'Tis the Season: A Collection of Mimi's Christmas Books

by Mimi Barbour

  Why did life have to be so tough? Just when she thought her world might be getting better… Wham!

  Shying away from the reason for her suffering, Belle focused on the recent good stuff. Like reading those notes that Valerie sent about the Celiac symptoms and the treatment that turned out to be so simple. Everything she’d read indicated that as long as she ate the right foods, her stomach troubles would improve, and within a short period of time. All her health worries could turn out to be a thing of the past.

  What a relief. She’d be here to watch her daughter grow up and get married. A nightmare she’d lived with when she thought her sickness might be cancer or some other horrible death sentence.

  Then not having to deal with Jack all by herself had lightened her load immensely. Knowing Jesse was covering her back, caring about Yaya’s and her safety had made the whole ordeal not so scary or intolerable.

  Knowing Jack when everyone liked him, when he’d first left to go to Iraq, helped her somewhat to forgive his recent behavior—not tolerate it but at least try to understand He needed help. No… he needed to help himself. Overwhelmed by it all, she shied away from those images.

  Finally the thoughts she’d tried to keep at bay flooded in, and this time they wouldn’t be shut off.

  Jesse!

  The man who’d attracted her from the first moment he’d lifted her in his arms and held her against the warmth and strength of his solidness. If she could have left her life and stayed there forever, she’d have been tempted to slide inside him and just let the world go by.

  Consumed by guilt from her random thoughts, she knew she’d never take the easy road, or leave her precious baby. As a mom, her first responsibility was to the daughter she adored more than anyone else in the world. No one had ever come close to being on the same level of importance.

  Until now.

  At the beginning, when she’d sensed an attraction growing between her and Jesse, she had to admit to being totally unnerved. Especially once Kim had told her about Mari. The idea of an unrequited affair with a childhood sweetheart as competition freaked her out. How could she compare? And now this!

  Sickly, skinny, a daughter to be responsible for, all those entanglements would throw any man off… Jesse included. No wonder the guy got rattled.

  Hold it! Don’t give the jerk any excuses. His behavior stunk. Period!

  Shivers worked their way all over her body and made her cling tighter to her resolve not to weaken. Not to let the pain take over. And certainly not to let her heart break.

  She sniffed and reached for the toilet paper hanging on the roll next to her face. Unwinding a long piece, she blew her nose and wiped her face.

  Enough!

  Then she stood up and finished undressing so she could slip into her flannel pajama bottoms and matching short t-shirt. The pants had to be tied tightly so they wouldn’t slip off. Next she ripped the brush through her hair, scrubbed the streaks from her face and leaned in to brush her teeth.

  When the new tears appeared, she leaned forward to stare at herself in the mirror. Stop it! That man isn’t worth your misery.

  He’d been the fool, not her. He was the one living in the past. And he wouldn’t get another chance to play with her again. From now on, they would be strictly roommates, maybe friends, but never again would she trust him with her most tender emotions.

  Never again!

  Chapter Fifteen

  The next morning, Belle blessed Layla’s joy at being with her two favorite adults. It helped to dispel the strained atmosphere.

  Jesse tried to catch her eyes a few times but she refused to let it happen. When he tried the throat clearing, she almost gave in but couldn’t. Finally he spoke to her back.

  “Belle, I don’t know what happened. I’m so sorry—”

  She shrugged, and using a flippant voice, she let him off the hook. “Whatever. No biggie.” Then she pushed past his reaching hands to get back to the stove and safety. Darned if she’d make it easy for him to embarrass her again.

  The despondency on his face gave her a moment’s reflection but common sense kicked in. Remembering her resolution from her sleepless night before, she shrugged and continued with breakfast preparations for her and Yaya.

  However, not having a vindictive bone in her body, she broke down, ended her silent treatment that had only survived a short while and asked, “I’m cooking a mushroom omelet for us, would you like some?” When he didn’t reply, she turned his way and waited.

  After he sneezed a number of times and Yaya happily yelled from her high chair, “Bless you,” Belle gave in and asked, “Have you got a cold?”

