The Meant to Be Collection

by Claire Highton-Stevenson

  “Y-you’re leaving?” Lucy asked timidly as she stood and made her way toward Nicole.

  “Yes, we can’t stay here now, you saw what he is like,” Nicole answered as she continued to move around the cabin, picking things up and throwing them into bags.

  “You need to clean your face up,” Lucy suggested, anything to stop her packing. They couldn’t just leave. Not now, not when she had just gotten used to them. “Before you get an infection.”

  “No, it can wait.”

  “He won’t be back tonight, come and sit here,” she ordered gently, pulling out a chair and walking into the kitchen for a bowl of warm salty water. She needed to concentrate on something, anything rather than to think about losing them, because in the month they had been here, they had become important.

  “Do you have any cotton balls?” Lucy asked the room, not really speaking to anyone in particular.

  “Bathroom,” said Storm. “I’ll get some.” And off she ran.

  When Storm returned, Lucy set about cleaning Nicole’s mouth and nose. She dunked the cotton into the warm water and squeezed it to remove the excess, deftly sponging the area and cleaning the dried blood that had begun to congeal around the small cut to her lip. Nicole watched her, their eyes holding briefly as Lucy held the swab against her lip.

  When she finished, she found some ice and wrapped it in a towel for her eye. Nicole was reminded how gentle Lucy had been with Rain when she had carried her home just days before, and now, here she was again, such a contrast to the person that had been on the other side of that door a few minutes earlier.

  “You’re going to have a bruise, but you should be okay,” Lucy said. Her voice was quiet as she stared into onyx orbs that were still wet with unshed tears.

  “Thank you,” Nicole whispered, gulping down the urge to sob. “For everything, if you hadn’t turned up when you did I don’t know—” She didn’t finish the sentence, but Lucy understood. “You were so brave,” Nicole whispered in awe. Without thinking, she reached her hand up to touch Lucy’s face.

  “I’m not scared of him like you are,” Lucy said. She reached out and clasped Nicole’s hand, stopping her from touching her face any further, but as she brought their hands down, she kept them clasped together. Nicole looked sorry, and Lucy shook her head at the unspoken apology. It wasn’t necessary.

  “He will come back,” Nicole said, looking off to the distance, her memory stirring something unpleasant.

  The room was dark and she had gone to bed. He was out, another game night around Jim’s. It was cool in the room as she relaxed and began to drift off. Suddenly there was a weight on top of her. She couldn’t move; her arms and legs were pinned under the covers. In the moonlight, she could see his face, contorted as he raged incoherently about not having anything to eat. She tried to get out. Twisting, she saw the clock and the time. 4:04 a.m., that was when she felt the first punch. They rained down, one after the other into her torso, until finally he stopped and leaned down. Nose to nose he sneered, “I always come back.” To this day she never understood what had set him off.

  “That doesn’t mean you have to leave.” Lucy’s voice brought her back to the present, grounding her.

  “I can’t put the girls at risk. He hurt Storm already, and I can’t let that happen again, or to the other two.”

  “I know, she told me,” Lucy acknowledged sadly. She hated to think of any child being hurt like that, but especially Storm. She was a sweet kid.

  “She only told you about her arm, there is more. He is a very vicious man.”

  “All the more reason to stand up to him?” Lucy questioned, raising an eyebrow.

  “I don’t think I can.” Nicole spoke in a barely audible voice, her head lowered back to the Nicole of old.

  “Don’t fucking look at me unless I tell you you can, do you understand me?” His rage was so easily triggered. Another bad day at work, and she had looked at him the wrong way when he demanded to know why the dishes were still in the sink. “You’re not worthy of looking at me. You can’t even keep the house clean, you disgust me.” She barely felt the slap, barely. When he pinched her arm and pushed her to the floor, she felt that. She felt the kick to her stomach too.

  “Maybe not on your own, but with help?” Lucy said. She placed her palm on Nicole’s arm but withdrew it the second that Nicole flinched.

