by Vi Carter
My head dips to my shoulder. I can smell Ava’s perfume on me. Last night, we spent time talking in the tower before getting food. She had offered for me to come upstairs, but I knew if I did, I wouldn’t leave. I wasn’t sure if I was stupid or what, but with the cut on her face, I wanted it to heal first, or else I felt I was taking advantage.
I’m dressed when Darragh sticks his head in my room door.
“I got a yes out of Shane,” he says, and that clarifies who the dragon is.
“Off to wake sleeping beauty,” he updates me before leaving again.
Finn is in the kitchen when I arrive. “Happy Birthday,” I wish him while getting a cup of tea. “I hear we are all going to the lake.”
“Yeah can’t wait.” Finn sounds anything but excited, but his eyes don’t lie.
“Everyone is coming,” Darragh announces as I sit down. He opts for sitting on the table.
“You’re telling me you convinced Liam?” Finn sounds as sceptical as I feel.
“I have a way of convincing people.”
“Yeah, hammering on and on until we agree.” Shane arrives into the kitchen, and Darragh jumps off the table.
“You out last night?” I stare at Finn through bleary eyes. I feel like I was drinking, but I wasn’t.
“Work not pleasure,” I tell him. My stomach tightens with guilt at my words.
Darragh arrives back to the table with a bowl of cornflakes. He talks while eating, and it’s hard to focus.
“So there are rules about today.”
“Swallow your food first; I don’t need to see what’s in your mouth.” Shane sits across from Darragh with toast and a coffee.
“Brothers,” Liam greets us, and I flicker him a glance over my shoulder.
“Yep he’s in a suit,” I say, and Finn snorts a laugh.
“Are you going to the lake in that?” I ask before taking a sip of my tea.
Liam joins us, and I realise this is the first time in years we have all sat at a table together.
“Does it bother you?” The question is said as he sits down.
“No,” I answer with a shrug.
“It bothers me. I think we should all wear t-shirts and shorts,” Darragh shoots out.
“It’s freezing outside.” Shane’s tone is low.
“And I like my suit,” Liam finishes off.
I grin at Finn, and he smirks back.
“So we are doing this?” Darragh sits back up on the table, Liam pauses eating his toast to stare at Darragh, but he doesn’t notice.
Darragh bobbles his head to music we can’t hear, I wonder for the hundredth time if he is high. But I can’t blame him if he is.
“I’ll ride with Connor.” I’m fine with Finn riding with me.
“We’re going on foot.”
Shane’s head snaps up from his phone at Darragh’s words.
“I only bought these shoes.”
“Change them,” I tell him, and he glares at me.
“It’s Finn’s decision,” Liam speaks up, but he’s also now focused on his phone.
I’m shaking my head at Finn. Walking to the lake sounded painful.
“Come on, Finn, it will be like old times.” Darragh’s like a dog with a bone, and I can see when Finn gives in before he even says yes.
“I’m just making a call before we leave.” I take my mug of tea with me outside. Glancing back into the kitchen the sight is odd to see them all still sitting at the table.
“Russell, how did you get on with Neill’s house?” I ask taking the final sip of my tea.
“Yeah got it sealed, but they did a number on his house. Haven’t seen Neill around. Is he okay?”
“Yeah, they broke his fingers and nose.”
“Fuckers, does he know who did it?”
“He couldn’t get a clear look at them.”
“Pity,” Russell responds. I check over my shoulder to make sure no one is listening.
“You still got that place in Headfort Demesne?” I ask.
“Yeah, you looking to rent?”
“No. It’s for a friend.” I’m not sure what Ava is, but it’s more than a friend.
“Look, Connor, it’s a private establishment. I can’t have any guys in that party and stuff.”
“It’s a girl. She’s a hard worker and will keep the place clean. No partying.” There’s a brief pause.
“Okay it’s 1500 a month, and a month’s deposit.”
I glance in the window to see everyone still sitting around the table. “No deposit and tell her it’s 400 a month. I’ll cover the rest.”
