Barefoot in the Head

by Brian W Aldiss

  He strode up and down. ‘Hirst!’ Hirst. ‘Hirst be a good boy take this saint and lock him up in a singlecell then first thing tomorrow we will make one last little testicle and see how the godhead manages miracles?’

  As they paced through the dim stonebone maze Wechsel said, ‘I don’t know what you did to him but I can tell he’s going to be a devil tonight I’m half scared to go back there his rod of iron!’ Leaving Charteris in a dark locked place returning to his manchine.

  Charteris lying back recalled as best he could the immortal conversation and foxy old G saying to his disciples that mechanicalness was the destroyer as he well knew and sex was not mechanicalness when itself and not masquerading — pure when pure evil when self-deceiving — and here he had helped in the disintegration of Laundrei in real G style by getting him on a sterile trackway.

  Once recurrent more experience of night in which a planet rounds its imagrained edges and sky blancks like an eyelid or the minds downcast clearing hevens daze echoes playback the dischard progrimm in drems highspield Discofete

  But steamputteed kommandant made brief apparition at his bunkside to announce to Charteris half-awaken yar the saints worms of advice will be utilised to tranceform the polizei more mechanical he must also himself become roboterotic marshalling already phalliscalithenics for daily parage. Drill square all pressure and corrupt piston pulling pushing with electonic force jackoff-booted polizei will present forearms per zent fore ARMS perfect eunision now massturbashing on the march commense updown updown keep the tumessence there you in the rear wank that man links links links reckt links moonlight moonlight stick out your chesticles there prick up the undressing in front no shooting before I give the sommand shoot or there will be someone upon a dishcharge

  So the penal square shakes to footdrilling objection of personelity like the sparse wilderness pilowing forth and all the prairie under plough cracking thorowing up fooldrilling objects anjy

  old coffins craking ramshack doors grimd open where look grabbling mummies of skeletall desire the nocterning dead hold to themselves weathered wallflowers in sepia phornogravure with my lurching steps forced farce-to-farce grimcroaking incumberland heavies waddled I barely foot it down into trumpery old decade church protestine that the sign mislaid my tread shell of smellarage

  furflying estumnal dust all all round all excrusimation of the impalid rose out ostone damp damp sump turannean roomour me my arms outstranked shaden light shaden light makes motet anthemist clearing reviles three of the gravure mumbos jumble fearwards at me futhorks in their scrulls two intently loading on me trumperished rainment with schoden goods hairglooms one whose armoured banks all sack-wristed one a serafemale in the oldem broildered light and third fligger blackly small in fumireal drapery transponting water before him flauting to transfuse me from this fissure I at his viscage of necromercy cream I with object tennor openjewl before the three am earn rem ream cream scream screaming

  He startled up at shaking shoulderhand and there was his penumbral cell and Herr Laundrei amoured in white no colour anywhere from dreams. The oiled daze echoes pluckback of shady freudulence.

  ‘You — creaking out holy man all down the passage don’t toll me your nightmars!’

  ‘They were three here — ’

  ‘I I have watched and parayed all nightlong now morning climes again and I must make a last taste of you.’

  ‘What do you know of disintegrayment and the night’s boil down.’

  ‘Dawn and the test-down for you holy howling man!’

  Charteris pushed aside the rancid blanket and stiffly stood at the end of his spare of implements. Nobody spoke or thought of food mindgruel was concentrated on leverage of limb and closed probability.

  So clammy-early it was in the great stone creature that men lay bedburied in the gravy of yesterday only the kommandant and Charteris burned two sallow candles of constription. Starextinguishing light here laid its loot aside and stood mourning on stony vigil. As they descended greyshot down stonesteps from the cells no waking sounds splashed. Although my snuffering bids me stay. Out by a small rear door stabbed by foggy chill with brainwitchingday sulking the cobbled stains end gutter round the yellow corner to confront the bleak new year of morning with a wide submersed expanse flat wash of water chimera on which adrift a phlotasm of opalque eddifices.

  Black maimed thing rising from the closed front steps bulging towards them gestures and some tone returns.

