Lizzy.
When he realized he’d forgotten the condom, he’d panicked. He knew he was clean, and he wasn’t worried about Lizzy. She wasn’t the kind of person who would hide something, especially something like that. Unfortunately, a clean bill of health wasn’t the only concern.
She never mentioned anything about being on the pill, shot, or whatever women did these days to protect themselves from unwanted pregnancy.
An image formed in his mind’s eye, an image of a little girl with Lizzy’s strawberry-blonde hair and his bright blue eyes. So real, Dade’s heart skipped a beat.
He never saw himself as a father. Not after Rachel died. He swore he would never love again, never put himself through the pain of loss like that. So no marriage meant no fatherhood, but babies could be made without love—he’d learned that in sixth grade health class.
But he made a mistake, a monumental mistake with huge possible consequences.
After a few days mulling it over, he decided to do the right thing. If Lizzy was pregnant, he would marry her. He couldn’t love her, but he would damn sure take care of her and his child. It wouldn’t be so hard being married to Lizzy. They had fun together. She made him laugh and loosen up. Which his brother often reminded him he needed. They could have a great life. He cared about her, and he was pretty sure she cared for him, too.
Dating the sassy, sexy woman this past week had been great. He knew she was still a little confused by his turnaround, after all, he told her flat out he would never love her. That made him feel like an ass. She deserved to be loved more than any woman on the earth. She deserved to be romanced, worshiped, and cherished by a good man worthy of her. Not a broken, cold cowboy with no heart left. But for some reason, he couldn’t let her go to that fantasy man. He had to keep her in his arms. At least, until he knew if she was pregnant or not. If she wasn’t carrying his child, then he would let her go.
She deserved far better than him.
“There you are. I’ve been looking for you all day.”
He turned at the sound of his brother’s voice. Grabbing a dishtowel, he dried his hands. “Well, you found me.”
Colton propped a fist on his hips. Irritation marred his little brother’s brow. “Why didn’t you tell me you were dating Lizzy?”
Oh crap. He knew this would get back to his brother. Small towns liked to talk. Everyone’s business was fair game. It was one of the reasons he’d never brought Rachel here. For which he was now very glad. Rachel was his private, personal pain. He didn’t want the town speculating about it.
“It’s kind of a new thing.”
“Not according to Maggie. Lizzy told her you guys hooked up at the shack.”
Dade choked. Do women tell each other everything?
“She didn’t use those words exactly, but she implied this thing between you two has been going on for a while.”
He guessed so. Though they had only been officially dating for the past week, the moment he saw Lizzy, he wanted her. From that very first time over two months ago when she came rushing into Maggie’s hospital room. The concern for her best friend and determination not to let anything or anyone keep her from her intrigued him. Everything he learned about her since fascinated him. He fought it at first, because he was afraid of what he’d been feeling; he still was. In the end, the temptation had been too great.
“Yeah, well, I didn’t see how it was any of your business.”
His little brother crossed a pair of leanly muscled arms over his chest, mean-mugging him. “Lizzy is Maggie’s best friend. Those two are closer than sisters.”
Apparently, if they talk about their sex lives with each other. The only sex talk he ever had with Colton was when his brother started high school, and Dade warned him to “always wrap it up” as their dad had told him.
Too bad he forgot that little nugget of advice himself the other day.
“If something or someone hurts Lizzy, then Maggie is hurt, too. And I won’t let anything hurt Maggie. Not ever again.”
He knew this was coming out of an intense love for his fiancée; still, his brother’s accusation hurt.
“What makes you think I’ll hurt her?”
“I don’t know, just a few weeks ago you were telling me you could barely stand the woman.”
He took a step forward, feeling a hard scowl crease his face. “I never said that.”
Colton mimicked his action until they were nose to nose. “You avoided the woman like the plague, and now you’re screwing her. I’m a little confused about when the turnaround happened.”