“She more than a friend?”
“Have we got a deal?” I ask.
“Yeah, we’ve got a deal.”
“Thanks, Russell. I’ll be in touch.”
I arrive back into a fight between Darragh and Finn. I’m not sure what it’s about, but Liam barks a warning and silence falls. Shane glances up at me as I place my cup in the sink.
“What’s going on?” I ask, and Darragh jumps off the table.
“I’m always wrong.”
“You’re always high,” Finn fires back.
“Ladies really? Is this necessary?” Shane rises, slipping his phone into his back pocket.
“Can we go and get this done and over with?” His dry tone is how I feel about this, but for Finn, I’ll go.
“Give me a second.” Darragh is out the door, a grin back on his face. His recent anger gone.
We don’t have long to wait before Darragh arrives with a backpack that he slings over his back. No one asks what’s in it. I think we all have a fair idea.
Darragh takes the lead, and we follow him. I grin when he steps into the field. We aren’t taking the main road. He’s taking the shortcut that we all took as kids. We weren’t the young brothers with scrapped knees and ideas about wanting to be gangsters. Now we were all grown, all scared, and I’m not sure if we knew how to be anything else but gangsters.
Liam looks the most ridiculous out of us all. Trekking across a field in a suite.
“Remember that time Liam wore the red t-shirt-” Darragh starts.
“-Yeah and the bull chased him,” Finn finished with laughter in his voice. Shane snorts in front of me, and I can’t stop the grin that spreads across my face.
“He was like Forest Gump,” I say, and Shane smirks across at me.
“He was slipping and sliding-” Darragh’s laughing now, and Liam looks across at him.
“-Thank you for that, Darragh,” Liam says with a smile.
“You are very welcome.” Darragh walks backwards so he can look at us all. The smile seems permanently on his face. Maybe he’s right being so carefree. Maybe the rest of us are way too uptight.
“Oh, I’ve a good one. Remember when Connor tried to ride the sheep.” I nearly trip at Darragh’s words, and he roars with laughter.
“Don’t say it like that. I tried to get up on it’s back.” Finn joins in with Darragh’s laughter. Yeah that didn’t sound any better.
“I was small enough to ride it.” Now Shane snorts.
“Fuck sake, you know what I mean. I was young enough, and it was like a little horse.” My defences starts to dwindle, and I join their laughter. Yeah it didn’t matter what I said, it was coming out wrong.
Darragh reminisced about our childhood, and before we knew it, we were at the lake. The walk seemed so much quicker than it did when we were kids.
The lake doesn’t look as large and overbearing as it once was. As a kid, it was an ocean.
Darragh unzips his bag and takes out two bottles of JD. I take one from him and unscrew the cap. It burns as it makes a path down my throat. I pass it to Liam who takes a deep swallow.
“I miss this place,” I tell the lake. It reminds me of Mom. She would bring us here and let us swim when we were too young to venture off by ourselves.
Liam moves closer to the lake, hands in his pockets as he peers in.
“Me too,” Finn says, and I watch Darragh drop the bag
, and he’s running towards Liam, each step is filled with the excitement of a child. He doesn’t just knock Liam into the lake he goes over the edge with him. Finn, Shane, and myself are peering in, but warily looking at each other. I had no intentions of shoving anyone in.
“I just got a new phone.”
“Me too,” I counter.
“I hate water.” Finn takes a step back. Liam surfaces along with Darragh. Liam doesn’t make a sound when he breaks through the water. He swims back towards us, his strokes precise. He looks like a professional swimmer not someone who was just pegged into a lake while wearing a suit.
Darragh releases a yelp of excitement. “Come in. It’s warm,” he tells the rest of us as Liam reaches the side and drags himself out of the lake. Darragh’s lips rattle together.
“I’ll pass,” I tell him. I go back to the backpack and retrieve the bottle of JD. Sitting on the ground, I take a deep swallow. Liam’s stripping off, placing his suit jacket neatly on a bush.