  “Who would help me? I’ve been in public places and he has hit me and not one person came to help.” She kept her gaze on the floor, but when Lucy next spoke she looked up.

  “I came!” Lucy countered, looking her in the eye and holding her stare.

  “Yes.” She nodded, “You did.” And she had never been more grateful for another human being in her life. She had spent so many years hiding the abuse from Paul that it was almost refreshing to say it out loud to someone who wasn’t making excuses or judging.

  “And he left, not me, I stayed, I am still here,” Lucy insisted as she pointed to herself.

  “Why?”

  “Why what?”

  “Why did you come? Stay? You don’t speak to people, you keep yourself to yourself and yet…”

  “I came?”

  “Yes, why?”

  “I don’t know,” Lucy said honestly, and they both smiled at one another. “I just – your kids they – well they have – they just get me!” she chuckled, finally able to admit how much she enjoyed being around them.

  The children were in their rooms packing their clothes and toys like they had been told to, but Storm had gone to check on her mother. Seeing her speaking with Lucy, she tried not to eavesdrop, but she couldn’t help it. She heard Lucy and hoped she could persuade her mother not to leave. Storm liked it here. She liked her time with Lucy and the lake and her new friends at school. She liked how her mom looked when she spoke to Lucy. She was happier, they all were. She liked how she didn’t get locked in a cupboard for asking questions, or smacked for being in the way when all she was doing was watching the TV. She liked it now that she didn’t have to hear her mother screaming as he beat her. Everything was better here.

  Nicole took a deep breath. “Ya know, I think that’s the first time you’ve smiled at me.”

  “I think it’s the first time I’ve smiled at an adult in a long time,” Lucy admitted, now unable to stop smiling. “Kinda hurts my cheeks.”

  “You should do it more often, you have a beautiful smile.” Nicole felt herself blush, and she looked away quickly. She couldn’t understand what was going on with her lately. She had just left a marriage; she was on the run from him and about to flee once more. Getting interested in someone else at this point was just futile.

  “Maybe I will, it will be a shame you won’t be around to see it though,” Lucy said matter-of-factly. There was a pause while they both took each other in, their eyes locking again for just a moment longer than was necessary. Lucy recognised it for what it was: an attraction. “I should get out of your hair and leave you to pack.” Standing as she spoke, Lucy looked towards the bedroom door where a young girl stood looking as though she was going to cry. Nicole’s smile dropped, and she too looked in the direction Lucy was currently staring.

  “I wish I could be stronger for them, protect them and give them the life that allows them to just be kids,” she confided quietly, not wanting Storm to overhear. She had already had enough to deal with in her young life.

  “You can, you don’t have to leave,” Lucy maintained, training her line of sight back on Nicole.

  “Oh God, I wish you could understand,” Nicole hit back, brushing a hand through her hair and raising her face to the ceiling, looking for any kind of celestial help in making Lucy understand just how frightened she was.

  “I do, I understand what it’s like to run away from your life and never look back, never talk about it, and all you can do is think about it. I understand,” Lucy argued, raising her voice a little. “I understand fear, of thinking you’re going to die, of wishing you did die. How it would be easier not
to have to deal with it? You’re not alone in that!” Lucy spoke with an openness she hadn’t felt in a long time, and she wondered what it was about this family that kept on pulling her from the depths of her own soul back into the world.

  “How can you? Have you ever had an abusive husband? Have you ever lost everything you had?” Nicole threw at her.

  Lucy’s heart grew heavy as she contemplated those questions, reminded instantly of why she didn’t do this, why she kept herself to herself. Because it hurt when you lost everything.

  It was a hot day. The breeze blew through the trees and caressed her cheek like her lover's palm had always done, and yet, she stood alone, balanced on a crutch as her parents looked on from a distance. The marble headstone was perfectly smooth and shining until the first letter was carved into it, forever marking it as the place she lost everything.

