But I came up empty.
And if those feelings were the needles, the excitement I felt over seeing Reese was the hay that made the stack. Those feelings were bountiful. The very knee that Cameron held onto bounced with anticipation of seeing another man — one I couldn’t stop thinking about.
We hadn’t had the chance to be alone since Monday night, since before Cameron surprised us both on stage at the spring concert. Thankfully, I’d been able to talk to him during school yesterday, but we hadn’t had a single moment in passing today. There were several times he’d tried to catch me, to talk to me, but we’d been interrupted every time. I couldn’t wait to see him, to finally be able to have more than a crossing of paths.
I wondered how he’d look tonight, what tuxedo he would wear, how he’d style his hair. I wondered if he’d look at me while he played. I wondered if he’d find a way to steal a moment from me.
I wondered if hell was nice, since all signs pointed to me going there now.
My husband was in the car with me, begging me for my attention, and I couldn’t stop fantasizing about Reese. I’d waited so long to have this want from Cameron, to have him look at me the way he used to, to hear the words he’d always held silently in his heart.
And when my mind wandered like that, I thought about Jane, my beloved Budgie that I’d set loose.
I wondered if she still loved me and thought of me, too. I wondered if she was thankful I’d set her free, or if she was devastated that I had let her go. In two months, I’d be in her place, only I’d have the choice — fly out the window to a new life, or stay inside with the one I’ve known for years.
I was only two days into the two months I’d promised Cameron, and I already felt the truth of it all like it was a necklace I never took off — one I didn’t have to examine to know what it looked like, to know it was there.
Two months wouldn’t be enough.
Still, when we arrived at the restaurant and Cameron circled the car to my side at valet, opening my door for me and helping me out with his hand in mine, I made a promise to myself that I would at least try. I would at least hear him out. I would at least give him the chance I promised him.
At least then, at the end of it all, I could say I’d made the right decision.
I looped my arm in Cameron’s as we made our way inside The Kinky Starfish, a swanky dinner and cocktail spot in the heart of downtown Pittsburgh. I’d never been before, though Mom and Dad had spent a couple of anniversaries there. All I knew was that one dinner there cost about as much as our entire electric bill, and the dinner was served slowly and purposefully over the course of four hours.
It wasn’t just food. It was an experience.
With Reese playing the piano that evening, I had no doubt it would be one I’d never forget.
I could feel how tense Cameron was as he opened the door for me, ushering me inside and out of the cold. We checked our coats, and when I threaded my arm through his again, I squeezed his forearm. No matter what was going on in my head right now, I knew it was a huge sacrifice for him to be here. He knew we were coming to watch Reese play, the man whom I’d spent the entire weekend with.
I knew without a doubt that I couldn’t do the same if our roles were reversed.
It felt a little like masochism to me, that Cameron not only agreed to let me go tonight, but that he came with me. I wondered if it was just so he could keep an eye on me, so he could keep Reese and me away from each other, or if he was just trying to show me that he wasn’t going anywhere.
It suddenly occurred to me that I hadn’t even asked how he was feeling.
Tugging on his arm, I pulled him to the side of the hostess stand before he could tell her the name of our reservation.
“Are you okay?”
Cameron’s brows knitted together. “I’m fine. Are you okay?”
“No, I mean… are you okay? With being here.”
Cameron swallowed, his eyes catching somewhere behind me before they found mine again. “I’ll survive.”
“We can go,” I offered, but my stomach sank at the thought. “If you don’t want to be here. I understand.”
His jaw flexed, and he grabbed my hands in his, pulling me closer.
“You want me to be honest right now?”
I nodded, smoothing my thumb over his.
Cameron looked at me for a long moment, his eyes searching mine like he was the one who’d asked a question and I had the answer inside them. It seemed almost like he was debating whether he could tell me the truth or not — whether it would matter. Or maybe he didn’t even know what the truth was, himself.
Finally, he let out a long breath, shaking his head. “The truth is nothing matters more to me than your happiness,” he said, voice just above a whisper. “And I can see as clearly as that lipstick on your lips that being here makes you happy. So yes, I’m okay.” He squeezed my hands. “I’m more than okay.”
His admission made my heart ache, and I squeezed his hands in return, because I knew while that may have been a truth, it wasn’t the entire truth.
He was hurting. Being here hurt him.
And he was taking the pain for me.
I couldn’t wrap my mind around that kind of selfless love, not when I was in the middle of what was possibly the most selfish time in my entire life. But I didn’t have time to overthink it before Cameron leaned forward to softly kiss my lips, and then he led us to the hostess, who took us immediately to the table.
Mom and Dad were already there, and they jumped up as soon as they saw us, Dad rushing to shake Cameron’s hand as Mom wrapped me in a hug. They were going on and on about how excited they were for all of us to be there, but I was too busy staring at the stranger at our table to hear anything they were saying.
It was a woman.
A woman who, if I had to guess, was not much older than me. She had platinum blonde hair, straight as a pin and hanging down to the middle of her back. She pulled it over one shoulder as she smiled, waiting patiently behind my parents as they greeted us. Her bright blue eyes were heavily lined, her lips the same red shade as mine, and she wore a tight, beige dress that hugged all of her curves and showed off her beautiful tan skin.
