by Dee King
“As we do you…” My father’s words escape his lips just before they disappeared.
They were gone. In an instant, they vanished from my life. Standing there almost in disbelief, waiting for them to come back, searching all around me. I had found my voice, I had wanted them to hear me. I had wanted more answers, I had wanted… any sign of true love… Pulling myself together, this was where I had to be the one who held it together. No more crying, no more self-loathing. Everyone had been right. I would want that time back that I never took. The answers were always unclear until this moment. Maybe it wasn’t the best life from a couple of people who had decided my fate for me, but it was my life now. It was mine to make great. It was mine to make great for my children, for the future, and one day I would see them again. Till then the answers would have to wait, they would have to go unanswered for years to come. I had been selfish for a long time, trying to always grant everyone’s wishes, trying to solve all the problems, but never my own. Maybe there was nothing left to answer? Maybe the answers were that all along. That seeking the answers I wanted would have never been good enough? It didn’t matter anymore, they were gone now. All of them, gone. Vanished. Everyone starts to disperse among themselves, some holding each other as they went separate ways, speaking softly to one another. Then there were only the four of us, standing quietly, searching that great big sky above us for one last goodbye.
“Selene?” Sebastian’s voice echoing in my ears.
“Yes, I know, time to let go...” Trying to muster a smile at him as we walk our family back into our home.
Our children made their ways to their rooms as we sat quietly across from one another. My dress was a mess, my hair unfolding from the braid, and my cheeks stained with the tears of the night. This was going to be a different way of life. A life we weren’t prepared for. A life without battles, a life without fear, and a life that would last an eternity. Hearing footsteps coming down from the balcony, we both turn, seeing Atlas making his way towards us.
“I found this.” He hands me a letter.
My name was written in beautiful calligraphy and addressed to Selene. That’s all it said. Kissing Atlas on the forehead thanking him, he hugs me tight. He tells me that he loves me and is thankful that I’m his mother. His words were some of the sweetest I had ever heard. I thank him once more, taking his face into my hands and him without him and his sister I would be lost. He makes his way back up the stairs as Sebastian and I stand there staring down at the letter. This was like de-ja-vu all over again. The last letter we had received was a turning point in our fate as a couple. It’s what had brought us to this journey. Sitting beside one another, turning the letter over in my hands, there was another seal. This one was of my father’s. An anchor in the middle of the red seal. It could only be from him. My eyes meet Sebastian’s, wondering what was next. Would this somehow change the path we were already on? Would this letter be another ‘sealed fate’ or would it be a final goodbye? As I slowly open the letter, Sebastian moves closer to my side to read along with me until he realizes it’s just addressed to me. I take the long, golden paper out of the envelope.
My Darling Selene,
May you now make your own way. May your heart heal from the past and move forward. May you find all that you desire in this world. We will never have the answers you want. The answers you wanted to hear. Just know that you came from a place of love at one time. You are loved. We know you will do what you must now. When you are looking for guidance remember my words. Just look up and those answers are there. It’s your time to be the goddess we all put our hopes into. You will forever make us proud.
One last and final request… Your Mother and I just wanted you to rebuild a new world. A world you saw fit for all of you. A world that had been ruined by so many. Forgive us when you find it in your heart to release all that pain. We never meant to cause you harm, we just wanted you to be the daughter we knew you would become. It’s your time now…
Forever and Always,
Your Mother and Father.
I lay the letter down on my lap, turning my gaze to the fire that still burned. A final goodbye from the two people in all the worlds whom I never thought would ask me for forgiveness. It must have taken them so long to come to this decision to leave with one final goodbye. My mother never having the right words, almost killing me, almost destroying an entire world, and now they wanted forgiveness. That would be hard to do. Maybe in the future I could, but for now, I needed to learn how to heal on my own.
“This is a goodbye letter.” Handing it over to Sebastian.
He reads it, laying a hand on my knee, turning my face towards his.
“One day, this will be a distant memory, but for now… Now, we learn who we are without them.” His words are gentle.
He was right. Laying my head on his shoulder as his arms caress me. For now, we learn to live on our own. We make the worlds a better place than how they left it. We were now the ones who held our own fates.
Chapter Sixty
Learning to live again…
We were sound asleep when Cato bursts through our bedroom door. His voice sounded muffled, but I clearly heard one word. Chris. Then Chloe, then the word Chris, then some foul language, swearing at me, then at them, then basically the world. Chris must have finally made it to the underworld. Rolling out of the bed, Sebastian stood in front Cato yelling at him to get out. Cato throws his hands up in the air, as Iris shuts the door behind him.
“What the hell?” Sebastian says to me, his voice angry and loud.
“What did I do?” Trying to get my bearings from being woken suddenly.
“Chris? Chris is at the gates of the Underworld? How could you let this happen?” He asks me while putting his dark colored jeans on.
“I didn’t let this happen. He chose it.” Shaking my head back and forth, trying to find something to dress in quickly.
“Just hurry up.” He says to me throwing an old pair of shorts at me.
