Selected Assistant

by Robin Roseau

  “You know, I don’t think I’ll perform well, but yes, I think I’d like that. I would like to catch Yvette. If I do, then she owes me a conversation about her upcoming political career.”

  Yvette laughed. “Sure.”

  “I wish to catch Yvette,” Violet said. “I have a tickle rack waiting for her.”

  Yvette laughed again. “Sure,” she repeated.

  “Chervil,” I asked, unsure if this interested anyone else, but I thought I’d ask. “Would you accept a cuddle with anyone here who catches you?”

  He squeaked a few times then looked around and said, “I do not believe Ambassador Amaryllis wishes to cuddle me.”

  “Perhaps she does; perhaps she doesn’t. What if Oberon catches you?”

  He eyed the Luxan. “If anyone here catches me and wishes a cuddle, I would do so.” He squeaked again. “I would not have said that a month ago.”

  “We’ve all expanded our horizons.” Prudence said. “It sounds like everyone is hunting everyone.”

  “It does,” Jasmine agreed. “We do not usually do that. Who wants to offer suggestions?”

  “If we’re teams, are we catching an entire team?” I asked.

  “No,” Audra said. “There are several people who are after you. There are several others who may want me, or Yvette.”

  We talked around ideas, and then we had a plan.

  * * * *

  We were plunked down near the southeast corner of one of the forest arenas. We were in our laser battle suits, and we each had two guns. Audra had talked me into a long and a medium gun, both with scopes. She had the same. Yvette had gone for a medium and short-range gun. We each had a backpack with water and a first-aid kit, and everyone was in a visor.

  “Okay,” Audra said. “We have to pick who we want to hunt.”

  “Yvette, who do you want to go after?”

  “Anyone,” she said. “You wanted the Loris.”

  “No. I was asking because I thought I wasn’t the only one who would want that if they caught him.” I paused. “I don’t want to pick,” I added in a small voice.

  “Can’t decide between them?”

  “No.”

  She grinned. “We should go after the Niecor then. That would be the funniest.”

  “I think we should go after Jasmine,” I said.

  “Taisha,” she said gently.

  “Or Posey.” I sighed. “I don’t want to choose between them. Do you blame me? If we go after Forever, then Aventurine and Carolina may be offended. We should catch whoever one of you wants, and I’ll take my chances.”

  “Bluebell,” Audra said.

  “Bluebell,” Yvette agreed.

  I grinned. “Bluebell.”

  On our visors, an arrow and distance appeared.

  “Before we take off,” Audra said. “We’re probably being hunted by half the groups out here.” Everyone knew we were together, but we had no idea how the other teams were formed. “I’m fairly sure there are at least three after Taisha, and possibly more.”

  “I bet Oberon and Danette are going after each other,” I suggested.

  “If they aren’t teamed up and going after someone else. My wife almost certainly is after me. Violet will want Skye. I don’t know if they’re partnered or not. Bluebell and Azalea are complete wildcards. I don’t believe Amaryllis was using misdirection, and Yvette is a likely target by several other people.”

  “What’s your point?” I asked.

  “I’m suggesting we’re going to come under heavy fire, and fast. That’s all.”

  “Right. Pick a path.”

  We took off at a jog, not directly following the area, but traveling the perimeter.

  * * * *

  Audra was likely right. It wasn’t three minutes later before I said, “I’m hit! I’m hit!” We all dived to the ground and then scrambled to the nearest tree.

  “Did you see anything?” Audra asked.

  “No. Got my arm. My gun-arm, no less.” It was totally stiff at an odd angle.

  “Unless that was five hits, that was one of the long guns,” Audra said. “Let’s keep going. Keep down. You first. Run for the next tree.” She pointed.

  I jumped up and ran. If someone fired at me, I didn’t see it. Soon, they caught up to me at the next tree, and we took off together.

