Maltese Vulture Murder

by Leslie Langtry

  Betty nodded. "I want to be like Jason Bourne. He's my role model."

  "Mine is Jane Goodall," Lauren said. "She works with chimpanzees."

  The girls all started talking at once, but I heard a few snippets, like how Hannah wants to be like Ruth Bader Ginsberg, one of the Kaitlyns is partial to Kim Kardashian (to the approval of the other three Kaitlyns), and Ava named the president of United Healthcare—which she then had to explain to everyone.

  Inez and Caterina chatted animatedly about inventing ice cream that had no calories so Inez's mother would no longer have something she called thunder thighs.

  "You are going to be role models for these"—I squinted at the list—"five girls. So, two of you will work with each younger girl." I looked to Kelly to see if I'd counted right. She nodded. "And Kelly and I will mentor their leaders, Pam and Tammi." I squinted at the list. "How come we only have first names?"

  Kelly shrugged. "Stacey at the Council called me and read the names over the phone. I guess I only wrote down the first names. Anyway, it's not important."

  We assigned our girls to the name of the child they would work with. I didn't know the first thing about any of these people, but that was okay. It would work. My troop was amazing. We had this task in the bag, as long as we didn't discuss weapons, start fires, or discuss the Basque Separatist movement.

  Inez and Ava were assigned to a girl named Delaney. Caterina and Hannah got a Maria. Two of the Kaitlyns were given Gwen, and the other two got LaRetta. Betty and Lauren were assigned to the last name, Sophie. I said a silent prayer for the child. She had no idea what she was in for.

  I grilled each group on their girl's name a few times so it looked like we knew what we were doing.

  "Okay," Kelly said. "The girls are coming over in about fifteen minutes. We're going to play a game, have snacks, and work on a lanyard. You need to help us set up, and when the girls arrive, you'll introduce yourselves to your Daisy."

  As we worked, I edged over to Kelly. "What do you know about Pam and Tammi?"

  She shrugged. "I don't know anything about them. Stacey said they were having trouble figuring stuff out. I guess they had a rough year."

  "Why?"

  "I don't know. I guess we will find out."

  The girls decided on freeze tag for the game. Kelly and I set out popcorn and sugar cookies and organized the lanyard lace. This might be really fun. The girls were old enough to start looking after a younger troop. And a couple of new adults would be helpful.

  There was a tentative knock at the door.

  "That must be them!" Kelly said before turning to the girls and whispering, "Let's try to be good influences, okay?"

  The girls lined up next to the door in their pairings.

  "Welcome!" I said as I swung open the door.

  Five tiny girls looked as if they were afraid to cross the threshold. I did a side-eye glance to see if there were spider webs or occult signs that were holding them up but didn't spot any.

  "Go in, girls." A woman about my height, with short, light brown hair and a nice smile, nudged them. She kind of looked like me. This might be cool after all!

  The six-year-olds trickled in, and as they gave us their names, my girls stepped forward to claim them.

  "We're going to play tag!" Ava barked out as if it was an order.

  The five little girls looked at each other, possibly wondering what they'd done to deserve this separation from each other. We led the girls and leaders into the backyard, and the kids began explaining the rules.

  "I'm Merry." I held out my hand to the woman who resembled me.

  "Pam." She took it and shook it firmly. "Sophie's mom." She pointed at a tiny version of herself.

  "I'm Kelly." My co-leader extended her hand to the other woman, a pretty, petite woman with dark hair, who was a bit overdressed for the occasion in a dress and ballet flats.

  "Tammi." She smiled nervously, hesitating for a moment before taking Kelly's hand. The woman looked like a hopped-up, agitated hummingbird. "That's my daughter, Delaney."

  Sure enough, Delaney was dressed like her mother, except she wore a huge bow in her hair. She wasn't so sure about running around getting dirty. It took some coaxing to encourage her to play.

  Sophie was getting into it. She seemed naturally athletic, laughing as she raced out of reach of Lauren, who was "it."

  The other three girls seemed fairly normal. Maria was very quiet, with a shy smile. Gwen was gorgeous, with big brown eyes and an easygoing air about her. LaRetta, on the other hand, had a sarcastic grin etched into her face.

