Unforgettable

by Rosanne Bittner

  Ethan watched her, remembering this girl’s ability to lie and put on a brave front. “Why the sign out front, asking for a dependable man for night security?” He caught the quick look of fear in her eyes.

  “I’ll explain tonight. Maybe…maybe you’d like to stay on a while, work for me?”

  Ethan could not imagine anything more painful than having to be around her every day, having her come into his room to clean it, knowing she was nearby at night. He already knew that the quicker he got away from her again, the better; yet the word came out of his mouth as though someone else had put it there. “Maybe,” he answered. “You okay? Did you get robbed or something?”

  She smiled weakly. Here he was, the old, protective Ethan. “Nolan Ives is back in town and making sure I’m aware of it.”

  Ethan’s face darkened. “Maybe I should pay him a little visit.”

  “No, not yet. We’ll talk tonight.” Allyson stepped closer, touching his arm, feeling a wave of desire when she did so. Suddenly it seemed he had not been gone at all. She wanted nothing to do with men, so why did this one give her these confusing feelings? Why had she let him do the one thing she never thought she’d let any man do? And why was she so glad to see him again, after the way he had hurt her, brought her pain and shame? She should hate him, and thought all this time that she did, at least a little. If only he hadn’t gotten her that stove before he left. That was the kindest thing anyone had ever done for her.

  “Come back tonight, around eight o’clock. I’ll be closing up the restaurant then. I’ll save us some food, and we can eat and talk alone. There are things I need to tell you, Ethan, and I know it’s the same for you. I’m glad you came. I’m sorry…about what I said…that night…” She looked down then. “I didn’t mean it…like it came out.”

  Ethan put a big hand over her own. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll be back at eight.” He thought how he’d like nothing more than to grab her and kiss her and lay her back on that bare mattress behind her and make love to her all over again. “Don’t work too hard.”

  She pulled her hand away. “I’m used to it. That’s the only way to succeed here.” She tossed her head. “Nobody in this town thought I could do this, but I’m still here, and look at this place! This is the most important thing in the world to me. It’s all my own, and no one can take it away from me.”

  She was so sure. No, she hadn’t changed much. “See you tonight then.”

  “Fine. If you want to put your horse up, there are stalls out back, or there’s a livery just a little way up the street. You can bring your gear back here—give it to one of the women downstairs. They’ll hold it until you come back tonight.”

  He wished he could read those blue eyes of hers, wished he knew if she had thought about him as often as he had about her. “Thanks.” He gave her another smile before turning to leave. Get on your horse and ride the hell out of here! There was that little voice again. He agreed that was what he should do. He hurried down the stairs, through the hallway, through the restaurant, outside to Blackfoot. Yes, he’d leave right now. He’d seen her again, knew she was all right; also knew he wanted her again, and that was useless. To hell with tonight. He was leaving.

  He headed Blackfoot on up the street, past a livery, halted, turned back, and took the horse to the man in charge. “Brush him down and feed him, will you? I’m not sure how long I’ll be in town, but I’ll be here at least tonight.”

  “Sure thing, Indian. Fifty cents a night.”

  Ethan ignored being addressed “Indian.” He dug the money out of his pocket and handed it over. “I’ll be back in the morning to exercise him. If I’m going to stay longer, I’ll pay you then.” He took his saddlebags and a small carpetbag down from Blackfoot, slung the saddlebags over his shoulder and headed back toward Ally’s Place.

  10

  Allyson took one more look at herself in the mirror. She wanted to impress Ethan, to show him just how successful she really had become. He had already seen her restaurant and rooming house, and she had saved him a dinner of her best pork roast; but so far he had never seen her dressed as she was now, like a real lady, a grown-up woman who could afford fine clothes. She adjusted an ivory comb. It showed up beautifully in her red hair, which she had swept up into a cascade of waves that fell down her back. She wore just a touch of rouge at her cheeks and on her lips; and all that combined with a pair of little ruby earrings finished off her look. She pinned a small ruby brooch at the neck of her sheer batiste shirt; its high-necked, lace yoke made the pin look even prettier. There was also lace at the ends of the sleeves of the blouse, which she wore tucked into a black velvet skirt that accented her small waist.

