Kieran had always thought Doug Anders was a straight-up guy who had made sure that Moretti had had to pay for his sins even if a jury hadn’t found him guilty of them. Seeing Doug with the youngest Moretti son made Kieran reconsider how straight up the man might actually be.
Finally, he lifted his phone and tapped out a message to Cara, knowing he couldn’t put off the inevitable.
I can come by your place around six.
He set the phone down in his lap and leaned his head back, trying to figure out why this hurt so much. It wasn’t like they’d been together that long. They hadn’t even said they loved each other yet.
Not that Kieran doubted that that was how he felt about her. He’d known for a little while now that she had a firm grip on his heart. The only reason he hadn’t said the words yet was because he’d felt it was too soon, and he’d been a bit worried that maybe she didn’t feel the same way.
Now it didn’t matter because their relationship was at an end. His mom would be disappointed, and he wouldn’t be able to give her the real reason why it had ended, because while he might be angry that Cara had kept this a secret from him, he would keep her identity private. He didn’t want to put her in any kind of danger.
A text came in a short time later, and Kieran sighed as he picked it up to read it.
Cara: Sounds good! See you then.
The heart she sent him was just like a kick to his gut. If she did love him, had she planned to tell him about her past eventually? Or would that have been something she kept from him forever, knowing that, as a cop, he would have struggled with the knowledge?
But what was a relationship without honesty? Not a good one, that’s what.
Kieran glanced at the clock on his phone and saw that he still had an hour before he had to go to Cara’s. His stomach felt tight with nerves, and he was a little nauseous at the thought of what was to come. He’d never broken things off with someone before. Toni had been his only serious relationship, and she’d been the one to put an end to their engagement.
He spent the hour rehearsing what he was going to say to her, trying to make sure he wouldn’t choke when the time came. The most effective thing so far was to picture her face filled with adoration for her papa. The man who might as well have pulled the trigger on his family. The way his stomach twisted at that thought was enough to know he had to push through…no matter how much it hurt.
Their relationship was doomed if he couldn’t get past that feeling. Maybe if he’d been just an average cop who knew about the Moretti family but had never experienced their brutality firsthand, he would have been able to deal with Cara’s identity. Unfortunately, most cops in New York had more than just a passing knowledge of the family. Whether it was because they’d had a buddy on the force who’d been wounded or killed as the result of a run-in with some member of the family, or because they’d been directly impacted, he figured most of the guys would have a problem dating a member of the Moretti family.
When it was almost time to leave, he changed from the sweats he’d put on earlier into jeans and a sweater. He made sure his hair wasn’t standing up at odd angles then gathered up his wallet, keys, and phone and left the house.
It only took him a matter of minutes to get to Cara’s studio. He found a parking spot a couple of doors down, then slowly got out of the Jeep.
Steeling himself against the emotions that were running rampant through his body, Kieran walked down the sidewalk, his gaze fixed on the door to the studio. The one Doug Anders and Giovanni Moretti had walked through just hours ago.
When he reached the studio, he paused for a moment, then pulled the door open. Cara came out of the office, a smile on her face. As she neared him, he could see that the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. It seemed that perhaps the visit from the men earlier was stressing her out, too.
Before she reached him, Kieran held up a hand for her to stop. He couldn’t deal with a hug or a kiss right then. Not when so much stood between them now.
She came to an abrupt halt, her brows drawing together in a frown. “What’s wrong?”
Steeling himself for what was to come, he lowered his hand and said, “Is your father Marco Moretti?”
The emotions that crossed her face told him everything he needed to know. Shock. Fear. Guilt. The knot in his stomach tightened even further.
“Why are you asking?”
“Because I need to know.”
She wrapped her arms across her waist as her head bent forward for a moment. When she looked back at him, her expression was resigned.
“Yes. He is…was…my father.”
“So he just died in prison in Texas?”
Her eyes narrowed briefly before she nodded.
Without waiting for her to respond, he asked, “What were Doug Anders and Giovanni Moretti doing here earlier?”
Shock once again crossed her face. “How do you know them?”
Resolved to what he had to do, Kieran decided he might as well answer her question. It was the only way she’d understand why he was doing what he was.
“I knew Doug Anders as an ADA when I worked in New York. And every cop in that city knows who the members of the Moretti family are.” He paused. “Except for you. They didn’t know there was a mafia princess.”
Her expression tightened at the term. “That’s not what I am.”
He was too weary to fight with her over semantics. “The main reason I know who your father and your brothers are, is because they are responsible for the deaths of my father and brother.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Cara’s face went pale at his words. “What?”
“My brother got caught up in the world of organized crime and was one of the low guys on the totem pole in your father’s organization. Do you know what that meant?” She shook her head. “It meant he was expendable. So when they sent him on a risky drug deal, they didn’t care what was waiting for him at the other end. They didn’t care that he was taken down in a blaze of bullets when the deal went south.”