  "Thank you for doing this," Pam said. "We really struggled this year."

  "Yes" was all Tammi said.

  "No problem!" I insisted. "We have a very active troop. We go camping, fishing, and did the Mud Run a couple of years ago."

  Tammi blanched. "You went, like, outside for twenty-four hours? On purpose?"

  Kelly and I exchanged a look before she spoke up. "Yes, but we do other things too. We've had a float in the Halloween parade each year. And the girls love doing crafts."

  Pam laughed. "Don't mind her"— she pointed to her co-leader —"she's new to all this outdoorsy stuff."

  Tammi nodded, reminding me of that hummingbird. "Pam's a farmer. She's used to this stuff. I've always lived in town. Mayor Bill Jones is my husband."

  I hoped my surprise wasn't evident in my expression. And I decided not to tell her how Betty was planning to kidnap and torture him.

  "That's nice." Kelly beamed.

  I knew that look. It was her oh-my-god-what-have-we-done look.

  "Farmer? That's cool," I said quickly. "We haven't had any farm kids in this troop. These girls love animals. Maybe we could visit your farm?"

  Pam's face froze for a microsecond before her expression turned to horror. "Oh, well, we just do crops on our farm. I don't really like animals."

  "She's terrified of them." Tammi nodded.

  "Oh…" My voice trailed off as I tried to think of something. "Okay, we'll just keep things simple then."

  Kelly piped up. "We'd love to have you at our pizza and swim party a few weeks from now. We do this every year at the country club just outside of town."

  Tammi breathed out a breath she'd been holding this whole time. "Sounds wonderful. I'm a member of that club."

  "Oh," I said. "That's nice."

  I wasn't a fan of the local country club. The members I'd met there were fairly snobby. And this woman's husband was giving my husband a lot of grief lately. It was going to be hard to give Tammi a chance, but I'd have to find a way.

  We watched the game in silence, all of us, I was sure, summing up the others. These two women were an unlikely pair, with one outdoorsy who was afraid of animals and one who probably never got dirty. Oh well, we could work with them. It wasn't like we had to live with them or anything, and the girls seemed to be getting along.

  "Snack!" Kelly shouted.

  She was run over by fifteen girls who raced into the kitchen to a table I'd set up.

  As we joined them, Tammi's hand fluttered to her throat when she spotted the food.

  "Are those vegan cookies? Delaney has a sensitive constitution."

  "Oh! I'm sorry," I apologized. "I never thought of that." There's a vegan sugar cookie? What fresh hell was this?

  Tammi gave me a tight grin. "I'm sure it's okay. But if she gets sick, we'll have to leave."

  "It's okay." Kelly held her hands up. "I'm a nurse. I used to work in the ER."

  "Really?" Tammi's eyes grew wide, and once again she seemed to relax. "Wait. Used to? Have you kept up on your licensing?" She glanced nervously at her daughter. "It's important that your skills are current."

  "It's fine, Tammi," Pam's voice said tightly. "These gals know what they're doing. The Council recommended them."

  Tammi's hand went to her chest as if she was having a heart attack. "Ms. Dowd didn't. She said we should find a troop in Bladdersly."

  Juliette Dowd was my nemesis. Dowd was
not fond of me, largely because she was fond of Rex, and had been deluded enough to think he wanted to marry her when they were kids. And Bladdersly, home of the Raging Bladders? A hick town on its best day, the town was like the idiot version of our town and was currently leading the state in meth production.

  Because I'm an adult and didn't want to speak badly about anyone, I turned my attention to the girls.

  Maria was speaking very softly to Caterina and Hannah, and whatever she said was cracking them up. I'd never seen these two laugh so much.

  Gwen and LaRetta were chatting with the four Kaitlyns, who seemed happy with their assigned girls.

  "Is this popcorn organic?" Delaney asked Inez and Ava loudly. "My daddy, the mayor, only lets me eat organic."

  This caught Betty's attention, and she turned to look at the girl. I made a slashing sign across my throat as I shook my head. She mouthed you're no fun anymore.

