Wanting Mr. Cane

by Shanora Williams

  Oh, and I can’t forget to mention his charisma. His personality was made of gold, but sometimes I wondered if it exhausted him, having to be on top of things all the time. Having to stay uplifted and motivated and happy, just so everyone else in the room had the same energy. That kind of extroversion seemed absolutely draining.

  While Cane mingled and chatted, I sat with Dad on the front row, right in front of the window. We watched the game together for the most part. Dad made bets with me, and told me who was the best and who needed work.

  “Watch him,” Dad said. “The batter. They have to keep a close eye on him. He has a strong arm on him, and he’s as fast as lightning, I swear. He’s had three home runs already, and the season just started three weeks ago. Isn’t that crazy?”

  “Three already? Holy crap.”

  “Right.” Dad sipped his beer, leaning forward as he watched the batter wiggling his hips and adjusting his stance.

  My eyes wandered to the left, where Cane was standing at the bar, ordering drinks for a couple. The woman was mindlessly chatting. I think she was nervous. She was probably an employee. Her face turned beet red when Cane placed a hand on her shoulder and said something. She gave a simple nod, and I saw him mouth the words, “It’s okay. Really.” He said something else and then he excused himself.

  When he did, his eyes locked right on mine.

  His smile came naturally, and my pulse quickened as he crossed the room to get to me. “You guys having fun?” he asked, sipping the amber liquor in his glass.

  “Hell yeah, man,” Dad answered, not even looking at Cane.

  I snickered. “He’s really into this game.”

  Cane laughed. “I see that. Glad you’re enjoying yourself, D.”

  Dad didn’t respond, and Cane and I fought grins. I expected Cane to turn and make conversation with more of his employees, but instead, he sat down in the seat right beside me, placing his drink in the cup holder. His arm brushed mine as he ran his palm over the thigh of his slacks. A hard breath poured out of him, and I kept my gaze ahead, unable to deny my body’s reaction.

  My spine straightened, and my heart was beating even faster. My neck and hands felt hot all of a sudden, so I picked up my Mountain Dew and took a big gulp.

  “I love my employees and my job,” Cane started, “but if I don’t sit down, they’ll talk my head off all night.”

  At that, I looked at him and smiled. “Two hours of talking is good enough, I think.”

  “Should be.” He sipped from his glass while looking ahead, not really watching the game, more like staring off in the distance and thinking about something else entirely. “I’ll never admit this to them because I don’t need anyone around here taking a position with my company for granted, but it’s nice to hear how much Tempt has helped their families, and has even allowed some of them to achieve their goals. A few of them are interns, and since they’re working for free, the least we could do is give them a ticket for the game.” He looked to his left and pointed at one of the boys sitting at a table with a can of soda. He was talking to a really pretty blonde-haired girl. “He’s with the graphics department. From what my assistant tells me, he loves it. The girl sitting with him is with our modeling agency. She’s grateful for her position. Being a Tempt model has apparently gotten her a big following on Instagram. ”

  My brows dipped. “Modeling agency?”

  “Oh, yeah. I have a modeling agency for our adult line. Things you shouldn’t be worrying yourself about right now.” He fought a smile, picking up his glass and swirling the ice.

  “Damn right you don’t need to be worried about it,” Dad said, pushing to a stand. “Going for a beer. You guys want anything?”

  “I’ll take another Mountain Dew,” I told him.

  Cane simply shook his head and pointed to his glass. Dad took off, and I waited until he was out of earshot before asking, “You mean the adult line for the lingerie and edible body oils?”

  His eyebrows shot up, nearly touching his forehead. “How’d you know about that?”

  I stared at him. “There’s this thing called the Internet. I wanted to know more about the chocolates. Then I saw the lingerie tab. It’s cool, honestly. It all fits into the same thing—wine, chocolate, and lingerie. I’m eighteen, Cane. I’ve shopped for lingerie before.”

  He seemed uncomfortable with where the conversation was heading, shifting in his chair and loosening his tie with his free hand. “You’ve shopped for lingerie. For what?”

