Red (A Brett MacLean Duet)

by J. M. Walker

  My stomach dropped to my feet. Taking a deep breath so I wouldn’t lash out at my wife, I counted to ten before I spoke. “Evvie...” My voice trailed off. I mentally scolded myself. Give me a business and I could run it with no problems, but when it came to my wife, I was lost. I had no words. I didn’t know how to make things better.

  “That’s all you’re going to say? After all of this time and you have nothing?”

  “I don’t know what else to do,” I confessed. “I’ve apologized.”

  “You brought your daughter here without my knowledge. You could have told me that was your intention.”

  “It wasn’t. I told you—”

  “I don’t give a shit what you told me.” She slammed the dresser drawer closed, gripping the edge until her knuckles turned white. “What’s wrong with us that we can’t even talk anymore?” she asked, looking at my reflection in the mirror. “I feel like I’m losing you and I feel fucking guilty. I feel guilty, Brett. Me. When this is all your fault, I’m still taking the blame on myself.”

  “I’m trying here.” I stepped up behind her and placed my hands on her shoulders. Her small body shook beneath my touch. “I love you. I’m trying to show you how sorry I am.”

  “It’s not enough.” She squeezed her eyes shut, tears streaming down her cheeks. “You know it’s not enough. We need more. We need to see Matteo again or something. I can’t keep fighting you.”

  “I won’t let you go.” I pulled her back against me. Much to my surprise, she turned in my arms and wrapped hers around my waist. “I’ve sent off the paperwork to try and get a DNA test. I’ve tried asking Roxane about Claire, but she won’t tell me shit. Storm doesn’t know either.”

  “I need answers before I can heal. I love you. I love you so fucking much.” She looked up at me that time, her eyes red and swollen. “I didn’t trust you in the beginning. Not with my heart but you made me fall in love with you anyway. And now look at us.” Evvie leaned her forehead against my chest.

  “I won’t let you leave. This is your home. I had it built for you. I’ll pack some more things and head back to the hotel.”

  “No.” She shook her head. “I can’t be here and not have you beside me. But when you are beside me…” She looked away.

  “I know.” I swallowed hard, my voice thick. “It’s for the best. I can’t stay here with you while you don’t trust me.” I lowered to my knees, wrapping my arms around her middle. “I don’t want our children to see us like this.”

  A sob escaped her. “Brett. God. My heart hurts. I can’t…” She hiccupped, covering her face.

  “If you want to leave me, if you want a divorce, I…” Bile rose to my throat. “I will do anything to make you happy.”

  ***

  (Evvie)

  His words cut into me like a knife. I fell to the floor, wrapping my body around him and cried. God did I ever cry. I didn’t know what I wanted. Was a divorce it? Brett hurt me. He betrayed my trust in him when I had issues trusting him in the first place. If he kept this from me for that long, what else hadn’t he told me?

  “Do you have any other secrets?” I asked, my voice coming out hoarse.

  “What do you mean?” he sat back, rubbing his hands up and down my arms.

  “Anything else that you haven’t told me, Brett. I can’t go through this again. I’m not strong enough.” I gently pushed him, getting his attention. “Tell me.”

  “There’s nothing else,” he grit out, grabbing my hand. “I shouldn’t be sitting here pissed that you’re asking me if there’s anything else, but I am.”

  “What the hell do you expect? You would ask me the same questions. No.” I thought a moment. “You would just fuck the answers out of me.”

  “You make it sound like I do things to you against your will.” He cupped my nape, pulling me flush against his body. “Well, little girl, need I remind you that everything we fucking do, is because you’ve given me permission. You’re a slut for my cock, so don’t you dare throw your consent back in my face.” He released me roughly and rose to his feet.

  Guilt tore at me at what I had suggested. He was right. I never turned him down and I never said no. Everything we did was consensual but that wasn’t what I was implying.

  “Tell me you want a separation, or a divorce and I’ll have our lawyer draw up the papers.” His shoulders slumped, admitting defeat.