  A cry went up from the table, and I turned to see that Sophie's bowl was on fire. I snatched up the non-burning edge and doused it in the sink. Now, how did that happen?

  "Sorry about that," Pam apologized. "Sophie's a bit of a firebug."

  Tammi nodded behind her.

  Oh great. And I'd paired her up with the two pyromaniacs in the troop. The question was, how did she make a porcelain bowl burn? I'd have to look into that, as it seemed like a useful skill.

  Kelly cleared the table as I set out the lanyard lacing. My girls began to demonstrate to their charges how to begin. Pam looked on with some interest, but Tammi stood over Delaney, looking nervous.

  Was it wrong of me to think that I couldn't wait for this meeting to end?

  "Is this biodegradable plastic?" Delaney asked. "My daddy, the mayor, is working on an initiative to get rid of plastics in town."

  Inez responded, "Your daddy sounds like a dork."

  "Inez!" Kelly scolded.

  The girl shrugged.

  Ava came to her defense. "You don't have to keep telling us your daddy is the mayor. We heard you the first fifty times."

  Uh-oh.

  Delaney shoved her lanyard away, leaned back, and folded her arms over her chest with a scowl.

  "So, you used napalm to burn the bowl?" Betty asked Sophie.

  She shook her head. "Axle grease. Works like a charm."

  "Cool!" Betty said with some admiration.

  This wasn't going exactly as planned, and I could see how this troop had been a problem.

  "Shut up, Delaney," LaRetta said. "You're making us look bad."

  Gwen nodded in agreement.

  "Ladies," Kelly warned, "we don't talk to each other like that."

  Pam rolled her eyes. "They bicker like this all the time."

  Tammi smiled, but it looked like she was having a stroke. "Delaney's just being friendly. LaRetta always picks on her."

  Yeah…I wouldn't call it friendly…and I thought LaRetta had a good point.

  I had an idea. "Ladies, let's go back into the yard. We're going to get to know each other."

  In the yard, I put each trio in a spot where they couldn't hear the others. I warned my Scouts to keep the conversation friendly. After all, they were setting an example.

  I joined Kelly and the other two. "This will give each girl a chance to bond with their mentors."

  "That sounds lovely." Tammi closed her eyes for a few moments.

  "Thanks again," Pam spoke up. "This is so nice of you."

  "Do you mind," Kelly said, "if I ask what exactly the problem was in your troop last year? It might help us to understand what's going on and find a way to help."

  A small billow of smoke rose from Sophie's group, and I saw that a large garden stone was now on fire. Lauren saw the look on my face and smothered it with handfuls of mulch.

  Delaney snapped, "No, you're not going to be the mayor because my daddy is!"

  She was talking to my extremely ambitious Ava, who'd probably just made the announcement.

  Maria shook her head at her troop mates before whispering something that left Hannah rolling in the grass in stitches as Caterina laughed out loud.

  LaRetta and Gwen exchanged a glance I couldn't quite interpret and nodded.

  "Oh, it's quite simple, really," Pam explained.

  "What is?" I asked while keeping my eyes on Sophie, Betty, and Lauren.

  "The problem with our troop," Tammi said.

  I turned to the women. "Oh, right, that." I had my own ideas what those problems were but said nothing.

  "So, what is it?" Kelly nudged.

  Pam shrugged. "They hate each other. These girls absolutely hate each other."

  CHAPTER TEN

  An hour later, Kelly caught me studying the porcelain bowl that had caught fire.

  "The girls are all gone." She slumped onto a barstool at the breakfast bar. "Hey, it was really nice of you to clear out the furniture so we'd have room. Can I help you bring it in?"

  I set the bowl down. "No. Because there isn't any. My house was broken into and trashed yesterday."

  If she was shocked, she didn't show it. "I'm really regretting taking on that troop." I guess she'd just gotten used to things like break-ins happening to me.

  "I think you're right." I pulled a bottle of wine from the fridge and spotted a piece of crime scene tape I'd missed lying on the floor. I left it and poured each of us a glass. "And I thought we had it rough."

  "The girls aren't that bad. I think it's the leaders. Those two have nothing in common. And they seem to know nothing about games, crafts, or camping."