  She sat down on her bed to pull on a new pair of black leather shoes that had shiny patent leather toe-caps and high heels to make her seem taller. As she laced them, she remembered the day before the land rush, when Ethan had told her to go look for a new pair of shoes. That seemed like such a long time ago, yet here he was, back again as though returned from the dead. She hoped he would not misunderstand why she was making herself extra pretty this evening. It was not because she intended in any way to return to where they left off the night he left. She had not quite forgiven him for that, nor did she want any further romantic involvement. She simply wanted him to see how grown-up she was, a successful businesswoman, and she had done it all by herself.

  She rose, checking in the mirror one more time, ignoring any lingering desires Ethan Temple had stirred in her. She must be strong tonight, strong and sure. She must ignore the womanly side of her that frightened her so, ignore the warm rush the sight of Ethan Temple brought to her blood. She must not give him even the slightest notion that this was anything but a thank-you for her stove, a pleasant renewal of an old friendship, and perhaps a business deal. No one could do a better job of guarding her business than Ethan. Trouble was, that would mean he would be around all the time, and she was not sure how either of them would react to that. She just hoped he could forget that last night together and realize it was only the whiskey that had made her so vulnerable—and admit his own guilt in giving her that whiskey in the first place. There were parts of that night that brought a pleasant ache to her insides, but when she remembered the last part, the pain, the humiliation…

  She heard a knock at the outside door to the restaurant. She hurried out of her room, through the kitchen and to the door, peeking through the curtains to make sure it was Ethan. It was still just light enough to see his tall frame. She opened the door, struggling not to show her own pleasant surprise at how wonderful he looked. He was wearing dark blue cotton pants and a white French flannel shirt with thin blue stripes. She recognized the shirt as one of the latest in men’s fashions. A deep blue silk tie graced his neck and he held a black felt hat. Indian or not, Allyson was sure no more handsome man walked the face of the earth. Why did he have to look like that? Combined with the knowledge of how strong and skilled and brave he was, and how kind he could be besides, it just made it more difficult for her to stick to her resolve that they could be nothing but friends.

  “Ethan! You…you didn’t have to get all fancied up.”

  He grinned, his dark eyes taking in her own elegant clothing and red lips. Now she wished she had just left herself plain. What must he think? “Well, look at you,” he answered. “It’s a good thing I did clean up.” He took his hand from behind his back and produced a bouquet of flowers. “I figured if I expect you to forget and forgive the circumstances of my leaving here a year ago, I had better look and act like a gentleman.” He sobered then, his eyes sincere. “I’m sorry, Ally. I took advantage of a very confused, upset young lady who was lonely and scared; but I want you to believe it was not for the reasons you think. I cared very much for you, but I didn’t come back here to try to push you in that direction again. I only wanted to make sure you were all right, and I wanted to apologize.”

  Allyson took the flowers, surprised by the gesture. “I…I guess it was a little bit my faul
t, too. I accept your apology, as long as you…” She felt the flush coming to her cheeks. How often did he think about what he had done to her? Right or wrong, forgiven or not, it had happened, and it had left an odd connection between them, something that made it so difficult to look at him as just a friend now. “As long as you can put it out of your mind, and not think I’m…” She turned away with the flowers. “…a sinful woman.”

  Ethan struggled not to laugh aloud. Allyson Mills a sinful woman? Well, maybe she’d done some wrong things in her childhood, like steal, but she’d had her reasons. As far as being sinful in the way of men, she wouldn’t even know how. He just wished he could put the whole thing out of his mind, but the way she looked tonight, filling out that lacy blouse like a grown woman, the way she carried herself…what man could forget how it had felt to be her first? How many nights had he spent since then wondering what it would have been like to strip her naked and touch and taste and gaze upon her nakedness? No, he could not “put the whole thing out of his mind,” but if that was what she wanted to think for now, he would let her think it.