  “No, no I’ve never had an abusive partner.” She answered almost inaudibly, closing her eyes and feeling her head spin. She had to take a deep breath to get her thoughts back under control. Images of Nicky flooded her mind and swirled around with images of the girls playing by the lake. She was losing everything, again.

  “Then you can’t possibly know what this is like, to have everything taken from you.”

  “I didn’t say that.” It was a whisper, a faint acknowledgment of something she didn’t want to think about now.

  “What?” Nicole answered. Finally looking at her, she could see that Lucy was crying.

  “I have to go, take care of the kids,” she urged before rushing out of the cabin.

  Chapter Ten

  On a football field, Paul Nixon was a star. As the quarterback of the team, it was his job to lead. He gave the orders and they followed his plays and that was how he liked it. He was in charge and in control of everything, including his wife. He dominated everything, and in his mind, he owned everything, including her, and she was his to do with as he pleased.

  From the moment they married, he had made it clear exactly what her place was in his life, and at times he had been disappointed in her behaviour and had had to put her right. She was a beautiful woman; it was one of the reasons he had chosen her as his wife, and up until a few days ago he had rarely hit her face with more than a slap. He didn’t want to have to look at something that wasn’t beautiful, but she had needed to be taught a lesson. You did not walk away from Paul Nixon. And if you thought you could then you were going to be taught a very harsh lesson in life.

  On the morning that they left, she had deceived him. He had been led to believe that she had a doctor’s appointment with the twins, something she knew full well was her job to do. So, she had leeway on her movements that day. She had access to the car, and it had enough fuel in it for the return trip. He had given her enough cash to pay for the appointment, and she was required to call him on the hour, every hour. And he was pissed about the money; he needed that. He had debts to pay. His bookie was not a nice guy.

  He left for work at 8:30 a.m. like he did every morning. Her appointment was at 10 a.m., and she would need to leave at 9.30 a.m. to be sure to park and arrive on time. But what she did was nothing of the sort. He had no idea what she really had planned, because if he had, then she would never have left the house again.

  ~E&F~

  When she woke that morning, she knew they had to go, and all the plans she had been putting into action for weeks now came to fruition. The night before he had been the worst he had ever been, done things he had never done before, things she wouldn’t allow to happen to her again or, god forbid, to Storm. She took the girls under the pretence of dropping Storm at school before heading to the clinic, but she did nothing of the sort.

  “Girls, hurry up and get in the car,” she yelled back down the hallway. The car was parked in the garage and she had the engine running. The twins came running, as usual, coats buttoned up wrong and shoelaces untied, but they clambered into the back and buckled themselves into their booster seats. “Storm, come on!” she called once more to her older daughter.

  She lifted the trunk and from behind a large tool cabinet, she pulled out a bag, one of those material sports bags. She tossed it in the trunk before moving quickly to the other side of the room and doing the same from behind a bin. Her heart was racing. Her ribs were aching, but she had to do this. “Storm, now!” she called once more. Her daughter strolled in through the door as she pulled down a cardboard box from a shelf.

  “Mom?” Storm was worried. She had seen her mother on many mornings frantically cleaning with bruises to her arms, but this was different.

  Two bags and a box; that was all she had, all they had. Two sets of clothing each, plus the ones they were already wearing. She had managed to sneak three books for Storm and a couple of toys for the twins and hide them in the box. Her make-up, perfume and jewellery, what was left of it, was hidden inside her handbag, along with birth certificates and other paperwork she might need. The photograph of her parents and one of the three girls were the only things of her own that she took with her.

  “What’s all that?” Storm asked, watching as her mother moved around the car erratically.

  “Just get in the car Storm, we need to go…now.” Sensing that something big was happening, she did as she was asked and climbed into the back seat between her sisters. She looked in the mirror towards her mom and felt her heart swell with pride. They were escaping.

