Something dark burned in his chest. He didn’t want to think about the men in Lizzy’s past. Especially not the dicks who just used her to further their career. She deserved to be treated much better.
“My mother and I were the only people who have ever accepted Lizzy for who she is and asked for nothing in return. Now, it’s just me.”
Ms. Evans passed away a few years back. He knew it was still hard on Maggie. He didn’t even think about how it might have affected Lizzy. From what the two women said, she was like a second daughter to Ms. Evans. Much more loving than her own mother, anyhow.
“I’m not going to say too much because it’s not my place, but she cares about you, Dade. A lot. And the way you treated her was just plain crappy. You basically told her you were only with her because of the baby. So, once again, no one wants Lizzy for just Lizzy.”
“I never said that to her.” But he did say it to his brother, sort of. He knew he behaved like an aserk—to use Lizzy’s word—but that didn’t mean he didn’t care about—
Hold on a second. His brain focused on the words Maggie had been using. Only with her because of the baby. Not the possibility of a baby. The baby.
His world stopped. One very important question bounced around his brain as he grasped his future sister-in-law by the shoulders. “Is Lizzy pregnant?”
Lips sealed tight, she refused to answer.
Maggie had been saying “the baby” and “pregnant” as if she knew something he didn’t. Dade only had speculation Lizzy could be pregnant. Had she taken a test? Was it positive?
An odd thing happened inside his gut. Instead of fear and dread at the prospect of being a father, he was filled with…joy. He could see Lizzy growing round with their child. He envisioned them all spending Christmas in front of the crackling fireplace at the ranch with Lizzy wrapped up in his arms. He saw a happy family, and it made his heart—the one he always thought of as dead—come fully alive with yearning.
Rachel was gone. She died a long time ago. He loved her, and a small part of him always would, but he only now realized he couldn’t let his heart go to the grave with her. That was what she had been trying to tell him when she rejected his proposal. She hadn’t wanted him to mourn her for the rest of his life. Damned if he’d almost done it anyway.
Suddenly, it didn’t matter if Lizzy was pregnant or not. Dade knew he wanted to be with her and not out of any obligation. What he once thought impossible had happened. His long dead heart had come back to life. From the moment he met her, he felt something, and now he was finally ready to admit to himself what it was.
Love.
He loved Lizzy. He loved her smart mouth, her independence, her courage, her ability to surprise him. Hell, he loved every damn thing about the woman. It was about time he told her, too. Baby or not, he wanted to be with her.
“Tell Colt I’ll be back later.”
The sun still shone high in the sky, but he didn’t care. He needed to talk to Lizzy, now. She wasn’t answering his calls, didn’t matter. This was a face-to-face kind of conversation. He had a lot of groveling and convincing to do.
“Where are you going?” Maggie’s eyes narrowed in suspicion.
He slapped his hat on his head and grabbed the knob to the kitchen door. “To go tell the woman I love I want her. All of her, no matter what.”
A knowing smile tipped her lips, and she gave him a thumbs up. “Good luck, cowboy. You’re gonna need it.”
He grinned back.
“Here.” She handed him a plastic container.
“What’s this?”
“It’s my very delicious shortbread which Lizzy loves.”
“Peace offering?”
Her shoulders lifted in a shrug. “With Lizzy, food works better than flowers.”
He picked up his tiny future sister-in-law in a fierce bear hug. Since she was only about five foot three, it was very easy to do. She squealed as he lifted her off the ground. Setting her back down, he placed a brotherly kiss on her cheek.
“Thanks, Maggie.”
As he ran to his truck, he heard her call out, “Watch yourself, Dade. Lizzy is awfully stubborn when she’s upset.”
Yes, she was. Just one more thing to love about her.
He hopped in his truck, put the gear in drive, and headed down the driveway toward town. Lizzy was stubborn, sassy, sexy, and most importantly his. Now, he just had to convince her of the last one.
Chapter 30
Morning sickness? They should call it randomly throughout the day sickness, Lizzy thought as she clung to the toilet bowl in her apartment.
