Through The Fire (Guardians, Inc. Book 2)

by Belle Calhoune

  “When you left, I wanted to die. I had to keep reminding myself that you weren’t worth dying for. I tried to convince myself that our love was just an illusion, a trick of the human heart. But as time went by I came to realize that it wasn’t an illusion...it was real, and you killed it. After you left I could still smell the scent of your hair, that scent of vanilla that hovered about you like a halo. I could still remember how your skin felt against mine...so soft.” His voice lessened to a whisper as he said, “You broke my heart.”

  Caleb hoisted himself off of the fence and viciously kicked a mound of dirt, watching with deadened eyes as a cloud of dirt swirled around in the air. With his hand clenched in a fist at his side, he turned away from her and began walking toward Hollis’ truck, every line of his body betraying his inner turmoil.

  “Caleb!” she called out, knowing that they needed to talk things through if they were ever to find a way out of the darkness that was swallowing them up. Although she knew he heard her calling him, he continued to walk away from her, his steps sure and strong.

  “Please, Caleb,” she begged, “please, come back to me.”

  As she watched him climb into Hollis’ truck and listened as he revved the engine, she made one last attempt to make him listen. She ran towards the truck like lightning, her legs moving faster than she’d ever thought possible. Once she reached the truck, she banged her fists against the window, her face practically plastered against the glass in an attempt to force Caleb to look at her. When Caleb finally turned toward her he looked angry enough to kill. His eyes were filled with a pulsating rage that radiated through the pane of glass, a blazing anger that left her trembling and frightened.

  The truck disappeared into the velvety night, taking all of her hope with it. Why hadn’t she told him about her own pain and loss? She'd told him none of it. What about her loneliness? What about her broken heart? She didn’t dare tell him how much she’d hated New York when she’d moved there and the total desolation she’d felt being so alone in a huge city that had nearly eaten her up alive.

  She hadn’t dared to tell him that every time it rained she remembered the first time they’d ever kissed on that rainy afternoon. She didn’t get a chance to tell him how she’d clung to an old football shirt that he’d given her, a shirt she’d slept with every night for three years straight. A shirt that smelled of warm, spring nights and Johnson’s baby oil. A shirt that had belonged to the boy who’d stolen her heart as surely as she’d given hers away.

  She hadn’t told him any of those things, although she’d been hoping that if he looked closely enough he would’ve seen it. Long ago they’d been able to look into each other eyes and see the truth radiating from within. They'd always been able to ferret out each other’s secrets and truths. But, she reminded herself, many years had come and gone since they’d shared such an intimate connection. Had too much time gone by? Was it possible to reclaim what they’d lost so long ago? Or was it a shadowy will-of-the-wisp, something fleeting that now lay out of reach?

  The look on his face when she’d told him the truth - stark pain mingled with utter disillusionment - had almost been enough to drive her to her knees. It had been far worse than the blazing anger he’d shown towards her before he’d driven off into the night. Once again, without meaning to, she’d caused him unimaginable pain. And when he’d driven away from her in a cloud of dust and smoke, his tires squealing into the night, it had felt like goodbye.

  Chapter Nine

  Sierra didn’t sleep a wink all night. She tossed and turned for a couple hours, ending up pacing the length of her room until dawn, exhausting herself in the process. Over and over again she replayed the scene from last night, wishing that she could turn back the clock and handle the situation differently. Try as she might, she couldn’t think of any easy way that she could’ve broken the news to Caleb. She’d owed Caleb the unvarnished truth and that’s exactly what she’d given him. In turn he’d interpreted the truth as her being deceitful and manipulative.

  By morning she was delirious with fatigue and suffering from a raging headache. Even though she was bone-tired, she couldn’t afford to sleep in. Today she was overseeing the branding and marking of a herd of new cattle they’d received from an operation out in Wyoming. As her grandmother had always said, it was important to establish ownership of the cattle as soon as possible so that the cattle weren’t vulnerable to rustlers. Regardless of the regulations handed down by the cattlemen’s stock association, Sierra knew from experience that rustlers always found new and innovative ways of burning off or otherwise altering brands. Sierra was determined not to let anything like that happen under her watch, particularly when her gut instinct was warning her that someone was out there waiting to strike out again at the Diamond Lil.

