The Phoenix Curse (Book 1): After

by D. R. Johnson

  I knew as soon as I saw her face that Seth was gone, but I didn't want to believe it. I couldn't imagine losing him. She held me back from running in to find him, and we both cried. She had to drag me away because I wasn't going to leave him on my own. He just couldn't be gone. I couldn't let him be gone.

  Before the dead-brains came, he was the one that was always there for me. Because Mom and Dad were so busy working all the time, it was Seth that was the one that made the most time for me. He was the one that helped me with my homework and he would even play video games with me. Every now and then when his friends came over he'd let me watch movies with them if I behaved. I always looked up to him so much. He was the perfect big brother.

  Knowing that he wasn't there anymore hurt more than losing Dad did. Ali was crushed too. I had always thought they might want to get married someday, if there could still be weddings in this world.

  It was horrible. I was so sad, and Ali just got really quiet. She hardly talked at all after that. I caught her crying a lot at first, even though she tried to hide it from me.

  She never told me if she let Seth turn, or if she ended it for him like I wished Jeremy would have ended it for me. Instead, I lay there waiting for my life to end. I didn't understand why it was taking so long for me to turn, but then I wasn't sure how long Becky had been gone before I woke.

  What was this going to feel like?

  With the fever gone, and the awful vomiting stopped, it almost felt like I was getting better, but I'd simply lost the will to do anything. It was easier to just lie here and let the minutes pass by while I listened to Becky shuffle the table settings around.

  I picked at the bandages on my hands, finally pulling them away to expose the blisters underneath. I was mildly surprised to see how well they had healed, and thought ruefully that I could have been able to work in the gardens today. It even made me sad knowing that I would never work in those gardens again.

  I continued to lay there immobile for hours, waiting out the rest of the day. I let my thoughts wander randomly, and I cherished the memories while I still could. The light was starting to dim in the building, signifying early evening, and, somehow, I was still me.

  I decided to test my muscles to see if I could stand. Maybe I had made it through? Maybe not everyone turned when they were bitten?

  That thought made me angry. Why would I be the one to live when I had no one, and Becky had her whole family that needed her there?

  As I stood, I felt the strength flow back into my limbs. I was weak, but thought I would be able to walk now. My clothes were still wet, and the smell of vomit was everywhere. I wished I had a change of clothes but I didn't think I would find anything here in the restaurant.

  Becky was ignoring me, still moving from table to table, setting and resetting the dishes. I decided to try to walk on my wobbly legs to see how far I could make it. I surprised myself by being much more surefooted than I thought possible. A few years ago, I had come down with a pretty bad stomach virus and didn't remember recovering this fast.

  I wanted to see what I could find in the adjacent gas station before it got dark, and stumbled out the front door, barely catching myself against a support beam that held up the awning. I thought I'd better slow it down.

  I made sure to stay vigilant and move slowly. Ali taught me to always be aware of my surroundings and never assume a place was too small for a dead-brain to hide in.

  The dead-brains out in the field were too far away to notice me, but in the dying light they were also hard to spot. I was second guessing my decision to take a trip to the gas station, afraid I might get ambushed, but decided it was now or never.

  I took one slow step after the other to the neighboring building, keeping my energy in check. Once there, I made sure to look through all the windows for any signs of movement before I decided it was safe. I gave the door a tug.

  A bell hanging above the door announced my entrance, and I winced. If there were any dead-brains in here, they sure knew I was in here now. I just stood there, waiting, but nothing came. Maybe I had caught a little bit of luck.

  Judging by the disarray of the store, it looked like someone had been through here before, but not everything was taken. My first thought was to check behind the counter for a weapon. I figured if there was anything here, that would most likely be where it was stashed.

  I was rewarded when I found a wicked looking axe behind the counter. The curved blade was painted red, and the metal head was fitted into a solid wooden handle that tapered into a point at the bottom, making both ends dangerous. It was a vicious looking thing, but much too heavy for me to try to do anything with while I was still so weak.

