The Meant to Be Collection

by Claire Highton-Stevenson

  Every Christmas Eve was spent with the house full of drunken ex-football players and other members of the community falling about in a stupor. The children would be allowed down for half an hour as he paraded them around. His need to be seen as the perfect father made Nicole feel sick, but she would plaster on the smile and go along with it anyway; anything for a peaceful night.

  Christmas morning and the girls would have to stay in their rooms until he had fixed his hangover. If she had been lucky enough to avoid his mood swing, then she would get up and make his breakfast before finally ushering the girls into the living room to unwrap presents. They would have one each from their parents and a handful from Santa Claus, all the while he would strut around taking happy family snaps to show the world how wonderful his life was. Nicole hated every second of it as she watched their little eyes light up at the prospect of more presents, only to discover they were all fake. But not this year. She already knew that this year would be so very different.

  “And then when we get back, these three terrors are going to decorate it while I give you a nice back rub,” Lucy was saying, before she then leaned in close enough so that only Nicole could hear and whispered, “and when we go to bed I am going to spend a lot of time relaxing you further.”

  “That sounds, delightful!” Nicole spoke casually. “I can’t wait.”

  ~E&F~

  Arriving back at the cabin, the first thing that hit Nicole was the smell. It smelt like Christmas. Lucy was baking cookies with cinnamon. The giant spruce stood grandly in the living room and gave off a piney aroma that inundated the senses. Three children set about decorating it with every piece of tinsel and bauble Lucy could find. It was lop-sided and messy, pieces of tinsel hung loosely. Nicole moved towards it and began to move baubles, tidying it up.

  Lucy watched for a moment. At first, she had just assumed that Nicole wanted to be involved, but as she observed her, she could see a frustration developing, and something else: fear. She tried to think, what was causing her such emotional turmoil. Slowly, the girls came to a halt and stood back, all eyes on their mother.

  “Nic?”

  “It’s not right.” Nicole spoke but didn’t stop her task of aligning each bauble symmetrically, shifting tinsel into place so that it was tidy.

  “Babe, it’s a tree…it doesn’t have to be right.” Lucy’s eyes narrowed at her. She felt a tugging on her sleeve and looked down to find Storm looking up at her.

  “Daddy gets mad if the tree doesn’t look perfect.”

  “Oh…” Lucy looked towards Nicole once more and then turned back to Storm, bending down to her. “Can you do me a favour, take the girls into their room and play with them while I help Mummy?”

  Storm nodded and took her sisters by the hand, leading them away from the frantic scene that was now taking place as Nicole began to cry and fluster. When the girls were safely ensconced within their room, Lucy moved across to Nicole. She reached out slowly and covered Nicole’s hand with her own. She felt her flinch slightly, but then relax as Lucy began to speak.

  “We can decorate this tree any way you want it done.” She edged closer until she was just behind her, left hands together holding a silver bell bauble, her right hand resting gently on Nicole’s waist. “If you want to have the perfect tree, if that’s what makes you feel comfortable, then that’s what we will do…” She kissed the side of her head. “But, we don’t have to do that, you don’t have to do that. We can give the girls any kind of Christmas that you want to…messy, noisy and fun.” She waited.

  “Oh God,” Nicole cried, suddenly aware of what she was doing. Her hand dropped and she spun around to look at Lucy. She studied her face with her eyes, her fingers tracing the framework of her face. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why…” She looked around for the girls.

  “Storm took them all to their room while we talked,” Lucy explained quickly. The last thing she wanted now was a freak-out because she didn’t know where the girls were.

  Nicole nodded her understanding. “It had to be so perfect, ya know, or else…”

  “I know…we’re making new memories now though, right?” Lucy smiled and led her to the couch. “So, why don’t you put ya feet up, I’ll get you a mug of hot chocolate and you can watch as the girls go crazy and make that the best, messiest Christmas tree the world has ever seen?”

  “Yes, I like that idea.”