  ‘Angelune! In disembroidered night you waiting for a skiff on this translucid tide to the fur world-weather.’

  She ransacked and clung to him her stark touch finding him substantial. ‘Colin, darling. Oh Colin, you did come for me I knew you would! They said there was a state law against women having babies in prison — “No women allowed to have babies in state prison” as if it was okay for men — so they locked me out — I’ve been in some state — ’

  ‘It’s the crossroads they nail us just this marlarky day.’

  ‘Colin I’ve been so frightened — ’

  ‘Malady love we’re all nervended the least of worries in this imposition.’

  Herr Laundrei spoke firmly, ‘We are busy, lady. Stand back, enjoy your compulsory freedom while it has you or there will be worse trouble we can always eject you back across the rational frontier. Stand back.’

  ‘Wait I’ll be retiding,’ He turned towards the misty Rhine of low points to avoid her gravied eyes. ‘On such a morning like water flowing from everyone’s head the old hopeless human thing that made misery humantic.’

  ‘Stand back from him, woman!’

  He a thing seen with no direct looking always looming trailing scented metallic dust seizing of joints and the nervending christendoom of the epoch.

  ‘Colin, leave this crimped luniform let’s get away — Colin you hear me? What speedy offence are we supposed to?’

  ‘Ploughed up mummies grappling in the density of this nether atmosphere demanding me if I own the upper tributes?’ Or with full-bellying sail becalms my prowed course into the lumonstricity.

  Kommandant with slicing motion fends her off uttering low counter-revolutionary cyclic sounds designatory of machinery and with his grasp quick leftrightleft motorvates his figurehead forwards through the pall across with every step the verge the lined lanes of astrobahn the marchens of the wide crewcut embanks the ruhig waters of dark-thighed Rhine all veiled by low uncertain mornlight.

  Here the phull-dicked imaginings of galaxies lie raped to ashes.

  Now I embark with each step on a new voyage these patterned halls know that entranced exits lie cell-to-cell and on these borning ghats ripples ever spreading outwards to the banks of death my personality strikes to every second of time’s encompassment with the ouspenskian eye drowsing in light of this multipacity infinite riches of a god one human tread.

  Quailed from their male abrogation she as always fell back into her second reposition stood in the vast vacancy of space and her long submission drowned unknowing. To amend her carped deforces she preened the cressfallen hair glaring in a shard of mirror I had this in Phil’s day his days my fizzog without the equality of Elsbeth well that’s what Mum always used to say I’d never be what my brothers were he doesn’t think enough of me I wonder why I hang around like I do honest I did try to break in to prison to reach you Col do my best I’m not a bloody saint you know...

  On dark grey muscles Loreldrei mechs to the edge of the shrouded flood and beckons stands ramrigid in the rigmilrole and utters ‘I do believe you are a divine leader come again to lead and you shall find me pillar of discipline rather than discussion greater the force the more obedience demanded test myself to the utmost as we gather in intensity and momentum with all inner conflicts canalised and final unification I will be the new man of steel in your crusade but to you saint John beloved disciplin bare to beat about and a whipping boy to all else steelsteel your right hand man march and convert and “Hydrogen 12 molecularising the regiments of converts and no sex but autosex the ma
chineries” again restore correct government superstricture everywhere under one leader for united world realisation of paradise.’

  Thus grandiloquently gesturing he might himself have advanced buoyantly upon the flood so ravelwrapped in the heavy swaddle of futurity or peering into more than mist. But checked himself on the bank and elevated both hands for the pelissed shore.

  ‘Give the last proof I need walk across to neutral Frank shore and back again on the waters! Show me a miracle!’

  He Charteris peered into the mist of all precarious passages one perhaps no more than others or bird’s flight unmarked through solvent air the golden hind through antipodean mazes seeing self-photographs peel off in fluttering disarray disgorging by hair’s gesture from the previous one with he the unknown triggering agantdealer. Which way was forwarmths? In this multi-perceptual cosweb was there still again as in the old maths world a unirection? Or he autostarring across a fresh infirmament? How many discarded duplicants of time how many sparky charges switched their currents truned awry or this big chance mist and he here in obscurity and discard with the sun set for ever its last rays caught in mottled iron further he for ever here in obscurity and discard with the vacant headlights fixed across that flood with something dear going down to cross to cross!

