"Sorry." I said flatly, and his face broke into a smile. It was enough to lighten the heavy mood, and the smile I returned was genuine. Then I, once again, saw him as a reflection of Seth, and my mouth went dry as I turned away.
"Come on." I croaked as I climbed out of the cab, hoping I was fast enough to cover up my mood swing. Luckily, Joss seemed not to notice.
We both moved toward the house, keeping an eye on the freaks that were milling toward the truck, but ignoring us. Through the window of the house, I could see at least two freaks keeping a stoic vigil in what looked to be the living room. I motioned Joss to the back of the house, and we both circled around from opposite sides.
I found the back door locked, but the window just to the side of it slid open easily. Joss moved in front of me, slipping through the window quickly before I could argue. I waited impatiently for him to unlock the back door, and met his smirk with a frown.
"Alright, show off." I grumbled. "Let me see if I can lead these guys out of here without a fight."
He stayed behind me this time as I walked into the living room. The two freaks, who looked to be an older couple, turned to regard me as I entered.
My lip curled in disgust at the thought of touching them. This wasn't the same as when we had dealt with Becky. These smelly freaks had never been people to me, and I couldn't bring myself to reach out to them.
Instead, I circled behind them, which was another thing I didn't like doing as it put them between Joss and me. I saw no way around it, though, and I reminded myself they wouldn't hurt him.
Grabbing an old dusty cane I found lying on the floor, I started to prod the man forward with it. The old woman snapped at me suddenly, causing me to jump backwards and drop the cane. It clattered as it hit the floor. I was tensed and ready to defend myself, but, aside from the snap, the freak was still. Regardless, my heart was already thumping in my chest.
"The hell was that?" Joss said from the doorway, and both freaks turned to him.
I grumbled under my breath, thinking again about the freak that had attacked me in the blue house before I'd left Grand Prairie. "They do that sometimes."
Both freaks pivoted again to look at me.
"And you didn't think that was need-to-know info?" He asked, raising his eyebrow again. The freaks volleyed their stares back to Joss.
"When did you turn into such a smartass?" I said as I retrieved the cane, poking it at the woman as she turned to me. Joss disappeared from the doorway and called out a little too loudly for my taste.
"Learned it from you!"
I snorted at that, and waited for the freaks to turn to him. They started moving toward the kitchen on their own, following Joss's voice. I gave the woman freak a good hard bump with the cane and she snapped at me over her shoulder, but didn't stop her forward momentum.
"You're just an old bitch, now aren't you?" I snarled at her.
She didn't deny it.
The male freak had made his way into the kitchen, and I could see that Joss had armed himself with a broom. He was pushing the old man out the back door with its bristles. The freak was craning his head back to watch him, but continued moving out the door.
Once he was outside, the old woman followed with less hassle. I guessed she wanted to stay close to her husband and she didn't put up a fuss. I quickly shut the door behind them and locked it, also locking the window for good measure.
"I hope that was it." I said, turning to Joss who was still wielding the broom. "So, how do you want to do this?"
I wanted to leave the planning for tonight up to him. I had to see how comfortable he was with his new life. He had shown confidence with my plan, but he fumbled at this. I knew he had grown up too fast, and he was still just a kid. In the end, he surprised me.
"I'll make sure the downstairs is clear, you go up." He said, motioning to the stairs.
It was my turn to raise an eyebrow, but I only said, "If you find anything, let me know right away. Don't engage it."
"Sure." He said, and I didn't fully trust his smile. I knew he was relieved that he didn't have to fear the freaks anymore, but I hope he kept a healthy respect for them. At least he hadn't made any mention of trying to kill them all yet, like I had tried to do.
I left him to it, and started up the stairs, making sure to open every window I could find. It was still sweltering hot in the house, and I needed to air out the stench of unwashed freak that had been building for years.
After my sweep of the upstairs floor, I descended the stairs to find Joss back in the kitchen, going through the cabinets.
"All clear." He stated as I walked in. "No gas, no water here."
I nodded. "I have plenty of water stocked in the truck. If you want to, we can check the other houses for supplies too. We have a lot of daylight left."
He seemed much too excited about that news, and I gave him a warning look. "We stay together, okay?"
"Yes, ma'am." He grinned.
I just rolled my eyes at him. My show of annoyance was feigned though, and I was pretty sure he was aware of it. The banter was going a long way to help ease the tension and pain.
The little town I'd found for us to rest in wasn't anything spectacular. It hadn't been looted, but there wasn't a lot there to begin with. We found water, food to eat so we didn't have to break into our stores, and Joss found some comic books he could read. He preferred the graphic novels over my plain text books. That was fine with me.
In the dying daylight hours, he spent time going through the pictures of the house and finding out all the information he could on the old couple that had lived here. This was a practice I generally avoided. I didn't want to humanize these monsters, but I couldn't find the words to warn Joss away. What he was trying to do seemed to be innocent and pure, so I didn't object.
They were older than I had thought, both of them in their mid-eighties. I knew that being infected caused a nearly miraculous regeneration, but it was almost like their aging process had been reversed. I wouldn't have thought they were out of their sixties.
