The Surgeon's New-Year Wedding Wish

by Laura Iding

  He stared at her in surprised shock.

  She gave his arm a hard shake, trying to snap him out of it. “Did you hear me? I love you.”

  His eyes widened and he took a hasty step backward, pulling out of her grasp. “No. Don’t say that. You don’t love me. You can’t.”

  “Quinn.” She reached for him, but he shook his head and stepped away.

  “No. I can’t do this. I’m sorry, Leila.” He turned and disappeared into the crowd gathering on the dance floor in front of the DJ who was asking for the bride and the groom to start off the first dance.

  She tried to find Quinn in the crowd, but couldn’t. Her heart squeezed in her chest. Had he left? No, Danny was still there, on the dance floor, having abandoned his crutches. He was trying to imitate Ben’s dance moves in spite of his bulky walking cast.

  Quinn hadn’t left, but he wasn’t open to talking to her anymore either.

  Her shoulders sagged and she ran her fingers through her hair. This was worse than she’d thought. This wasn’t just about Quinn being protective of Danny. The problem was deeper, much deeper than that. It was Quinn himself, closing himself off to love. To having a future.

  She collapsed into a chair and closed her eyes. What on earth could she say to him? How could she convince him to give their love a chance?

  She wasn’t sure there was a way to reach him. Especially as he hadn’t admitted he loved her.

  Maybe he wasn’t capable of love. Other than for his son.

  Despair sucked the air from her lungs, making her stomach cramp painfully.

  This might not be a battle she was able to win.

  Leila couldn’t leave the wedding without saying goodbye to Seth and Kylie, and since they were entwined in each other’s arms on the dance floor, she tapped her foot and waited for them to finish.

  “Alyssa!” Ben shrieked, as he dashed across the room when Jadon and Alyssa walked in. They’d been at the ceremony, but had skipped dinner, going home to take care of the twins before returning to the reception.

  “Hi, Ben,” Alyssa greeted the boy, bending over to give him a big hug. “How are you?”

  “Good. How’re the twins?” he asked.

  Alyssa laughed. “Growing like weeds.”

  Leila approached, glad to see Alyssa and Jadon were doing so well. She was sure that raising premature twin girls was trying, but the two of them still glowed with happiness. A happiness she envied.

  “Who’s your new friend?” Alyssa asked because Danny had followed Ben like a shadow.

  “This is my friend Danny. He couldn’t talk before but now he can.”

  Alyssa shot Jadon a puzzled look, before smiling at the boy. “Hi, Danny, it’s nice to meet you.”

  Danny ducked his head shyly. Leila glanced around, looking for Quinn, but he was over at the bar, deep in conversation with Simon Carter.

  “Danny is Quinn’s son,” Leila explained, placing a reassuring hand on Danny’s shoulder.

  “Quinn?” Alyssa asked with a frown. Then her eyes widened. “You mean Dr. Torres?”

  “Yes, exactly.” Leila remembered on Quinn’s first day in the trauma bay how he’d jumped all over Alyssa, threatening to call Security as she hadn’t been officially on duty when she’d helped out a coworker. “I see you remember him, but don’t worry, Quinn Torres has mellowed out since that day he threatened to call Security on you. He’s a great physician.”

  “Yeah, if you say so,” Alyssa said doubtfully.

  “Would you like something to drink?” Jadon asked, including Leila in his question.

  “Just a caffeine-free ginger ale,” Alyssa said with a deep sigh.

  Leila smiled, knowing Alyssa couldn’t drink while she was breastfeeding. “I’ll have the same. I’m on call later,” she said to Jadon.

  “Be right back.” He disappeared, heading over to the bar.

  “Alyssa, will you dance with me?” Ben asked.

  Alyssa looked surprised and pleased. “Well, certainly, Ben. I’d love to dance.”

  They walked onto the dance floor. Ben took both of her hands in his and then carefully stepped from side to side, his tongue sticking out between his teeth as he concentrated on not stepping on his partner’s feet.

  “Will you dance with me?” Danny surprised Leila by taking her hand in his.