  “No. It’s those darn cats and the endless fur flying everywhere. Each time I put them off the bed, they yowled and jumped back on. When I decided enough was enough, I hauled them out and shut the door. I’m surprised their caterwauling didn’t wake you and Layla. Only way to get them to shut up was let them return. Finally, I gave them the bed and slept on Kim’s chaise lounge.”

  It surprised Belle when a jolt of glee caught her unaware. Since she’d helped Kim carry that particular piece of ornate furniture from her van to the apartment, Belle knew that the sofa was only about five feet long. Jesse’s frame had to be at least six-two. Surprisingly, her mood improved. Guess if she had to have an unsettled night, it felt kinda nice to know he’d suffered also.

  “Should’ve moved to the couch.”

  “Tried,” he grumbled. “The smell of your perfume wouldn’t let me relax.”

  Happier now, she repeated her offer. “Omelet?”

  “Yes, ma’am.” The droll tone in the words provided an added thrill.

  Sitting together at the table a few minutes later, Jesse outlined some plans he’d made for the day. His voice was tentative and she knew why. “I thought I could take you to the shops and then if you like, we could go for lunch.” He watched to see her reaction.

  Belle knew there was no way she could stand being in his company for the next few hours.

  “Sorry, Jesse. Yaya and I are going shopping alone today.”

  His gaze dropped to his plate. Red colored his cheeks. Not wanting to embarrass him any worse, she piled eggs and mushrooms on her fork and shoveled it in.

  Her need for food had grown now that she knew exactly what she should and shouldn’t eat. Because of Jesse, she could at least feed one hunger.

  Layla piped up just as the silence stretched past endurance. “Can I go and visit Santa?”

  Belle saw Jesse’s head swivel toward her and she had the grace to blush for having left the visit so late. “I didn’t take her because—”

  He cut her off. “Of course not. Darned impossible when you could barely walk?” His eyes softened. “Look at you now.”

  “I know. Isn’t it a miracle? As soon as I stopped eating anything with gluten in it, I could feel my strength returning. My stomach stopped rebelling and the food stayed where it belonged.”

  Belle beamed his way, unable to stop from sharing her happiness at how much better she felt.

  “That’s really great.” He laid his knife and fork across his full plate and with his elbows on each side of the dish, he threaded his fingers as a platform for his chin. “Belle, it was wrong for me to take for granted that we’d spend the day together. But I could drive you girls and drop you off if you like.” If eyes could apologize, his were doing a great job. The bags under his lashes were proof of his sleepless night and his probing stare communicated sincere regret.

  Oh no! Didn’t he get it? She wanted to get away from any chance of making a fool out of herself. Spending any amount of time in his company would stretch her acting skills to the limit. “I don’t think that would be a good idea. We like taking the bus, don’t we kiddo?” Belle refused to keep looking at him. She would not back down even though she felt his silent urging.

  Yaya looked up, strawberry jam evident on her cheeks and a milk ring around her lips. The sweetness in her grin melted some of Belle’s firm resolve. �
��Yes, Mama.”

  Belle glanced over and noticed that her mischievous daughter’s attention had been focused on the puppy she was feeding her toast to under the table. Rather than reprimanding her, she looked away. After all, even she had a difficult time ignoring Sam’s begging eyes.

  Another silence reigned, less stressful but still uncomfortable. When she thought she’d scream from the pressure, he said. “A girl’s trip, I get it. I guess I could meet up with you later and take you for lunch?”

  “Yay!” Layla reached out her arms so he would help her down from her chair; except she wouldn’t let him go when he went to set her on the floor. Her tiny arms clung to his neck and she smooched his cheek. “I love you, Jesse”

  Everything stopped.

  Belle’s heart lurched, fluttering so hard she thought it might beat itself right out of her chest. Focusing through the film in her eyes was difficult but once she could finally see straight, she watched Jesse’s reaction.

