by Vi Carter
“I missed you,” she admits, and a slow smile stretches across my face. “I missed you, too,” I tell her honestly.
“I thought you would be here sooner.” Her declaration confuses me.
“How so?” I take a deep drink. Darragh’s foot bounces back and forth, but he still has his eyes closed.
“I told Shane weeks ago about where you were.” The alcohol feels heavy in my stomach.
“Maybe he had other stuff on,” I offer, but she looks as troubled as I feel.
“Nah, he was pretty worried about you. But you’re here now,” she says with a chirp in her tone.
“I’m happy you’re home, too,” Darragh says. His voice is drowsy. Una shakes her head, but she can’t hide the smile.
“You love him really,” I tell her, getting up, and she snorts.
“Right, kiddo’s. I’m going to hit the sack.” Darragh mumbles something. The chair will be his bed for the next few hours.
“Night, Connor,” Una says sweetly, and I hope Shane treats her right. She’s good blood.
***
The idea that Shane knew where I was for weeks isn’t sitting right with me. It means he was either watching my movements, or he was too busy to care. I was going with the first scenario. I shower and change into fresh jeans and a shirt before carrying my socks and boots into the kitchen.
The smell of scones wafts into the hall. Mary moves quickly around the kitchen. I bend and kiss her on the cheek. She swings around, her bemused look turning into a smile.
“Connor.” I hadn’t seen her since arriving, and her hug was nice.
“Mary, you’re getting younger,” I tell her, and she swipes at me playfully. Her round face and black curly hair always made her look youthful compared to her actual fifty-plus years.
I’m sitting when she swoops in with a cup of tea.
“One sugar and some milk.” She tells me with a little pat to my head. I’m smiling up at her.
“You’re the best, Mary.” I take a sip, and the tea is perfect. Her robust figure moves around the kitchen, and she fills it with warmth. Her stature changes as Shane arrives in. Both eyebrows rise as he nods at me. Getting his own coffee, he sits down across from me.
“You still living here?” I ask him innocently.
“This is my home.”
“Oh, just was with Una last night, and she said you bought Deerpark Stud.” He places his coffee carefully on the table.
“It’s being renovated at present, but we will be moving in soon.” Mary arrives with toast and places it in front of me. It’s been buttered for me.
“Mary, you’re marriage material,” I tell her, and she giggles. Shane’s face is stone. He doesn’t get toast, and I eat mine slowly.
“Tell me about this guy Brian?”
Shane glances over his shoulder.
“She’s gone,” I tell him.
“No breakfast for me?”
“She doesn’t seem to like you,” I say back, and he shrugs.
“What about Brian?” he questions, and I’m not sure how much I should say.
“He hits that girl Ava.” I admit, the toast feeling heavy in my stomach now.
Shane shrugs again. “And what about it?” He takes a sip of his coffee, and I drop my toast.
“You okay with hitting a woman?” I question, and he sits a bit straighter.
“That’s not what I said. She’s not our problem.” He leans in now. “Look, Connor, you have one fucking job to do. So do it.” He rises like it’s the end of the conversation.
He pours his coffee down the sink before turning to me. “Don’t even think about touching Brian either.”
“Why, because of that cop?” I ask taking a bite of my toast. It doesn’t taste nice anymore, and I put the rest of the slice down.
“What cop?” The way Shane asks tells me he really doesn’t know.
“The cop who’s looking for the missing person. His name’s Harry.” Shane’s back at the table.
“Lying little fucker,” he tells the table.
“I take it he kept that one quiet,” I say, and Shane’s eyes snap up to mine.
“Why hasn’t he warned the cop away from the case with the boy.” Shane stares at me, like the answer is within his reach, but then he glances away while twisting the ring on his finger, the ring that our mother bought him.
“I don’t know, but I’ll find out. Right now just keep away from Brian.” He gets up again, and this time, he leaves the kitchen.