Joss was going on about their sixty year marriage and their children, but I was lost in my own thoughts. Once again I found myself thinking about Walter and what he had told me of his emphysema being gone within two weeks of becoming infected. He had looked so healthy. I found myself regretting the topic of age never coming up in our conversation. Now I had more unanswered questions.
Joss had stopped talking, still going through the pictures with a dejected look on his face. Looking at him then, he looked like the sad fourteen year old kid he really was. A kid that should be worrying about homework and girls, and not mourning a world lost that he would never know. I reached over and squeezed his hand.
"I just wish there was something we could do." He mumbled.
"You're doing it, Joss." I reassured him. "You're remembering them. I think that's all any of us would want in the end."
His green eyes glittered with tears as he glanced at me, then he blinked them away. His voice was full of melancholy that was nearly tangible when he spoke again. "Can we remember Seth?"
My stomach turned at his question, feeling like I'd been punched in the gut. I squeezed his hand all the tighter and forced him to look at me again. "I will always remember Seth."
He fell against me, his arms wrapping around me in a huge hug. I held him tightly, feeling him break down into wracking sobs.
"I just miss him so much." He got out between breaths, and I knew his emotions were run ragged after what happened with Becky, but I couldn't hold it together either. The tears ran down my cheeks into his hair.
"Me too." I whispered. "Me too."
I held him until the tears ran dry, and there was nothing else to say. He slipped into a deep sleep that I don't think he'd been able to achieve in a while. I let him lie on the floor of the room he'd chosen to sleep in. He hardly stirred as I put a pillow under his head and covered him up with a thin blanket.
There was more to this bond that held Joss and I togethe
r than just Seth, but losing him was still a deep wound for both of us. A jagged wound that was still healing and it would take years before it faded. Hopefully being able to talk about him would bring the closure we both desperately needed.
I crawled into the bed, and watched Joss sleeping peacefully before I drifted off into my own dreams.
* * *
That night I dreamed about Carlsbad, and winter, and Seth.
A white blanket of snow was covering the ground and, even though I knew it couldn't be, it felt right. It was a thick blanket of snow, the kind we got when I was back in DC with my mom, but deep down I knew it never really snowed like this in Carlsbad.
I was standing on the porch, watching the fluffy white snowflakes dancing in the air. Seth stood beside me and he reached out for my hand, clasping it in his. It felt so natural. I took it all in, enjoying standing next to him and being able to steal a few more moments while reality was still far away in the waking world.
"Take care of him, Ali." He told me, turning me toward him and I stared up into his wonderful, beautiful blue eyes.
"I promise." I whispered back to him softly. He brought his hands to my face, caressing my cheek and tilting my chin up so his lips could brush softly against mine for the briefest of seconds. He pulled me to him, wrapping his arms around me and I nestled my cheek against his broad chest.
In my dream, his heart was still beating strong and loud against my cheek and I was able to relax against him. The heat of his body was warming me in the winter cold, and I cherished the moment. In my mind he was still with me, and I didn’t want to let him go.
The morning sunlight shattered my illusions, and I awoke to a pain I thought I had buried months ago. All I could do was roll over into the dusty pillows and bury my face to muffle my sobs. It was Joss's hand on my shoulder that brought me out of my lapse, easing the ache inside me slightly.
He didn't ask me what was wrong. I think he already knew.
It was inevitable that Seth would show up in my dreams again now that Joss was back with me. There were too many memories being drug to the surface, and I wasn't able to prepare myself for the tricks my own mind could play on me.
We both spent a good majority of the morning in silence, unable to break the melancholy mood. Joss had ceased his search for information about the last residents of the house, and I wondered if that might be the last time he would try to dig up old ghosts. The effects it had on both of us lingered on painfully.
I wasn't in the mood to drive, so we stayed in the house through the mid-morning hours after breakfast. Joss whittled away at a small block of wood, and I grabbed one of my many books to read. It was a book about elves, dwarfs, and dragons in a world far different from what we lived in. It led the way to an escape I sorely needed.
"Can you read it out loud?" Joss asked as he worked.
I smiled at him and started back at chapter one, happy to share the tale with him. The story was what we needed to lift our spirits some. We lingered in that house for a few days before we decided to get back on the road in search of a settlement. If memory served, I thought we might be able to find a decent trading community just outside of Lubbock.
After a short driving lesson, Joss took the wheel as we set out toward the west. It was really slow going at first, but it didn't take him long to get the hang of it. Driving a real vehicle might truly become a thing of the past, and there were no laws anymore to say he couldn't. Besides, it was nice to have someone else to share in this responsibility.
Joss didn't remember many songs from before the outbreak, but I had a nice collection of CDs I had found along the way. I let him choose the music. Having a working CD player in the truck turned into a real treat.
We made it to Lubbock as dusk was starting to settle. I drove up and down the southern streets of the old city until I finally caught the glow of lights indicating people. I kept the truck at a slow speed and turned on the hazards while Joss and I both waved a white t-shirt out our respective windows. This was the new symbol for I come in peace, but it still wasn't one-hundred percent trusted.