  “It’s that easy for you, isn’t it?” I pushed to my feet, placing my hands on my hips. “You throw those words around like it’s what you really want. Are you wanting to divorce me? Is that it, Brett? Maybe then you can go running back to Claire—”

  Faster than I could imagine, Brett was standing in front of me with his hand wrapped around my throat.

  “Finish that sentence, Evvie. Finish it. I fucking dare you.” He pushed me back against the wall, holding me in place. His eyes turned dark, his voice deadly. “I love you. I’ve given my life to you. I know I’m an asshole. I know I’m still fucking possessive of you. But don’t you dare stand there like you’re so damn innocent. I made a mistake and I’m man enough to admit it. Constantly throwing it in my face is not going to do shit. So, either you want us to work on this or not. The choice is yours.” Crushing his mouth to mine, he nipped my bottom lip.

  Tears welled in my eyes at the delicious pain.

  “I’m done. Until you figure out what it is you fucking want, don’t call me.” He released me and stormed out of the room, the front door to the house slamming shut a moment later.

  My hand fluttered to my throat, my eyes welled. I had never seen that side of him. Not directed at me anyway. My chest constricted, my heart hammering against the walls of my rib cage. I didn’t know for sure, but something told me I just lost my husband.

  For good.

  Brett

  WHEN I LEFT my house, my body was vibrating over my bones. Evvie’s words didn’t sit well with me and although I wasn’t proud of how I reacted, her accusations pissed me off.

  Shaking out my arms, I paced back and forth. I couldn’t control this urge, this ultimate need to head back into the house and show her exactly what I wanted to do. But I couldn’t. If I just kept fucking her without talking, we would end up in a divorce faster than I could have her screaming out my name.

  “Fuck.” Getting into my car, I slammed the door closed and beat my fist against the steering wheel. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

  This was not how I wanted tonight to go. Leaving my wife sobbing on the floor was not the way back to her heart. Fuck my life. I should just leave her. She would be better off.

  Turning on the car, I drove around town aimlessly. I didn’t know where to go or what to do anymore. I could head back to the hotel. I could work but seeing as it was still early enough, there would be people at the club. I was not in the mood to be social.

  My phone rang, the noise sounding through the speakers of the car. “Yeah,” I grumbled a greeting.

  “What the fuck did you do to my sister?”

  My heart jumped. Shit . “Listen, Evan, that’s between me and her.”

  “No. She told me what happened. I stayed back, wanting her to deal with it on her own. But when she just calls Anna, sobbing, I can’t handle this shit anymore.”

  “I don’t know what you want from me.” At that moment, I was thankful that he and I weren’t in the same vicinity. Evan was a large fucker. All three of Evvie’s brothers were. I was glad the other two were out of town. Dealing with one of them was bad enough.

  “I want you to make my sister happy again.”

  I pinched the bridge of my nose. I wanted that too. He had no idea how much I wanted that. “Listen, I know you and I started off with issues but I respect you. My kids love you. But this shit between Evvie and I, is just that.”

  “It was until you got some bitch pregnant.”

  “I did not know about that until the day I told Evvie. I never kept that from her.” Why I felt the need to explain myself to him was beyond me.

  �
��Maybe not but you did keep the fact you fucked Claire from her.”

  “She told you that?” Shit. Of course, she would.

  “Why wouldn’t she? She doesn’t keep things from those she loves.”

  “Fuck you.” I pulled over to the side before I swerved off the road and got in an accident. “I told her I don’t know what happened that night.”

  “Then why the hell did you tell her you fucked Claire?”

  “Evan, are you talking to Brett?” Anna asked in the background.

  “Don’t worry about it,” he told her. “Brett, you need to man up and deal with this shit. Evvie may be mad at you right now but she can’t live without you. So, stop being a damn pussy and figure out your shit.”

  ***

  (Evvie)

  “When was the last time you saw him?”