  I shrugged. “It makes me feel pretty, I guess.”

  “I see.”

  We were quiet a beat. Damn it, I’d made it awkward.

  “How are the models chosen?” I asked. He was clearly uncomfortable, and as badly as I wanted him to picture me in some of his lingerie, I wanted him to stay here beside me just as much.

  He relaxed, only a little, shoulders dropping. “We do auditions by doing photo shoots. The person auditioning has to be at least twenty-one because in some of the shoots, the women are using other Tempt products, like the wine, depending on the set.”

  “Oh. That sounds cool.” I fought a laugh.

  “What’s funny?” he asked, tilting his head to try and catch my eyes.

  I focused on running my thumbnail over my cuticle instead of looking at him. “I don’t know. It’s stupid.”

  “I’m sure it’s not.”

  “I don’t know,” I paused. “I always used to think I wanted to be a model. My best friend, Frankie, always tells me that I’m tall enough and pretty enough to be one. I guess it takes confidence to do that kind of modeling though. Like being half naked in front of so many cameras and stuff?”

  Cane blinked quickly and cleared his throat, making a choking noise right after. “Kandy, you are too damn blunt for your own good, you know that?”

  I shrugged. “Mom tells me to always express myself however I want. She doesn’t think it’s a bad thing, being this blunt.”

  “That blunt mouth of yours could get you into some serious trouble one day.” He finished off his drink and then sighed. “Say the wrong thing to the wrong person and they may take it as something else.”

  “Well then I’ll clarify myself for them so they understand.” He focused on my face for a few seconds, slightly shaking his head with that same smile. “What?” I threw my hands up, trying hard not to smile with him.

  “You,” he murmured. “You’re just too much sometimes, Kandy Cane.”

  Those words. His voice. I probably shouldn’t have taken it as much, but they made me feel untouchable. On top of the world. Was I too much for him? Did he like that I was too much? Was he tempted to test my limits, my boundaries?

  “Do you know why you’re really here tonight?” he asked.

  “No. Why?”

  “I wanted to congratulate you on your softball scholarship. It’s not easy getting an athletic scholarship at the college level. You have to be extremely good at your sport to get one.”

  “Yeah. People kept saying I was the best pitcher in our district. It’s only a one-year athletic scholarship, though. The coach probably wants to see how I play before putting me on a full ride.”

  “Doesn’t matter. You got one, which is more than a lot of people your age can say. I felt bad I couldn’t take off for your signing day, hence the reason I brought you double the notebooks and the gel pens you like.”

  “Thanks for that,” I laughed, my gaze dropping to the smile that had taken over his face. As much as I enjoyed our conversation, it felt wrong to keep thinking about how beautiful his smile was or how great he smelled. He was close enough for me to kiss him, hold his hand, even. My hand itched, dying to caress him, but I stayed in control. “I have a question for you.”

  “What’s that?” he inquired.

  “You always take my dad or me with you to little outings like this. Why don’t you ever take your family?”

  His lips smashed together, and if I weren’t mistaken, his nostrils even flared up a bit. He looked
away for a moment, and then released a heavy sigh. “They’re busy people,” he answered. “Plus, hanging with you and D is much more fun.” With that, he flashed his charming white smile, but I could tell it was forced. I’d struck a nerve, and felt bad for even asking the question. Cane never talked about his family. There was hardly any mention of them when you researched Tempt or Quinton Cane. It’s like he had no real family, just his good friends, the Jennings.

  “I’m proud of you for getting that scholarship though, Kandy. I really am.” He was creating a diversion, escaping our conversation. It was cool. I didn’t mind. I didn’t want things being weird, especially after how the lunch ended with us not even two weeks ago, when he had to drop me off to go to Kelly. He didn’t see it that way—would never see it that way—but I did. Cane was mine, whether he knew it or not. He was always going to be mine. I just wished I could tell him.

  “Kind of sucks you’ll be so far away though, huh?” His voice pulled me out of my cloudy thoughts, and I sat up a little higher with a nod.