  “Ally, I’ve never once thought of you as having done anything wrong. It was all my fault. I took advantage. You hardly knew what was happening to you. I understand how you feel about the whole thing, and I’ve put it out of my mind, I assure you.”

  Her back was still to him. “And I’m sorry, too, about calling you an Indian, as though it was something bad. I was just angry. I wanted to hurt you.”

  “I know that.”

  Allyson left for a moment, coming back out of the kitchen, carrying the flowers in a vase. She set them on a table, still not meeting his eyes since their first remarks. “Sit down, Ethan. You are now going to taste some of the finest cooking in Guthrie.” She looked at him then, suspecting that was love she saw in those dark eyes. Damn him. Ignoring her own feelings was not going to be as easy as she thought, but at least they had gotten over their initial uneasiness, had gotten the apologies out of the way. She had to be strong now, show him she was an independent woman who needed no man. “I started out right away, just a few hours after you left me that stove. I baked some bread, sold it, and now look at me.”

  Ethan walked over to the table and pulled out a chair. “You don’t have to convince me, Mrs. Mills. Let me guess. The single men of Guthrie, and probably a few married ones, gladly lent you their time and labor to get this place built.”

  Allyson put her hands on her hips, gazing into his eyes as he sat down. “Yes, they did. I have learned that a woman doesn’t have to do anything questionable to get men to do her bidding. She simply has to be a woman, and if she is a lonely, grieving widow, young and helpless, it’s all the more to her advantage.”

  Ethan laughed aloud, shaking his head. “It sure didn’t take you long to figure that one out.”

  “I’m a smart woman, remember? You told me that yourself once.”

  His eyes moved over her again in that way he had of unnerving her. “I sure did, and I see I was right. Now, let me see if that cooking of yours is worth buying you that stove.”

  Allyson smiled, and Ethan saw a new womanliness in her that had not been there when he left. “I’ll be right back with your food.” She returned moments later with a large round tray containing a pot of coffee and two plates. She set the tray down and took one plate from it, heaped with pork roast, mashed potatoes and gravy, and corn. She then set a basket of hot rolls on the table with some butter, and poured him a cup of coffee. “When you are through with this, there is plenty of apple pie for desert,” she said, setting her own plate down across from him. Hers contained only a little food.

  “This looks great,” he told her. “I’m not sure I’ll have room for pie when I’m through, though.”

  She smiled, and Ethan realized he’d never seen her look so radiant, wasn’t even sure he’d ever seen her smile those few days he had known her a year ago.

  “I know how men eat,” she commented. “You’ll have room.” She laid her napkin over her lap, and sitting directly across from him as she was, Ethan could not help noticing the full swell of her breasts beneath the lace of her silk shirt. He wondered, even after all she’d been through and what had happened between them, if she understood what her beauty did to a man. She already realized she could get men to do practically anything for her, but he’d bet she didn’t realize how men probably fantasized about her, the ache she stirred in their loins. He realized that if he was going to save his own heart, he’d better leave Guthrie tomorrow.

  “So, clarify a couple of things for me,” he said. “I know you’ve made a whole lot of money here, but it couldn’t have been enough to build this whole building and furnish it, plus pay hired help. Do you owe on it?”

  Allyson sipped some coffee. “I got a loan from a Mr. Bloomfield. I think he hopes to marry me one day. He gives me the lowest interest of any other banker in town. It won’t take me long to pay it off. After that, everything is profit, and it’s all mine.” She raised her chin. “Someday I’m going to contact the orphanage and tell them what I have accomplished.” Her face fell then. “If only Toby could share all this with me.”

  Ethan swallowed some pork. “This is the best food I’ve had in a long time, and I’m not just saying that.”

  She smiled proudly. “Thank you kindly, Mr. Temple.”