Taking out my phone, I text Ava. Want to meet up tonight? I hit send before sliding the phone back into my pocket. Putting on my boots and socks, I grab my keys before heading outside. The fresh morning air doesn’t help to clear my head. Shane not knowing about Harry being bought by Brian is bothering me.
I take a walk across the fields. I shouldn’t have bothered with clean clothes. My jeans are splashed now with cow dung. I keep walking until I come to the tree line of the forest before I start to relax. I walk deep into the forest before stopping and taking out my phone. I have a message from Ava.
Great. Look forward to it.
I smile at her response before I ring the number I was given to reach my dad on.
He picks up on the first ring. His Northern Irish accent makes me stiffen and relax at the same time.
“Son. I’m glad you rang.”
“Everything okay?” I ask. The fact he’s glad I rang doesn’t make me happy. His gladness is never good.
“We need to meet.” I’m nodding while glancing around the forest.
“Where?”
“Monaghan. Today. I’ll send you the address. Then delete this number.”
“Okay.” He hangs up, and my phone bleeps with the address in Westenra Arms Hotel. At 2 pm.
I arrive back at the house and change my jeans and shoes.
CHAPTER TEN
AVA
Work is slow, and I honestly don’t mind. I’m keeping my hair down, and it’s blocking half my face. I woke up looking worse than when I went to bed. My face had started to bruise. The makeup I applied toned it down, but didn’t cover it up. Thankfully, my only customers are Paul and his friends who were playing pool when I arrived.
The glass in my hand gleams. I’ve been drying the same one for the last few moments. My mind keeps going to the kiss with Connor. I start on another glass as the pub doors open. I turn my back on Harry as he takes a seat at the bar. He isn’t in uniform today. I don’t know what he wants if he’s off duty.
“Anyone serving?” he asks, and I turn with a smile on my face. The sting from my cut has my smile slipping. Harry narrows his eyes on my face, and I push my hair back behind my ear to let him see. His eyes flicker to the bar.
“A Guinness.”
I don’t speak as I go and get him his Guinness. Once I place it on the mat in front of him, he finally glances up at me.
“I can help you,” he sounds so sincere, and I’m leaning in.
“If you help me.” His smile is soft and slimy, and I move away from him, letting my hair fall back like a curtain. People always want something in return. Domestic violence wasn’t enough of a reason to help someone.
I take the twenty off the bar and ring up his drink. Making myself busy down in the lounge area keeps me away from Harry. He doesn’t call for me again, and when I return, he’s gone. His pint left half full.
My shift drags by; the pub only starts to pick up when I’m getting ready to leave. My shift is nearly over, and Patrick steps onto the floor at five to six and lets me go.
My bag and jacket are stashed in the lounge. Once I get them, I’m out the door. It’s starting to get dark already. I don’t have to hide from my landlord anymore, so I use the front door which is next door to the pub. I still need to find a place. It’s something I will have to focus on tomorrow. But right now, I need a shower and to get ready for my date with Connor.
I’m outside when you’re ready. No rush.
My phone lights up on the bed. A message from C
onnor has me taking one final look in the mirror. I’ve left all my hair down and brushed the left side behind my shoulder and down my back. The right is covering my cheek and tumbles down to my waist. Smearing a bit of Vaseline on my lips I’m good to go. My denim jacket holds my card, phone, and now keys. I don’t need a bag. Locking the door behind me, I question my black trousers that look similar to my work ones, but I’m going for comfort. The flat black boots are my favorite, the sides coated in studs.
Traffic moves fast past me as I search up and down the street for Connor. I hadn’t asked him what he was driving. He steps out of an Audi, and that surprises me. He gives me a wave, and his lips tug up into a smile. Ducking my head, I run across the road and don’t glance up until I’m at the car. Connor still watches me, and I smile while tucking my hair behind my ear. His face hardens immediately, and I let my hair fall back as I climb into the car.
“You look lovely,” he says the moment he closes the door. His cologne tantalizes my senses, and I want to lean in and sniff him.