  “Yeah. It will suck. I’ll miss getting chocolates and notebooks and being invited to baseball games in VIP boxes.”

  He laughed at that. “Well, I’m not sure if you’ll want to go to baseball games while you’re in school, but I can always have notebooks and chocolates shipped to you. As a matter of fact, now that we’re talking about this, what do you want as your going-away gift? I want to give you something better than chocolate and pens.”

  “Um…” I chewed on my bottom lip, giving it some thought. I wasn’t really sure. Mom had a list of everything she was going to get, and I had added to that list. She said she would get all of it, despite Dad’s griping about the things that were desires instead of necessities. “I’m not sure, but I have all summer to think about it. I’m sure there’ll be something that comes up that I want.”

  “Well, whatever you want, it’s yours, Bits. Nothing is too much or too pricey. Got it?”

  “Even a MacBook?” I asked.

  “Even a MacBook,” he chuckled.

  I nodded, still chewing on my bottom lip. “Got it.”

  The game was tied and had shifted into another inning. Dad was pumped. Of course the Braves won. After the game, we were back in Cane’s car. He took us home and bid us a goodnight. Dad was pretty hammered, so I helped him to the couch. He was lucky he didn’t have to work until the next night. He crashed on the couch and I went upstairs, giddily reliving the conversations I’d had with Cane.

  I’d even dreamt about him that night.

  The dream was so vivid that it lugged me out of my sleep. I woke up with a gasp, my panties damp, and my core tight and raw. My nipples were taut, prodding through the white camisole, and I don’t know why, but I was working hard to catch my breath.

  Holy shit. I’d dreamt of Cane using his mouth on me. Everywhere. Sucking. Licking. Tasting.

  I had a hard time going back to sleep. I was so wound up.

  The next morning, I felt the weight of my secret crush hit me hard as Dad made me coffee, whipped up some pancakes, and cut up some fruit for me, despite his obvious hangover. I felt awful because there I was, crushing on his best friend, dying to do things with him that would have sent my father over the edge if he knew.

  What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I get over this stupid crush already? It was almost like the more time I spent around Cane, the more I craved him.

  Maybe it was a good thing I was going to college. I would be away from him for months, and would probably forget all about the crush when I had an entire university of hot guys to choose from.

  I told myself I would forget Cane eventually, but deep down, I knew it wouldn’t happen. When someone is on your mind day and night, how do you possibly forget them?

  It didn’t help that there was a delivery the day after my guilt trip. Mom brought the box up to my room and left me to open it. It was packaged nicely, wrapped in purple and white tissue paper, and was made out to me, but didn’t say whom it was from. Inside was a stack of notebooks, pens, and…a MacBook. A fucking MacBook! At the sight of the laptop, I knew it could only be from one person.

  I couldn’t believe it.

  I’d been using Mom’s computer for most of my research and schoolwork, but a laptop? I squealed. I squealed so loudly that Mom rushed back to my room to ask what was wrong. When I showed her, she couldn’t believe it herself.

  “Well, I guess we can scratch that off the list, huh? And look, it’s the rose gold one you wanted!”

  “I know!”

  “It has to be from Cane. He spoils you, you know that?” She pursed her lips. “He’d better put a lid on that before he ends up broke!” She laughed on her way to the door. “Make sure you call him and thank him!” When she left me to it, I grabbed my phone and called right away.”

  He answered after the third ring. Yes, I counted. I always counted the rings, the minutes, the hours, and the days—especially the days when he wasn’t around. The longest he’d gone without visiting was three weeks.

  “Hey, Bits,” he answered.

  “Hi, Cane. So, um…I got a delivery today. Judging by how expensive it is, I’m pretty sure it’s from you.”

  “Really? Hmm… I don’t remember sending a package. What was in it?”

  “Oh my gosh, don’t play dumb. I know it’s from you, Cane! The MacBook? Dad refused to get me the Mac, so I know it wasn’t from him. I’m so excited right now!”