  He hugged her little girl back, clearly careful not to hurt the little sprite. Then, his voice husky with emotion, he answered. “And I love you, sunshine.”

  “Do you love my mommy too, Jesse?”

  Oh my God! Belle cut in before he could reply. “Time to get your teeth brushed, young lady. We need to get ourselves on the next bus. If we leave too late, the stores will be even more packed.”

  Wriggling so Jesse would have to let her go, Layla shrieked with delight. “I’ll beat you, Mommy. I’m weally a fast bwusher!”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Belle hustled Yaya onto the city bus travelling downtown and pushed all memories of Jesse’s downcast expression from her mind. Today, her health had improved so much that she had energy to spare. Which she’d need, ushering a three-year-old dynamo around the busy stores during her favorite time of the year.

  Everywhere she looked, houses were decorated with fancy icicle lights and blow-up Santa’s and even illuminating reindeer that when dark, would glow against the night sky.

  Belle pointed to a particularly older home and said. “Yaya, look at all the green ivy travelling along the red brick on the wall just there. The old house is beautiful decorated with such vivid colors, isn’t it?”

  “Yes, Mama. I like it.”

  “Look here, see the blow-up Santa on the lawn? He looks perfect with the bit of snow the kids have packed around him.”

  “I’m going to see the real Santa today, aren’t I?”

  Belle grinned. “Not the real Santa, Yaya. Remember mommy explained how the real Santa has helpers?”

  “Uh huh. But I’m going to see a real helper, right?”

  “Right! Hey little girl, did you see the pink and purple flowers still growing in that yard? Even surrounded with the snow, they’ve pushed themselves through to get to the sun.”

  “They’re vewy pretty.”

  A few more houses passed by until Yaya turned to her, her face lit with interest. “Look at those flowers, Mama. How come they’re so yellow?” Yaya pointed to an arrangement of fake fall flowers one intrepid gardener had arranged in a huge pot by to sit at their front gate.

  Belle hugged the child on her lap and answered with a chuckle warming her voice. “They’re yellow because they’re sunflowers.”

  “I like them.”

  Belle nodded and cuddled to get Yaya’s attention. “Baby, the world is so beautiful. If you look close, you’ll see it everywhere. There’s bad, but the good is so much bigger and better.”

  Soon, Belle set Yaya on the floor and led her to the exit of the bus, noticing the warm smiles from many of the other passengers. It surprised her at how good their approval made her feel.

  Fighting their way to the platform where Santa sat, surrounded by excited and in some cases weepy children, Belle wondered if this had been such a good idea.

  The jolly fat man dressed in red with a beard that looked to be natural rested on a throne full of red velvet, wrapped gifts and Christmas all around.

  Belle followed the rules of etiquette and ushered her big-eyed baby into line. “We have to wait for a little while, honey. The other children were here before us. It shouldn’t take too long.”

  A frazzled mother with two rough-looking pre-school boys swivelled to speak. “We’ve been here for almost an hour already. This Santa is a slow one.”

  Belle nodded and carried on a conversation with her new friend about Christmas, children and shopping while the two small males took it upon themselves to entertain Yaya. The time passed pleasantly enough until they were next.

  Santa lifted the anxious Yaya into his arms and the angelic cherub put her arms around his neck and squeezed. “I’m sowwy I couldn’t come to say hello sooner, Santa, but my mommy was sick.”

  The older man whose eyes twinkled and whose face did resemble most of the cartoon pictures she’d ever seen of jolly St. Nick, grinned, commiserating with Belle and answered. “Sweetheart, I’m just glad you could make it today. Now, have you been a good girl this year for your mommy?”

  Yaya looked at Belle questioningly and seemed relieved when she nodded.

  “Yes, Santa”

  “Since you’ve been a good girl, you deserve something special. So what can Santa bring you for Christmas?”

  “Santa, my mama wants a new husband. She misses my daddy and… and she’s lonely. I heard her telling Auntie Kim. So, that’s what I weally want.”

  The golden-haired child nodded with conviction at the fat man in red, her face wreathed in dimples and her eyes trusting.