  Before heading out to the Diamond Lil to catch a glimpse of Morning Star and Twinkle, she planned on grabbing something hot and hearty for breakfast. She was anxious to see how the new mama and baby were doing this morning. After checking in on the horses she’d head towards the southern pasture where the new herd of cattle was corralled and begin the branding process.

  Upon entering the kitchen she mumbled a sleepy good morning to Minnie and plopped down on one of the old but comfortable chairs that had been a permanent fixture in the kitchen for as long as she could remember. She helped herself to a plate full of eggs, grits and bacon, knowing that she would need all of her strength for the full day that awaited her at the ranch. Some days things were so hectic at the ranch that the crew never broke for lunch, continuing to work right through til sundown.

  “Hmmph! Everyone around here is in a fine mood this morning,” Minnie announced with a saucy twist to her lips. “Your brother was marching himself around here this morning in a fine state, let me tell you. And your daddy flew out of here a little while ago like his feet was on fire. And now here you are with your drawers in a twist.” Minnie shook her head and continued sponging down the stove. “Don’t make no kind of sense.”

  “My mood is fine, Minnie,” Sierra said as she filled her mouth with eggs, then swallowed. “I’m just a little tired, that’s all.”

  “Seems to me you might have thought of that before you came straggling into the house in the wee hours of the morning,” Minnie said in a disapproving tone, her lips pursed so as to let Sierra know that she wasn’t happy with her.

  Patiently, Sierra responded, “I didn’t get in until the wee hours of the morning, Minnie, because I was at the Diamond Lil watching Morning Star’s foal being born. Didn’t Aunt Simone tell anyone?”

  Minnie sniffed and said, “She told us. But that don’t explain why Simone made it back to the Homestead an hour before you did, missy.”

  “Minnie!” Sierra said in a warning voice. “I’m old enough to make my own curfew and I’ll thank you not to watch my comings and goings.”

  Minnie snorted and said, “Don’t flatter yourself, child. The sound of that rattletrap car you were driving woke me up out of a dead sleep. I couldn’t get back to sleep if my life depended on it, specially when you started stomping up those stairs like an elephant on the prowl.”

  Sierra shook her head in disbelief at Minnie’s exaggerated version of last night’s events. “I was not stomping, Minnie. I was simply walking up the stairs. Very quietly, I might add.” Sierra poured herself a cup of coffee, generously adding two spoonfuls of sugar and a large amount of cream. “I’m sorry if I woke you,” she added as an after thought.

  Minnie nodded her head in acceptance of Sierra’s apology and said, “Well, did you tell him or not?”

  Sierra held her coffee in mid-air, her mouth hanging open in shock at Minnie’s boldness and her incredible knack for always knowing more about a situation than seemed humanly possible. Somehow she’d known that Caleb had been at the Diamond Lil last night and now she wanted to know if Sierra had told him the truth. “I guess it wouldn’t do any good to pretend that I don’t know what you’re talking about?” Sierra asked. “You’ll just keep on
pushing and prodding.”

  “Nope,” said Minnie with a grin. “The truth always comes out whether by hook or by crook.”

  “Ain’t it the truth, Minnie,” Sierra said with a sad shake of her head, her eyes reflecting her disillusionment with the truth. “Only sometimes when it finally comes out it’s not exactly what some people want to hear.”

  “Hmm. I take it your young man didn’t take the news too well.”

  Sierra stared into her coffee mug, her eyes glazing over as she recalled the events of last night and the pained expression that Caleb’s anger couldn’t hide. With a sigh she said, “Nope. Caleb was madder than I’ve ever seen him. He blames me for everything,” she explained. “He practically called me a liar to my face. And then he walked away from me, no doubt for good this time. And he’s not really my young man either.”

  Minnie shrugged her shoulders and said, “He’ll come around. And if he don’t - then he ain’t worth the pain or the aggravation.”

