On Solid Ground: Sequel to in Too Deep

by Michelle Kemper Brownlow

  “Hey.” The single word came out of me, barely audible and with a short burst of hot, nervous breath.

  “Gracie.” His skin was flawless, and his voice was incredibly sexy. A wave of memories I had tucked away rushed back with a force I couldn’t halt. He did remember me.

  ****

  Spring semester of our sophomore year, just after Becki, Stacy, and I transferred, Noah and I had a fight about him pledging, and we had broken up. It only lasted one weekend, but it was just enough time for me to meet Calon.

  The girls and I had been invited out to Phi Tau. Stacy and I went to high school with Robert, one of the brothers. I was thrilled to be able to distract myself at a party that had nothing to do with Noah or Sigma Chi. Becki and Stacy were just excited to meet new fraternity boys. That night, we met a ton of brothers at their pre-party social with one of the sororities. The girls of Sigma Kappa weren’t the stereotypical sorority girls. They welcomed us like old friends, and we had a blast.

  We hung out in Robert’s room once the social was over and while the long line formed at the door.

  “So, why aren’t you at Sigma Chi tonight?” Robert handed me my fifth cold beer of the evening.

  “Noah and I broke up. I really don’t wanna think about him right now.” I all but emptied my cup in a couple long gulps.

  “Gracie, I’m not so sure a Sigma Chi guy is a good match for you.” A look of caution crossed his face as he spoke.

  “Why? Because I’m a dork and they aim higher for girls there?” I finished my beer and shot my cup out for him to refill.

  “You know that’s not what I meant. They aren’t known as the most—how do I put this—respectful group of men.”

  “We just hit a bump, Rob. It’ll be fine. Noah’s just having a little trouble adjusting, I guess.”

  “Well, don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He winked.

  Just then, a harsh reverb scream came from downstairs, and my head spun to Robert, “There’s a band tonight?”

  He nodded, saw my expression, then shook his head. It had never been a secret to anyone who knew me how addicted I was to live music. Without a second thought, I ran downstairs, shoved my way through the crowd, and squeezed as close as I could get to the stage. I stood three screaming girls away from the most beautiful rock star I had ever laid eyes on. I was buzzed out of my mind, and my body hummed as I watched him practically make out with his microphone. I had no idea where Becki and Stacy were, but I knew Rob’s house was a safe place to let go and just be. I had no qualms about being alone in a huge crowd at Phi Tau. At Sigma Chi, I couldn’t let my guard down like that.

  I leaned over to the girl next to me and yelled my slurred words. “What’s his name?”

  “That beautiful creature is Calon Ridge. Could you just die?” Her eyes rolled back in her head, and I assumed by the waves her body was making, she was imagining she was Calon’s mic stand.

  Throughout the night, I stood in the same spot. His vintage Nirvana t-shirt stuck to his sweaty body in random spots as he performed, and his shoulder-length dark curls bounced and swept across his face. Scuffed black work boots stuck out from under the frayed, holey jeans that hung low on his hips. I held Calon’s gaze long enough that the two girls in front of me turned and shot jealous daggers my way. Well, I caught their daggers and shot sexy looks right past them to Calon. And when he pulled his long hair back and held it with one hand on top of his head, he winked at me and smiled in a way that caused a collective gasp from the female portion of the crowd. Oh. My. Rock star.

  Becki, Stacy, and Robert finally spotted me from the balcony, and, during a break when the crowd went to refill their cups, they came down to experience the fan club I had just joined. By the time the girls got to me, they were gushing over how hot Calon was and how his voice did things to parts of their bodies I preferred not to know about. Robert shook his head.

  By the end of their final set, I was the main recipient of Calon’s attention. I couldn’t fault the pissy girls who stomped away when they saw the connection he and I shared. It really was like he was giving me my very own personal concert, and I was happy to be his focus.