Cara stood there, her eyes wide, but she didn’t say anything, which was just as well, because Kieran didn’t want to hear an apology from her. And he wasn’t done yet.
“Six months later, my father was filled with so much rage and grief that he confronted your father one night when they crossed paths while my dad was on a different case. Moretti’s goons made sure my dad didn’t get anywhere near him again and our family, which had been four, suddenly became two. Your family did that to mine.”
He saw Cara take a shaky breath and lift one hand to fist it beneath her chin. “I don’t know what to say.”
“I don’t either.” Kieran rubbed a hand down his face. “But I don’t think this is going to work out for us.”
She blinked rapidly, but then she nodded, understanding and devastation warring for dominance on her face. “Doug Anders brought Giovanni here as a favor to my father.”
Kieran stared at her. “A favor to your father?”
“I know you say that things are over for us, but can I trust you?”
Her question, laced with worry and fear, gutted him. “Yes. I will never breathe a word about who you are to anyone. I just can’t forget about it myself, which means it’s impossible for me to see a future with you.”
She nodded, her gaze dropping. “Gio, whom I’d never met before, is preparing to testify against his brothers. He has proof that they were responsible for the car bombing that killed my mother and was supposed to kill me. He’s also been working as an accountant for the organization and will be presenting enough evidence to bring the organization down.”
Her words shocked Kieran. “He’s turning state’s witness, just like your dad did?”
“Yes, but unlike my father, he won’t be going to prison because he hasn’t committed any crimes.”
Kieran had a hard time believing that, but he wasn’t going to argue with her. If she needed to believe the man was innocent, that was her prerogative, but he knew enough abo
ut the family to have a hard time accepting that anyone with the last name Moretti was actually innocent.
“I hope he has more success with his testimony than your dad did. His sons still managed to walk away from their trials as free men.”
“I think Gio’s evidence is more damning than what our father had.”
He really hoped that the guy could come through and that they’d get an honest judge and jury so that justice could be done for the many people who’d lost their lives because of the Moretti family. It sounded like Cara had suffered at the hands of the brothers too, having lost her mother and then her identity in order to be safe from their blood-thirsty vendetta.
For a moment, he wanted to toss all his reservations to the wind and gather Cara into his arms. If he’d only known that the kiss they’d shared the night before would be their last, he would have held her longer. But there was no going back now. He couldn’t be with her for so many reasons, so it was better to back away now rather than offer some kind of false hope that maybe things could work between them.
When her beloved father was the man responsible for the death of Kieran’s loved ones, there was no way to bridge that chasm.
As the reality of that thought sank into his heart, the ache intensified, and Kieran knew he had to get away from Cara.
“I need to go.”
Cara took a noticeably shaky breath and blew it out as she nodded. Kieran stared at her for one more long second before he turned away and pushed open the door. It wouldn’t be the last time he saw her—the town was too small for that—but he wouldn’t allow himself to ever get as close to her again. That would just make things that much more difficult.
As it was, the pain only got worse as he made his way home. The more distance he put between them, the worse it hurt. How could it really hurt that badly? The pain was like losing Toni all over again, but they’d been together for a few years, not just weeks.
He’d already been off work because of his dad’s death when Toni had broken up with him, so he hadn’t had to try to figure out how to focus on work when his personal life was falling apart. This time around, he didn’t have that same luxury. He’d have to go into work each day and hope that people would stay out of his personal life.
That was probably a vain hope because so many people had been excited to see him and Cara together. They’d all want to know what had happened. Irreconcilable differences had never rung truer, but he wouldn’t be able to give any details beyond that.
When he’d told Cara he wouldn’t reveal any of the details about her life, he’d been telling the truth. It wasn’t his desire to mess with her life or livelihood. He just couldn’t be a part of it any longer.
Kieran walked into his house, feeling as if the weight of the world rested on his shoulders. He wasn’t sure he could handle losing love again, even if it had been his decision this time. For sure, he was done with relationships. It hurt too much when things went wrong, and for him, it seemed that when they went wrong, they went epically wrong.
With his body and heart aching, Kieran dragged himself to bed despite the early hour, hoping that even if he did toss and turn for part of the night that he’d get enough sleep so that he wouldn’t look like death when he walked into the station the next day.
~*~
Cara watched Kieran walk out of her studio, stunned at the painful turn her life had taken in just the past few minutes. She wanted to run after him, to beg him to give them another chance, but the futility of the situation held her in place. He’d found out about her past, which, under normal circumstances, they might have been able to overcome. But finding out the horrible way in which their families were connected had put a nail in the coffin of their relationship.
On some level, she’d known that her dad hadn’t been a good man even though he’d always been so gentle and loving with her. The fact that even after he’d turned state’s witness, he’d still ended up in prison had told her that he’d done some pretty awful things. But knowing it and seeing the ramifications of his actions for herself were two very different things.