  She hesitated, knowing Quinn wouldn’t like it, but then couldn’t bring herself to refuse him. Not when his large dark eyes warily waited for her response. She smiled gently. “Of course, Danny. I’d love to dance with you.”

  She towered over Danny, and his movements were limited with his cast, but he was sweetly earnest in his attempt to dance with her, copying Ben’s steps the best he could.

  This was how great it could be, if Quinn would only give her a chance. She loved Quinn and already cared deeply about his son. Her eyes welled with tears, and she blinked them away, telling herself she’d leave right after this last dance.

  Halfway through the song, Jadon came up behind Ben, tapping him lightly on the shoulder. “Hey, there, mind if I take over for a while?”

  “I’ll dance with you again, Ben, don’t worry,” Alyssa assured the boy.

  “Okay.” Ben relinquished control and allowed Jadon to sweep Alyssa close. Watching Jadon as he ardently kissed Alyssa made her want to cry all over again.

  “Hey, Danny, mind if I cut in?”

  Simon stood behind Danny and Leila had to swallow her disappointment because he wasn’t Quinn.

  “Sure,” Danny said, seemingly relieved to be given the opportunity to hobble over to Ben.

  She tried to smile. “Hi, Simon.”

  “Hi, yourself,” he answered with a wide grin, taking her into his arms but not holding her too close. “You look gorgeous tonight, Leila.”

  “Thanks.” She wished, not for the first time, that she’d been attracted to Simon. He was single, good-looking and a great guy.

  But there had never been any spark of attraction between them. Simon was nice, but he wasn’t the man she wanted.

  She wanted Quinn.

  Why had she fallen for the one man who didn’t want anything to do with having a permanent relationship?

  The DJ played another waltz and Simon kept right on dancing, although she found herself subtly glancing around for Seth and Kylie. She was leaving right after this dance, regardless of where the bride and groom happened to be. If Seth and Kylie weren’t around for her to say goodbye, too bad.

  A wedding, especially one on New Year’s Eve, was the last place to be when your heart was breaking.

  Quinn sipped his drink, a dry martini, and watched his son ask Leila to dance.

  His heart twisted painfully as they approached the dance floor, Danny’s step uneven with the walking cast, knowing he was being ridiculous to be jealous of his six-year-old son. Yet they looked good together. His son liked Leila, he could tell. She was gentle with him, teasing him and making him laugh.

  He’d been so adamant that Danny didn’t need a mother, but maybe he was wrong. Danny was on the road to recovering from the trauma he’d suffered when Celeste had died.

  As he watched Leila, another thought nagged at him. What if Leila decided to give up on him? What if she decided to move on with someone else? Like Simon Carter? Or Michael Hendricks?

  Who Leila chose to see was none of his business. He’d walked away from her, told her they didn’t have a future. Yet the more he stood there, imagining her turning to one of the single guys at Cedar Bluff like Simon or Michael, the angrier he got.

  What in the hell was wrong with him? He didn’t want a wife, but he wanted Leila. And he didn’t want anyone else to have her either.

  “I think I’ll cut in on Ben,” Jadon said. “The poor kid has a serious case of hero-worship for Alyssa, but with the twins home, we’re lucky to have any time alone together. I want to dance with my fiancée.”

  “Good idea. I’ll come with you and cut in on Danny,” Simon chimed in.

  Quinn sent him a sharp
glance and Simon pretended to ignore him. He wanted to protest, to say, Back off, buddy, she’s mine. But he kept his mouth shut. This was a free country; he couldn’t stop Leila from dancing with whomever she chose. He couldn’t do anything but watch helplessly as Jadon and Simon left him alone at the bar.

  The two men wove through the crowd of dancers, each claiming their new partners. His jaw tense, Quinn tortured himself by watching, unable to tear his gaze from Simon and Leila.

  They made a nice-looking couple. Leila was beautiful in her long green gown and Simon, formally dressed in his tux, was a perfect match for her, laughing down at something Leila was saying.

  He had to restrain himself from marching over and planting his fist into Simon’s laughing face.