My first thought was that she was someone new to the country club, a new trophy wife Mom was trying to make feel welcome. Then I thought maybe she was a new employee at Reid Energy Solutions, or perhaps a client Dad was trying to schmooze.
But something inside me, something low in my gut, told me the reason she was there wasn’t for my parents.
“Oh!” Mom said when our greetings were done and she noticed the woman standing behind them. “Where are my manners? Charlie, Cameron, I’m so excited to introduce you to Blake Springthorpe. She’s joining us all the way from New York City.”
“So nice to meet you both,” she said, her smile taking over her entire face as she leaned forward to shake my hand first, and then Cameron’s. “It’s nice to know Reese still has such amazing childhood friends that would come see him play on his first night.”
I lifted one brow, the sinking in my stomach growing more as we finished shaking hands. “Oh, you know Reese?”
Blake laughed a little, the sound light and angelic as she shared a knowing look with my mother. Behind her, I noticed Reese crossing the room toward us from back where the bathrooms were, and his eyes doubled in size when he saw me.
Just before he joined us, Mom confirmed that feeling in my gut was there for a reason.
“Of course she knows him, sweetie.” Mom chuckled. “This is Reese’s girlfriend.”
CHAPTER THREE
* * *
Reese
If hell was a place on Earth, I was literally walking into it in a tuxedo.
I’d told myself to wait, to not go to the bathroom until after Charlie and Cameron had arrived. I was going to try to pull her aside before she got to the table, though I hadn’t exactly figured out how I would do that yet. But it didn’t matter now — she was standing righ
t next to Blake.
And judging by the steam coming from her ears, I wasn’t going to have the chance to explain a damn thing.
“Ah, there’s the man of the night!” Maxwell said as I approached the group. He clapped me hard on the back, squeezing my shoulder with a proud grin. “Are you open for requests yet, son? You must play The Way You Look Tonight.”
Gloria beamed. “That’s our wedding song.”
“Exactly, dear. That’s why he must play it.”
He leaned in to kiss her blushing cheek, and I swear Blake melted into a puddle on the floor watching them.
Charlie, however, was shooting lasers at me with her beautiful brown eyes.
“Anything for you, Mr. Reid,” I said, clearing my throat. “Nice to see you, Charlie.” I clenched my jaw, trying to keep my smile in place. “Cameron.”
“Oh, we wouldn’t miss it,” Cameron said, his grin wide and confident. Clearly he’d caught on to the fact that Charlie didn’t know about Blake, and he didn’t have to say anything for me to already know what he was thinking.
This would work against me, and play right into his plan to convince Charlie to stay.
“Mom was just introducing us to your girlfriend,” Charlie said next, and the woman didn’t show a single card as the words left her lips. They were light and airy, riding on a beautiful smile — one that I knew hid all the questions she had for me.
And likely a few curse words, too.
“Why am I not surprised you haven’t told them about me yet?” Blake teased, threading her arm in mine and leaning up on her toes to kiss my cheek.
Charlie watched that kiss with murder in her eyes.
“Reese always was the perpetual bachelor,” she explained to the group, a charming smile firmly in place. “I don’t think the word girlfriend left his lips in at least ten years before he made it official with me.”
Maxwell and Gloria laughed at that, and it was a perfect segue for Gloria to tell the story of how she and Maxwell had met and started dating. I smiled and nodded as she did, but my eyes kept finding Charlie’s, and hers never left mine.
I wasn’t sure if she wanted to cry or kill me.
It felt a little like both.
I cursed the time on my watch that told me I had to make my way to my piano. I wouldn’t get my first fifteen-minute break for at least an hour, and that meant an hour of playing and not talking to Charlie. It meant an hour of her not knowing why I kept Blake from her, and how I felt about her.
It also meant an hour with Cameron.
And an hour for Blake to make things even worse.
I gritted my teeth, knowing I had no choice but to wait for that break. I had to figure out a way to get her away from the table when that time came.
“Well, it’s time for me to start,” I said. “I’ll join you for a drink after this first set.”
“Oh, good luck, babe!” Blake said excitedly, kissing my cheek again before taking her seat next to Gloria.
“Break a leg, son,” Maxwell chimed.
And with one last, longing look at Charlie, I made my way to the piano.
***
It was the longest, most torturous hour of my life.
While playing the piano for someone other than a student again should have brought me nothing but joy, all I could do was force a smile as I played through my set list, all the while checking the time on my watch for an acceptable amount of time to pass for me to take a break.
When I wasn’t charming the crowd with the occasional wink and smile, I was staring at Charlie.
Blake seemed to be the one filling all the conversation at the table, and the more she made everyone else laugh, the more I watched Charlie drink. The more she drank, the more her brows lowered as she glared at me.
It was literally the worst-case scenario, and I cursed myself more and more each passing minute for not making time to explain to her before the night had arrived. Trying to catch her at school earlier today had been impossible, but I should have somehow found a way to make it work. I should have waited to use the damn bathroom until she was here.
