The Adulterer's Wife: a breathtaking psychological thriller

by Leigh Russell

  But as the reality of the situation hit me, I struggled to come to terms with the shock of losing Paul. Apart from seeing my son in tears and refusing to eat, one of the most difficult tasks was calling Paul’s parents to tell them the news. In their sadness at losing their only child, their sympathy for me was hard to deal with. Naturally they both wanted to know what had happened, but all I could tell them was that his death was being investigated.

  ‘What do you mean, it’s being investigated?’ my mother-in-law, Stella, asked.

  I had to spell out for her that the doctor had been unable to identify the cause of death. ‘So, they have to carry out an autopsy.’

  ‘An autopsy? Why?’

  ‘It's what they have to do when there's a sudden death for reasons that aren't immediately apparent. It doesn't mean they suspect anything untoward,’ I added quickly. ‘They just don't know whether he had a heart attack, or a stroke, or what it was.’

  ‘How’s Dan?’

  ‘We’re coping.’

  ‘Is there anything I can do?’

  It was kind of her to ask, and she agreed at once when I suggested that we bring forward Dan’s planned visit to see them. All I wanted right then was to be left alone. Coming to terms with Paul's death was difficult enough. His infidelity was a whole other matter. Adultery was the worst kind of deceit, and I would never have an opportunity to challenge him about it. For the rest of my life, I would have no idea how or why he had stopped caring about me. If he loved me, he wouldn’t have promised Bella that he would leave me. He wouldn’t even have had an affair with her. Perhaps he too had been waiting for Dan’s exams to finish before confronting me with his plans for a new life with another woman. Or he might have just been enjoying a meaningless dalliance with her. I would never know.

  Meanwhile, I had Dan’s anguish and anger to deal with. Somehow, I had to convince him that I was as distressed about Paul’s death as he was, while remaining strong and supportive, as his only living parent. I thought back to the early years of my relationship with Paul, before work and bills and Dan had distracted us from each other. When we had first met, I had thought only of pleasing him, but gradually we had drifted further and further apart. Nevertheless, I had never considered being unfaithful and it hadn’t occurred to me that Paul might be having an affair. I had honestly thought we were happy enough, and that muddling along amicably was what most people did, once the first flush of romance faded. We were in our forties, hardly living love’s young dream.

  ‘So, you let me sit through my exams as though nothing had happened, and all the time he was dead, and you knew it? I can’t believe you did that. Why didn’t you call the school and let me know straight away?’

  ‘He was dead, Dan. There was nothing you could have done.’

  ‘Don’t you care about my feelings?’

  Keen to avoid a confrontation, I held back from accusing him of unfairly directing his anger against me.

  ‘It hadn’t sunk in,’ I replied, desperate to restore his trust in me. ‘I still can’t believe it. I think I’m in shock. It just doesn’t seem real. I found him like that, in bed, when I got home from dropping you at school, and- it was horrible…’

  I broke off, briefly moved to tears. I wasn’t crying for Paul, but for myself. Before he died he had destroyed my love for him, so I couldn’t mourn his death. But my tears helped because, sobbing, Dan came over to me and put his arms around me.

  ‘It’s okay, Mum,’ he said. ‘It’s okay. Don’t cry.’

  ‘We’ll get through this,’ I assured him.

  I hoped I was right.

  6

  A few months had passed since we had made plans for Dan to visit his grandparents in Scotland once his exams were over. He had been due to go there in a few days’ time, but I wanted him to leave the following morning. Apart from the fact that it would be good for him to stay away from home for a couple of weeks, I needed him out of the way so that I could pursue my own plans.

  The lure of an iPad waiting for him in Edinburgh helped persuade him to go.

  He assured me he was happy to travel there by himself. ‘But are you sure you’ll be okay?’ he asked. ‘I’ll be with Nan and Granddad, but I feel bad about leaving you on your own for so long. I don’t have to go. Or you come with me.’