  But wet feet? Webbing? Walking.

  And bursting out of the old limits.

  Disintegrating and redissembling beyond the old disloccasion. The assumed world had its own appuisances. From the dodgy vapours butterknifed one blunted braid of sun among the clipped bank trees. Lit the couched vampours. Lit the nightflushed Rhinebow. Lit a figure striding on the far bank Charteris in a black mack sly and dry spectral!

  Staring double glaze of Laundrei tottering on the brink. The figure looking back and signalling. Charteris transfixed in terror. Jebem te pas mater! the horrors still my damned slavonik addled acid head of schizogod!

  Optic skull thought pertifozzing up through eystrils

  and morifices crapulolsar welkanschauung

  end in beginning’s mouth serpent tail in serpent’s mouth

  my cerebelly mindwind blowing it

  fling yourself in and drown this false baptistry of self this tripped pretence.

  But Laundrei screaming with a forged belief cried Paradise

  closed his eyes

  fell two paces to the left

  revelation

  vision triumphing over event

  Gibbering sprawling he fell to the ground spotted the master’s feet clutched his ankles splurged his pedestrian kisses there crying as if all contractions were miracles and madness an escape from self. Then reeling up he took to his own heels and plodded automadly back to Polizei HQ.

  Angeline with feathers in her lair moved thinly through the washout bearing her female burden and kneeling by him on the cobbles gazing down on man’s first disobedience and the fall-out of our mortal minds lifted his head from the rhinestone and cradled it.

  ‘Oh my exile darling how the splashes flecked me from the down and you too on the very verge my love my lover love.’

  ‘Angela listen what alternatives... Either I walked across the water or else we are finally ruinous of the mind and gluttony starting at the head fleshes out my phantasms.’

  ‘There there my love we all must fight our way in and out the misticuffs remember it’s the PSA bombs isn’t it we’re only human.’

  ‘Are we any more? Is Serbia sunk? What effects who knows for sure any more than when the first brain blossomed who was there to cry for Kossovo. If that effect gives new alternatives I may have walked across the water and be mad the same time.’

  ‘We’ll get away we’ll go away I’ll be good to you. South it’s Switzerland and the cooler air less loony-lunged.’

  ‘But perhaps I must counter terms with what I am or else stand starving at my own feast. This polizei man with his sagging wrists and lungentorpedos will escalcade me to the flowerpitching streets of capital cheering and I in blessing raised above the motorcade my hand over all more multi-valued in their addleation crying Charteris Paradise and liberating them all their eyelids autolipped with my celestine kiss and my driving words echoed at every diestamped intake.’

  ‘Colin it’s not for you just temptation of a family form. You remember how they godded you.’

  ‘My hand in the altobreasted egocade raised in motivalue over every man’s addle.’

  ‘Not you not you my love. You still distinguish truth at heart!’

  ‘And spreading my parts foreverywhere Charteris — the only but is but can I go where they have godded me when the green sparkling fuse of belief burns in their mansions not mine! That’s my question not yours no one loots me. What happens when the contagion comes from them to me and not from me to them will

  I tire of its simplicity their cheers merely a form of invalid silence?’

  On the old back ter ial bed his wise big toe wagged to the moultitude.

  He sat up bedraggled and round their human shoulders the shawls of mist drew away in sepia although underground the new animals in rotted lead rodded and rutted in obscurity.

  ‘Stay with me privately away from chariots my lovebird keep on our autocade into the cool bewildernesses of the Alps.’ I too have my presentiments to express and he could have been stark to the fanaticides of marching menchen a word of leadership the old ambitions gleam its better a ruined mind than the old agonisms they still wait by the reeded bank and that flat white sluggy bastart ‘Colin you take that escalading way into the capital with clouds of cheering fantiks and they’ll crucify you.’