“You too.” I’m grinning now as he puts on his seat belt. He does look good in jeans that hug him and a cream top that moulds itself to his wide chest.
“So where are you taking me?” I ask as he pulls out. My excitement drips into my words.
“We are nearly there,” he tells me with a quick glance.
“Is our date in the car?” I really don’t mind. There is something about Connor that eases me. Just being in his presence is enough.
“No.” I sit back as we leave Kells and make our way out of Drumbaragh Road. Connor takes a right up into a local park. I take a peek at him under my lashes, and when he glances at me, he laughs, and it’s rough and sexy as hell. Butterflies erupt in my stomach at the sound.
“I think I know what you’re thinking, and that’s not why we are here.”
He pulls up to the children’s playground, and his answer makes me relax.
“Come on.” He’s getting out of the car, and I follow him. The place is deserted, but it’s known as a hook up area. That’s what I thought when he pulled up, that he expected me to get dirty in the car. It was well known for late night antics.
We walk up the large hill towards the tower of Llyod. I can’t hide the surprise when Connor extracts a key from his pocket and uses it to open the door.
“Are you serious?” The tower was never really opened, and I’ve always wanted to stand at the top.
“A friend of a friend,” he says with a smirk, and I smile.
“A friend of a friend. You have friends in high places,” I tell him as he holds the door open for me. I start climbing immediately. The stone steps are steep. Lights flicker to life on the wall as Connor closes the door.
The circular stairs are making me dizzy. Rough stone bites into my palm as I run my hand along the wall.
“So do you know why someone built a light house inland?” It always puzzled me.
“Some earl built it in memory of his father. It was used to watch horse racing and the hunt.” I want to look at Connor. His tone is serious, and I want to see the lines on his forehead that normally accompany that serious tone. I also don’t want to fall down the stairs so I focus on each concrete step as we continue to climb.
When we reach the top, my legs burn, and I take a moment.
“164 steps you just climbed,” Connor says.
I glance at him, but my surroundings capture me. I’m standing at the top of world. The only thing separating me and the outside is a pane of glass that runs in a full circle around the top of the tower.
“Wow.” It’s breathtaking, and I move closer to the glass. Looking at the ground makes me want to take a step back.
“Yeah, I like coming here to think.”
“I would too,” I answer, not looking away from the scene before us. Green fields stretch out cut up by trees and small stripes of grey concrete. Car lights flash in the distance. Closing one eye, I cover a moving car with my finger.
“I’m sorry for leaving you last night.” Connor’s words are close. He’s right behind, and I shiver. My eyes clash with his in the glass.
“Don’t be. I was fine,” I tell his reflection.
“I hate that he hurt you.” When he speaks, the lines appear on his forehead. He looks conflicted now, and I turn around so I can see him properly. His brown eyes flicker to my lips, and I wet them.
His fingers reach out and brush my damaged cheek. Closing my eyes, my skin warms, and I can almost feel it heal with his touch.
“My mother was a strong woman. I could never understand her staying.” My eyes snap open at Connor’s words. I hated that I was a reminder of what his mother had suffered. I wasn’t like her. I wasn’t a victim of domestic abuse. This was different. I wasn’t staying. I wasn’t being someone’s punch bag. I went to the guards. He just had them bought off.
“As I got older, I learned she stayed for her children. She hid it so well.” His smile carries no happiness. There is a weight on his shoulders that I want to lift off.
“She was a good mother,” I tell him, and his eyes rest on me.
“She was stupid.” His brows furrow as he speaks harshly, and there it is. He thinks I’m stupid too.
“I’m sorry about your mom, Connor, but I’m not her.” I didn’t want to be a ghost of something so painful for him. My words cause him to take a step back while widening his eyes.
“I know you’re not. I just… I want to beat the shit out of Brian.”
I want him to beat the shit out of Brian too. I allow myself to picture that, and a smile tugs at my lips before reality comes crashing back in.