This wasn’t exactly what I thought the morning after our parents leaving would be like. Nonetheless, duty called, and I still didn’t know the answer to how I was going to save Chris. Finding a shirt and pants, I pulled my messy blonde hair up in a ponytail and make my way down the stairs. Zack and Ian were now a part of the argument. Voices were being raised as Iris kept trying to calm everyone.
“Hey! Would you shut up!” Ian tells Cato, getting in his face.
“No. This was not a part of any deal I made.” He tells Ian, but his face is now towards mine.
“I knew…” Rubbing my eyes, then pulling my hair behind my back, still trying to wake from my slumber.
“What?” Cato says as they all stop yelling at one another.
“That’s why I grabbed you, I tried to stop him, but it was too late. When Colin had made it back last night, I knew he would be there soon.”
“So, now it’s on me to decide his fate?” Cato asks.
“Yes. He was unaware of the fact that if he did this he would meet you. I truly thought Chloe would stay.” Shaking my head back and forth as I folded my arms over my body.
“You thought wrong. Now, what do you want me to do? I can’t be easy on him just because he’s… well, whatever he is to you. This isn’t the time for me to show forgiveness. My father wouldn’t have.”
“No, your father wouldn’t have. But you nor Sebastian are your father. You have the chance and opportunity to do what you please here. I’m not the goddess of the underworld.” My eyes flicker towards Iris.
They had secretly gotten married when all this was coming about. One last secret. But at least with this one, it was a secret that I could be happy about. Everyone is now looking at one another, wondering who was going to decide Chris’s fate. Cato wasn’t even really allowed up here, but we had broken too many rules at this point.
“He defied you, he defied our rules. He is mortal, and if I am correct, Chloe won’t be much farther behind him.”
“What? What does that me
an?”
“Their futures were tied together. You were the guide along their path, and since they broke that, they will now have to answer for those actions.”
My mind raced. What did it mean that I was their guide?
“I’m lost.” Shrugging my shoulders in confusion.
“You were a goddess who walked among them. You were their guide to do the right thing. We all had someone in our lives on Earth that was like that. We were to show them the right way to be, but they defied that. Chloe’s fate was tied to Chris’s. She will be there soon.” His voice disgusted with my lack of this kind of knowledge.
“Um… okay? Well, again, this is your decision. Why did you even come here? You already know what you want to do.” Rolling my eyes at him.
“I don’t want any kind of backlash again from you or your children just for doing my damn job.” His words stung.
“Back up. Don’t bring our children into this. If this job is too hard for you, Cato, then we can find someone else who can do it.” Sebastian tells Cato in a low voice, but he made his point clear.
“Alright, well, I guess I have some work to do. See you.” Cato says, grabbing Iris by the hand and storming out of our home.
Iris yells see you later, but I had already waved my hand towards the door as it slammed shut muffling her voice.
“Whatever you’re thinking, don’t do it. I know you…” Ian says to me smiling.
“I wasn’t going to do anything.” A creepy smile stretches across my face.
“Selene, don’t. Just let Cato do his job. This has to be this way.” Sebastian chimes in with his truth that I didn’t want to hear.
“Yep.” Was all I could say as I left them standing in the middle of the living room.
What could I do even if I wanted to? I couldn’t go down there, I couldn’t make Cato do what I wanted, he was the God of the Underworld, this had to be something he controlled. Even though my heart was breaking, I was about to lose the only family I had left from another life. Thoughts of Elizabeth and I peeked through my mind. Seeing her and I laughing together, watching my past race by in my mind. Memories began to pour through me. The first time I met Chloe, the time that Chris had decided we were going to be brother and sister regardless of what any piece of paper said. Their fates had all been tied to me. I let them down in many ways, but love wasn’t always strong enough. I couldn’t make someone love someone. I couldn’t make someone love me even if I had tried. Running away to the beach, I let the water hit my feet, trying to make sense of all this. The waves crashed all around me. This wasn’t just goodbye to my parents, it was goodbye to everyone I had ever loved in another lifetime.
“I knew I would find you here.” Hearing Sebastian’s sweet voice, I turn slowly.
“You do know me… Actually, I think you’re the only one who does truly know me.” Staring down at my feet as the water still crashes around them.
“You know this decision for Cato won’t be easy, right?”
“Yes, I know. That’s why I had tried pleading with him. At this point it’s time I face reality.”
“What’s that mean?” He asks coming closer to the water’s edge.
“That I can’t control everything and that I must let others do what they are meant to do.”
“Hmm…” He says sitting down, taking his shoes off, and then tossing them to the side.
“You know, this is where I almost lost you forever.” His eyes panning the water we were now standing in.
“I do.” Grabbing him by the shirt collar, pulling him towards me.
“And I also remember the day before we got married watching you surf. I have been watching you surf for as long as I can remember. You have always been my love…” He says sweetly kissing my pink lips.
“And I will always be grateful for you saving me in every way that someone can be saved.” I kiss him back as we fall to our knees with the water crashing all over us.