  Yvette was the next, a glancing shot on her shoulder, and lower power. We ducked down, and then Audra poked up, trying to find it. She began firing. Yvette and I both popped up, too, saw where Audra was firing, and began blanketing the area. I took a hit in the side, turned, and saw people advancing on us. I lifted my gun and returned fire, but it was the long, slow gun, and I was terrible with it. I think I got two hits, but the three of them hit me and both my partners. We all went down, and they kept firing until we were entirely stiffened.

  “Well, shit,” Audra said.

  I had fallen on my side, so I saw Violet, Makiko, and Amaryllis walk up to us, guns aimed. “Well, well,” said the ambassador. “Look what we have here. Which one are we taking?”

  “You wanted Yvette,” Makiko offered. “And look: here she is.”

  “I told you,” Audra said. “Half the teams are after us.”

  “Don’t flatter yourselves,” Violet said. “We’re tracking my wife. But if you were going to run right in front of us, why not? Should we claim Yvette, Amaryllis?”

  “I wouldn’t mind that plan.”

  “Well then,” Violet said. “Yvette D’altrea, you are now our prisoner.”

  Yvette’s suit reset. Her guns powered down, and then they helped her up and brushed her off. And then they stepped past us, taking their prisoner with them.

  * * * *

  Audra and I lay there another minute. Then our suits reset, and we helped each other up. “Try to get her back?” I asked.

  “Sure.”

  We set off in pursuit. Two minutes later, we heard the sounds of a firefight. We slowed, and then, peering around a tree, we saw the four of them, Yvette sitting on the ground, the other three firing somewhere ahead and to the right. More shots were coming back. Audra and I ducked back, and she pulled me to her. “Let’s take them down, but slowly. Careful shots, so it feels like they’re getting random shots from whoever is shooting at them. Then we wait, and we take down whoever comes for them.”

  “Sure.”

  We both poked around, using our long guns. I took careful aim. Amaryllis sure was a nice, tall target, and I lined up on her gun arm.

  Nailed her.

  We didn’t take them down entirely. We simply lowered their effectiveness, but we let them and the other team do most of the work to each other. Then there was a rush. Verity, Chervil, and Cinder stepped into view, firing like crazy, taking them down. It looked like they had all been hit a little themselves. Verity was firing left-handed, and she was walking strangely. Cinder was turned sideways, and I thought her suit was stiffened. Chervil was doing better.

  “Take their legs first,” Audra whispered. “Three, two, one.”

  We began firing. I worked carefully. I got Chervil first, as the most mobile, and Audra seemed to have the same idea. She was faster and nailed Cinder in the waist. I got Verity in her leg, then put two more shots into her.

  They tried to crawl away. Chervil would have made it, but Audra and I both lit him up, and then we got the other two.

  Then, for good measure, we shot everyone else a few times, except for Yvette.

  And then we calmly walked over. “Well, well,” Audra said. “Yvette, care to rejoin us, or should we leave you with them.”

  “Oh, I’m coming with you.”

  “Pick a prisoner,” Audra said. “Loris, Hobble, or Tutor?”

  “Loris. Chervil, you cute thing you,” Yvette said. “You are now our prisoner.” We helped him up as he chittered at us, but then he kept up with us as we moved on, following the pointer to Bluebell again.

  * * * *

  “Chervil,” Yvette asked. “Who were you after?”

 
“You.”

  Audra chuckled. “Told you.”

  “Taisha, did you really want a cuddle?”

  “Chervil, I was asking for all the other people there, but if you were offering, I wouldn’t turn one down.”

  “But I am a male, and you prefer females.”

  “It is only a cuddle,” I said. “You’re really cute, and it’s really hard not to see you as, well, as the sort of thing I’d like to cuddle with. Please don’t be offended.”

  “I am not offended,” he said.

  “However,” said Yvette. “You’re mine tonight.”

  I laughed. Chervil squeaked, but he didn’t seem at all offended. I decided I really liked him, and I told him that.

  “I am just so happy,” he said. “I love Earth. It may be another year, but we’re going to live here.”

  “I’m glad,” I said. “Audra, if Chervil wants my personal contact information, he may have it.”

  “And she may have mine,” Chervil said. “And Yvette, if she wants it.”