“I know, but you’d end up hurt worse than him, and I don’t want that.” My confession surprises me. I don’t know Connor, but I don’t want to see him hurt.
He takes a step back towards me as his lips pull up into a smile.
This time, he takes my face with both hands, his eyes searching mine. I don’t hesitate to rise on tippy toes and kiss him. His lips are warm and moist, and I moan into his mouth as he pulls me closer to him. His body flush against mine. We are moving, and my back touches a cold surface. My tongue slips easily into his mouth and his moves into mine. His moan this time has me pushing myself harder against him.
His large palm brushes my left breast. Hard nipples push against my black top, and I shift my body so his fingers brush my nipples. Wetness pools in-between my legs, and I want him so bad. My fingers are digging into his shoulders as I try to move him closer. His bulge brushes my sensitive area, and I am pushing off his jacket, unbuttoning his shirt, and he isn’t stopping me. Opening my eyes, I take in his tanned skin, smooth and muscular. Our kiss is broken, and his deep brown eyes have me holding my breath. The intensity in his eyes nearly undoes me.
I’m shrugging out of my jacket, and when I pull my top over my head, it lands in the pile of growing clothes on the floor. His large hand sinks into my hair as his lips touch mine again. My fingers are greedy and move to the band of his trousers. I want them off. I’m fumbling with his jeans when he pauses. His forehead leaning against mine.
“I don’t want to stop, but I’m giving you a fair warning. We are surrounded by glass, the lights are on so…” He trails off, and I wish he hadn’t reminded me. I’m nodding trying to gather myself, but I keep my eyes closed as I lick my lips.
He hasn’t moved as he waits for me to give the green light. But as much as I want this, I don’t want an audience.
“Can you pass me my top?” I ask as my way of saying we are stopping this. Connor lets out a breath that brushes my face, and when he opens his eyes, my stomach jumps. Biting my lip, I force myself to stay still and not close the distance between us. The coldness is instant when Connor steps away and hands me my top. I pull it on quickly and take my jacket. Connor pulls on his shirt and I watch him button it up. He glances up at me from under thick black lashes. The tug of his lips has me smiling too.
My body is still singing. My blood burns hot, so I go back to staring at th
e view. I need to bring my temperature and hormone levels down before I change my mind. The room allows you to walk a full circle, and it’s just beautiful. Cars have started to arrive at the park, and it’s no secret what everyone is doing. Now I envied them. They didn’t have to stop.
I end up sitting down, my knees brushing the glass. I know this opportunity won’t come around again, so I try to take it all in. A new memory. Connor joins me, his leg brushing mine, and I wonder did he sit so close on purpose.
“Someone, somewhere at this exact moment is looking at the same sky,” I tell Connor’s reflection.
“Right now I’m the only person in the world that’s looking at you.” My eyes snap to him. His words burn my throat. It’s the way he says it that has my stomach flipping. Like looking at me matters. Like I matter.
His kiss is feather light. He brushes it gently across my lips before leaning back out and focusing on the view in front of us, like he didn’t just say the most amazing thing.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CONNOR
“Wake up.” I open one eye and stare up at Darragh. “This better be important,” I tell him. My mind is still stuck on Ava. With Darragh sitting on my bed and my mind going to Ava, I sit up and rub my face.
“It’s Finn’s birthday today.”
Rubbing my eyes, I reach for my phone. It’s ten in the morning. It feels like the middle of the night with how tired I feel.
“I think we should all go to the lake together. Like the old days.” There’s a pleading in Darragh’s voice not just for Finn. I’m awake now, the longing on his face obvious.
“Okay, but it’s your birthday too,” I say and get a punch to the arm for agreeing and mentioning his birthday. Darragh wasn’t one for celebrating his own birthday. He jumps off the bed before I can say anymore.
“Going to wake the dragon,” he tells me with a grin.
“Who Shane or Liam?” I ask, and his laughter lingers in my room after he leaves.