Brother or not, no one spoke that way about Lizzy. He gripped the front of his brother’s shirt in a tight fist. Anger he had never felt toward his sibling churned in his gut. His jaw clenched so hard he heard a loud crack.
“Don’t,” he growled out, “ever talk about Lizzy like that again.”
Duplicate blue eyes stared right back. His little brother rarely backed down. Even with him.
“Then tell me what the hell you’re doing. Why the sudden turnaround? I know I asked you two to get along, but I was talking about civil conversation, not jumping head first into a relationship.”
He loosened his fist and shoved away from his brother, slamming his hand down on the edge of the sink.
“Dade.” Colton’s voice came out softer, pleading. “Talk to me, brother. What’s going on?”
“Lizzy might be pregnant.” His low confession carried through the kitchen like the crack of a whip.
At the continued silence, Dade turned. Twin blond eyebrows climbed up the younger man’s forehead; his mouth hung open.
Shit. Now, he was going to have to tell his brother everything.
“I’m not going into details, but Lizzy and I had an…arrangement of sorts.”
His brother scowled. Yeah, yeah, it sounded sketchy to him, too. He was an ass, he knew it, moving on.
“We both agreed to keep it light. No strings, no commitments.”
Colt shook his head in disgust. He couldn’t blame the guy, hearing it out loud kind of disgusted him, too.
“So, what happened? Why the change from sex buddies to dating?”
A crude term, but accurate, and one of his own making. He took a calming breath and continued.
“A little over a week ago I kind of…got caught up in the moment.” He shifted on his feet, shame and embarrassment filling him.
“You forgot the condom?” his brother guessed.
He nodded. “I’ve never forgotten the rubber. Not once.”
“Hmm.” Colton stood there considering him. “What did Lizzy say about it?”
Here came the really bad part. “Nothing.”
Suspicious eyes widened in surprise. “She didn’t care? She on the pill or something?”
He shook his head. “I have no idea…we haven’t talked about it.”
“You didn’t talk about it?” Astonishment laced his little brother’s words. “Didn’t she realize you forgot the condom?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugged. She never mentioned it, and he was too much of a chicken-shit to bring it up. “It was a pretty wild moment for both of us, and then a customer came in right after—”
“Oh my God! You did it in the cupcake shop.”
He winced at his brother’s shout. “We didn’t plan it. It just kind of…happened.”
Colton smothered a laugh. “I’m pretty sure Maggie would say that’s a health code violation, bro.”
He grimaced. Great, just another reason to feel guilty about what was possibly one of the hottest, most satisfying moments of his life.
“Still, why the dating?”
He stared hard. What the hell kind of question was that? “Because it’s the right thing to do.”
“What is?”
Sometimes his brother could be really thick.
“I forgot the condom. That’s on me. If Lizzy is pregnant, I’m going to do the right thing and marry her.”
“So, that’s why you two are suddenly
dating?”
He could not believe his brother was being such a moron. “Women tend to accept proposals from men they are dating rather than guys they just sleep with.” Sounded logical to him.
His brother studied him. “Do you love her?”
“What does that have to do with it?”
Now Colton was the one looking at him like he was two cans short of a six-pack.
“Women tend to accept proposals from men they love, not just guys trying to fix what they think is a mistake.”
“But it was a mistake. My mistake. I forgot the condom, and now, Lizzy could be pregnant. If she is, I’ll marry her and take care of her and the baby. It’s my obligation. Love has nothing to do with it.”
A soft gasp had him and Colton turning their heads.
Oh for shit sake!
“Lizzy…”
She stood at the kitchen door, face paler than a ghost, eyes bright with unshed tears, but her hands were clenched into tights fists. It was the eyes that got to him. Eyes filled with such pain. Pain he knew he put there. How long had she been standing there? How much had she heard?
“Is—is that why you said you wanted more, Dade?”
Her voice cracked as she tried to stop the tears from falling. He felt lower than dirt. Her hand went to her stomach. Those stormy gray eyes following the movement.
