Divorced, Desperate And Dating

by Christie Craig

  He caught up with her. “Maybe I would. Maybe I wouldn’t. I’m not sure.” There were all sorts of innuendos in his tone. He opened the passenger door for her. After crawling behind the wheel, he turned to her. “Who is she?”

  “Someone I used to know.” Sue stared out the windshield. Someone I used to care about. Only, she didn’t hurt as much as she once would have. She took a deep breath and couldn’t deny some emotional current still lingered, but not like before.

  “Come on. Tell me,” Jason pushed.

  Sue looked at him. Maybe she’d found her closure to-night, but she didn’t feel up to sharing it yet.

  “How well did you know each other? You two weren’t—”

  “Oh, please.” Sue leaned back. “Don’t even go there.”

  “Go where?” He grinned knowingly.

  “What is it with men and their lesbian fantasies? How would you feel if the thought of you having sexual encounters with men turned me on?”

  “Stop!” He held up a hand. “I’ve never had a sexual encounter with a man. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but…”

  But you were just kissed by one. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to laugh. Instead she replied, “How would you feel if I wanted you to have had an encounter just so I could hear about it?”

  “I didn’t say I wanted…that. I was just asking.”

  “If I ‘d slept with her, would you want to hear about it?”

  He hesitated. “Okay, so somewhere in the male brain our wiring is off and it would probably turn me on. But that’s not to say I ‘d really want it.” He started the car. “Frankly, I ‘d like to think you’re into men, because that’s what I’m offering.”

  Sue leaned back. “Just drop it, okay?”

  Twenty minutes later, they pulled into her drive, and Jason turned to her with a sigh. “I can’t drop it. Were you two lovers? From what I saw…”

  Sue exhaled. “You know what? I wanted to spare you, but…yes, we were lovers.”

  “Really?” He looked more shocked than turned on.

  She unbuckled her seat belt and scooted close. Raising her hand, she brushed her fingers over the lipstick still smeared on his mouth. Colleen’s lipstick. “I was married to that cute little redhead.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  “Married? You’re joking!” Jason said.

  Sue stared at him. “No. I’m serious.”

  “You were married to a woman?” He looked puzzled.

  “No.” She brushed her fingertips over his lips. “You, Jason Dodd, were kissed by a man.”

  He sank back into the seat and studied her. “That…that was your ex-husband?”

  “Yes.” She added a bit of sweetness to her tone. “Are you happy now?”

  “Hell, no!” His shoulders stiffened.

  She expected him to start ranting about being kissed, but nope. He went for a different rant.

  “Why the hell didn’t you tell me? He could be the one behind all this!”

  She frowned. “He’s not.”

  “Damn it!” He slammed his hand on the steering wheel. “You think it’s a coincidence that he was there?”

  “It wasn’t a coincidence. I told you Collin and I used to go there. Well, he still does. But we weren’t followed. You said so yourself.” In fact, Sue was more suspicious of her own motives. She wondered if, deep down, maybe she hadn’t gone there on purpose, knowing she needed to put the past to bed.

  “How could you not tell me that he was your ex? I needed to ask him…her…him…some questions.”

  “What was I going to do, step out of the bathroom and say, ‘Excuse me, that cute redhead rubbing herself all over you is my ex-husband’?”

  His face paled. “Fuck! He kissed me.”

  She waggled her eyebrows. “How was it? I want details. So I can fantasize.”

  He wiped a hand over his mouth. Twice. Then he unbuckled his seat belt. “Come on.” He dragged her out of the car and to the front door. “I’m going to brush my teeth and then you’re going to kiss me until I can forget. And that may take all night.”

  He brushed his teeth so hard his gums stung. When he came out of the bathroom, he found Sue sitting on the sofa, the remote control in her hands, surfing channels but not looking at the television. Crap. How hard had her ex’s betrayal been on her?

  He sat next to her on the sofa, took the remote control, and cut off the television. “You want to tell me about it?”

  “You know everything,” she said.

  “Not everything.” He pulled her against him.