  ‘I creamed openjewlled at his vision over the water but the chance is just variable. Stop riding me. Woman be more multi!’

  ‘Don’t jeer at me who’s in the family way by you you’ll go the way of all saviours and they’ll crucify you. They always need another crucifixion. There’s never enough for them!’ Tears bursting now.

  He turned his twilight into her pregnant eyes at the disturbulence there transfixtured by her word. ‘Is it another eternal recurrence then? Series of fake christs on series of faked crosses? How’s the multiplicity figure?’

  Her head shook the ragged locks of it like dishabitation. ‘Don’t ask me Colin my old dad was a methodist. He used to spout like Christ had a new idea of individual salve instead of massalve so they killed him because my old dad said we weren’t really individual yet — that sort of spiritual crap.’

  ‘The capitualism of God’s son with his loser takes all and blessed are the earth-grabbing meek. Gogetting what you have you hold like the world’s big dealers but that’s all done now. Wesciv’s chunks fall off. The individual’s chunks fall off.

  Nothing holds.’ He looked to the sunken ground in wan contemplay with cheeks shagged to pick at his appearing toe.

  She touched him. ‘Even for a faked christ it’s real death’s real isn’t it so? You didn’t want to die — didn’t in Brussels.’

  The blackmacked figure dry and inspectral in the mindwind.

  He glared swift murder at her like a dowsed headlight.

  Standing he found which side of the river he stood and surely never on that neutral shore a trick of light still puzzling his mindfit miracle. Under the sawn plane trees he coldly said to her ‘Go and sprout by stone dam of dross I want to think.’

  You pulverise the mere shadow of cerebral shade she cried at him but then less bitterly with an clouded smile not to torture himself or believe she would not wait. Why did she never give her animal feelings full rein? More and more what it was he wanted seemed denied or she herself likewise with no refuge in full psychotomimicry.

  The parallel bars still had a whichsidedness and that morning at wurst-time the mix-up again occurred so that captor and captive could not determine their roles except by elaborate reference beyond their bother. They fed well and in the pale pulped meat anyone could spit out the odd punctueating fingermail helped on by pepper seasoning and nature’s whichsideness of eater-eaten question.

  On the
dull air any bruised noses healed and oiled calm of illusion deadened buttons that otherwise shone spite. The big heavies had hepos inside which slowly rolled to fuzzier beats as they warmed to acid freakuency one polizei sang moonjune songs four hours at a standing.

  It was anything time to undergo the elemental rituals of friendship that mystical state where reservations stand their sharp points in the corner and fires blurr in a common grate.

  Some of them unbuttoning their tunics revealed amazing feats of tatotemism etched in tomato pink and inkblink blue where one glimpsed disembedded legs pierced hearts tangles of thorns weeping faces famous negroes dripping daggers mercedes battleships obscene inscriptions and butterflutes gothickly growing round breast or gristle so Gloria screamed from underneath ‘Ooh this bloke’s body’s his mindmap!’

  All untold the fey atmosfuddle of selforiented libidoting wooze trixfixed the constabulary into poets longhaired boxers instrumentalists vocalists meditationers on a semisyllable card trick-exponents voyeurs of the worlds box word-munchering fellowsophere semi-lovers of course with the greatest pretensions wrackonteurs charmers butchboys frenchmen twotkissing mystics like-feathered nestlings vanvogtian autobiographers laughers chucklers starers stargazers villagers and simple heart-burglars all seeing themselves shining in their hip-packet mirrors.

  Often they spoke of Charteris he had their licences. The wind blew from his direction but Ruby and the group had their baffles up. Music took on a shield of all blows.

  At the same time a dead leaf whisked through the circle of vision over the step and was gone into the darkness that always surrounded the circle of vision. But none of the watchers any longer cared for the old movements.

  To these unguarded guards now came packed and stamped Laundrei with his Hirst Wechsel perched on an epaulette squealing be ‘Heraus heraus’ and Paulette ‘Up you tumbling bitches’ all over the brothel-mongering assheadquarters to sprinkle them across the parryground.