But he wasn’t the wrong person. Even if the worst was true, he would never reveal her identity to anyone.
Feeling shattered by his thoughts, Kieran abandoned his desk. He grabbed his hat and phone and headed to the front of the station.
“I’m heading out for the day. Give me a call if something comes up.”
Lisa looked at him in surprise. “Everything okay?”
“It’s fine. Just need to take care of a few things. See you tomorrow.”
Kieran plunked his hat on his head as he left the station, nodding to a couple of people who walked past him. Thankfully, they didn’t want to talk, so he was able to climb into his Jeep and head for home. Already he knew that he wasn’t going to be staying there. He planned to change into his running clothes and go for a long run.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Cara was glad that the women in her morning class didn’t hang around to chat for too long. She was nervous about the upcoming meeting with Doug Anders, and she wanted a little bit of time to prepare herself for it.
After the last woman had left, Cara went upstairs to change into something besides her leotard and leggings. She wanted to look at least a little professional, so she settled on a pair of black slacks and a cream-colored sweater. Her hair was pulled back in the bun she usually put it in for her classes.
Even though it was lunchtime, she had no appetite. She would much rather be meeting Kieran for a bite at Norma’s than having to go through this visit with Doug.
Once she was ready, she went back downstairs to her office to wait for him. When she heard the door open, she got to her feet and went to meet him.
When her gaze landed on two men instead of the one she’d been expecting, her steps faltered. And when she saw the second man, her heart started to slam against her ribs. She didn’t know which one he was, but there was no denying that the second man was one of her father’s sons. The likeness was uncanny. She felt like she was looking at a younger version of her dad.
The emotions that were barreling through her made it difficult to breathe let alone talk.
“Cara.” Doug Anders held his hand out in a placating gesture while the other man stayed near the door.
Was he blocking her exit? If she could get into her office, she could retrieve the gun she kept locked in a drawer there and would be able to defend herself.
“We’re not here to hurt you,” Doug said. “I promise.”
Cara stepped back toward her office door. “I only agreed to meet with you.”
“I know. I didn’t tell you about Gio because I wanted you to speak to him yourself.”
“We should have met somewhere else,” Cara said, her voice tight. “You’ve compromised my home.”
“This is what your father wanted.”
Cara shook her head, unable to believe that. He’d repeatedly told her that his sons were dangerous. He wouldn’t have risked her life by having Doug bring one to her safe place.
She watched closely when Doug reached into his suit coat pocket, bracing herself to dart into her office for her gun. Though she’d been leery of owning a weapon, she’d gotten one at her father’s insistence, and she knew how to use it. Her father had taken her to a shooting range while she’d been in her teens, and he’d made sure that she was adept at using a gun. So while she didn’t like the idea of using one, she would if it meant the difference between life and death.
Instead of a gun, however, Doug held a white envelope when he pulled his hand out of his pocket. “This is from your father.”
She glanced at the man standing at the door whose dark eyes were watching her, his expression open and curious. He didn’t look threatening, but then, neither had her papa. At least not to her.
After a moment’s hesitation, she took the envelope. Her name was written in a familiar scrawl, and she had to blink back a sudden rush of tears.
“If you want to open it in private, we’ll wait out here for you.”
Cara nodded and slipped into her office, closing the door behind her. Rounding her desk, she sank down in her chair, grateful that her shaking legs no longer had to hold her weight.
With trembling hands, she opened the envelope and pulled out a piece of paper and the USB Doug had mentioned during the phone call. She sat for a moment before she unfolded the paper to read what was written on it.
Mia carissima ~ If you’re reading this, it means I have passed on and am hopefully now with your mama. I’m sure you are confused at this moment, but Doug is carrying out my final wishes in bringing Gio and this letter to you.
Cara frowned as she read that sentence. So bringing Gio to meet her really had been her dad’s idea?
I want you to watch the video on the USB and know that I made it without any sort of duress. These are my final wishes for you. All my love forever…Papa
She let out a shaky breath as she stared at the USB. Everything within her told her to ignore its contents and to tell Doug to leave and take Gio with him. But her love for her father compelled her to put the USB into the slot on her computer.
Watching through damp eyes as her father’s image came into focus, Cara struggled to take a breath. He looked so much better than the last time they’d talked. He must have filmed this a couple of months ago. Why hadn’t he just told her whatever was on the USB himself when they’d talked?
Hello mia carissima. His smile was filled with a familiar affection that made her heart ache, and she had to blink away tears. I know you won’t understand all that I’m going to tell you, but believe me when I say that I believe that this is for the best. It’s what I want for you and for Gio.
Last year, Gio reached out to Doug with some information he had on his twin brothers that could help prosecute them for several crimes, including the car bombing that killed your mama. Doug and Gio agreed that Gio would continue to work for the family while gathering more information. Soon after that, Gio asked Doug to open the lines of communication between us.