  Cane chuckled, and I swear it made the tightness at my core even tighter. I wanted to drop the phone and run to him. Run as fast as I could, jump into his arms, and kiss him. “I’m glad you’re excited about it, Kandy. It’s the least I could do.”

  “The least? Are you kidding me? This is…it’s so great, Cane. Thank you so much. Seriously.”

  “You’re welcome. I still want you to think about a going-away gift you’d like before you go. This was a gift from me because your parents were talking about how badly you wanted one and how they didn’t want to spend so much money on your first laptop. They agreed to let me get it for you as a gift, but I’m sure there will be something special you’ll need more. Just let me know, all right? Also, don’t forget to thank them.”

  “Okay. I won’t.” I sucked on my bottom lip before releasing it. “You’re the best, Cane.” Something possessed me to say that. I shouldn’t have because it made me seem desperate and lame, but I was glad he took it with a grain of salt.

  “Nah, I just like to see you guys happy. That’s all.”

  Something he’ll never know is that I spent all night using my new laptop to write about how thankful I was to have him in my life.

  Cane was a great man—a blessing—and he didn’t even realize it. He underestimated his love and even the goodness in his heart. I could tell by the way he carried himself, almost like he felt something was missing and wanted to fill the void.

  Maybe something was missing, and that something was his family. He never spoke of them, and I had a feeling there was a reason for it. I also had a feeling they were still around. Was he hiding them? Was he ashamed of them?

  I noticed a lot about him—things he didn’t want people to catch on to. His giving ways were a good distraction for the people around him, but they could never fool me.

  I knew Cane cared about me. I knew he loved to spoil me, as well as Mom and Dad, and even his employees.

  But at the end of the day, I always wondered why?

  Why did he feel the need to give so much to the people who simply enjoyed his presence and his time?

  What was he trying to change or run away from?

  7

  KANDY

  June 7th, 2018

  Diary!!! I’m back!

  Today was SO AMAZING! Oh my gosh! I’m trying to figure out how to form it all into words. So, today was a big day. I GRADUATED! No more high school for this girl! Gah, I’m so glad to be done with it, and not only that, but I have a scholarship in my back pocket. I feel like a freaking boss!

  To
day was super busy, and I’m so tired writing this (it’s like 1 a.m. right now) but I need to get my thoughts down before I lose the high.

  So, Cane told my parents a few weeks back that he wasn’t sure he would make it to my graduation ceremony because he had important business in San Diego the same day. I was bummed to hear it, but I understand how busy he is so I couldn’t be too upset. There I was, standing by the stage waiting to be called, wishing he was there. My mind kept circling back to him and I don’t know why. I should have been thinking about my future and the memories I’d made, but instead I was thinking about him.

  Well, I walked the stage, right? And I hear my dad’s EXTREMELY loud voice (even though they tell you not to cheer too loudly when the names are called – lol) and I see Dad with Mom sitting right beside him, and on the other side of Dad is Cane. I’m so glad I didn’t trip in my heels while staring. He looked so amazing. He wore a tan suit with a sky blue tie and handkerchief to match. I mean it—amazing. Probably cleaner than I’d ever seen him before.

  After graduation, I hugged the hell out of my parents when I realized that I’d be gone soon and would be far away from them. Of course Dad gave a pep talk, which only started up the waterworks for Mom and me.

  Cane gave me a hug next, and he also gave me this beautiful bouquet of flowers. I asked him how he’d made it to the ceremony—that I thought he would be away for business. He told me he wouldn’t have missed my graduation for the world. I’m sure it’s safe to say that I cried even more hearing those words leave his mouth. I couldn’t help it. It was an emotional day.

  Cane had dinner with us at a nice restaurant in Atlanta. Mom and Cane had drinks, Dad didn’t.

  I loved everything about today. But you wanna know what the best part of it was? Cane didn’t check his phone or watch once. Not once, and I know because I watched him. There were no calls from Kelly, and if there were, he’d clearly ignored them. He laughed with us. Drank with us. Teased and smiled at me. He put my big day first, and let business come second. That makes me unbelievably ecstatic.