Rookie mistakes, ones that would cost me.
Still, I wasn’t out of cards, and I played one I hoped would salvage the night as I rounded out my set list.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” I said, fingers softly grazing the keys as I addressed the crowd. “It’s time for me to take a short break. But don’t worry, I’ll be back soon to continue playing your requests. Before I go, here’s one last song. This one is an original, one I wrote for a very special girl.” I smiled then. “I think that’s how all the great love songs start, isn’t it?”
The crowd chuckled a bit at that, and I found Charlie’s eyes once more, wondering if she was starting to recognize the tune as my fingers moved. Blake pressed a hand to her chest where she sat beside Gloria. She thought the song was for her.
But I didn’t have to say for Charlie to know.
It was the same tune she’d woken up to, the one I’d written after I’d had her for the first time, after I’d touched her, kissed her, existed inside her. And when the first crescendo played, I saw recognition hit.
Charlie’s frown faded for the first time that night, and I begged her with my eyes across that crowded room to listen. I tried with the only tool I had to bring her back to that night, to the weekend, to the night not so long ago before everything got even more complicated between us.
That night seemed so far away now.
Had it really just been days before? Was it really only Wednesday now? For some reason, that first night we shared seemed like years ago, and my chest ached with the need to bring it back to Charlie. I wanted to take her home. I wanted to hold her. I wanted to remind her how she could be loved, if she chose me.
Cameron had forgotten their anniversary. He had forgotten to be a husband to Charlie when she needed him most. Now, he begged her for more time, but he didn’t deserve it.
He didn’t deserve her.
Then again, I was the one with a “girlfriend” sitting at the table with her right now. As much as Cameron had hurt her, now I had, too.
I just hoped the song would reach her.
Charlie watched me as I played, her face stoic, hand reaching for her wine every now and then. I still cast my gaze over the entire crowd, but I found her more than usual that song, trying to read her, trying to hold her with the song since I couldn’t hold her in my arms.
Near the end, I watched the candlelight catch in her eyes as they glossed over, and she shook her head before standing abruptly, whispering something to Cameron before dashing back toward the bathrooms.
There was another full minute in the song, but I ended it early, thanking the restaurant for their applause all the while making sure I didn’t lose Charlie in the crowd. Once I’d taken my bows, I stopped by the table long enough to ask Blake to order me a drink and thank the Reids for their kind compliments.
Then, I excused myself for the bathroom, chasing after the only girl who mattered.
***
Charlie
I flew into the women’s bathroom with steam rolling off my skin in waves.
Stomping into the first open stall, I slammed the door closed behind me and fisted my hands at my sides. If it wasn’t such a nice restaurant, I would have screamed. I would have cursed. I would have probably cried.
Because I’d been duped.
Reese had done nothing but look at me like I was the only woman who mattered in the world for the last two months. He’d taken his time, slowly making his way inside my heart, and once he’d had it, he’d dug his claws in deep. I believed every word he said — how could I not with the sincerity I found in his emerald eyes?
But Blake Springthorpe was living proof that all of it was a lie.
Reese had a girlfriend, and suddenly everything that had existed between us felt like the reflection of a fun house mirror. It was warped — a fat, distorted version of the truth.
He’d lied to me, he’d kept any menti
on of Blake out of every single conversation we’d had, and even worse — he’d cheated on her.
With me.
A married woman.
A new rush of anger flooded me at the realization, at how stupid I had been, how careless, how completely naïve. I let it take me over, my body bending with that rage, until it faded and left behind the real cause of my grief.
Hurt.
I was hurt.
I was jealous and scared, angry and sad, and more than anything, I was confused. Why would he say the things he did, and do the things he’d done, if he was in a relationship? Was he ever going to tell me about her? Was he ever going to end it with her?
Or was I just a conquest?
My fingers ran up through my hair, twisting and gripping until the pain I felt in my chest transitioned to my scalp.
It occurred to me then that while I knew the Reese Walker who existed fourteen years ago, the one I’d stayed up late with talking and listening to him play piano, I hadn’t a clue who he had become over the years — or who he really was now.
How could I believe him as the boy I used to know, when that boy no longer existed?
I forced several breaths in the bathroom stall before slowly moving to the sink. I washed my hands calmly, reapplying my lipstick and fixing my hair. For a moment, I just stared at the woman gazing back at me, the woman I didn’t recognize. I saw so many things in that reflection: a wife, a daughter, a cheater, a liar, a lost little girl, a selfish woman.
I wondered what other people saw.
When my heart was as calm as it could be, given the circumstances, I opened the door that led back into the restaurant. But before I could take two steps, a hand wrapped around my wrist, and I was yanked into the mens’ bathroom.
Panic surged through me as Reese tugged me inside, pressing my back into the door and covering my mouth with his hand as he locked it behind us. When I realized it was him, I narrowed my eyes, biting his middle finger until he yanked his hand back.
Best Kept Secrets: The Complete Series Page 28