  “I do,” Yvette said.

  The distance to Bluebell stayed steady for a while, but then it began dropping, and it was evident they had stopped. We were practically on top of them, only 35 yards, when finally, we saw Bluebell, Azalea, and Cinder. They were exchanging shots with another team.

  “Same plan,” Audra whispered. “We assist the other team, then when they appear to claim their prize, we take them down, too. Careful shots, and only do enough to hinder them. Hit places they could be getting hit from the enemy fire.”

  We peeked up, aimed, and she said, “Three, two, one.”

  I got May’s firing arm. Audra and Yvette both scored hits. I stiffened Azalea’s neck. And then we ducked down.

  “Clever,” Chervil said quietly. “If I were alone, I would sneak much closer, but continue to hide.”

  Audra used her gun like a periscope. Then she straightened, fired once more, and ducked back down. She put her finger before her lips, then she used the gun again, watching.

  “It’s Oberon, Danette, and Prudence,” she said. “They’re watching. When I fire, get up and fire like crazy.” She watched on her gun, then she pulled the trigger. Yvette and I stood up and began firing.

  Audra had hit Oberon. I put three more shots into him. We took return fire, and then Prudence ducked into the forest. Oberon went down, and Danette dropped behind him, using him like a shield.

  “Suppressing fire,” Audra said. “Taisha, flank her, watch out for Prudence.”

  I began moving right and closing the distance. I put a tree between me and the fight, then closed to fifteen yards from Bluebell. I used the gun the way Audra had, then poked out. I had a profile on Prudence, and I shot low, then twice more. I shifted aim and put three slow shots into Danette, then back to Prudence. “I think I got them,” I called.

  My teammates advanced, all of us firing more shots into everyone.

  “That seems to work well,” Yvette declared. “Bluebell, you are now our prisoner. Who do we take from the other team?”

  “Oberon,” Audra said. “You may choose. We are taking you, leaving your mate defenseless.”

  “No!”

  “Or if you promise not to follow us, we’ll take Prudence instead.”

  Prudence offered a Tutor laugh.

  “I’m sorry, Prudence,” he said.

  “Prudence Tutor,” Yvette said. “You are now our prisoner.”

  We collected our two prisoners, and then the six of us headed south. If we wanted to keep them, we had to make it to one of the exits, and the south was closest.

  * * * *

  We got halfway there before pursuit came up behind us. We ducked into the brush, but we were taking fire from two directions. We all returned fire somewhat wildly, but we didn’t think we had a chance of hitting anything.

  “Look,” I said. “Leave me here with Prudence. I’ll hold them off as long as I can.”

  “No,” Yvette said.

  “There are at least two teams, and probably more on the way,” I said. “This is going to turn into chaos, but there’s no way we’re all getting out of here.”

  “You’re a self-sacrificial one, aren’t you?”

  “It’s hardly a sacrifice,” I said. “It’s a fun game, and I’m making friends. Yvette, are you staying for a while?”

  “Yes, a while.”

  “More games?”

  “Sure. You’re going into their tickle rack, you know.”

  “You’re making that up.”

  “She’s not,” Audra said. “Let’s go.”

  Four of them moved off. Once they had crawled away, I asked Prudence, “Are you willing to help them a little?”

  “I’m your prisoner and have to do what you tell me.”

  “Stand up and say, I’m a prisoner. I’m a prisoner. Keep your hands in the air.”

  “I bet they shoot me anyway.”

  “Probably, but they’re going to shoot me soon enough. We’re just drawing attention. Prudence, you don’t have to. I won’t make you.”

  “No, no.” She looked after the other four. “Why did you do this?”

  “Draw attention and I’ll explain as I can.”

  She stood, hands high in the air, and said, “I’m a prisoner! I’m a prisoner! Don’t shoot!”

  No one shot. Then I popped up, saw Cape, and fired at her, then ducked down.

  They lit the area up. Prudence squeaked and dropped to the ground beside me. “Are you all right?”

  “My arms are stiff again. You promised an explanation.”