The contents of her breakfast, plus two Banana-Rama cupcakes, had flown out of her stomach and currently colored her toilet bowl a nice yellowish green. Groaning, she rose. If she had anything left to heave, the sight of that putrid colored toilet bowl would have brought it up. Thankfully, her stomach was currently empty. Putting the lid down, she flushed. The nausea started two days ago. Exactly one day after she had taken five pregnancy tests.
All positive.
She washed her face and grabbed her toothbrush. She remembered the initial fear and panic after the first test had revealed a little plus sign. She’d gone back to the store and bought four more boxes. After the fifth test showed another positive result, the fear gave way to excitement.
She was going to have a baby!
The fear was still there, but now she was starting to get excited about the idea of being a mommy. A little person who loved her, just for being her. Someone who needed her, depended on her. A humbling and terrifying thought. She had no experience with babies. Never even babysat as a kid. But she knew she could tackle this mommy thing, because she already loved this baby so much.
Tears formed in her eyes as she brushed her hand across her stomach. The happiness was tainted with sadness. She loved her baby so much, but what about its daddy? No doubt Dade would be an amazing father. He was so good with all the horses on his ranch, and he was fair and kind to his employees, but did he want to be a father? He said he had no heart anymore and could never love her. Did that extend to their child?
She knew what it felt like to grow up with parents who didn’t love you. Sure, her parents probably loved her deep, deep, way deep down somewhere in their silicone-enhanced bodies, but they never told her.
Would Dade tell their child he loved them? Would he be lying?
A knock on the front door interrupted her thoughts. It had to be Maggie. Her best friend mentioned bringing shortbread cookies later today. Her now empty stomach rumbled with anticipation. Maggie’s shortbread had been the only thing to settled her nausea these past few days. Making her way to the door, she opened it wide without looking through the peephole first.
Crappola! She really should have looked.
Anger simmered, and she tried to slam the door shut, but Dade’s big hand reached out, grasping the edge, preventing her from closing it.
“Go away, Dade. I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Then just listen.”
His bright, sky blue eyes pleaded with her, but she was in no mood for more of his bullshit.
“Why should I listen to anything you have to say?”
He brought his other hand out from behind his back. Offering her the rectangular container he said, “Because I brought you Maggie’s shortbread.”
What? Why did Maggie give him the shortbread? When had her best friend turned traitor?
Her heart and stomach warred with each other. Remembering she was eating for two now, her stomach won.
“Fine,” she spat out, grabbing the cookies from him and stepping away from the door. “You have ten minutes to make your case.”
Without looking back to see if he’d followed, she went into the living room. Sitting on the couch, she opened the container. The cookies smelled like heaven. She scarfed down three before glancing up and noticing Dade sitting, wisely, in the seat next to the couch.
Brushing crumbs from the corner of her mouth, she watched as h
is gaze tracked her fingers. She sucked the crumbs off of them, and his gaze heated with desire.
Oh, hell no!
After what he did to her, his mind better not be thinking what she thought it was thinking. He may be sexy, and her stupid heart might have fallen for him, but she had too much self-respect to let herself travel down that road with him again.
Didn’t she?
“The clock is ticking, so start talking.” There, she did.
Lust clearing from his eyes, he focused on her again. He removed his hat and placed it on the table. As she glanced toward it, she remembered one night a week ago when she had been wearing that hat and nothing else. She certainly saved a horse that night. Her nipples hardened at the memory.
Dammit! Even after all he did to her, she still wanted him. How messed up am I?
“Lizzy, I am so sorry,” he began, clearing his throat nervously. “I never meant to hurt you. It was never supposed to get this far. I just—”
“Had to fulfill your obligation?”
His jaw clenched. “No—I mean at first yes, I admit I came up with the dating idea because I was worried I’d gotten you pregnant. I was taught to do the right thing, and if I bring a baby into this world, I want to take care of it.”