“You’re a moron,” Shane barks at Darragh, but his words hold amusement. Shane’s phone starts to ring. He takes it out and flickers a glance at Liam.
“It’s Dad,” he says before answering.
“Don’t answer that.” Darragh’s panicked words has the other shoe falling.
“Why would I not answer it?” Shane surprisingly doesn’t answer it straight away, and Darragh pulls himself over the side of the lake.
“Just let me explain first.”
“What have you done?” Liam asks, and the way the three boys approach him with such exasperation says that Darragh gets into more trouble than he used to when I was here. Shane’s phone stops ringing, but Finn’s starts ringing.
“You’ve ten seconds before I answer this.” Finn holds up his phone to Darragh. I take another drink and stay where I am. My phone doesn’t ring. I’ve recently changed my number. Liam’s phone won’t be ringing after going for a swim in the lake, and neither will Darragh’s. I wonder now is that why he threw himself and Liam into the lake.
“I got a tip off that the guards were going to arrest me today.” Darragh drips water around his feet as he glares at his brothers like somehow this is their fault.
“What did you do?” Liam asks again.
“Siobhan’s aunt, they found my DNA on a cigarette.” Shane shakes his head and steps away from Darragh.
“Did I not tell you to pick them up?” Shane’s barking at Finn who’s turned pale.
“Don’t start pointing the finger at me,” he shouts back. Darragh takes a box of fags out of his shirt pocket. Water pours from the box before he throws them on the ground.
“Who tipped you off?” I ask, and all eyes fall on me.
His eyes shift to Shane before returning to me. “Brian. He has a guard paid off. Heard they were coming for me.”
“They can’t do anything with just a cigarette butt. Someone could have carried it into her house on their shoe,” Shane tells this to Liam like somehow if he can explain it away it will make all this stop.
“This wasn’t even about my birthday,” Finn says to Darragh who rest on his hunkers.
“It was a bit of both.” Darragh’s voice is low, but I catch his words.
“Oh, so my birthday and the fact you’re being arrested for murder. Two birds with one stone. Yeah, is that it, Darragh?” Darragh’s up, fists clenched, and I’m rising. Darragh sees my movements and takes a step away from Finn.
I’m standing now as Shane’s phone rings again. He answers, and the one sided conversation is hard to follow. It’s a lot of yes’s and no’s, and we just found out. His final question has me watching Shane. “What should we do?” he asks Michael. Shane nods into the phone.
“Okay. Yeah.” Darragh is holding his breath as Shane turns to him.
“I know he wants you to hand me over to them.”
“It wasn’t just a fag butt. Your fingerprints were found in her bedroom. What were you doing in her room?”
Finn runs his hands through his hair and turns away from Darragh and Shane. “Oh my fucking God.”
“Siobhan’s going to know.”
“Calm down,” Liam tells Finn in a very calming voice, and I find myself taking a step closer to Finn.
“She was asleep, so I woke her up.” Darragh shrugs, but the way he won’t hold anyone’s eyes tells me he was hiding something.
“You didn’t rape her?” I ask the question that everyone is thinking.
“Fuck off.” The disgust in Darragh’s voice gives me the answer. Still, his actions are creepy as fuck.
“What do I do?” he asks Liam.
“You stay calm. You don’t say a word. Don’t speak. My lawyer will deal with it.” Finn glances up at me, the weight of the world on his shoulders. He walks to me and picks up the bottle of JD. He drinks it until he needs air.
“I’m sorry, lad.” I tell the side of his face. This is some fucking mess. But I have all the faith in Liam that he will get Darragh out of this.
Shane gives Liam his phone so he can make his call. Sirens blare in the distance, and Darragh pales, moving towards Liam, like he won’t let them take him.
“I told Dad to tell them where we are. Better here than at the house.”
“You’re going to let them arrest me?”
“You killed someone, you little fucker, so be a man,” I tell him. I shouldn’t have said it out loud. But he was pissing me off, running from one brother to another.
“Fuck you, you’re not even part of this family.” I laugh at his words even though they sting.