  With a look of astonishment on her face, Sierra said, “Wait a minute, Minnie! Just yesterday you were telling me to go after Caleb...and now you’re saying he’s probably not worth it.” Sierra raked her fingers through her hair and dropped her head onto the table, a huge sigh of frustration dragged from her lips. “Why did I ever listen to you in the first place?”

  “Darlin’, I see living in that big city back East hasn’t made you any smarter. When are you going to stand up and take responsibility for yourself?” Minnie clucked disapprovingly and gently pulled up Sierra’s chin so that she was looking straight at her. “It don’t matter what I think or what nobody else thinks! You’ve got to make this decision on your own, because you’re the one who’s got to live with the consequences. Lord, I use to tell Miss Lilliana all the time that she placed too much pressure on you. You were always so busy trying to please everyone that you never worried about pleasing yourself.”

  In a brash voice she continued, “Sierra, you have a lot of lovely qualities...compassion, kindness, determination. But the one thing you’ve never learned how to do is to trust yourself. And if you love this Caleb Matthews as much as you profess to...you’ve got to trust him too. Or the two of you ain’t going have no kind of future together.”

  Sierra smiled at Minnie and said, “Have you always been this smart, Minnie? Or is it one of the many benefits of old age?”

  Minnie let out a loud laugh and said, “As far back as I can remember, chile I’ve been as wise as an old owl. Why do you think I’ve always stayed single all these years? No man would put up with a woman who mouths off all the time like I do.”

  Sierra leaned over in her chair towards Minnie and warmly kissed her on the cheek, then wrapped her arms around the older woman and enveloped her in a tight hug. “Thank you, Minnie,” she said in a muffled voice, “for reminding me that I still have a Grammy when I need one.” Abruptly, Sierra got up from her chair, grabbed her cowboy hat and exited the kitchen by the back door, her steps full of purpose as she walked out of the house.

  She knew if she stayed in Minnie’s kitchen any longer she’d turn into a weeping, puffy-eyed mess. She couldn’t afford to break down. Not now. Not when so many people were counting on her to get things done and to resolve the issues of the vandalism at the Diamond Lil. For once in her life she wasn’t going to buckle under the pressure and bail.

  Within seconds Minnie heard the truck being started and she knew that Sierra was heading out to work the ranch. At least out there, Minnie thought, Sierra could forget her problems with her young man for a while and throw herself into the business of running a ranch.

  Minnie looked up at the heavens, huge worry lines dotting her forehead, her eyes wide and anxious as she whispered, “Say a prayer for your grand baby, Lilliana. I think she’s gonna need it.”

  ***

  When Sierra arrived at the Diamond Lil she knew instinctively that something was wrong. For some inexplicable reason she’d felt anxious and on edge during the ride over toward the stables. It was the same feeling she’d had last night when she’d first arrived at the ranch with Caleb. Unsettled. Wary. Nervous. She couldn’t fathom why she felt this way, but her feelings increased in intensity as she parked her vehicle.

  Standing around in a huddle outside the stables were a half-dozen ranch hands, along with Hollis, Bryce and her father. The sight of her father at the Diamond Lil served as a major tip-off that trouble was brewing. Her daddy never went out to the Diamond Lil, she reasoned, not if he could help it. And Minnie had mentioned earlier that her daddy had gone tearing out of he house in a big hurry. Why was he here? And if there was an emergency, why hadn’t she been called?

  “What’s going on here?” Sierra demanded as she jumped from the truck and raced towards the group, her heart thumping fast as a dozen possibilities crossed her mind. Had one of the ranch hands been hurt? Killed even? Why was everyone standing around like lost souls?

  The men exchanged nervous looks between them as they shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other, and no one, with the exception of her father, would make eye contact with her. Brock Jackson stood in the middle of the group, his grey business suit contrasting greatly with the rugged attire of the ranch hands. Clearly, her father had been on his way to the office when he’d received a call to come out to the Diamond Lil, hence his business-like attire.

  “What are you doing here, Daddy?” she asked in a low voice, her insides doing somersaults as she waited nervously for his answer. Mentally, she tried to steel herself for unpleasant news. “What’s happened?”