  I met Anna’s stare from across the bed. “A week ago. I think?” I thought a moment. “I can’t even remember.” My chest tightened, an ache filling the void where my heart used to be. “Every time he calls, I refuse to answer. If Miracle’s home, she’ll answer for me.”

  “Does she know anything?”

  “Not in detail. She isn’t stupid though. I know we need to talk to them and tell them about…” I swallowed hard. “Anyway…I’m just not ready. And as much as I’m mad at Brett, I won’t tell them without him.”

  Anna nodded in understanding. “It’s funny.”

  “What is?”

  “Your relationship is what I’ve always strived for. I know it’s not perfect but the love you have for each other, it’s not something you see often. If ever. Anymore. But now…”

  “Don’t envy us, Anna.” I distracted myself by folding laundry with her. “I love him. I will always love him. But I don’t know how to handle this. Am I overreacting? I can’t even say anything to Claire because she’s locked up somewhere. Maybe if I could approach her, I would feel better. I don’t know anymore. But I need to know for certain if he fucked her or not. But, Anna...”

  “What?” she asked, her voice small.

  “Storm looks like him. She looks like him more than our own kids do, but I can’t help but be drawn to her. She’s smart like Miracle. And I only got that from meeting her for a couple of minutes.”

  “Are you going to see her again?”

  I nodded. “I got an email from him. An email, Anna. Who emails their wife instead of calling her?”

  “If he can’t get a hold of you—”

  “God.” I threw my hands up, covering my face. “I know. It’s my fault.”

  “No, it is not your fault. You need time but you also need answers. Unfortunately, with things like this, the government takes forever.”

  “Yeah.” I slumped on the bed, folding one of Patrick’s t-shirts. It had a picture of a dinosaur on it. I thought back to the day Brett and I had picked it out together. Tears burned my eyes. God, I was sick of crying over this shit.

  “Have you tried maybe visiting Claire?”

  I scoffed. “And then I’d end up there myself. It had bothered me back in the day, seeing her with him. Her mentioning things about what they had done. But I didn’t care about that. I loved him. I saw past his moody and brooding ways. He’s an asshole. He will always be an asshole but I know he loves me and our kids endlessly.” My throat worked past the hard lump. “I thought he loved me anyway.”

  “He does, Evvie.” Anna shook her head, her eyes shining. “I can’t…nothing I say will ever make you feel better. But I’m here. Evan and I are both here. If you need anything.”

  “You watching the kids has helped me. I don’t want them seeing me break.” My hands shook while I attempted to fold the clothes and help Anna out. It was the least I could do. “You…you’ve done so much for me.” My eyes welled.

  “Oh, Evvie.” Anna rushed to my side and pulled me into her arms. “I’m so sorry.”

  “I wish…” My voice cracked. “Fuck. I hate that he’s making me cry. I hate that he’s not here. I hate that I love him so fucking much.” My body shook with bone crushing sobs. My ribs ached. My stomach churned.

  While Anna rubbed my back, trying everything to sooth me, all I could think about was Brett. My husband. The only man to ever get under my skin like he did. The only man who made me fall in love. The only man to make me his.

  “If he loved me so much, then why did he fuck her?”

  Anna pulled back, cupping my face. “I don’t know, sweetie. I have no damn idea. But we don’t even know if he did or not.”

  “Yeah and that’s pissing me off too.” I roughly wiped the tears from under my eyes. “I don’t know if I can make it through this. I’m not strong enough.”

  A commotion downstairs caught our attention. A knowing glance passed between us before we left the room.

  At the top of the stairs, I could see Evan pushing Brett up against the wall with his arm lodged against his throat.

  Anna rushed down the stairs, trying to stop the impending fight from happening, but all I could do was stare.

  “I need to see my wife,” Brett ground out once Anna was able to get Evan off of him. “I know she’s here.”

  “Of course, she’s here,” Evan boomed. “Where else is she going to fucking go?”

  My heart raced, my blood pounding in my ears at the sight before me.

  Brett smoothed his hands down his suit. “You will let me see her.”

  I shivered.