  ‘I’ll be fine. You don't need to worry about me. Dad would have wanted you to go, and he’d be right. We shouldn’t let his parents down, especially now, after what’s happened. And there’s a lot for me to do here. It’ll give me a couple of weeks to myself to start sorting out some of the paperwork.’

  ‘What paperwork?’

  ‘You don’t need to worry about it, Dan. This is what happens when someone dies. There are a lot of documents to deal with. It takes a long time. It’s a big hassle, but Miles is going to help me through it, and I can always call you if I need you.’

  He nodded uncertainly. Miles was a friend of Paul’s and a lawyer who dealt with wills and probate.

  ‘I could stay and help you?’

  ‘That’s very kind, but I think Nan and Grandad might appreciate seeing you right now.’

  ‘If you’re sure you’ll be okay?’

  ‘Yes. I’ll be fine. And I think it would be very kind of you to spend some time with Stella and Mark. They must be worried about you.’

  Living in Scotland, Paul’s parents hadn’t seen us since Christmas, and Dan agreed it would be a comfort for them to see him. Privately I hoped that supporting them in their grief might help him to deal with his own feelings. And although I would never have admitted as much to anyone, it was going to help me to have him out of the way for a while.

  Having seen him off at the mainline station, I turned my attention elsewhere. If I had any sense, I would never have risked delving into Paul’s secret life. It was all over. He was dead. The other woman in his life was history. As far as I knew, apart from my two friends, the only other person who had known about her was dead. If it hadn't been for my chance discovery, Paul's secret might have died with him.

  Rather than poking about in Paul’s clandestine affairs, what I needed to do now was focus on rebuilding my life. In some ways that wasn’t going to be too difficult because Paul’s death had left me in a reasonably secure financial position. Once the police were satisfied, the mortgage would be paid off. Together with my modest earnings as a part-time doctor's receptionist, Dan and I would be able to afford to stay in the house for the time being. When he left to go to university, I might think about working full-time, or moving. I wouldn’t need a four-bedroomed house once I was living on my own, and downsizing would release funds for Dan’s studies.

  Nothing but curiosity drove me to call the number I had found on Paul’s phone.

  It was answered by the same woman’s voice as before. ‘Hello?’

  ‘Is that Bella?’

  ‘Yes. Who’s this?’

  I hesitated before answering. ‘We need to talk about Paul Barrett.’

  ‘Paul? Is he all right?’

  ‘He’s...’ I paused.

  ‘What's happened? Why hasn't he rung me? I keep calling him but-’

  ‘We can't talk about it over the phone. It's not that easy- ’

  I had so many questions. I wanted her to confirm she had been seeing Paul for two years, and to tell me where they had met, and whether she had been in love with him. More than anything else, I was curious to know what she looked like. I had nothing to gain, but it was like wanting to scratch an itch, or pick a scab. I had to know all about her. I had to see her.

  ‘Who are you? How did you get my number?’ she asked.

  She sounded so hostile I nearly hung up, but I couldn't stop.

  ‘Paul gave it to me, and he gave me a message for you. But I can't tell you over the phone.’

  ‘Why not? I don't understand. Tell me who you are.’

  With the conversation threatening to become tetchy, I suggested we meet at the top of the stairs by the Parcel Yard pub at King’s Cross statio
n. I would be able to sit on the terrace outside and watch her coming up the stairs. If I decided not to speak to her, I could slip into the lift and make my way out of the station without her seeing me. We agreed to meet at six o'clock that evening.

  ‘How will I recognise you?’ she asked.

  ‘I’ll wear a green jacket,’ I lied. I had never owned a green jacket. ‘What about you?’

  She paused. ‘A white shirt, and I’ll carry a white bag. I’ve got fair hair. And I’ll wear a red scarf.’

  I nodded. That figured. Paul had always said my blonde hair was one of the reasons he had been attracted to me. But that was a long time ago.