  I opted for the lighter-weight aluminum baseball bat, which I was also able to use as cane.

  The next thing on my list was finding a change of clothes. I saw some Texas Longhorn shirts hanging in the front window and grabbed one. They didn't have my size, so the one I grabbed hung on me like a sheet, but I was thankful I could get out of that rotten smelling shirt.

  As I dropped the disgusting garment on the ground, a flash from outside the window caught my eye.

  Headlights.

  I froze. It had to be Jeremy coming back. Why? He knew what was going to happen, did he come back to kill Becky? Kill us both?

  I ducked down to hide myself, suddenly worried and scared. What if he did come back and killed me without even talking to me first? I truly didn't think I was going to turn now and, although the thought of living in this world wasn't the greatest option, I really did not want Jeremy to kill me.

  As the headlights drew closer, I realized it wasn't Jacob's truck. Who the heck could it be? I had never seen this vehicle before, and I wasn't about to take any chances, so I kept myself hidden.

  I watched the black truck roll to a stop in the middle of the street, and then the driver stepped out into view.

  My heart skipped a beat when I saw her unmistakable red hair.

  CHAPTER 5

  ALI

  I was angry. Even when I lost Seth, I wasn't this angry. How could they be so stupid, so careless?

  Tears of rage were running down my face as I was driving north on 70. I knew I was being careless but I felt like daring any freak to come against me now. I would kill them all.

  The road was mostly clear except for a pile up of cars that I was swiftly approaching. There were quite a few of those bastards milling around. Freaks.

  By the time I stopped next to the pile up, I had their attention. I was pulling my knife before I had fully stepped out of my truck. The first freak that came within range got my knife shoved into its eye socket, the blade sliding into its brain. I kicked its dead body from me to watch it tumble down into the ditch.

  Systematically, I moved from freak to freak, killing them all and pushing their bodies off the road. Tears were streaming down my cheeks in hatred and rage and pain, but I didn't slow. They were just watching me with those dead eyes, not able to process any thought to clue them in on their own mortal danger. Looks of cold curiosity were silenced by my knife. I didn't stop till they were all lying dead in the drainage ditch.

  I cried.

  My destruction helped calm my rage, but uncovered the pain. For a moment, I wondered why I should keep going. Everyone that I ever loved was dead, and everyone else would just die eventually. Who was left for me to keep going for? Myself? Was that a strong enough reason to keep moving forward?

  I choked on my sobs and spit out a mouthful of blood. Apparently I had bitten my tongue in my fury. I wiped the blade of my knife against my ruined shirt, and then peeled the shirt off and tossed it on top of the bodies. I always wore double layers as a precaution. This would not be the first time I'd had to discard a ruined garment.

  I walked back to the truck with slow, wavering steps, my thoughts again drifting to Walter and his misses, and to Seth. I couldn't do it for Seth, but could I do it for Joss? Could I end his pain?

  I had to. This was no life, and I knew he wo
uldn’t want to be left there like that. Not with the chance he could take an innocent life. I wouldn’t let Joss become a mindless killer.

  At least I now knew the end of my current road, but not what I would do once this task before me was done. I didn't want to think that far ahead. This wouldn't be the first time I had been in this position, and I didn't want to face it again.

  I climbed back into my truck and continued down the road.

  The town wasn't that far ahead. Jeremy hadn't told me where he'd lost Joss and Becky, but I figured it would have been in one of the first buildings coming into the little town. That didn't leave a lot of choices.

  I parked the truck in the middle of the road in front of an old bar. That was as good a place as any. As I walked around the truck, I was eying the building with trepidation. My stomach was rolling in nauseous waves and I had to stop to collect myself for a moment before I soldiered on.

  Then the door of the gas station burst open, and I jumped back in shock, my knife already instinctively in my hand. My first thought was a freak was on the attack, but then he called my name before stumbling to the ground.