  “Thanks for coming out. We are Alternate Tragedy, and we’ve been booking gigs all around town. Come out and party with us again. We just have one more for you because...I want you to want me...” Calon laid his hand on his sweat-soaked chest, and his deep green eyes met mine. And with that one Cheap Trick song, he melted me. He stepped off the far side of the stage with the mic in his hand and continued to sing. Girls reached out to touch him, and he lightly grabbed their hands. They screamed and squealed to all their friends as he moved through the crowd toward me.

  I stayed in my spot and kept my eyes locked on him. When he got to the last “I want you to want me,” the guitars went silent, and just the slow pounding of the drums accompanied his voice. The song ended, and Calon Ridge met me toe-to-toe. He looked at me, raised his eyebrow, and took my right hand in his. He placed my hand on his heated chest, and the room faded away.

  “You have amazing eyes.” His voice was raspy from two hours of singing. The room was almost silent. It had emptied quickly after the songs ended, when thirsty fans, some feeling jilted and jealous, ran to the nearest kegs.

  My face burned, and I couldn’t pull even a single word from my mind.

  “What’s your name?”

  “Gracie.” A staggered breath left my mouth as I tried to control myself and not be the annoying fan girl.

  “Beautiful name for a beautiful girl.” He lifted my hand in his and placed a gentle kiss on my knuckles.

  “Dude. No making out with my friends.” Robert slugged Calon in the shoulder, which made him drop my hand.

  “You two know each other?” My nervous voice was so loud, they both flinched a little. I needed to clear the air of the thick sexual tension Calon and I had created.

  “Yeah. We have these guys here a couple times a month. They’re good guys. Gracie, Stacy puked, so Becki took her home. I told them I’d bring you when I got stuff cleaned up here.”

  “I got her, Rob. Can I take you home, Gracie?”

  I looked up at Robert before answering. I knew he would never let me leave the house with someone he didn’t trust. He nodded and winked.

  “Sure.”

  “Okay, give me a second to let the guys know they’re packing up without me, but then we gotta run because they’ll be pissed.”

  I giggled as he left and shot a look up at Rob. “What the hell? What is this? He is so friggin’ hot and he’s walking me home?”

  “Guess the feeling’s mutual. He’s a great guy, Gracie. I wouldn’t let you leave with him if I didn’t know him as well as I do. He’s not the typical rock star manwhore.”

  Calon and I ducked out before the band could object. He hung his arm across my shoulders and we talked as we slowly walked home. Phi Tau was considerably farther from my apartment than Sigma Chi, so it was a long walk. At one point, he had me laughing so hard, I got dizzy and had to stop walking. Calon turned me toward him and held me upright. I looked up and he his fingertips grazed my cheek and slid underneath my jaw. He held my gaze and closed the space between us. Right there, under the street light, he took my face in his hands and spoke five words that could not have been more perfect.

  “I need to kiss you.”

  I tangled my fingers in the long dark curls at the back of his neck and stood on my toes as his lips met mine. There was an indescribable connection. It was our only kiss, but it was worth a million as far as the soul-melting meter goes. He tapped my number into his phone, and we took a goofy picture together. He said he’d call.

  But he never did.

  ***

  “You remember my name?” I was hoping he couldn’t read my face and know everything that just ran through my mind about the night we met.

  He chuckled a little, nodded, and tucked more fallen curls behind his ear.

  “Dude, I fixed it. Dude, was that you singing?” Van came
through the beaded curtain from the back room, holding out a guitar in Calon’s direction. I assumed we were both tagged as dude, so I just nodded, and in the moment it took Calon to walk to the counter, I hung up the guitar that had caused the attention. I gathered my stuff from the floor and headed toward the door, mortified.

  “Gracie, wait.” Calon zipped his guitar bag and threw the strap over his shoulder as he jogged toward me. He pushed the door open for me and called out a “thanks, man” to Van.

  It was time to meet Jake at Café Best, so I headed in that direction. Calon fell into step with me, and we walked together silently for a full minute. I couldn’t stand the quiet.

  “Your show in March at Mitchell’s was amazing. I love the new song, ‘Fallen.’”

  “Thanks, Gracie.” That was the third time he’d said my name in five minutes, and it was on the verge of erotic every damn time.