  I arrived at King’s Cross station early to take up my position. I wanted to sit near the lift so I had the option of slipping away unseen. Although this was the woman who had destroyed my faith in my marriage, I felt vaguely excited about our assignation, as though I was some kind of spy. We weren’t due to meet for nearly an hour but I climbed the stairs glancing around furtively in case she had also arrived early. A few of the tables at the top of the stairs were occupied. I went inside the bar so as not to attract attention. This was a pub, after all. Returning outside, drink in hand, I saw that a table close to the lift had become vacant. Taking a seat, I settled down there to wait.

  I recognised her straight away, looking around anxiously, her long hair swinging around her head, just like mine used to do when I had been her age. She couldn’t have been more than thirty and was possibly still in her early twenties. Undeniably pretty, she moved with a kind of natural grace. I was unexpectedly overcome by pity for this young woman who had been strung along by my feckless husband. It was hard to believe he could have been planning to leave me and Dan for a girl almost young enough to be his daughter. I wondered if she knew about Dan. Either way Paul had behaved despicably, planning to betray us or her. I would never know who he had chosen.

  As if in a dream, I watched a stout woman in a green jacket toil up the stairs a few moments after Bella. They were too far away for me to catch what they said to each other, but there appeared to be altercation. The woman in the green jacket drew back, waving her arms as if to fend off the white-shirted girl who followed her inside.

  ‘You’re crazy! Crazy cow!’ I heard the woman in the green jacket shouting as she disappeared into the pub with Bella at her heels.

  I had watched Paul’s mistress for long enough. There was no point in following her into the pub.

  With a sense of closure, I stood up and left. My rival was like a younger version of me. I supposed Paul had been going through what was generally referred to as a mid-life crisis. Only in his case the crisis had come at the end of his life.

  7

  When I arrived home that evening, there was a message on the landline from Nina who had phoned to say she wanted to speak to me urgently. It was only eight o’clock, so I called her back at once. She told me she had tried my mobile but that must have been while I was on the underground. Assuming she was concerned about my state of mind, I assured her I was all right, but without explaining what was on her mind, she insisted that we needed to talk.

  ‘What about?’

  ‘It's complicated.’

  I was already late calling Dan. Sensing that Nina was going to take a while to get to the point, I said I would call her back once I had spoken to my in-laws, and she had to be satisfied with that.

  ‘Don’t forget to call me,’ she insisted. ‘It doesn’t matter how late it is.’

  Having satisfied myself that Dan, his grandparents, Stella and Mark,

  were coping as well as they could in the tragic circumstances, I rang off, after promising to call them again the next evening. By that time, I hoped to be able to give them more details about how Paul had died, and when we could start planning the funeral.

  ‘It’s all up in the air now,’ I told Stella. ‘As soon as they release the body we’ll start discussing the arrangements. I won’t do anything without speaking to you first.’

  Almost as soon as I hung up, my phone rang. It was Nina.

  ‘I was just about to call you back,’ I told her.

  ‘I really have to speak to you.’

  ‘What is it?’

  After all her insistence on speaking to me, she grew hesitant.

  ‘What is it? What’s up?’

  ‘I don't quite know how to tell you-’

  ‘What?’

  ‘The police have been here asking questions.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ I felt a frisson of unease. ‘What questions? What about?’

  ‘They were asking about you.’

  ‘About me? What about me?’

  ‘I may have got this all wrong, but I think they suspect Paul was murdered.’

  ‘What?’

  Once again, the room began to reel. First, I had learned Paul had a mistress, then he went and died on me, and now this.

  Remembering the police officers who had taken all our electronic devices away with them the previous day, I wondered what else they had found.

  ‘That’s ridiculous!’ I protested. ‘He was at home in bed when he died.’

  ‘I know. Listen, Julie. You don’t think they’ll suspect you, do you?’

  ‘No, of course not. Why should they?’

  ‘Only that you were there with him.’

  ‘But why would they think I killed him?’