She knew Kieran well enough at that point to see the hurt he felt as he ended their relationship. If only they could have just forgotten all about the family connection, but that wasn’t possible, and now she was left to wonder if she could even stay in New Hope.
A sob escaped her throat as she sank to the floor. She wrapped her arms around her legs and pressed her forehead to her knees. The grief she felt at having lost the man she’d come to love threatened to tear her apart. Her grief was compounded by her father’s passing, which was now complicated by the feeling that she’d never really known him.
How much more loss was she supposed to have to endure in her life? She’d thought that with Kieran, she finally had hope for a future where she wasn’t all by herself, but now that was gone, and she found herself alone once again.
“Cara?”
The sound of a woman’s voice had Cara scrambling to her feet, dragging her hands across her cheeks. Looking up, she saw Sarah standing just inside the doorway.
“Are you okay?” Sarah asked, concern clear on her face as she walked toward her.
Cara wrapped her arms tightly across her chest and shrugged. She wasn’t sure she could trust her voice not to fail her. To her horror, more tears spilled down her cheeks, and Sarah instantly closed the remaining distance between them and wrapped her arms around her.
The other woman’s offer of comfort without even knowing what the problem was brought on the tears again. The last person who had held her and offered her comfort had been Kieran, and now she’d never know what it felt like to be held by him again. His strength and support were no longer there for her to lean on.
She didn’t know how long she’d stood there crying in Sarah’s arms before it felt like all her emotions had drained out of her, leaving her exhausted. The emotional toll of the day was overwhelming her.
Stepping back from Sarah, Cara wiped at the moisture on her cheeks and let out a long breath. “Sorry to cry all over you.”
“It’s okay. I don’t mind, except I don’t like seeing you so upset,” Sarah said with a gentle smile. “What’s wrong?”
Cara thought about passing it off as grief over her father, but the truth would be out sooner rather than later. In a town that size, it would spread like wildfire, and since there wasn’t much chance that this was only a temporary break-up, telling Sarah what had happened seemed to make the most sense.
But saying it would make it seem so real…so official. Still, there was no going back now. “Kieran and I broke up.”
“What?” Sarah’s eyes widened to almost comical proportions while her mouth gaped open. “Seriously?”
Cara sighed as she nodded.
“What happened? You guys just seemed so perfect together.”
Even though she’d thought she’d cried all the tears she had, another sob rose up within her. She’d thought they were perfect together too. She’d felt closer to him than to anyone except for her mom and dad, and now they were all gone from her life.
“Something came up that we just couldn’t get past.”
Sarah’s brows drew together. “Something insurmountable? Something you guys couldn’t work through?”
“Yeah. I can’t go into details because it’s private, but it’s not something that we’ll be able to move beyond. This was for the best.”
“Did you call it off?”
“No, but he was right to do it.”
“I refuse to believe that it was that bad.” Sarah crossed her arms and lifted her chin. “I’m going to pray for you guys and hope that it’s God’s will for you to get back together again.”
Cara wanted to tell her to save her breath, but she didn’t because maybe God would make a way that she and Kieran couldn’t see in their present situations. There would be no harm in Sarah praying. As long as Cara didn’t harbor any hope herself, it wouldn’t hurt if others wanted to pray on her and Kieran’s behalf.
“The town is so small,” Cara said. “And this was Kieran’s home first. It will be impossible not to run into each other all the time, which will make things really difficult.”
“I can understand that, but don’t make any decisions yet. This just happened today, right?”
“Yeah. Just a little while ago.”
“Then don’t make any decisions while your emotions over it are still so fresh.” Sarah gave her a fierce look. “Promise?”
“I promise.”
“Besides, you can’t leave before Christmas. You have the dance recital to carry-through with,” Sarah reminded her. “Which is why I’m here.”
“Oh no. I completely forgot you were coming over. I’m so sorry.”
“No worries.” Sarah patted her arm. “Do you want to discuss the scenery you wanted me to paint for the recital now? I can come back another time if you’d prefer.”
“Now is good. Might help to take my mind off things.”
“Good. That’s what I like to hear.”
“Do you want to come up to my place?” Cara asked, suddenly needing to be in the comfort and security of her home.
This was the first time she’d ever invited anyone upstairs except for Kieran, but maybe it was time to invite more people in. Although it might not matter in the long run if she did decide to leave New Hope.
“Sure.”
Sarah picked up her bag from where it lay at her feet as Cara moved past her to lock the studio door. As they passed by the photos on the wall in the hallway leading to the stairs, Sarah stopped to look at them.
“This is you,” she stated.
“Yes.”
“You were an honest to goodness ballerina.”
Cara couldn’t help but smile at her words, even though it was a small smile. “Yes, I was.”
Because of Him: A Christian Romance (New Hope Falls Book 2) Page 22