  “I have to be honest; I’m shocked that you remembered my name.” I ran my fingers through my hair and twisted the hairband from my wrist around a sloppy bun to hold it away from my face. His effortless intensity made me so nervous, I was sweating.

  “I’ve seen you at tons of our shows. I couldn’t remember your name; it hit me just now when I heard your voice.”

  So, our kiss was obviously not as memorable for him as it was for me, which was completely embarrassing. I wanted to lighten the mood for both of us, so I just giggled and said, “Yeah, you couldn’t remember my phone number either.” I nudged him with my elbow.

  I looked up at the side of his face as I waited for his response, and that’s when I saw them. Long scars from in front of his ear zigzagged up the left side of his forehead and disappeared into his hairline. When I looked up, two Sigma Chi pledges from last semester stared and elbowed each other as they walked directly toward me. I looked away and moved out of their way in a huff and swallowed a big breath. I re-focused on my conversation with Calon.

  “Gracie...look...I...” He reached out and gently took hold of my arm, which stopped us both dead in our tracks. He squeezed it and seemed to struggle to find words.

  It was an intimate few seconds that we stood there staring at one another. I wasn’t sure if I should be flattered that he was speechless or uncomfortable because he thought he owed me an apology.

  “Calon. Totally joking. No apology necessary.” The uncomfortable silence had me grasping at straws for what to say to fill the space. “It’s not like I thought I was the only fan you’d ever kissed.” It was out of my mouth before I could stop it. Of course, I wanted to know if he at least remembered the kiss, but under normal, comfortable circumstances I would never have mentioned it.

  “Gracie, you have no idea. I—” his eyes shot from mine to someone standing next to me, and his hand dropped from my arm.

  “Gracie.” Jake’s eyes bounced from mine to the hand Calon just dropped. Without realizing it, Calon and I stopped directly in front of Café Best for our awkward, silent moment. I had no idea how long Jake had been standing there.

  “Jake. ThisisCalon. CalonthisisJakemyboyfriend.” Yes, I just won the idiot of the year award. I wasn’t sure either of them understood anything I said.

  They shook hands and exchanged awkwardly forced smiles. Calon hiked his guitar strap higher and turned to walk away.

  Ten

  Jake

  “See ya, Gracie, Jake.” Calon spoke the words without looking at Gracie or me. I watched him sidle down the sidewalk with a cocky stride.

  What the fuck was that?

  “Hey.” That’s all she said. We stepped up onto the patio, walked to a table, and sat down as though it was choreographed.

  “So, you were hangin’ with Calon this morning? I thought you had counseling.” My words came out harsher than I expected, but my blood was boiling. I’d never been the jealous type. I’d always been secure in my relationships and never felt threatened by another guy. But, Calon fucking Ridge? I couldn’t compete with that. Gracie had this thing for lead singers. Sam always used to tease her that as long as a guy held a mic and stood at the front of the stage, he could look like Hannibal Lecter and she’d still swoon. Calon Ridge was more likely to have stepped off the cover of Rolling Stone than be cast as a creepy serial killer. I was completely straight, and I could absolutely see why girls melted at the sight of him.

  “Jake, I did go to counseling.” She looked a little surprised that I’d insinuated she lied, then she continued, “After counseling, I went down to The Garage and played one of the guitars again. That’s where I ran into Calon.”

  “Well, the two of you looked pretty intense for having just met.” I spun my fork on the table and tried not to sound like a jealous teenager. I never had a problem with Gracie’s fascination with rock stars before. But the way he touched her, it was still making me crazy, and he walked away five minutes ago. He held her arm as though he needed her to stand still.

  “You two want your usual? Chef salads with dressing on the side?” We nodded. The waitress fumbled with her order pad as though she picked up on the discomfort at our table and refrained from chit chat.

  “Jake.” She said my name as though it was an entire sentence. She twisted her hands in her lap nervously.

  “Gracie.” I answered then arched my eyebrow in a way that let her know the longer she stammered, the guiltier she looked. My knees bounced under the table while I waited for her to finish.