  His deep voice was firm and to the point. He screamed authority and even after all these years later, it still made me weak in the knees.

  “Yeah?” Evan took a step toward him. “You think so do you? She should have left your sorry ass years ago.”

  “Evan, they need to talk.” Anna gently pushed him back. “You two also need to stop this before the kids hear you.”

  I cleared my throat, ringing my hands in front of me.

  Brett caught my gaze.

  “Let’s go,” Anna told Evan. “Let’s give them some time.”

  “They don’t need fucking time,” he grumbled. “She needs to leave him.”

  I swallowed hard. Was my brother right? Did I need to leave Brett? Was this something that was unforgivable?

  All of these questions bounced around in my head but as Brett came up the stairs toward me, I knew where I needed to be.

  My feelings were a contradiction. On one hand, I hated to even look at my husband. But on the other, the only place I wanted to be was in his arms. He was the only one who could console me. Even though he caused this agony, this soul-crushing pain that suffocated me until my lungs burned for the air he had taken from me, he was my everything. My one. My only.

  I loved him. I loved him so damn hard.

  If I didn’t, this wouldn’t hurt so much.

  As Brett came toward me, I headed to the spare room I had been staying in for the past couple of days.

  When the sound of the door closed behind me and the lock clicked into place, my heart jumped to my throat.

  I turned as Brett crushed me against him.

  A sob escaped me.

  “Fuck, I’ve missed you,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “I’ve missed this. Your smell. Your body. Your fucking tears.” His hands ran through my hair, tugging my head back before he captured my mouth in a hard, bruising kiss.

  He swallowed my gasp, tasting my breath on his tongue.

  I opened to him instantly, snaking my arms around his neck and pulling him closer. So damn close. Any more and I would be under his skin.

  He took everything that he wanted. I was his and he kissed me like a savage animal. It had felt like so long since I had his mouth on mine. His tongue between my lips. His hard body up against me.

  Brett cupped my face and kissed me so damn hard, I could come from the sheer pleasure of it all.

  If I could burrow myself deep inside him, I would. Even though he had hurt me, he was always my safe place. The one who challenged me to be a better person. A better mother. He let me be free to be myself
and never took me for granted. He loved me .

  God, I missed him. I missed this. This all-consuming connection we had shared since we first met.

  His tongue pushed between my lips even more, controlling the kiss while his other hand ran down the length of my back before cupping my ass. He pulled me harder against him, backing me up until I hit the wall.

  “I know…” he panted, breaking apart the kiss. “I know we need to talk but…”

  “Shut up.” I dug my fingers into his nape. “Just shut up and kiss me. That’s all I want right now. It’s all I need.”

  “Evvie.” His brows narrowed. “You need more.”

  I shook my head, my eyes brimming over. I refused to cry again. Not right now.

  “Evvie.” He stroked a hand over my hair, petting me, before pinching my chin. “You always need more.”

  “Right now.” I hooked my hands in the waistband of his pants and pulled him roughly against me. “I want you to fuck me. I want you to take me out of my head since you’re the one who put me there.”

  Brett gripped my jaw, staring intently into my eyes while his other hand roamed beneath the hem of my dress to my hip. “Tell me you want me. Tell me even though you fucking hate me right now, that you still want me.”

  My jaw clenched.

  “Tell me, Evvie,” he demanded, his voice taking on that deep delicious tone I had come to crave over the years. “Tell me.”

  Instead of giving him the answer he wanted, I started unbuckling his belt. Lowering the zipper, I reached into his pants and wrapped my hand around the part of him that had given me so much pleasure since the first moment I met him.

  “Tell me,” he growled.

  “Fuck you,” I said instead, pulling and tugging on his thick erection. “You did this to me, Brett. You’ve turned me into this woman who would rather fuck than talk about her feelings because they hurt too damn much.”

  Brett cupped my ass and lifted me in his arms, slamming me up against the wall. Lifting my dress to my hips, he shoved my panties to the side and dropped me onto him. He thrust into me hard, filling me to the hilt.