“You can take care of a baby without being forced to marry its mother.” Her words were laced with venom, but she didn’t care. This man hurt her more than anyone. He pretended to care for her out of a screwed up sense of moral duty. “Why didn’t you just talk to me? Bring up the fact you forgot the condom and I might be pregnant? Why the lies, Dade?”
He scrubbed a hand over his head. His short, dark hair stuck out at odd angles. She found it almost adorable how disheveled he was…almost.
“I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking all right? I freaked out and—shit, Lizzy, this wasn’t supposed to happen.”
Tears welled in her eyes. Good grief, would she ever stop crying? Maybe the pregnancy was making her extra hormonal. She read it did that to most women.
“What wasn’t supposed to happen? Which part? You lying to me? Forgetting the condom? Breaking my heart?”
“No, me falling in love with you.” The words were a soft whisper, falling in the quiet air like a ton of bricks.
She sucked in a sharp breath, desperately wanting to believe in him, but knowing she couldn’t. “You’re lying again. You’re only saying that because of the baby.”
He stood, pacing in front of the couch. “No, I’m not I—wait did you say the baby? So, you are pregnant.”
She stood as well. No reason to give him any advantage. “You told me from the very beginning you couldn’t love me. You said your heart died. So, you’re only saying you love me now because you feel like you have to.”
He ignored her rebuttal. Taking a step forward, he reached out. “Lizzy, are you pregnant?”
She shook off his hands, wrapping her arms around her middle. She wanted to be cruel and keep him in the dark. Perhaps move away and never tell him, but she wasn’t that evil. No matter how badly he hurt her, Dade deserved to know about his child. He deserved a chance to be a father.
“Yes,” she confirmed, her voice barely above a whisper.
A stunned expression on his face, he stared at her with…joy? No way. Dade couldn’t be happy about this. Could he? His hand went to her stomach. This time, she didn’t stop him from touching her.
“I’m going to be a father?”
So many emotions swelled inside her. “Yes,” she whispered again, her voice choking on tears. Jeez, would they ever stop?
Falling to his knees in front of her, he moved closer to her stomach. He spoke softly to it, stroking lightly with his hand. “Hey there, little baby. I’m your daddy. I love you so much, and I promise to take care of you and protect you as long as I live.”
The tears streamed freely down her face; she couldn’t keep them in any longer. How could she ever have thought Dade wouldn’t love his child? Just because he couldn’t love her—or any other woman—didn’t mean he wouldn’t love his own flesh and blood. Her heart filled with joy for her unborn baby. He or she would be getting such a wonderful father. At the same time, seeing Dade pledge love and devotion to someone who wasn’t even born yet, while he could never do the same to her, ripped a hole in her soul she wasn’t sure would ever mend.
“And I love your mommy, too,” he continued speaking to her belly. “Even if she doesn’t believe me. I’m going to marry her, and we’ll all be one big happy family.”
“Stop,” she pleaded, unable to listen to the lies anymore. The lies she so desperately wanted to be true.
Dade, still on his knees, glance up at her. “It’s true. I do love you, and I want to marry you. Dade Jr. is going to need both his mommy and daddy.”
“What if it’s a girl?”
He grinned. “Lizzy Jr. then.”
She laughed. She couldn’t help it. Even when she hated him, he still made her laugh. But it wouldn’t work. Without love, a marriage would never last, and she didn’t believe he loved her. Not really. He was just caught up in the moment.
“It won’t work, Dade.” She shook her head. “You don’t need to marry me. We can work out a custody arrangement.”
He rose, his forehead crinkling in an angry scowl. “I don’t want a custody arrangement. I want my family. I want you.”
She shook her head again, but he pressed on.
“I know I said my heart was dead, Lizzy, and it was. I thought I could never love again after Rachel. Then I met you.” Cupping her face in his hands, he wiped away her tears with his warm thumbs. “From the moment I saw you, I felt something, something I’ve never felt before. I fought it for so long because it scared the hell out of me. You scare me.”