  Lucy leant forward and kissed her gently. “Right, hot chocolate coming up!”

  ~E&F~

  Nicole sat quietly with her feet raised for the rest of the afternoon, watching on while Lucy helped lift the twins up one by one so they could add toys and baubles and other shiny Christmas decorations to the tree. With each one that found its home they would clap and cheer. Lucy’s heart melted even more. This was their first Christmas as a family, and it was already the best she could have wished for. She glanced across at Nicole and found her equally as happy. A smile beamed across the room at them, the earlier moment of panic almost forgotten.

  Nicole snapped pictures on her phone as they worked, constantly recording new memories to add to the album Lucy had brought her during the summer.

  “Okay girls, let’s take a break,” Lucy said. “We can have hot chocolate and marshmallows, yeah?”

  Four cries of “yes!” came back to her as she made her way into the kitchen to warm some milk.

  Storm flopped down on the couch next to her mother. Her dark hair was tied up into a messy ponytail and her glasses had a small piece of pink tinsel stuck in the arm, but she made no attempt to move it, so Nicole left it in place. “Mommy?”

  “Yes, darling?”

  “I have a question.” She gazed down at the floor until Nicole placed a soft fingertip beneath her chin and tilted her head so they were facing one another.

  “What is it? You know you can ask me anything.”

  “Yes…I know.” She took a deep breath before asking. “Is it ok if I call Lucy Mama?” She spoke quietly but her voice was confident.

  “If you want to, is that what you want to call her?” Storm’s question hadn’t surprised her in the least; she could see how important Lucy was to her eldest daughter, how they had bonded and become like mother and daughter over the summer.

  She nodded furiously, “Yes, I love her like I love you. I don’t love Daddy and you said he couldn’t be our parent anymore so, that means there’s a vacancy.” She grinned and pushed her glasses back up her nose.

  “I think that Lucy would like that Storm, why don’t you ask her?”

  She jumped up instantly and hugged her mom before running off to find Lucy.

  In the kitchen, Lucy was finishing off five mugs of hot chocolate. She sprayed cream on the top of three of them and then added mini marshmallows until they covered the drink and then, to top it all off, she sprinkled hundreds and thousands. There was a little tiny cough from her right and when she turned, she found Storm standing there patiently.

  “Alright, kiddo?”

  “Lucy, can I ask you a question?” she said, walking a little closer. Lucy noticed that Nicole had followed silently and was holding her phone up to capture something on the video or camera. She asked silently with her eyes, but Nicole just shook her head, smiling. This was Storm’s moment.

  “Of course, what’s up sweetheart?” She glanced up at Nicole once more. Her lover was grinning like a Cheshire cat, but she held the phone steady.

  “Can I call you Mama?” the small voice said. She was looking up at her with wide eyes as she waited for Lucy to answer her. Lucy thought back to the twins’ party when Storm had inadvertently called her Mama before. She remembered how she liked hearing it, but actually being asked by an almost 9-year-old if they could think of you as their parent was something she would never forget. She felt herself choke up with emotion. Kneeling down next to Storm, she wrapped her arms around her, kissing her cheek.

  “I would be honoured to have you call me Mama. You and your sisters, your mum and the baby are the most
precious things on this Earth to me.”

  “I know.” And she hugged Lucy again, harder this time. Looking up, Lucy noticed Nicole was crying too.

  “Happy tears.” She laughed.

  “Right, hot chocolate then, daughter of mine?” Lucy said, laughing as she stood and watched Storm issue that smile that matched her mother’s.

  Chapter Forty-Eight

  With just a week left until Christmas arrived, the cabin was a hive of activity as Lucy and Nicole ran around trying to make sure they had everything ready. To be fair, Nicole merely waddled around and spent most of her time organising what Lucy would need to do next, which Lucy was fine with. She enjoyed the whole experience that having children brought to Yuletide. It was exciting to see those three small faces light up every time Santa was mentioned or a new present arrived under the tree.