“I didn’t realize…”
He stepped toward her. “Lizzy, please, let me explain.”
Her gaze snapped back up to his. Gone were the tears and pain. Now, they were filled with hatred. It burned straight to his soul to see such a dark glare on her sweet face. The tormented gaze pointed right at him, which made it even worse.
“Don’t touch me,” she screamed.
She stepped back, away from him, and his heart twisted.
“The dinners? The movies? All of it was just because you forgot the stupid condom, and now in your tiny, ego-obsessed, male brain, you think you have to ‘do the right thing’ by marrying me?”
She shouted so loud, he was surprised the roof didn’t cave in. He deserved worse. Truth be told, he’d feel better if she just hauled off and slugged him.
“Well, you can go screw yourself, Dade Denning. I’m nobody’s obligation, and I can damn well take care of myself.”
She turned to go, but he couldn’t let her leave like this, so angry and hurt. He had to do something, say something to make this all better. Reaching out, he grabbed her arm. He had to make her listen to him, make her understand he took care of his problems. “Lizzy, wait—”
Her fist came out of the air connecting with his face in a surprisingly hard punch.
Dade let her go, placing the hand on his stinging cheek. The woman packed a wallop. What was that he was thinking earlier about feeling better if she slugged him?
Those stormy gray eyes filled with agony as tears tracked down her cheeks. He had never seen so much anguish in anyone’s eyes before. If he still had a heart, it would be breaking right now.
“Don’t you ever touch me again.” Her lower lip started to tremble. “I hate you, Dade.”
Then she turned to leave.
“Hey, what’s going on?” Maggie stepped into the kitchen, but Lizzy just pushed past her on her way to the front door. “Lizzy? Sweetie, what’s wrong?”
The sobbing woman didn’t answer. Dade watched from the window as she slammed the front door, got into her car, and peeled out of the driveway. Remembering the pain in her eyes, the hurt in her voice, tore him to pieces. He never meant for any of this to happen.
Maggie turned, her brow pinched with worry. She gazed back and forth between him and Colton.
“Someone want to tell me what’s happening, and why my best friend in the whole wide world just ran out of here looking shattered?”
No and no.
The sad part of this whole mess was he was the broken one. Not Lizzy. He was the one without a heart.
He never wanted to hurt her. It was why he tried so hard to stay away. He never meant to crush her.
Oh God, what have I done?
Chapter 28
Lizzy stumbled into her apartment, tears streaming down her face. Her stomach twisted in on itself. Worst of all, her heart felt like it had been ripped right out of her chest.
How? How could Dade have done this?
She was no fool. He made it clear from the start he couldn’t love her, and she accepted that. But when he said he wanted more, she thought he was coming to care for her just a little. She was a fool, a fool to ever believe Dade was different from every other person in her life.
Her parents wanted her to be like them. Her past boyfriends dated her for her connections. Now Dade only wanted her because she might be pregnant with his child.
It’s not fair!
Her hand went to her stomach. It was flat, but that didn’t mean anything. She had heard once most women didn’t show until the fifth or sixth month. Could she really be pregnant? She counted back the days to that fervent moment in the back of the cupcake shop. It had been passionate, wild, and so damn hot. Their lovemaking had been so overwhelming, she hadn’t even realized they forgot the condom.
She swallowed hard as she finished the math. The timing couldn’t be worse. Right in the middle of her cycle. And now that she was counting, she realized she was two days late.
How did I miss that?
Mixed emotions rose within her.
A baby. She could be having a baby.
She never really thought of herself as a mother. Having such a crappy one growing up, she didn’t put much weight in the idea. Then she remembered Maggie’s mother, and how Ms. Evans always treated Lizzy like her own daughter…baked goods, boy advice, a friendly ear, and warm hugs whenever needed. A fond smile tilted her lips. That was the kind of mother she wanted to be. Would be?