“I scare you?” she repeated, hiccupping as emotions choked her.
Gazing deeply into her eyes, he nodded. “The feelings you stir in me do. I felt like I was betraying Rachel, but she never would have wanted me to live my life all alone. That was why she refused my proposal. She didn’t want me to mourn her.”
“But you did anyway.”
He nodded, his expression grim. “I did. For far too long. I convinced myself I was dead inside. Then you came along and brought me back to life.”
Such a sweet thing to say. So romantic and wonderful. Just the thing you should say to a woman you wanted to marry. Which was why she didn’t believe it. No matter how nice the words, how pretty a picture he painted, Dade was a man who did the right thing. In his mind, marrying the mother of his unborn child was the right thing. He may not realize what he was doing, but she did. In trying to persuade her to marry him, Dade had convinced himself he loved her.
But he didn’t.
More tears flowed as she shook her head.
“I think you should leave now.”
Any more flowery declarations of love and she’d forget her good sense and agree to marry the guy.
He scowled, dark eyebrows drawing together. “I do love you, Elizabeth. What do I have to do to get you to believe me?”
Elizabeth. He once told her he only used her full name when she was being stubborn. Fine, she was being stubborn. It was either be stubborn and try to put the pieces of her heart back together, or give in to Dade and suffer potentially catastrophic heartbreak later when he woke up and realized he didn’t truly love her. She didn’t think she could recover from that.
“Please,” she whispered, unable to meet his gaze. “Just go.”
“Oh no,” a dark, ugly voice hissed. “Please stay. It saves me a trip.”
Gaze snapping up, Lizzy turned her head toward the front door, wide open, with a very pissed off looking James Carr standing in the doorway. The angry man reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a very large and lethal gun. Her heart jumped up into her throat. Fear clouded her vision, all but freezing her in place.
“Now,” sneered Carr, closing the door behind him. “Let’s get down to business, shall we?”
Chapter 31
D
ade shifted his body so he blocked Lizzy from Carr. Well, this put a kink in his plans to win her over.
The man looked like a bomb ready to explode. His face flamed beet red. Veins popped out on his forehead and neck. Carr wasn’t a big man, about five seven and a little on the heavy side. Compared to Dade’s six three—and honed physique from daily manual labor—the other man was less than intimidating. The Smith and Wesson 500 clutched in his hands, however, was pretty intimidating.
Why the hell does a guy like him have a gun like that?
Dade wasn’t a big gun guy; they had a few rifles around the ranch for scaring off critters, and he lived in an area where people liked to pretend it was still the Wild, Wild West, so he knew all about bullet cannons. The Smith and Wesson 500 was one of the most powerful handguns on the market. If Carr fired that thing at this close of a range…well, neither he nor Lizzy would have to worry about much of anything anymore.
“Carr,” he began, trying to affect a calm, soothing voice. The kind he used on a skittish horse. “What are you doing here?”
Dark, beady eyes narrowed. “Why the hell do you think I’m here, cowboy? She ruined my life, and now she’s going to pay!”
The gun in his pudgy hand shook as the crazy man motioned to Lizzy, standing behind him, clutching his shirt so tight, he thought she might rip it right off.
Okay, so the guy wanted to kill Lizzy. That was pretty damn obvious from the absurdly large gun pointing at them. He tried to remain calm. He had to, for Lizzy and his child. It still blew his mind he was going to be a father. Moments ago, he had been so happy to discover that fact. A baby with the woman he loved. He knew he could convince Lizzy he loved her. Only a matter of time. They would be so freaking happy together. He knew it with every fiber of his being. Now, he was terrified this irrational man, with a fabricated vendetta, was trying to take it all away from him.
No. He wouldn’t let that happen. No way in hell was he going to let this pathetic excuse for a man take away what he loved most, not when he just realized how much he loved Lizzy. No one was going to take her away from him now. They were going to get out of this alive, and Carr would be the one to pay. He’d see to it personally.
Love on the Wild Side Page 18