  She rested her head on his chest. For the longest time, neither of them spoke. Then he heard her sniffle. “I wasted five years loving and believing in a man who was living a lie.”

  It all came out. She started talking, and he listened. Several times he wanted to get up and go back to the bar and beat the shit out of Collin Jacobs, and he didn’t care if the man now wore a dress or looked better than some of the women he’d dated; hurting Sue made him despicable.

  Sue batted at her eyes and tried to dry his shirt with some paper towel. Then she said something surprising: “But…believe it or not, I’m okay. Seeing him was closure for me. You know what I mean?”

  Jason didn’t, but he nodded anyway. After a moment, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her.

  When the kisses got good, she pulled away. “We shouldn’t. I just—”

  “I know. You don’t know if I’m worth the risk.” It was his frustration talking, but when he looked at her it vanished. “It’s okay.”

  But it wasn’t. He saw a world of doubt and lingering pain in her big blue eyes, and damn, if he didn’t wish he had the magic words to make it all go away. He recalled something she’d said several times when she’d talked about her ex earlier. It was supposed to last forever. Then he heard the numerous warnings he’d been issued over the past few days. From Sue’s grandfather, from Danny, from Chase. Even Maggie had told him, “Jason, you treat that girl right. Don’t you go hurting anyone.” And while he could offer Sue a thousand promises, he knew the one thing he couldn’t offer was forever.

  Not that she’d asked for it, herself. Not exactly. Hell, most people didn’t believe in forever anymore. One out of two marriages ended in divorce, didn’t they?

  Whoa! How had the word marriage come up?

  “It’s late,” she said.

  He nodded. “I’ll call you.” He watched her walk away, then headed straight for the bathroom.

  He stayed in the shower for the longest time. As he leaned against the tiled wall, the water rolled down his body and ran down the drain. Its coldness chased away his arousal, but he kept waiting to lose the uneasy feeling in his chest.

  The feeling didn’t go away. So he did what he’d done for most of his life, shoved the emotions away and focused on something else. He focused on Sue’s case, went over the facts and made himself a mental list of what to do next. And by the time he tossed his sheets on the shot-up sofa, he realized it was after midnight.

  “Shit.” He’d said he would call Sue. Grabbing his phone, he punched in her number. She finally answered.

  “Were you asleep?” He imagined her softly tucked in, her curves draped in cotton animal pajamas.

  “Almost. But don’t sweat taking a long time—I’m used to you not calling.”

  He fought back annoyance. “Hey, I had to take a cold shower. Someone left me in a world of pain.”

  “I told you that you shouldn’t be kissing me,” she replied.

  “How else am I going to convince you?” He lay back on the sofa and his frustration peaked again. “I could make you feel so good. Do you know what I’d do first?”

  “You’re going to talk yourself into another cold shower,” she warned.

  “Or you might have pity on me,” he said.

  “Remember, your mother said for you to stop pressuring me.”

  “I never minded very well. First, I’d slip my hand under your pajama top. Wait? What kind of animal a
re you wearing to night?”

  She hesitated. “Kittens.”

  “I’d slip my hand under your kitten pajamas, slowly move it up your stomach and higher. Your nipples would tighten and beg for me to taste them.”

  He wondered if this was turning her on. It was definitely arousing him.

  He ran a hand over his own chest. “To do that, of course, I’d have to remove your shirt. I’d undo one button, then another. Like I did when I was in bed with you the other night. Do you remember what it felt like when I had your nipples in my mouth? You tasted so good.”

  “Is this phone sex?” Sue’s voice sounded soft, but she didn’t object. “Because I’ve never done this before.”

  “Me either, but I’ll give anything a shot once. It might take the edge off, if you know what I mean.” He prayed she knew what he meant.

  “I…don’t know how.”

  He gave a small laugh. “I don’t think there’s hard and fast rules. If we’re actually having phone sex…” He waited for her to object but she didn’t. “We each do the work but pretend it’s the other person. We sort of talk each other through it.”