  Ethan sipped his coffee. “You’d probably be better off never contacting the orphanage. They might turn around and somehow make trouble for you. I talked to a few people around town today, just inquiring about things. I hear the town council is pretty strict on enforcing rules about the Sooners, and you’ve got a prime piece of property here. If anybody in the right circle ever found out you weren’t eighteen when you claimed this, let alone weren’t even married, you could have a problem.”

  Allyson toyed with her potatoes. “I’m not so worried anymore. I’m well established, and I’ve made a lot of friends. You might be right, though, about the orphanage.” She sighed. “I do appreciate what you did for me that day, Ethan. I never could have done any of this if you hadn’t been there.”

  He grinned. “I’m not so sure of that. You’re a pretty determined woman.” He swallowed more food, and Allyson got up to pour him a second cup of coffee from one of several fancy pewter pots used by the restaurant.

  “Where have you been this past year?” she asked. She saw his smile fade, sensed he was troubled.

  “Well, after I left here I went back to Fort Supply, reported in, went on to my usual duties of overseeing the trail drives through reservation lands around Deep Creek Trail. Then last November I headed for Illinois to find my pa in Springfield. I knew he’d gone there to visit his white relatives.” He wiped his mouth with his napkin and took another swallow of coffee. “What I didn’t know was that he was dying.”

  Allyson sat back down. “Oh, I’m sorry, Ethan.”

  He leaned back, meeting her eyes for a moment before looking away to hide the pain. “They call it cancer. It’s a terrible way to die—a slow, painful death. I stayed there with him, helped my Aunt Claudia take care of him.”

  Allyson noted some bitterness when he referred to his aunt.

  “I guess she appreciated the help,” he added, “but she didn’t appreciate my being there. She and her husband, my pa’s brother, look at me as some kind of bastard. They never recognized me as their blood relation. Aunt Claudia didn’t like having an ‘Indian’ around her daughters—made me sleep in the barn.”

  Allyson blushed, remembering her own harsh words the night he left. “That’s terrible.”

  “Yeah, well, I tell myself I’m used to it, but a man can only take so much.”

  Allyson met his eyes, knew he was referring to their last night together. “People don’t always mean what they say, Ethan. And sometimes they react to things out of fear, or because they just don’t understand.”

  He forced a grin, trying to seem unaffected. He picked up his fork again. “Hell, I know that.” He sighed deeply. “At any rate
, my pa lasted another four months. I just wish he could have been buried out here, could have come back once more. This is where he belonged, but by the time I got to him he was too sick to bother.”

  “You talked about him before. You were close.” Allyson remembered what he’d told her about his mother, how he’d watched her die when so many Cheyenne were murdered at that place called Sand Creek. She had seen a lot of ugliness in her life, but so had he. “Didn’t you say you had Indian relatives left?”

  Ethan buttered a roll. “A couple of cousins and a Cheyenne aunt here in Oklahoma, an uncle, grandmother, and three more cousins up in North Dakota. I promised my pa I’d go and see them. I came here first to make sure you were doing all right.”

  “Oh.” Allyson struggled to hide her disappointment. She had hoped he would stay on and work for her. “You’re leaving soon then?”

  Ethan watched her closely as he swallowed a piece of biscuit. He felt he knew this woman well enough to realize when she was hiding her fear. Everything was not as rosy as she made it out to be. There was still that HELP WANTED sign out front. “You need me to stay?” He noticed she had hardly touched her food. She smiled, but it was a nervous smile.

  “Not if you have other plans. I only meant…well, I just thought we’d have a few more chances to talk again, but then I’m busy, and you have plans. After all, you did only come here to see if I was all right.” She smiled again. “And as you can see, I am.” She picked up the pewter pot and poured herself another cup of coffee. “I’m glad you did come by. I feel better clearing the air between us, knowing you’re all right and being able to show you my place.”

  “Ally, I know how you can lie. Something is wrong. You mentioned earlier today that Nolan Ives was causing trouble again. You even said maybe I could work for you. You need someone to guard this place? What’s been going on?”