“Get used to the smell of bars.” My words have him charging me. Two Gardai cars appear as I take Darragh to the ground.
I’m holding him down when they jump from the cars. I recognize Harry, but don’t want him to recognize me. So I let Darragh go and try to keep my face hidden.
“Darragh O’ Reagan. You’re under arrest for the murder of Ruth Walsh. You have the right to remain silent. If you do say anything, what you say can be used against you in a court of law.” Harry is the arresting officer and pulls Darragh off the ground while placing cuffs on him. “You have the right to consult with a lawyer and have that lawyer present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be appointed for you if you so desire.”
No one speaks as Darragh is placed in the back of the Gardai car. We watch as the two cars pull out onto the road and once they leave, I turn to Finn.
“Happy Birthday.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
AVA
How the hell did I gather so much crap. I’m packing a bookshelf. It’s small and filled with books and some figurines and picture frames. I feel like I’m packing forever. When I finally wrap the last item, which happens to be a small statue of the Virgin Mary, my bell rings. The statue I had stashed behind a picture. My nan had given it to me for protection, but I wasn’t overly fond of displaying it. “Hello.” I take the receiver away from my face, something sticky is on the side and is now on my cheek.
“Ava, it’s Harry.” I want to hang up the phone.
“What do you want?” I ask.
“Just a minute.” I glance around my apartment. I don’t want him here in my personal space, but it won’t be mine for much longer. I buzz him in and unlock the front door. My heart hammers as his footsteps echo in the hallway. He appears and gives me a nod as he climbs the last few steps.
I fold my arms across my chest and stay standing in the doorway. “What?” I snap.
Harry glances behind him and even moves a few feet back so he can look up at the stairs to the next floor.
“Just a minute, please.”
Against my better judgement, I let him in. I don’t like that he is in uniform. He closes the door as we enter the sitting room. He doesn’t sit but removes his hat, and now I’m sitting because my mind is going to Nan. Something is wrong. When they remove their hats, it’s delivering bad news. I’ve seen it in every movie. My hand flutters to my throat.
“I just want to tal
k,” Harry says, and my heart flutters before it starts to settle. Nan is fine, I tell myself.
“I can’t help you because Brian would have my family targeted.”
“Then what are you doing here?”
“I want to help, Ava.” Harry’s cheeks are tinted with a bright pink.
“Then let me file the complaint against him. He hasn’t just hit me once,” I’m shouting and remind myself that I have neighbors. Taking a deep calming breath, I run my hands down the leg of my tracksuit bottoms.
“I can’t. But you could do something else,” He pauses, his eyes now taking in my living space, and it feels so evasive.
“Which is?” I bark pulling him back to me.
“You could help us. Brian deals drugs, but we can’t pin him down. If you could find something on him, he would be locked up for a long time.” I’m laughing at the non-funny joke.
“You want me to wear a wire?” I ask.
Harry grins, and I want to ask him what’s so fucking amusing. “No, just get close to him and maybe just let us know if anything arises.”
“Right now, you want me to get close to someone who’s hit me.” I’m standing. I want him out of my apartment.
“Ava, I know he hurt you. But Brian hurts a lot of people who can’t do anything about it. He likes you. You can do something.” I can’t hold Harry’s eye. He’s right. Maybe I could get close to Brian, but it feels like a really stupid thing to do.
“I’ll think about it,” I tell Harry and am surprised when he nods.
“Thank you.” He places his hat back on his head and leaves.
After Harry leaves, I continue packing, but my mind is a jumbled mess. The missing man niggles at me now. What if something bad happened to him? What if telling the guards that I saw Brian with him could be enough to put him behind bars? The other guy, I didn’t get a good look at.
Small pieces of glass spray across the floor as the bite to my finger has me putting my finger in my mouth. Crap. A small Galway Crystal holder that my nan got me is in a million pieces on the floor. The tang of metal in my mouth has me removing my finger and assessing it. It’s not deep, but it’s like a paper cut. The pain is intense.