  Her father pulled her towards him, his face serious and composed as he said, “Baby, there’s been more trouble out here. Bad trouble.”

  Sierra braced herself for the bad news, knowing that it must be devastating if Hollis had called her father out to the ranch so that he could break the bad news to her. Even though part of her resented Hollis’s actions, another part of her was deeply comforted by her daddy’s presence at the ranch.

  “Honey, it’s Morning Star,” he said gently, his eyes showing compassion and a gentleness that made Sierra want to weep. “She’s been killed.”

  The words hit Sierra like a bomb blast going off in her face. Although she knew that her father wouldn’t lie about such a thing, her first instinct was to deny that such a thing could happen. Not to Morning Star!

  Not to her beautiful, loyal Morning Star! Who in the world would be so evil?

  The Diamond Lil had always been her haven, and now someone was turning it into a nightmare. And she had no clue why.

  “No!” She wailed, her knees buckling beneath her as the words sunk in. Her father took her in his arms as she sunk to the ground, his strong arms lifting her up and steadying her against him. Her grief suddenly turned to anger at the thought of someone deliberately doing Morning Star harm and she angrily kicked the dirt with her leather boot.

  “How?” she asked, reluctant to hear the shattering details, but realizing that she needed to know the truth.

  However painful it might be, it was her duty to listen.

  “She was shot, baby. From the looks of it she didn’t suffer any. I know that’s not much comfort, but it is a small blessing,” her father said with a grim smile, his voice filled with gentleness.

  “W-What about Twinkle?” she suddenly asked, her thoughts immediately turning to Morning Star’s foal.

  Twinkle was Sierra’s last link to Morning Star, and if she was alive, she thought wildly, at least a part of Morning Star would live on.

  “Twinkle?” her father asked, obviously confused about the name he’d never before heard mentioned.

  “Morning Star’s foal,” Sierra said in a raspy voice, barely able to get the words out of her mouth. “Her baby. We watched her being born last night.” Last night. Why did last night seem as if it was a million light years away?

  “Twinkle is fine,” her father said in a reassuring tone. “As long as she gets proper nourishment she’ll continue to thrive. She may or may not want to e
at now that her momma’s gone. I’ll call Doc Skeritt and have him come down here later this morning to take a look at her.”

  “I’m sorry, Sierra. Truly sorry,” Bryce said as he walked towards her and patted her on the back in a comforting gesture. Weakly, Sierra smiled at Bryce, noting for the first time that the once pudgy boy had been transformed into a tall, good-looking young man. Having grown up with Bryce she knew that he was both gentle and sensitive, almost too much for his own good. As a child he’d been the target of bullies who’d teased him unmercifully about his size and the way he lisped his words. As the late-in-life child of Sam Jarvis, Bryce had been given the finest things money could buy. But Sierra suspected that the thing he wanted most, his father’s unconditional love and support, continued to elude him.

  Sierra turned towards Hollis, her eyes blazing with a fierce anger as she urgently pulled him aside from the others in the group so that she could talk to him in private. She needed to get something off her chest. Fast. She was in a dangerous frame of mind at the moment, a stick of dynamite ready to go off, and she feared that with the slightest provocation she would blow.

  “Hollis, I’m the owner of the Diamond Lil now. Morning Star is...was...my horse,” she said in an angry tone, her lips trembling with a mixture of emotion and rage. “Don’t you ever take it upon yourself to protect me. And don’t you ever call my Daddy down here to handle a situation before you call me. Got it?” She knew she was taking her anger on the situation out on him, but she needed to let him know that she was the boss and that she called the shots.

  “Yes’m.” Hollis’ face looked deeply chagrined upon hearing the anger in her voice and he held his stetson to his chest, his eyes downcast and somber. “If you’ll excuse us we’re going take the body...er, Morning Star down to the northern pasture and bury her out that way.”

  “No!” she said in a raised voice. “Morning Star is my horse. I’ll see that she gets buried in a special place, one that she liked to graze in and canter through. She needs a proper burial. And I’m going to see that she gets one.”