  When there was silence on the other end of the line, he took a deep breath and moved forward. “Where’s your hand now?”

  She hesitated. “On the bed.”

  “Could you slip it inside your pan ties? You are wearing pan ties, aren’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  “What color are they?”

  He heard her shuffle and imagined her raising her pajama bottoms to check.

  “White.”

  He imagined the white pan ties she’d been wearing the day he’d stormed into her bedroom, and it made him harden even further. He groaned. “Slip your hand inside your pan ties, Sue. All the way in. Where it feels good.”

  He pushed his own hand inside his boxers. “Are you touching yourself?” There was a silence. “Sue? Where’s your hand?”

  “It’s…there.”

  “Where’s ‘there’?” His dick throbbed, and he wrapped his fist around it.

  “Do I have to talk dirty, too?”

  He chuckled. “I think it helps.” Another long pause. “Do you want me to tell you where my hand is?”

  “I guess.” Her voice was wispy.

  “It’s wrapped around my dick. Which is harder than iron now. Because I’m imagining you touching yourself, imagining that it’s you touching me. I’m throbbing. So hot. Only one thing would feel better.” He took a deep breath and moved his hand up and down. “If I were inside you. Inside…where your hand is now.” He closed his eyes and wondered how she would taste, how her fingers would taste after to night…

  “Are you wet?” he asked. “Tell me how you feel.”

  “I feel…embarrassed.” Then she snickered. “I’m sorry. I lied. I’m not touching myself.”

  Feeling like a fool, he jerked his hand from his pants. “Damn,” he growled. “Take a chance on me.”

  “I can’t.” The playfulness in her tone had vanished.

  “Why? We’re crazy about each other.”

  “I know, but—”

  “I’m not your ex.” Frustration built in Jason’s chest. He cared about her more than he’d ever cared about anyone. Hell, he cared more than he even wanted to care.

  “I know,” she said. There was a long pause. “But I was hurt, Jason.”

  “We’ve all been hurt, Sue. But we don’t stop living.”

  “No. But maybe if I ‘d been more careful before I let myself care about Collin then I would have seen his issues.”

  Jason raked a hand over his face. “You can’t punish yourself because someone else is screwed up. You can’t punish other people for Collin’s mistake of not being honest with you.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “You can’t go around thinking the worst of me because of what that asshole did.”

  “I don’t think the worse of you! As a matter of fact, I wish I didn’t like you. I wish you didn’t make me laugh or make me feel safe. I wish you were mean to little old ladies bearing cucumbers. I wish I didn’t want to make love to you. But I do want to.”

  “Then do it.”

  “I can’t. Not yet.” And she hung up.

  “Shit!” Jason stood. Clutching his phone, he let out a deep breath. He wanted to go to her, but instead he headed to the bathroom for another shower. This time he’d have to finish the job himself. Cold water wasn’t going to work.

  And then he realized his frustration wasn’t all sexual. He wanted so much more than sex; he wanted…Sue’s trust. Her approval. He wanted Christmases—or at least the possibility of Christmases. I don’t believe you were a bad kid, he remembered her saying. Now he wanted her to believe he wasn’t a bad man. That he was worth taking a risk on. But, damn, he was tired of having to prove himself.

  As he stepped into Sue’s study on the way to the bathroom, Mama jumped out of her box. She gave him a hopeful look. “I’m not in the mood,” he muttered to the cat. “Besides, why is it that you think I’m a good person but no one else does?”

  The feline froze, and her golden gaze shot to the window. Jason followed it. For a split second he could swear he saw a shadow.

  Realizing he held his phone, he hit redial and moved to the window. He saw nothing, but…

  By the time the phone rang, he’d made it to the living room.

  “Okay, you win.” Sue’s voice flowed through the line. “But I can’t do phone sex. If I’m going to do this, I want the real deal.”

  His breath caught at her words—or was it at the shadow he saw move past the living room window? “Get out of the bedroom!” he shouted. He grabbed his gun from on top of the television. “Get out!” He ran down the hall, shoving open her door.