This is where I wanted to be. With him. With the one person who saw me for me. Not the goddess that the others needed, not the monster that I had become, not the mother to the two most powerful gods that had ever been born, but just me. Selene. No one would ever understand the love I felt for Sebastian, because it wasn’t something I could put into words. All I had ever wanted was someone to love just me for me. He had saved me in every sense of the word.
Chapter Sixty-One
When do you learn to forgive?
We left the beach hand in hand with me feeling freer then I had in a long time. Too much time with Sebastian would never be enough. He was always my rock, even when I messed up on so many levels. He didn’t care about any of that, he always gave me the strength to keep the fight going, to be the gentle soul I knew was in there. Too much would never be enough. Keeping my mind focused on a better future, on a future I wanted to live, I stare up at him. His eyes blue as the skies, hair dark as coal, and the smile of a god. He was truly a beautiful sight to behold while my heart was being torn to pieces. The thought of starting a life over without everyone was scary. My best friend had chosen to let this happen. She may have chosen to love but she also chooses vanity. There would be no way that I could save them from the fate that awaited Chris and her.
“There you are.” We hear Ian say as he sees us walking towards the mansion.
“Yes, here we are.” Sebastian says with a smirk.
“What happened now?” I ask through laughter.
“Oh, you will definitely want to see this. Hurry up!” Ian yells back at us as he runs the opposite direction of our home.
We follow swiftly behind him, making our way into the seeing room. We walk in just in time to hear our children laughing. Everyone backs out of the way for us to lean over into the glass, and that’s when we see it. There was a huge monument being built. On the side it read, ‘Soon to be a reminder of our goddess, Selene.’ The mortals were building a monument to me? That was something unexpected, and yet shocking they remembered any of their time here. What I didn’t know was why it was funny.
“Why is this such a big deal and why is it so funny?” I turn facing the others that had gathered in the room.
“Did you see your feet?” My daughter blurts out, then covers her mouth with her hand.
Turning back around to see it, my feet were huge. Now I understood. This replica of me is in their eyes. This huge female goddess, whereas we all see each other as normal. It was kind of funny, but not that funny.
“No, I mean really, they obviously remember us; which is kind of awesome. The only part is they see us as giants, wonder what they would have thought if they had seen some of the real giants that walk around here.” Atlas now with his funny commentary.
We all begin to laugh because it was true. The giants never came out in front of the mortals, that probably would have had some of them trying to jump off the Mount. After we all got over the fact that I was a giant, we finally make it back to our home. A long, hot shower helped clear my head of all that it was trying to make sense of. Standing in front of the mirror and staring at myself, maybe I was starting to see a glimpse of the old me in there somewhere. Wiping the mirror with my hand, standing back, there were signs of age effecting my face and body. Even though it didn’t seem that much time had passed, it was, and it is. There was still time for us to make a difference with our children, still time to change the fate of the worlds. There was still good inside of me. Pulling up on my pants, I notice that there was something shimmering on the bottom of the floor. Bending over I pick it up. It was Sebastian’s ring. Had he dropped it or taken it off? Maybe this was his way of saying he would never return to Earth as we had decided. Dressed now, brushing my hair, staring down at the ring that had started this whole life we had now, it seemed odd to find it on the floor. Walking out of the bathroom I bump into Sebastian, now wearing the ring he once gave me as an engagement ring.
“Are you missing anything?” A cheesy grin crosses my face as I hold my finger up to my lips, showing the ring that he had
lost.
“Where did you find it?” He takes my hand in his, staring down at the ring.
“In the bathroom, did you take it off?” Removing the ring from my finger.
“Yeah, but I had put it away. I have a weird feeling about this…” He places it back on his hand, staring at it like it may have just became the most prized possession he had.
“It’s okay, Sebastian. I found it. Nothing lost.” I wink at him, patting him on the shoulder as I walk out of the room.
My mind started to wonder, though. Why was he worried or had a weird feeling about the ring? It was just an object at this point in our lives. Shrugging it off, finding my children was the next step of my plan for today. Walking towards Nirvana, I stand back and relish in its beauty. We built this place in a matter of days and it was simply phenomenal. There was every aspect of Earth in this place, reminding me of home. Walking through the oversized golden gates, I turn my head to the right, seeing where Alexandria had once been, and it made me shudder. There were children walking around, making their ways to the camps they were a part of. Each one waving as they saw me. When I see Cali teaching a class on bows and arrows, she was in her element. Alex stood off to the side watching her closely, making sure that all her students were paying attention, too. Until he saw me, I just watched in amazement. It was no secret that I didn’t like Cali for a long time, but something in me changed. Alex had betrayed me so many times I was unsure if I could have ever forgiven him, but seeing him like this, made me view him as friend again. Alex waves at me to stop as I had begun to walk away from the camp. Cali had become my sister overnight in my mind. She always knew, but never told the secret. There was so much coming to light it was hard to take in. Especially finding out someone I had loathed was related to me. A sister of all things. One day my heart would open to all of this, but for now, I would take each day as its own. I didn’t want to stop, but Alex was always relentless.