  "Ali!"

  Everything inside me froze. I wasn't expecting this.

  Hesitantly, I started forward, still not knowing what I would find when I got to him. He was lurching to his feet again, and calling to me. I couldn't hold myself back any longer and broke into a run.

  "Joss!" I yelled, tears already streaming down my face. My mind was full of chatter, pleading with any god anywhere that he was okay.

  And then we were together, his arms were thrown around me so tightly he knocked some of the wind out of me and he was sobbing. I was grasping him just as hard, wanting to never let him go.

  He was weak though and he pulled me off balance. As he sank to his knees, I went down with him, the two of us collapsed in the parking lot of the old bar.

  "I never thought I'd see you again." He said through his sobs, and I held him tight while he caught his breath.

  "I never should have left you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." My own voice cracked, and I truly hated myself for leaving him. He pulled away from me then, wiping the tears and snot from his face.

  "I got bit, and I was really sick." He mumbled as he looked at me. My eyes widened in shock, and he immediately shook his head, not knowing why I was so surprised. "I feel much better now."

  I grabbed his face in my hands and held him still as I stared at him. His eyes were green. Beautiful emerald green.

  Everything I knew in this world changed in that moment. I fell backwards, stunned. I couldn't even breathe to speak as Joss stared at me in utter confusion.

  "Am I still dying?" He whispered, so frightened by my reaction he didn't know what to think.

  "No!" I nearly yelled as I grabbed him and pulled him back to me.

  "No, no, no!" I got out more firmly, and I started laughing and sobbing at the same time. "You're going to live!"

  He collapsed against me in relief. "Promise me you'll never leave me again?"

  "I promise, Joss." I said more quietly, calming down some now. "I promise you I'll never leave you again."

  We sat like that for a long time, embraced awkwardly in that parking lot. The noise we had made brought quite a crowd as I knew it would, but Joss didn't realize it until he raised his head.

  "Ali." He said in hushed tones, seeing all the freaks that had come to investigate the noise. I looked around, only seeing a handful. I remained uneasy as I always did around the freaks, but I wasn't scared.

  "It's okay." I said simply and calmly. "They won't hurt you now."

  "What?" He gasped, not believing me and clearly not put at ease.

  "You and I, we're both infected." I stared at him, waiting for him to take in what I was saying. "We've both been bitten, but we were infected the right way." I said, using Walter's terminology.

  I held up my right arm to show him the scars of the bite. His wide green eyes looked from it, back to me, and then back to the freaks that circled us.

  "How?" He asked, but I had no answer for that, and I just shrugged.

  "I don't know. I thought I was the only one for a long time." The panic was still in his eyes, but I felt him relax just a little bit. I continued, wanting to get away from the crowd as well. "Can you stand?"

  He nodded slowly. "I think so."

  I stood, pulling him up beside me and helping to support his weight. "If you move slowly, they won't react at all. They think we're one of them."

  I felt him shudder and understood how he was feeling. It took me a very long time to come to terms with it myself. I didn't know how well he was going to take this news.

  "Do you have a place here you can rest while you get your strength back?" I asked him.

  The expression of pain he turned to me broke my heart.

  "Becky." He said, pointing toward the bar.

  I nodded solemnly, knowing that Becky had already turned. I asked instead, "What about the gas station?"

  "I didn't get to look around the whole place, but I didn't see anything while I was in there."

  "Alright then, we'll rest there." I nodded, and helped him walk to the building. He leaned heavily on me, one arm wrapped around my waist as he limped along, but I didn't think he was doing it just because he was weak.

  I didn't mind. I needed him too.

  * * *

  There was no running water in this town, but I was able to find enough jugs and bottles in the store to help Joss wash up. I hated wasting clean water, but I also knew we weren't going to be staying here much longer, and the washing would help him feel more human again.