  If the floor could have opened up and swallowed Belle, she would have blessed the escape. As it was, she had to suffer the pitying glances from everyone in the lineup who had heard the little girl’s plea.

  “Well now,” Santa harrumphed, hiding his astonishment. “We’ll see what we can do for your mom, but no promises. It’ll depend on how good a girl she’s been this year.”

  Wide-eyed and serious, Layla answered. “She’s aw-ways a good girl. She’s my Mom.”

  “You have a point there, sweetie. You truly do.” He sent a wink in Belle’s direction, which clearly meant. Lady it’s up to you! “Now what does this little girl want under the tree Christmas morning?” He poked a gloved finger into Layla’s chubby belly and visibly melted under her giggles.

  “Could I have a new baby doll? One with a pink dwess, please.”

  “A pink dress. Got it!”

  With a last hug, Layla let Santa lift her off his knee and took three steps forward. Then she turned as if she knew he watched her and blew him a kiss, her newest trick. Not surprising, she received kisses in return from not only Santa but the helper by his side handing out candy canes, Mrs. Santa.

  As Yaya ran toward her, Belle could have sworn she heard his HoHoHo sound a lot huskier than earlier.

  While Yaya had been visiting with her favorite character, Belle had spotted the exact doll she’d described to Santa. Not only did the baby doll have a pretty pink dress, it had a cradle, a sweater set and tiny slippers to match.

  Instantly, Belle realized it would be the perfect gift for her baby. She sidled closer, pointing out various stuffed animals to keep Yaya happy, while she paid specific attention to one particular fact, the price. Once she decided it would fit her budget, Belle sneakily assessed the quality. Since they hadn’t spent any of their precious cash on a lot of food for the last while, she still had the budgeted money stashed away. It would be close to the price listed for the doll.

  Heart accelerating, thinking of Yaya’s happy face Christmas morning, she looked around to see where her little girl had wandered.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “She’s missing?!” Jesse forced the words out in as normal a voice as he could manage. “Calm down, Belle. Easy to say, not so easy to do! His heart sped up to where it made swallowing damn near impossible. Muscle spasms racked his stomach and he had to force composure into his voice. “She’s there somewhere, probably just wandered off to check something that caught her attention. You’ve got a phot
o of her in your phone. Show it to the employees. Maybe they’ll remember seeing her. Meanwhile, I’m on my way and I’ll be with you in a few minutes.”

  Driving like a fiend, Jesse broke every speed limit and even ran a few red lights. He couldn’t help it. Just the thought that Layla might have been taken by some wacko pedophile ripped his insides to shreds.

  Burning low and deadly, anger created fear that formed horrific images and ended in avowals. He’d kill anyone who hurt that beautiful angel. And no one would blame him

  Stop it! Get it together before you see Belle. You won’t be any good to her if you’re a mess.

  By the time he ran toward his hysterical roommate, he knew Layla hadn’t been found. Belle threw herself into his arms, her face twisted in misery. Tear tracks and pain changing her green eyes to grey pools of sorrow.

  The manager, who’d been notified by the clerks dealing with Belle’s mounting hysteria, continued placating her by saying this happened quite often and they always found the young culprits.

  Turning to Jesse, he added, “Kids move faster than greased lightning when it comes to this store, Sir. I’m guessin’ they can’t help themselves. It’s all those toys to excite them, especially during this season. They forget about mommy when they get into wandering and looking. Next thing they know, they’re lost.”

  Jesse patted Belle’s back while keeping her tucked inside his arms and said. “Has anyone seen her?”

  Clearing his throat, the heavy-set man admitted, “not yet. I’ve sent the photo to some of the department heads to keep a look out. In the meantime we’re announcing her name over of the loudspeakers every few minutes, telling her to go to any salesperson and tell them who she is.”

  “Do you have video surveillance throughout the store?”

  “Well sure, but it won’t come to that. It’s only been a short time. She’ll show up.” The man took a call on his cellphone, giving Jesse time to speak with Belle.