It took awhile for me to feel I could completely trust him, which was why I never mentioned him to you. I wanted to be one hundred percent certain before I was willing to introduce him to you.
He is the one who told me about God, and it is because of what he told me that you and I now share a faith. It is his desire to right the wrongs done by our family in much the same way I tried to. He has the proof that is needed to put his brothers away for your mother’s murder, and he is willing to testify in order to put them in prison where they belong.
In turning against his brothers, Gio will lose his family as surely as if they had died. His mother will also turn her back on him once she realizes what he has done to her other sons. You will both be without family, and it would be my last request of you to consider him your family now. It would mean everything to me if you two could become family for each other, so that neither of you are alone.
Unlike his brothers and me, Gio never played a significant role in the criminal side of our family, so in testifying, he will not have to give up his freedom like I did. He will be able to be there with you in a way I was never able to be once I tried to make things right.
At least hear him out, my darling. Gio is now a man of God, and serving God is the direction in which he wants to move. There is a seminary near you he could attend to pursue what he believes to be his calling.
I love you with all my heart, and I truly believe that Gio will be able to give you what I couldn’t.
I am sorry that I couldn’t have this conversation with you myself, but I didn’t want to waste any of our time together arguing over this. Please trust Doug and Gio. They mean you no harm whatsoever. I would never trust them with you if I felt otherwise.
Until we meet again in heaven, mia carissima.
As his image faded away, Cara wiped at the tears that slid down her cheeks. Her heart was so torn. If she didn’t have Kieran, she would have been able to let Gio into her life more easily. But after her father had passed, she’d been looking forward to closing that chapter of
her life. To cutting ties with Doug and her past.
How would she explain Gio’s presence in her life after she’d already told Kieran she had no siblings? One explanation would lead to another. Neither the letter nor the video had released her from the promise she made to her dad to not reveal anything about her past. And on top of that, now she’d need Gio’s permission to share anything with Kieran since her revelations would impact him as well.
Cara slumped back in her chair, pressing the palms of her hands against her eyes. She was so confused. Her love and loyalty for her father warred with her new feelings for Kieran. She worried that she couldn’t have both. She might have been willing to go against her father’s wishes and tell Kieran if her connection with her past had ended with his death.
But it obviously hadn’t.
Her past was as firmly entrenched in her life as it had ever been, and she didn’t know what to do about it.
She rubbed her hands over her face, trying to wipe away the wetness there. When the tightness in her chest had eased enough for her to take a deep breath, she got up and left her office. Uncertain of what to say to the men waiting for her, she just regarded them as they got to their feet.
“Do you have any questions?” Doug asked, his voice gentle.
“Will Gio go into hiding once he’s testified?”
Doug nodded. “He’ll have to, for his own safety.”
“My first choice would be to come here,” Gio said, speaking for the first time. “To carry out my father’s wishes and be a part of your life. However, I will respect your wishes too. If you don’t want me in your life, I’ll walk away and never contact you again.”
Cara wrapped her arms across her waist. It was hard to look at Gio and think about telling him to walk away when he looked so much like their father. There was a gentle expression on his face that was so much like the one she remembered seeing whenever her papa had looked at her.
“I would get my own place nearby, but I’d like to get to know you.”
“And you’d go to school? How old are you?”
Gio took a step toward her as Doug moved back. “I’m thirty years old, and yes, I’d like to go back to school. To seminary, actually.”
“Seminary? You want to be a…?”
“A pastor. A minister.”
“Really?”
Gio nodded. “I became a Christian during my last year at college while I was getting my bachelor's in accounting.”
“You’re an accountant?”
Gio nodded again. “It was supposed to be a career that could help the organization. I managed to drag things out as long as I could. Once I graduated, I ended up working for them for a few years, but during that time, I made notes of every illegal thing that was done.”
“And that’s the information you’re giving to Doug?”
“Yes. My goal is to take the organization to the point of being unable to function any longer. It’s what our father wanted.”
Cara stared out the window past Gio and Doug, wondering if New Hope could still be her home if she accepted Gio into her life. She could tell Kieran he was a half brother she’d never met before. That wasn’t a lie. Presumably he’d have a new identity as well. Maybe it could work. Maybe.
“You don’t have to make a decision today,” Doug said. “We’ll still be here for a couple of days.”
“Where are you staying?”
“At the small hotel just outside of town.”
“Not the lodge?”
Doug shook his head. “No. It’s called the Hideaway.”
“Okay. I’ll call you when I’ve had the time to think about all of this.”
Gio came closer to her, forcing her to tilt her head back a bit to meet his gaze. “Regardless of your decision, it was a pleasure to meet you. Though I do wish it had been under better circumstances.”
Cara could only nod, still uncertain how she felt about this man’s presence in her life. At that precise moment, all she could think about was how complicated her life had become because of him.
All she’d wanted was a quiet future in New Hope with Kieran.
Was that even possible anymore?