As expected, we were met by the armed town guard before we even got close to the gates. Luckily, one of the men in the patrol recognized us, and waved us through.
The mayor, although she didn't like being referred to as that, was happy to see we were doing well. I graciously unloaded nearly half our supplies to buy us shelter for a while. Even though it had been a spur of the moment decision that we stay, Joss didn't seem to mind that I hadn't consulted him on it.
We ended up staying there for weeks, maybe months. It was easy for me to lose track of the days. I found it curious that not one person mentioned the color of Joss's eyes during our stay. Of course, neither one of us pointed it out. These people didn't know we were different.
Being in a community again was doing me good, and helped the healing process along. Both Joss and I contributed on a daily basis, making sure that we did what we could to see that the needs of the community were met. The activities kept my mind busy so I wasn't always dwelling on a past I couldn't change.
The questions in my mind never faded though, and they continued to haunt me for answers. When I broached the subject of moving on to Joss, he was expecting it. In fact, he was surprised I had wanted to stick around for so long.
The good folks of Lubbock had a different view on our departure. It seemed no one wanted to see us go, especially not with winter coming on. Regardless, Joss and I both made our apologies and said our goodbyes to the disappointment of the town. On a cold December morning, we were back on the road.
We were traveling north this time, working our way up to Amarillo. We didn't quite make it before we got hit by a winter storm that turned the roads to ice. It was easy enough for us to find shelter in an old freak riddled neighborhood and wait till the roads cleared. Three days in, and another bout of ice and snow came blowing through.
Everything was so white and pristine and beautiful. I didn't mind the delay. I was interested to see how the freaks would handle the exposure. It was certain they were moving about less, but the cold didn't seem to be killing them. That was disappointing, but it didn't come as a surprise. Humanity would have already been making a comeback if it was that easy.
We used our downtime to search the nearby houses and shops to restock our trade goods. There was a place just west of Amarillo that we had stopped at last spring. The first time Joss and I passed through there, I had been in such a daze after losing Seth, I wasn't thinking right. Now it seemed I could recall there may have been some ex-military in or near the town. I wanted to pay them a visit.
I was eager to get moving again, and luckily it didn't take more than a day or two for all the snow to melt off. The travel was stop and go once we got back on the road. It was impossible to say if all the downed trees were due to this latest storm, or ones prior, but we were moving a lot of debris off the road just to get by.
In the end, it took us a week to reach our destination. All things considered, I thought that was making pretty good time. I knew exactly where this little settlement was, and knew we were nearing the town when I noticed the smoke. It was thick and black, far too much smoke to be coming from a campfire or even a house fire.
I slowed the truck to a stop, mulling over what to do next. It was Joss that pointed out the hills along the southern edge of the town so we could get a better vantage point. Part of me wanted to just bypass the town altogether, but curiosity got the better of me, and we swung to the south.
I had to search for a bit until I found a place suitable to hide the truck. Then we started our hike into the hills. We were a couple miles out, and each step closer made me more nervous than the last. Something wasn't right here, and I was questioning why we didn't just turn around and move on.
The further up the hill we got, the more barren the terrain. There were no houses, cars, or even trees for us to hide behind, so we ended up down on all fours in the weeds as we crested the hill. Joss and I both ga
sped as the town came into view. Half of the settlement was on fire.
"God, what happened?" Joss mumbled as he stared out at the town.
I frowned, not able to come to any conclusion. There were quite a few people I remembered from our first trip through, and it had been one of the few places that had accepted me. I shook my head, hoping that there were some survivors somewhere.
I started to back up when the sound of a gun cocking made my blood run cold. Instinctively, my own hand was already on the hilt of my knife when the long barrel of a rifle tapped me on the back of my head.
"Not so fast." Came a woman's voice, hushed and full of gravel.
I froze.
After – Part 2 will be released in the fall of 2013.
Please join D. R. Johnson on her blog for news of the release date, and all things concerning The Phoenix Curse.
http://drjpublishing.blogspot.com.
Author’s Note and Acknowledgements
I would like to think that this is the beginning of a wondrous journey. Not only a journey for Ali and Joss, but a new chapter in my life. I am happy to have each and every one of you with me as I set out on my new endeavors.
This is the story of how the first book, After of The Phoenix Curse trilogy, came to be.
I used to write a lot back in high school. I even had unsupported dreams of becoming a writer someday. Here and there I would jot something down, mostly a little bit of prose or poetry, nothing substantial. When the attack in Florida happened, my friends all joked about zombies. That night, I was lying in bed unable to sleep, and I hopped out of bed to write down what eventually became the intro to the trilogy.
Then, last year, about mid-October, I stumbled on to something called National November Writing Month (NaNoWriMo for short). For those of you that have never heard of it, it is a challenge to yourself to write 50,000 words during the month of November. There are few stipulations. One being the book has to be a work of fiction, and two; it has to be a brand new book.
The Phoenix Curse (Book 1): After Page 12