  Dammit, he shouldn’t be torturing himself like this. But it was no use. He didn’t want to see Leila with another man. Not now, not ever.

  Because she belonged with him.

  He loved her. The shocking realization hit hard. He loved her, but he was desperately afraid of being a husband and messing things up, the way everything had gone wrong with Celeste.

  Yet at the same time he couldn’t let Leila move on to someone else.

  The slow dance finally ended and he tossed back the rest of his martini before crossing over to where couples were leaving the dance floor. Simon watched him approach, flashing him a knowing smirk, betraying the fact he’d purposefully asked Leila to dance just to get to Quinn. A fact that did not make him the least bit happy.

  His warning glare told Simon to back off. He held her arm before she could disappear into the crowd. “Leila, wait.”

  She swung to face him, and when recognition dawned, her eyes darkened with apprehension. “Danny asked me to dance and I didn’t want to disappoint him by refusing,” she said in a rush.

  “I know,” he said, feeling like a jerk because it was clear she expected him to be angry. “I saw him ask you and I’m glad you didn’t hurt his feelings. May I have the next dance?”

  “I, uh, don’t think so.” She avoided his gaze. “I’m, uh, leaving. Gosh, where are Seth and Kylie? I keep missing them.”

  She was running away because he’d hurt her. Panic made him tighten his grip on her hand. “Leila, please. One dance.”

  She wanted to brush him off, he could tell, but she finally nodded and allowed him to lead her onto the crowded dance floor.

  He pulled her into his arms, holding her close. She fit in his embrace perfectly. He wanted to kiss her, but she kept her head angled away from his, as if trying to keep a respectable distance between them.

  “I’m so glad Danny’s doing better,” she murmured. “He seems to be talking all the time now.”

  “Yeah, and I’ll never get tired of listening.”

  “No, I’m sure you won’t.” Her smile was brittle.

  “Leila, I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be.” Her chin lifted a notch. “I’m a big girl, I’ll get over you.”

  But he didn’t want her to get over him. He wasn’t explaining himself well at all. “I’m sorry I hurt you,” he said. “But I’ve already failed once at being a husband. Do you blame me for being cautious?”

  Leila was quiet for a moment. “Did you ever think that it was Celeste who failed you?”

  His head snapped back in surprise. What was she talking about? “It was my fault. She was depressed, but being with me, being married to me, made her worse.”

  “No.” She looked up at him now. “You can’t really believe that. A marriage takes two people. Your wife was sick, but she could have gotten help. She could have asked for a divorce. She had plenty of options.”

  “There aren’t a lot of options when you’re depressed, it’s part of the disease.” And looking back, he knew he had to take some accountability. “I wasn’t home enough,” he said, repeating the words Celeste had flung at him in bitter anger. “I didn’t love her enough.”

  “Maybe you didn’t,” she agreed. “But we don’t have control over our feelings. We can’t make something out of nothing, no matter how much we want to.”

  He swallowed hard, knowing she was right. She’d nailed the source of the deep guilt he’d lived with. That he hadn’t loved Celeste enough. Had wanted to help her to get better, but had been unable to love her the way she’d needed to be loved.

  It was sobering to admit he hadn’t loved Celeste the way he loved Leila.

  “Besides, if you ask me, she didn’t love you enough either. Or her son. She was obviously very sick, or she wouldn’t have taken her own life, especially putting her own son at risk. Her death was a tragedy, but you must know it’s not all your fault. You can’t keep beating yourself up over her illness.”

  “I should have helped her.” That much he firmly believed.

  “Maybe, but she also had to want to help herself.”

  He drew a deep breath and let it out slowly, absorbing her words. He had tried to help her, but Celeste hadn’t listened. She’d refused to go to counseling. He hadn’t been able to force her into treatment, not without proving she was a danger to herself. And he hadn’t known she had been until it had been too late.

  Leila was right. He couldn’t keep punishing himself for Celeste’s death. But he was afraid of starting over. Of failing.

  “I love you, Quinn,” she told him. “And it doesn’t matter if you return those feelings for me or not, I’ll still love you. Now and forever.”