  "Well, we can't back out now. We're just going to have to have a plan. Fortunately we won't see them again until the swim party in a few weeks."

  Kelly scrunched up her face as if she was guilty of something. "Actually, it'll be sooner than that."

  I threw back the whole glass of wine in one gulp. "What do you mean?"

  "I kind of thought it would be a good idea to get to know everyone better, so I might have invited them to a picnic in the near future."

  "How near?"

  "Day after tomorrow?"

  I did not throw the wine bottle at her head. And I'm kind of proud of that.

  "How can we do that? I'm totally swamped with the dead guy in the garage, the break-in here, which means I now need new furniture"—I remembered something—"and I still haven't figured out why Riley has a hidden stash of Hostess products."

  Kelly grinned.

  "You know what that's all about, don't you?"

  She nodded before changing the subject. "Look, I'll take you furniture shopping. Will that help?"

  "Only if you do the whole thing for me." I groaned.

  My best friend brightened. "Really? I've always wanted to redecorate this house!"

  "Really." I tossed my credit card on the counter.

  She started racing around the house, measuring. Hey, where'd she get that measuring tape? I knew I didn't have one.

  "I'm so excited! I'm going to make it really tasteful!"

  "Hey! It was tasteful!"

  She stopped and began pacing off the kitchen. "Of course it was. And I'll make it less tacky."

  "What are you going to do exactly?" I asked. "It seems like you've had this planned for a while."

  Did Kelly trash my house so she could decorate?

  "Ever since the day you moved in and hung those Dora the Explorer twin sheets in the living room window."

  "It wasn't that bad," I grumbled, downing another glass of wine.

  "No." She smiled at me. "It wasn't that bad. It was way worse."

  "So, this picnic from hell," I asked, ignoring her jibe. "Why something outside? You saw the way Tammi acted when we mentioned camping." I made my eyes big and impersonated the woman's nervous actions. "Outside? Twenty-four hours? On purpose?"

  Kelly sat back down and took a big drink from her glass, pocketing my credit card.

  "That's why I wanted it to be a picnic," she said. "To give them a little exposure. We'll go to Peterson Park on the outskirts of town,
which is perfect because it's the closest thing to camping without all the rugged wilderness type stuff."

  "No, but there will be trees and other things that burn. Did you see that kid, Sophie? Betty told me that she'd used napalm!"

  Kelly shrugged. "So, we hide the matches."

  "She didn't use matches." I picked up the bowl again. "I can't figure it out, but there's a slight greasy residue…"

  For a moment, I wondered if I could take this to Soo Jin for analysis too, but decided against it. She already had her hands full with what I'd given her.

  "I'm heading out." Kelly stood in the doorway. "I'll do the food. You might get out some of the simple camping stuff."

  To be perfectly honest, I did love camping. "Hey! We could do sleeping bag sack races!"

  "Great idea. I knew you'd be up to the challenge." And with that, she left.

  * * *

  When I got home, Rex was sitting at the dining room table, working. He never did this. Not ever. His reasoning was because I was a snoop. I corrected him to say I was a spy, which is a validated snoop.

  I kissed him on the forehead and pulled up a chair.

  "Is this your dead guy?" I picked up a photo of the man we'd found in the garage. "Any idea who he is?"

  He shook his head. "No, and if you know anything and aren't telling me, I'll have to arrest you."

  I feigned innocence. "Why would I not tell you?"

  He looked me in the eyes. "You don't have the best history doing that."

  "Well! I'm shocked. And appalled. Shocked and appalled!" I gasped sarcastically.

  "You'll be even more so when I win this bet." He grinned.

  "It's still early." I wagged a finger at him.

  My husband changed the subject. "How's Kelly like working for Riley?"

  There was a brief twinge of guilt as I thought about how I was now secretly working for Riley on a case that was connected to Rex's sisters' break-in. But it didn't seem connected to the dead guy in the garage, so I cut myself a little slack.

  I shrugged. "She seems less stressed and overworked. So that's good. I just wish she'd find out about…" I slapped my hand over my mouth.

  "Merry?" He gave me a look I knew all too well. "Is there something you're hiding from me?"