  She took a deep breath as though it took all her strength to get her thoughts and words to sync.

  “Jake, the very first time Noah and I broke up, the girls and I went out to Phi Tau to hang with Robert. Alternate Tragedy was playing that night. Robert and Calon are friends.”

  She was speaking faster than usual. She reached for the water the waitress had just dropped off. She took a sip and regrouped. I felt sick. Gracie had never sprung anything on me I wasn’t expecting, but I had a sneaking suspicion she was about to do just that. She finished her sip with a deep breath and continued.

  “That night Stacy got sick while I was watching the band, Becki asked Robert if he could walk me home because she needed to get Stacy to a clean bathroom to do her puking.”

  The waitress came back with our food, fumbled some more, and quickly darted away. I could feel the vein pulsing in my neck. I nodded for her to continue even though I knew I didn’t want to hear the rest.

  “Jake, listen. Calon offered to walk me home and we kissed. That’s it. End of story.”

  She gulped down half of her water and I just stared at her. Instantly, I could see it, his lips on hers. I knew what her soft pouty lips felt like. They would make anyone melt. Gracie wore her heart on her sleeve, and in the throes of passion, she held nothing back. Gracie’s kisses were heaven. I know how she must have kissed him, and it ripped me apart. My heart experienced a sense of déjà vu when it skipped the same beat it did each time she went back to Noah last semester. I wanted to punch something. Gracie didn’t need a distraction like Calon clouding her judgment, and, selfishly, I didn’t need a rock god overstepping boundaries with my vulnerable girl.

  “So, it’s been a secret all this time?” I pressed my fingers against my forehead and massaged away the tension that threatened to split my head wide open.

  “No. Not at all. It wasn’t until just now, when you referred to us as having just met, that I realized I had never told you. I told Becki and Stacy the next day, and they agreed it should never get back to Noah, even though we were broken up. It was so long ago, I guess I just sort of lumped you with the girls and assumed I’d told you because I’d told them. I wasn’t trying to keep anything from you. We weren’t as close back then as we are now.” She seemed less nervous, which should have helped me calm down, but that didn’t happen.

  “God, Gracie.” It’s all I could muster. My hands were fisted on the table.

  The waitress refilled Gracie’s water but didn’t stick around. I was thrilled the Café was apparently understaffed so we could get through the conversation without her ask
ing if we were okay every five minutes. My brain was spinning; I certainly couldn’t think about the food in front of me until the discontent worked its way through me. In those couple minutes of silence, I realized I wasn’t upset they’d kissed. Hell, Jessica and I were dating then, so it’s not like Gracie had cheated on me. But I was upset by the fact that what had obviously been an intense connection two years ago was still a force big enough to be visible from where I stood.

  “He kissed me on the walk home, Jake. That’s it. He didn’t come in. He left when I walked into the building, and I just assumed he’d been drinking, too, and didn’t remember. So, it was just weird that he remembered me today. Then he seemed cryptic, like he wanted to explain why he hasn’t approached me since. I was curious, but also ridiculously uncomfortable. That’s the intensity you saw when you walked up.”

  “Gracie. I don’t want secrets. I won’t do secrets.” I let my mind wander to how it all must have played out earlier at The Garage. Sensitive, broken rock star sees a beautiful girl he once hooked up with but didn’t get as far as he’d wanted. He strikes up a conversation, and when he senses she is broken, too, he swoops in with the cryptic, open-ended excuse for why he’s kept his distance all this time. It’s probably his normal MO. I hoped there was nothing about the night they met she wasn’t telling me. I raised my eyebrow.

  “No secrets, Jake. None.”

  “You two okay here?” Gracie nodded, looked up at me, and the waitress smiled and walked away. I wasn’t okay. It was the first time I ever wondered if Gracie could be pulled away from me again.

  She reached across the table for my hand. Another first...I pulled away from her.

  The look on her face cut me deeply.

  “Shit, Gracie, it’s Calon Ridge. I can’t compete with that.”