  Cinnamon filled the air as Lucy pulled out a tray of rolls from the oven to be eaten later. She placed them down on the cooling rack and pinched a piece off to taste.

  “So, we need to go into town and get some last-minute things I ordered,” Nicole said quietly as she sidled up beside her and picked off a piece for herself. She didn’t want the girls overhearing that there were more presents coming their way.

  “Ok, let’s drop the girls off with Rita and then we can go into town and pick those up.”

  Lucy rounded up the girls, pulling on coats and hats and scarves until they were all wrapped up and ready to go. She loaded them into the car and hit the play button on the CD player. The car was instantly filled with Christmas carols while the girls all sung along in the back seat.

  Lucy drove at a leisurely speed along the road. They were in no hurry; it was the holidays, and the roads clear of traffic. It had been snowing quite heavily over the past few days, and the trees were drooping under the weight of it all. The lakes were frozen around the edges, but the roads were pretty clear of ice. Lucy glanced back at the girls via the rear-view mirror and smiled. It was such a wonderful time of year.

  Following the road around bend after bend with little effort, Lucy was completely relaxed as they began a short descent down a reasonably straight part of the road. She applied the brakes and slowed gently as they approached a side road.

  It was sudden. The impact of the truck slamming into the side of the car spun them around and around as the tyres lost traction with the road. It was disorienting; the kids were screaming. Nicole! The big red truck had hit Nicole’s side of the car. The vehicle slid towards the bank and in slow motion began to slide down the hillside sideways. It was surreal. Lucy’s mind flashed between now and all those years ago on the bus. Branches splintered and smashed into the car. The windscreen cracked and a tyre burst as it hit a rock but kept sliding on its downward decent until it finally came to rest against a giant tree trunk.

  And then there was blackness.

  ~E&F~

  Lucy could feel something hitting her face, gently tapping on her skin. She could hear her name being called over and over. Someone was crying. It was cold, and there was a feeling that scared her. It was like before.

  She forced her eyes to flutter open, and it took a moment to clear her head and remember. The car, the truck, kids, Nicole, the baby.

  “No, no, no.” She sat upright and felt her chest tighten with pain and emotion. The tapping was coming from the tiny hands of Summer. She had managed to wriggle free from her car seat and climb over to sit on Lucy’s lap. Her blonde hair was hanging loosely around her face because her hat had come off as she had scrabbled between the front seats.

  “Lucy, wake up. Mommy is asleep.” She was scared and crying. Lucy wiped away her tears gently.

  “It’s ok, I’m awake.” She kissed her cheek and then looked around the car. The girls were all staring at her expectantly. They looked okay; frightened, but not injured.

  “Are you all okay?” she asked them, and all three of them nodded back. “Good. Okay Summer, climb back over with your sisters so I can...” Before she finished speaking Summer was clambering over the back seat. Nicole was facing away from her and she didn’t want to think about the possibilities, but they were there in her head. Memories of another time, another accident. She pushed them away; she had to. They needed her now. Three frightened little girls. “Okay, now huddle together and stay warm while I check on Mummy.” They all nodded again. Lucy tried to push her door open, but it was stuck. The tree was blocking it from the other side. She tried the window, and thankfully it slid down and opened fully for her to climb out. It was difficult, as they were on a steep gradient and she couldn’t bend her leg easily. If it hadn’t been for the tree then they would have kept on going, gathering speed until they crashed to the road below, but it meant she could lean against it as she shuffled out.

  The ground was slippery under her feet. Snow was deeper here, and underneath it was ice. She carefully inched her way around the front of the car, slipping a couple of times. As she reached Nicole’s door she could see it was crushed; she had taken the impact. Grabbing the handle, Lucy tried to open it, but it was wedged. Nicole was unconscious, blood trickling down her face. Thinking on her feet, Lucy moved as fast as she could back around the car and opened the trunk. She searched around before her hand found what she was looking for: the tyre iron. The kids watched her every move. Ramming the metal rod into a small gap where the lock was, she wrenched hard and pried the door open.