  Sue stood, her phone still in her hands. The shadow was now at her window, and Jason’s heart stopped when it raised a hand and pointed something that looked like a gun.

  “Get down!”

  He dove across the room, praying he got to her before the bullet.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Jason landed on top of her, pulling Sue behind the bed. “Are you shot? Sue? Are you hurting anywhere?”

  “No.” Her word came out so low that he barely heard.

  The knot of pain in his chest started to unfurl, but his knuckles throbbed. Somehow, during the fall, he’d managed to place his hand behind her head to cushion it. “You sure you’re okay?” He turned her face to his.

  She nodded, but even in the semi darkness he saw the panic in her eyes and remembered she’d just agreed to have sex with him. Damn. “You have lousy timing, sweetheart.”

  “Did…someone just shoot at us?” Her voice shook.

  “Yeah.” He rested his forehead against hers. “Don’t move, okay?” He started to pull back.

  “Don’t you move, either.” She clutched her arms around him.

  “I’ll be fine.” He pulled away, poked his head up, and aimed his gun. When he saw only the broken bedroom window, he ran to the opening just in time to see a figure leaping over Sue’s side fence. He jumped through, feeling a sliver of glass cut into his heel. He ran to the fence, pulled himself up, and saw a car squeal away. He couldn’t be sure, but it looked like a Saturn.

  Cursing, he hurried back to Sue and found her balled up beside the bed with the phone pressed to her ear. She jumped up when she saw him. “I called 911.” She dropped the phone and threw herself against him.

  “There’s glass.” He picked her up and started out of the bedroom.

  “They said not to leave the phone.” Her words came out hiccupping.

  “Don’t worry.” He laid her down on the sofa. Remembering the sound of the bullet, fear shot again to his gut. The bastard could have killed her. Terror squeezed the air out of his lungs. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Holding his gun in one hand, he moved his other hand over her.

  “I’m fine.”

  He gazed into her tear-streaked face. Her nose ran; her lips trembled. She was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen
. He cupped her cheek in his palm. “I’m going to kill that bastard.”

  Officer Tomas and a couple of other uniformed officers from Hoke’s Bluff showed up five minutes after Jason carried Sue into the living room. They filled out the paperwork, dusted for fingerprints, and dug the .38 slug from the wall of Sue’s bedroom. Sue hardly talked. She sat on the sofa, biting her lips.

  Jason hurried Tomas and company out of the house, promising the cop he’d bring Sue by tomorrow if there were more questions. Then he found another piece of plywood in her garage and hammered it over her bedroom window. The whole house was beginning to look like this. Then he swept up the glass and changed her bedsheets.

  The mundane details taken care of, Jason’s attention shifted solely to Sue, who still sat in a ball on her sofa, her cat curled beside her. She looked exhausted, but he could tell by the way her gaze kept moving to her bedroom that she wasn’t going to be able to sleep there to night. For that reason, Jason led her to his car fifteen minutes later. The fact that she didn’t complain about leaving, hadn’t asked to change out of her pajamas or pack some clothes—he’d done the latter for her—told him a lot about her mental state.

  “Where are we going?” she finally asked, standing like a sleepwalker by his car.

  He got her inside, then crawled behind the wheel. Glancing over at her, he thought about taking her to Chase’s. But what if the bastard had once followed Sue there? His own place was an hour away, but…

  He reached over and belted her in. “We’re going to Maggie’s.”

  She hesitated. “Your mother’s? At this hour?”

  “She runs a B & B and lives in the guest house. We’ll just grab a room.”

  “What about Hitchcock? And Mama and the kittens?”

  “They’ll be okay. I put out some fresh water and chow. I don’t think your stalker’s after them.”

  Backing out of the driveway, he kept his eyes peeled for cars. Part of him was wishing that the freak would show back up while he was mad enough to shoot first and ask questions later.

  Sue exited the car, following Jason to a door where he fit a key. Only then did she realize she’d left home wearing pajamas. “Jeez!”