  “Where are we going to go, Mom?” Nicole didn’t answer. Instead, she ran back into the house and grabbed the box of small change where Paul had been collecting quarters and dimes. Every little bit would help!

  When she climbed back into the car, Storm asked her again. “Where are we going, Mom?” She knew what it looked like, but she couldn’t get her hopes up just yet.

  Nicole pulled the vehicle out of the garage and onto the street, nice and slow. She would do nothing to draw attention to them. “I don’t know sweetheart, I don’t know.”

  She drove north, stopping only to make a call at 10 a.m. She lied to him and made out that the doctor was running late. He bought it, and she breathed a sigh of relief before tossing her phone out of the window into the hedgerow. Two hundred miles later and they were skirting the edge of Oklahoma. There she found a second-hand car dealer. She swapped out the almost brand-new SUV for a smaller family car, making some money on the deal. Probably not as much as she could have done, but she didn’t care. The guy was willing to do the deal without the usual holdup for paperwork.

  It was another one hundred and fifty miles before she pulled into a drive through and ordered burgers, fries, and milkshakes. The kids were beside themselves with excitement; this was something they were never allowed to have at home.

  ~E&F~

  When she failed to call in at midday, Paul called her. It rang and rang and he assumed, stupidly, that she must be in with the doctor. But by 1 pm when she hadn’t called in, he was livid and went straight home to find an empty house. Nothing was out of place, but something was off. He called the local sheriff to check for accidents that might have occurred, but there had been none reported. At 2 pm he made a call and she was being looked for.

  ~E&F~

  She had a 5-hour head start. She had hoped he would assume she would head south or east, back towards where she came from. She was right.

  Eight hours had passed as she headed west on I-40. She was getting tired, running on adrenaline. The twins didn’t know what was happening, so they had been bored and acting up, but now they had finally fallen asleep, giving Nicole some breathing space. They all needed a rest. She was uncomfortable sitting for such a long period of time.

  “Mom, do you think he will come looking for us?” Storm asked timidly, already knowing the answer would be yes. Her father was a monster.

  “Yes baby, I think he will and that’s why we have to be super smart and keep moving. You understand?” Storm nodded. “I am going to keep driving until we’re as far away as we can be and then, we will find somewhere we can get some sleep, alright
?”

  She didn’t stop until it was dark. Pulling off of the highway just outside of Flagstaff, she found them a small motel in the middle of nowhere. She booked them a room at the back of the block and as quickly as she could, she moved the sleeping children inside and into bed.

  “Storm? I need to go and find a store. I need you to be a big girl and stay here with the girls. Okay?”

  “Sure.”

  “I won’t be long. I’ll get us some dinner and breakfast for the morning,” she whispered gently, not wanting to wake the girls. “Don’t open the door to anyone, okay, baby?”

  Storm nodded as her eyes filled with tears and her chin began to tremble. “Mommy.” She ran to Nicole and threw her arms around her waist. She knew she needed to be brave, but she didn’t feel that way. What if he found them?

  “It’s alright, don’t cry. We’re safe here, Storm. I’ll be 20 minutes max.” She guided the miniature version of herself over to a chair and flicked the small TV on. “By the time this show finishes, I’ll be back.” Her lips pressed a kiss to Storms hair. “Don’t open the door,” she reiterated.

  It broke her heart to walk out of that room, hearing the whimpers as Storm cried gently to herself. Scared. She had been scared almost her whole tiny life, and that was why Nicole had to do this. They needed to eat, they needed toiletries and supplies for the following day, because she had no intention of stopping for anything longer than bathroom breaks and coffee.

  That night had been the longest of her life, and she had had some awful nights previously during her marriage to Paul Nixon. They had all slept together in the queen-sized bed, something Paul would never have allowed – the children had their own rooms for a reason. He didn’t want a child in the way when he wanted to have his way with her.

  Nicole explained to the twins that it was an adventure that they were on and that it was going to be fun to hide and pretend to be someone else. She told them all that their new name would be Granger.