  "You still need to rest some." I told him, concerned when I caught him wobbling on his feet. He was still a wiry kid, but it looked like the Powell's had managed to get some meat to stick to his bones. He had also grown a few inches and was already taller than me. It hurt to realize he still looked so much like Seth, even with the green eyes.

  "Ali," Joss said quietly, after we'd gotten settled in. "What are we going to do about Becky?"

  I sighed deeply, seeing the pleading look in his eyes. Becky was such a sweet girl. She didn't deserve what happened to her. So many innocent lives had been twisted into these monstrosities, and none of them deserved it. I thought briefly of Walter and Emma before responding, knowing already I had failed with Seth. I could never make up for that, but at least I could end this for Becky.

  "Let me take care of it." I finally said.

  "Okay, just..." He paused for a few seconds. "Should we take her back to the Powells? Ya know... after..." His words choked off.

  I nodded, feeling the tears well up in my eyes. I blinked them away as I fetched Joss some magazines I'd found by the register, hoping for a distraction. The gesture seemed weak but he took them from me without pause. Changing the subject, I offered what I could of a smile as I said, "I'm going to go find us some supplies for the night."

  Joss frowned at my announcement, but he didn't protest. He knew it was better to use what was readily available rather than to break into our supplies. We had both learned that lesson a long time ago.

  "Please don't be gone long." He said as he clutched the magazines in his hands, seeming not to notice the tight grip he had on them. "I don't want to be alone."

  "I know." I said as I reached out to reassuringly pat his shoulder. "I don't want to be alone either. I promise I won't be gone long."

  He nodded, and I could see the sadness in his eyes. I wondered how close he had gotten to Becky during my time away. I didn't want to ask him what happened just yet. I knew he would tell me when he was ready. Even so, I wanted to understand how it had come to be Joss that tried to rescue her and not her father.

  The bitterness roiled around in my stomach as I dwelled on it, and I found myself growing angry at Jeremy again. Frowning, I left the gas station before Joss could sense my mood. He had enough emotional trauma on his plate right now and he didn't need to be worried about mine.

  I heard him sniffle
softly as I walked out the door.

  The anger faded somewhat as I ran up the street of the small town, searching for some type of general store. Finding a small shop that looked promising, I had to shatter the glass of the door to get inside. Stepping through the shattered frame, I was greeted by a freak still wearing an apron with the store's logo on it. The name Doug was written on the upper right side of the apron in black marker.

  I froze for a few seconds, monitoring Doug's behavior. He stood stoically, staring at the door, slack jawed. His pants had fallen around his ankles due to his disease assisted weight loss, and most of his hair was probably gone prior to him being infected.

  I sneered as I advanced slowly, finally gaining the courage to push him out of my way. I flinched back almost immediately, still cringing from having to touch a freak. His feet got tangled in his pants, and he stumbled backwards, colliding into one of the shelves behind him. Astonishingly, he kept his footing and then turned his attention to me.

  His vacant eyes stared at me, but he didn't advance. I didn't think I would ever get used to these things like Walter had. Shuddering, I went on about my business, ignoring Doug as long as he was going to stay put.

  After a quick search through the small store, I found a nice tool set as well as a stash of batteries and flashlights. These were excellent trade goods. I also came across some sweatpants, and I grabbed a few pairs to take back to Joss. I had only been gone maybe thirty minutes, but was already feeling anxious to check on him. Stuffing a few more supplies into a duffle bag, I left Doug to mind the store on his own.

  I dropped the supplies next to Joss, who immediately started rummaging through the bag. He seemed extremely grateful when he pulled out the sweatpants.

  "Sorry. That's all I could find." I apologized with a shrug. "I know I've got some more stuff packed away in the truck. I can pull it out in the morning."

  "This is fine." He said, even managing a smile up at me. It never touched his eyes though. Bright green eyes that I still wasn't used to seeing on him. I sighed softly as I gave him privacy to change.