  ‘You had just found out he was seeing another woman,’ Nina pointed out.

  ‘So?’

  ‘So, you had a motive.’

  ‘But they don’t know about that. Nina, you mustn't tell them,’ I burst out, realising the danger that threatened me. ‘Promise me you won’t say anything. Promise me!’ I repeated, my voice rising in alarm.

  Assuring me she knew I would never have done anything to hurt Paul, Nina told me not to worry. But as we hung up, I remembered that Katie also knew about Paul’s infidelity. I had to speak to her before the police did.

  Her husband, Tony, answered the phone.

  ‘Julie? Do you know what time it is?’ he said when he heard who was calling.

  ‘I know it’s late, but I need to speak to Katie urgently.’

  There was a pause during which I thought I heard muffled voices.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he said, sounding faintly hostile, ‘she can’t talk to you right now.’

  ‘Please, this is important. I have to speak to her.’

  There was another pause. This time the phone went silent, as though he had put his hand over the receiver.

  After what felt like ages, he came back on the line. ‘I’m sorry, she’s gone to bed.’

  Before I could reply, Katie’s voice broke in. She sounded upset, and almost shouted at me, ‘Why did you do it?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘The police were here this evening asking questions about you and Paul and your relationship. Why would they do that? You know what they were after. I’m not an idiot, Julie. I can work out what happened-’

  ‘Katie, I haven’t done anything wrong. You must believe me. I’m the injured party in all this. But listen, don’t tell them I knew about Paul’s mistress, or they’re bound to jump to the wrong conclusion.’

  ‘How could you do it?’

  ‘You’re not listening to me, Katie. I haven’t done anything. I wouldn’t. I couldn’t. I... I loved Paul.’

  ‘How could you? However, much he hurt you, however badly betrayed you felt, nothing could excuse what you did. You could have left him, thrown him out, divorced him, but this-’

  ‘Please, calm down and think about what you're saying. If I was seriously going to kill him, would I have told you about Bella?’

  ‘All that proves is that it might not have been premeditated.’

  ‘Katie, I didn’t do anything. You must believe me. When I got home, I was so sloshed I could hardly stand upright, let alone overpower a grown man. I just crashed out straight away, and he was dead when I woke up in the morning. He might already have been dead when I got home, o
nly I was too far gone to notice.’

  She put the phone down. Panicking, I called her back, but Tony told me she didn't want to speak to me, and I wasn’t to phone her again. If the police hadn’t put such a terrible suspicion into her head, it would never have occurred to her to accuse me of murdering Paul. I found it hard to believe she would think that of me. But whatever happened, I had to protect Dan from suspecting his mother had killed his father. Whether or not it was true, he would never recover from hearing the suggestion. It was nearly midnight, but this couldn’t wait. I had to persuade Katie that she was mistaken in suspecting I had killed Paul, and she had to be convinced of my innocence before Dan returned. I still had two weeks to change her mind, but I didn't know what she had already told the police.

  By midnight I was knocking on Katie’s front door. After a few minutes, an upstairs window opened, and Tony peered out.

  ‘Who the hell is that?’

  ‘I need to speak to Katie.’

  He disappeared. I waited. When nothing else happened, I knocked again.

  ‘Go away before you wake the neighbours,’ he hissed at me from the same window.

  ‘I’m not leaving until I’ve spoken to Katie.’

  ‘If you don’t go right now, I’ll call the police. And we’ll tell them how you’ve been harassing her and warning her not to talk to them.’

  ‘I never said anything of the kind!’ I replied, aghast at the turn things were taking. ‘Please, I just want to talk to her.’

  ‘Go away, before I call the police. She’s already upset enough about all this.’

  ‘She’s upset?’

  ‘She thought you were her friend.’

  ‘We still are friends, as far as I’m concerned. Please, just let me talk to her.’

  The window slammed shut.

  ‘Some friend you turned out to be!’ I called out.