  “I’m willing to let someone catch me. Or maybe whoever overruns us will take you instead, and I can back up my team then go hunting solo.”

  “You won’t last five minutes.”

  “Well, that’s my plan. Willing to help?”

  “Sure.” She stood up. “Stop shooting!”

  They shot her anyway. She dropped back down. “Well, that’s just unfriendly,” she complained. “Your turn next time.”

  I lifted the gun and fired wildly, then switched to use the other. I did that for a while, using my left hand until they hit my arm. “You know,” I yelled. “You really should worry about the other teams.”

  “We get you, Taisha. They want Prudence.”

  “That’s not how it works! You either get to take one of our prisoners, or you can take one of us.”

  Then I whispered to Prudence, “We’re going to crawl that way, but only as fast as we can do it without rustling the brush.”

  She nodded and began moving. I fired again then began following her. The firing concentrated on our old location.

  I figured Cape was tracking me, and hers was the left team, so we went right, which meant closer to the other team, whoever that was, but maybe we could get both teams tangled better. Bight would know I was moving and would move directly towards me, hopefully taking fire from the other team.

  Of course, if the other team was tracking Prudence, then they still knew where we were.

  There was rustling, but I couldn’t tell what was happening. We reached a tree, a small tree, but big enough. I set my hand on Prudence’s leg, then I worked my way up to stand behind the tree. I used the scope on the gun to look around. I saw movement, and no one clearly firing at me, so I moved into firing position, waited, and then took three shots before ducking around the tree.

  I heard complaining, not in English, and I looked at Prudence. “Who?” I asked quietly.

  “Martian,” she replied.

  I nodded, then ducked out and watched. Twenty seconds later, a huge close-in firefight broke out ten yards in front of me, and except for wild shots, none of it was aimed at me.

  Excellent.

  I waited, and when I got a sight on Martian green, I fired. She went down.

  It grew quiet. And then, “Taisha.” I didn’t respond. “Taisha, we know you’re still close. We have a deal to offer.”

  “It sounds like you won the firefight,” I said. “But I bet you took a lot o
f hits yourself. Agree to take a prisoner and retreat, and the three of us won’t come shoot you. We just want to take our prisoners with us.”

  “We know that Audra is not with you. We presume you stayed behind as a rearguard.”

  I looked at Prudence. “Who is that?”

  “Martian,” she said. That was only mild help.

  “What’s your status?” I called out.

  “Cape, Bight, and Skye are down,” said the voice.

  “You’re Brook? We haven’t talked much.”

  “Yes. One of my partners is largely disabled. Myself and my other partner are partially disabled, but we’re more than a match for one human. Give us Prudence and we’ll let you leave.”

  I looked down at Prudence then called, “What do you want with your boss?”

  “That is between her and us.”

  “Do you know what they want?”

  “No. Perhaps just the fun of catching me.”

  “Your choice. Try to leave with me, or accept their offer?”

  “I know you hope to be caught by someone not yet here.”

  “And not Cape and her husband.”

  “Those two are playing with you,” she said. “If you wish to let someone else try to catch you, you may give me to them.”

  “I wouldn’t mind taking you home to pamper me,” I told her.

  “But that would confuse both of us, and I think you have enough confusion.”

  “Yeah.”

  “You should trade me for your escape.”

  I nodded. “Cape,” I called out. “You might or might not be down, but you can answer me. Brook. I offer a truce. Will both teams honor one?”

  “Yes,” they both answered.

  “Are there other teams here?”

  “No,” Brook said.

  “If we’re jumped, we fight together to drive them off.”

  “Agreed,” Brook said. “But you’re coming to us. Can you find us?”

  “Yes.” I collected Prudence, and we followed her voice.

  * * * *

  We sunk down. They hadn’t lied. Cape, Bight, and Skye were down. I wasn’t sure how much longer, and I pointed that out.

  “We will honor a truce,” Cape said.

  Brook was with Sage, her Hobble husband, and Posey. “Well, well,” I said. “Your wife is long gone.”

  “I know. She made it to freedom a while ago. Who did she take?”