  His arms tightened around her. “I’m afraid,” he admitted in a low voice.

  She surprised him by smiling. “That’s okay. Being in love is scary.”

  She was trying to make light of it, to help him relax, but so far it wasn’t working. “I don’t think you understand. I’m afraid I’ll mess up. How do you know I’m not a bad husband?”

  “How do you know I’m not a bad wife?” she countered.

  Okay, now she was being ridiculous. “You had two wonderful years with George.”

  “Quinn, every marriage has its ups and downs, its problems and its celebrations. George and I were no exception. I loved him, but he wasn’t perfect. And he thought I was obsessed with my past because I didn’t know anything about who my parents are or what genes or prevalent diseases run in my family. And maybe he was right, as I’ve spent hours on the Internet, trying to find my birth mother.” She sounded totally serious when she added, “Trust me, I’m no prize. I’m sure we’ll both make mistakes. It’s part of learning how to be partners.”

  “Partners,” he murmured. The concept was foreign but hearing Leila say it with such conviction gave him hope. “I like the sound of that.”

  Her smile was tremulous. “Me, too.”

  He pulled her close. It was the eve of a new year and she’d just given him a new chance at love. “I love you, Leila. And I’m willing to spend my life proving it to you.”

  Her eyes misted. “You already have,” she whispered.

  EPILOGUE

  QUINN pulled Danny close and straightened his small dress shirt. The boy squirmed, not too thrilled with the dressing-up part of his dad’s plan.

  “How come we have to look nice?” Danny wanted to know. “Leila already likes us, right?”

  Quinn tried not to let on just how nervous he was. “Yes, she likes us. We dressed up to let her know how much we care.”

  Danny shrugged, his gaze still puzzled, and Quinn could tell his logic went right over his son’s head. The doorbell pealed.

  “She’s here!” Danny headed over to open the front door.

  He drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. He wasn’t nervous. Had no reason to be nervous because he did believe what he’d told his son. He was certain of Leila’s love. And of his love for her.

  But this was a big step. For him. Putting the past to rest once and for all.

  He followed Danny into the living room, his heart swelling with love when he saw Leila smiling down at his son.

  “Danny, you look so nice all dressed up.”

  “Thanks.” Danny made
a face that was mostly a grimace.

  Quinn crossed over to Leila, brushing a light kiss on her mouth when he really wanted to haul her close and kiss her senseless. “Hi, Leila. Let me take your coat.”

  “Hi, Quinn.” She kissed him back and then sniffed the air. “Mmm. Something smells delicious. Thanks for inviting me over for dinner. I had no idea you could cook.”

  “I’m full of surprises,” he teased, although in truth he’d had to take a crash course in cooking from Delores, and he couldn’t totally vouch for the meal he was about to serve, but he had done his best. One would think his Italian genes would help a little when making homemade lasagna.

  “I helped toss the salad,” Danny said loudly. “And me and Dad have a plan.”

  Quinn wanted to slap a hand over his son’s big mouth. Their plan had been to wait until after dinner to serve Leila her engagement ring with dessert. But he suspected Danny wasn’t going to be able to keep their plan a secret for much longer.

  “A plan?” Leila sent him a confused look and nodded. “Well, it is good to have a plan when you’re making a meal.”

  Now Danny looked confused, and Quinn made a quick decision. “Danny, I need you to help me in the kitchen for a minute. Leila, have a seat on the sofa. Would you like a glass of wine?”

  “I’d love one, thanks.”

  Quinn practically dragged Danny into the kitchen. “Okay, we’re changing the plan. How about we give Leila the ring now and pop the question before dinner?”

  “Yeah!” Danny readily agreed.

  “I need to get her wine first.” Quinn opened the bottle of wine, realizing his hands were sweating. Taking another deep breath, he swiped his damp palms on his slacks, told himself to calm down and then poured two glasses of wine before turning to Danny. “Do you have the ring?”

  Walking on his cast without the crutches, Danny went over to the counter where they had the ring box discreetly hidden behind the chocolate cake, also made with Delores’s help once Quinn had learned Leila had a weakness for chocolate. “Got it.”