  “No. No. No,” she whispered, “Not again, not again.” She touched Nicole’s face and heard her whimper. “Thank God.” Lucy bent into the car and kissed Nicole’s forehead. “Don’t leave me.” She closed her eyes. “I can’t lose you too.”

  Rustling through her pockets for her phone, she checked for a signal. Nothing. “Shit, shit, shit,” she muttered as she twisted around to look back up the bank. At the top, she could see the truck that had hit them. The front end of it was a wreck. Standing beside it was a man, a man she recognised.

  “Should never have fucked with me,” he shouted down at her. “What did you think? That I’d just let her walk away?” He sneered and wiped his nose with the back of his hand. “Next time, you won’t be so lucky.” He watched her for a moment more before calmly walking back to the truck and leaning against it. Paul Nixon.

  She looked at the girls’ faces, then back at Nicole. She needed to be where he was. She needed to call the emergency services. Lucy Owen wasn’t an angry person. She didn’t view the world through eyes of hate, but right now, she was ready to kill.

  “Okay, I am going to climb up there and get a signal. I need you to stay here and keep talking to Mummy, alright? Can you do that?” She tried to smile and knew it was more a grimace than anything else, but it would have to do. “I’ll be right back.” She didn’t wait for a reply from them. Turning, she started to climb. The pain in her leg barely registered as she took in the form of the man that nonchalantly leant against his truck. She had one thought and one thought only: get to the top and do whatever it took to make the call for help. He wasn’t watching her now. He seemed more interested in his own phone. The shrill sound of it ringing had him scrambling to pull it out of his pocket. She could hear his voice, a little panicked. She kept climbing. She stumbled a couple of times and grabbed a hold of branches to heave herself up. He was out of view now; she heard the truck door slam shut.

  “Please, just leave,” she mumbled to herself as she took another step forward. Looking up, she could see she was just feet from the top. She pulled her phone out and checked. No signal. If Paul had one though, then she knew she needed to get up there. She pushed the phone safely back into her pocket and was relieved when she heard the sound of an engine starting up. She could hear the sound of wheels turning slowly on tarmac. There were just a few feet left, so with all the effort she could muster, she scrambled up there. As she pulled herself to her feet, she looked up along the road. Nothing to the right, but as she swivelled to look the other way, she heard it. The engine revving. She took a step forward and gripped her leg as pain sh
ot through the joint. And then she saw it: the wrecked front end of the truck hurtling towards her.

  “Shit.” She barely had time to think, instinctively side-stepping, and then, in a last-ditch effort to safe herself, she threw herself sideways. The last thing she saw was his maniacal face screaming obscenities at her. Then there was fear, absolute fear as he realised: he had missed her, and now he couldn’t stop. The brakes failed and a blur of red hurtled past her over the side verge.

  Lucy sat up and scrambled to the edge. She watched in horror, and relief, as the vehicle gathered speed, passing by her own car, before it then hit a rock or a tree stump and flipped, tumbling twice before coming to a rest on the road below. There was no movement. If he survived that then he was hurt, but right now, she didn’t care too much. She grabbed her phone and thanked the heavens that she finally had a signal.

  With the emergency services on their way, Lucy scrabbled back down the bank. She was cold and her hands were numb as she grabbed hold of rocks and branches to help her. It took time. Her urge to move faster was only eclipsed by the thought of hurting herself. Then she would be no use to anyone, so she took the time it needed, but eventually, she made it back to them. Nicole was drowsy, but she seemed at least to be awake.

  “Okay girls, I need you to be brave now and to do everything I tell you to,” Lucy said. They nodded, wide-eyed and fearful. She yanked the back door open. “Alright, I want you all to climb out of the car on this side and start climbing back up the bank. When you get to the top you wait for me, okay? You don’t walk into the road or do anything other than wait for me!”

  “What about Mommy?” asked Rain, as tears fell down her cold, red cheeks.