The men said goodbye, then headed out of the studio. Cara stood frozen as she watched them walk across to Norma’s. How was she supposed to make this decision?
With a sigh, Cara glanced at the clock on the wall to see how much time she had before her afternoon students arrived. Seeing there was still about an hour left, she went upstairs and changed back into the outfit she always wore for leading the class. She wasn’t hungry, but she forced herself to eat a sandwich since she would need to keep her energy up.
As she ate, she texted Kieran to see if they were still on for supper later that night. She wasn’t sure if she wanted him to agree or not because he was sure to pick up on her state of mind and ask questions she wasn’t sure she could answer. But she also really needed to see him.
He hadn’t answered by the time she had to go downstairs for her class, which meant he was probably tied up in a meeting or something. The afternoon class was her pregnancy stretching class, and she usually loved to see the women at each class. It was fun to watch their bodies change over the weeks, and then to have them come back after the births, with their babies, was so special.
But that day, she just wanted the class to be over.
She’d found herself opening up more to the women in her classes over the past couple of months. It seemed the closer she got to Kieran, the closer she wanted to be to others in town. Was it possible to still have that closeness while keeping a secret from them?
“They’re inducing me,” one of the women said to her at the end of the class. “So I won’t be here next week.”
Cara smiled at her, hoping that it looked genuine since she was still feeling raw from earlier. “Well, I pray your delivery goes smoothly, and I look forward to meeting your little one.”
“I’ll definitely bring her by as soon as I feel up to it,” the woman assured her.
“I hope you’ll come to the mommy and baby class once you’re ready.”
“I plan to, if for no other reason than to get out of the house every once in a while.”
That was one of the reasons she liked to have a progression of classes. It meant the women didn’t have to stop coming to the studio once they were done with one class.
The woman left the studio a couple of minutes later, chatting with another woman who was also coming up on her due date. Cara placed a hand against her own stomach, feeling its flatness and wondering what it would be like to carry a child. Growing up, she’d planned to have kids once she was done with ballet, but then that had all faded away when her life had changed so dramatically.
It was only because of Kieran that she was once again thinking of children in her future. She didn’t want to give that dream up. She didn’t want to lose her chance at love and a family of her own.
~*~
Kieran’s feet pounded the pavement as he made his way along the road that he usually took for his run. His pace was faster than what he’d usually set for that early in a run, but he needed to move. To put as much distance as he could between himself and New Hope.
His mind was a mess of thoughts and emotions as he started running, but the more demands he put on his body, the more focused his thoughts became. Not on what was going on with Cara, but on the music that was playing in his ears and controlling his breathing. His many questions and confusion would still be there when he got back, and hopefully, by then, his thoughts would be calm enough to think through what he needed to do.
He felt his phone buzz on his arm where he’d strapped it earlier, but he ignored it. If it was the station, they’d call him. The only people who tended to text him were his mom and Cara, and he didn’t want to talk with either of them right then.
It was a couple of hours before he made his way up the steps to his house. He’d stopped for awhile near the edge of the river, sitting on a rock and watching the water tumble
by. The turbulent water had been an accurate representation of what he was feeling inside.
Once home, he decided to take a bath instead of his usual shower because he needed to soak his muscles after that long run in the cool air. His body was getting too old for him to be pushing it so hard. He’d pay for it the next day.
It wasn’t until he was out of the tub and dressed that he checked his phone. His stomach clenched as he read Cara’s message.
Cara: Are we still on for dinner tonight?
Kieran set his phone on the counter and grabbed a glass from the cupboard. After he’d filled it with water, he took his phone and retreated to his recliner to ponder his next step, starting with how to respond to Cara.
The longer he sat in the chair, the more he felt that he couldn’t be in a relationship with Cara if she really was connected with the Moretti family. It was clear from what she’d shared about her father that she was close to him, so if her father was Marco Moretti, then that meant he was the papa she loved so much.
Was she unaware of what her father had done over the course of his adult life? Did she know how many lives had been rubbed out because of the mob organization he’d led? If she did know, how did she reconcile that with loving him?
Even if he hadn’t lost his brother and then his father because of the Moretti family, as a cop, he couldn’t be in a relationship with someone connected to them. To do so would leave him conflicted on so many different levels.
Kieran blinked back the sudden rush of moisture in his eyes. He had to stop thinking about her as Cara, the woman he’d been falling in love with, and start thinking of her as Carolina Jameson, daughter of a notorious crime boss. Maybe if she could have convinced him she knew nothing about her father’s life in New York City, they might have a chance at a future together, especially now that he was dead.
But then he had to wonder why Doug Anders and Giovanni Moretti were coming to New Hope to see her. Plus, as he thought about it, she’d been going to Texas to visit her father, which meant she had been seeing him in prison. While he may have been willing to give up the dirt on some in his organization, he was still guilty of a lot himself.
Because of Him: A Christian Romance (New Hope Falls Book 2) Page 21