Holy crap. I might be a mother!
Her nervous joy came crashing down as she remembered the father of the baby. Ugh. She was such an idiot. Of course Dade only started dating her because of the baby. He was the most responsible man she knew. He hadn’t been spending time with her because he wanted to. He just wanted to fulfill his “obligation” to the mistake he made.
Fierce protective instincts rose, and she clutched her belly. No way in hell would she ever let her child think it was a mistake. She might not have planned for this to happen, but she damned well would love this baby with all her heart—once she picked up the broken pieces and put it back together.
But she was getting ahead of herself. Just because she might be pregnant didn’t mean she was. First thing first—she had to go get a pregnancy test. Once she knew for sure, she’d make a plan and move on from there.
Determination building, she rose from the couch, wiping her damp eyes with the sleeve of her shirt. Making her way to the bathroom, she turned on the faucet. Splashing the cool water on her face, she imagined washing away all the people in her life that wanted a piece of her, but not all of her. Her exes, her parents, Dade.
They can all go to hell. She didn’t need any of them.
Twisting the knobs, she turned the water off and dried her face with a hand towel.
“You are Elizabeth Audrey Hayworth and you are awesome the way you are,” she told her reflection in the mirror. “If other people can’t see it, then it’s their loss.”
Affirmation in place, she set about with her plan. First, find out if she needed to stock up on diapers. Second, live a successful, fabulous life being loved for all of her, not just parts. Third, forget about a certain blue-eyed, stoic, stickin-the-mud, sexy cowboy who filled her heart and then crushed it beneath his horse-crap covered boots.
Damn. The last one would be the hardest.
Chapter 29
“I’m not speaking to you, Dade Denning, so don’t even ask!”
Dade followed his soon-to-be sister-in-law into the kitchen. Maggie had been giving him the cold shoulder ever since Lizzy ran out of the house crying a few days ago. He couldn’t blame her. He deserved every b
it of animosity she threw his way. He’d acted like a jackass. Still…
“Come on, Maggie. Lizzy won’t return my calls. She sent back the flowers. I don’t know what else to do.”
The petite woman turned to face him, daggers shooting out of her emerald gaze. “You could try not being a coldhearted bastard for once.”
He winced. She wasn’t wrong, but it was still hard to hear.
“Look,” he said, trying to dig himself out of the cavern he’d created. “I know I should have talked to Lizzy about the possible pregnancy.”
“Ya think?” Maggie rounded on him. “You two had this ‘just sex’ thing going on, then you up and changed the rules. Lizzy thought it was because you were starting to care for her, but low and behold, she finds out it’s only because you feel guilty for knocking her up. That’s cruel, Dade.”
He was amazed Lizzy shared so much of their personal relationship with Maggie. He shouldn’t be. Women tended to share a lot more with each other than men. If your buddy was having a rough time you just bought him a beer. Problem with the missus, buy her a present. Men didn’t share their feelings like women did. Considering where not sharing had gotten him, maybe the fairer sex had the right idea.
“I do care about her.”
“Well, you have a crappy way of showing it.”
“I was just trying to do the right thing.”
Her jaw dropped in disgust. “The right thing? Do you know how condescending that sounds?”
What? Where the hell did she get condescending from that statement? Now, he was thoroughly confused.
She held a hand up in the air and shook her head. “When men try to do the right thing by being with a woman just because she’s pregnant, it means he’s only doing it because he feels like he screwed up. Can you imagine the person you care about staying with you solely because they are trying to fix what they think is a mistake?”
When put that way, it did sound like a shitty thing to do.
“Lizzy has always had trouble with her personal relationships. Her parents want her to follow in their footsteps. They don’t care what she wants, they only want her to do what they want. The men she’s dated in the past used her for her connections. I can’t tell you how many first dates asked her to introduce them to her producer father because the jackasses thought he’d be perfect for Mr. Hayworth’s next film.”
Love on the Wild Side Page 17
