On Solid Ground: Sequel to in Too Deep

by Michelle Kemper Brownlow

  “Dude. Seriously?”

  “Look, I saved your life. You can’t yell at me.”

  “Saved my life? The doctor said I didn’t even lose consciousness. I remember walking to Student Health with you. I banged up my knee and bumped my head. Life-saving wasn’t part of your day, Mav.”

  “Well, I’m glad you’re good ‘cuz that hottie over there is waiting for me to take her to lunch.” Maverick slapped me harder on the back and jogged backwards, laughing for a couple steps before turning back around and grabbing the ass of the girl waiting for him.

  My knee was throbbing by the time I got to our building. I leaned against the wall as I waited for the elevator. I was picking at the bandage taped across my eyebrow when the doors opened and Becki and Gracie walked out.

  “Jake!” Gracie ran over to me and held me by my waist as she looked me up and down. There was a huge patch of gauze covering the gash on my knee that swelled and turned blue with each step I took.

  “Gracie, it’s okay. Just got a little banged up. Fell while I was running.” I could feel her warm hands through my shirt, and when she lifted them to touch my face, she brushed my chest, and I swore my heart skipped a beat. She held my face and tried to peek under the wad of gauze.

  “Are you sure you’re okay? Your knee looks awful. I should—” She looked at Becki who raised her eyebrow as if to remind her she didn’t need to take care of me. Gracie’s eyes lifted to mine with a sadness so heavy, I thought she would burst into tears.

  “No. Gracie, I’m fine. I swear. You and Becki go do...whatever it is you two do when you’re together. Nails. Shopping. Go. I’m good.” I didn’t want her to go. I wanted those warm hands all over my body. I wanted her lips on mine. I wanted to know, after she was done hanging out with Becki, she’d be in my bed. But that wasn’t how the day was going to go. I was going upstairs to my apartment, and later, she’d go home to hers.

  “Will you call me if you need anything?” She wrapped her arms around my waist and squeezed me gently. The feeling of her head on my chest made me smile.

  “I promise, baby girl.”

  She smiled and turned to leave. The elevator had been up and down a couple times while she’d examined me and made sure I was okay. This time, when it opened, it was empty. I stepped on it alone.

  I scrolled through my contact list on my phone and found Maverick’s number.

  “Dude, you busy later? I’m going to need a drink. Or ten.”

  Fifteen

  Gracie

  I didn’t turn back around to see if Jake was still in the lobby or if he’d gotten on the elevator. My heart stung, and I was nauseous.

  “Becki.” Her name came out like a sigh.

  “Gracie, deep breaths.” She reached over and rubbed my back a little. It didn’t help, but I appreciated her effort.

  “Do you think he will fall in love with someone else?” Tears hung at the corners of my eyes.

  “Why are you doing this to yourself? You told him you were taking a break until you got stronger. It’s Jake we’re talking about. He’s not going to run off and get laid.”

  “Becki!”

  The visual of Jake with another girl created a full-body spasm, and a pain shot into my chest. I had to shake my head to rid myself of the image. Becki shrugged.

  “I didn’t actually tell him it was a break. I said he deserved someone who had her shit together, but I would always love him and be his friend.”

  “Oh.”

  “Oh, what?”

  “Well, you kinda set yourself up for that one. You gave him the carte blanche of get-out-of-jail cards. Why didn’t you just tell him you needed time?”

  “Becki, Jake has waited around for me for forever. He had to wait a whole fucking semester for me to say, “I love you.” I don’t want him to feel like his life will be in limbo while I get mine together.”

  “You just need a break from the pressure of a relationship while you get your head on straight...that’s all you need to tell him. You don’t need to tell him to wait. He will.”

  “I hope so.” I knew in my heart Jake was not the rebound kind of guy, but Becki was right, maybe I needed to clarify my reasoning for walking away from him.

  “So, where to... homeless college student?” Becki tucked a stray section of straight hair behind her ear. She always looked so perfectly put together. Her hair was pulled back in a messy bun, too, but hers looked like a stylist had perfectly placed each and every hair. She wore a tight, pink t-shirt, short-shorts, flip flops, silver hoop earrings, and aviators. Man, she was gorgeous. It wouldn’t be long before she’d have another guy attached to her side. Shawn was an idiot.

  “Homeless? I’m not running away. I just needed to get out of my apartment.”

  “No, I didn’t mean you were homeless, I meant you looked homeless.”

  I glanced down at my tan UGGS, frayed jean skirt, Jake’s black Green Day shirt and let out a quiet chuckle. We walked silently to her car. I had no idea where I would tell her to go.

  “I need gum.”

  “Honey, you need more than gum.” Becki shook her head and threw a pack of gum from her console at me.

  “Thanks.”

  “Where are we running to? Wait let me guess.” She looked me up and down again and smiled. “ There’s a crazy 90’s grunge concert in the area.”

  “You’re funny.” I rolled my eyes. “Just drive. And talk about something other than my fucked-up life.”

  “So, this guy last night...Oh, Gracie...”

  “Do tell, Becks. I can’t wait to live vicariously through you.” Perfect. I would escape my breaking heart for one of her hot sex stories any day.

  She was still giving me the dirty details when we pulled into Litton’s. Becki was brilliant. A diner. Coffee and comfort food. I convinced myself that coffee was all I needed to clear my head.

  After we ordered and Becki finished explaining something X-rated that, even with my creative brain, I couldn’t have invented on my own, she headed to the restroom. I was trying to figure out how one could contort their body in order to do what I thought she was telling me she had done when I felt my phone buzz against my leg.

  Sam.

  I answered just as the waitress brought Becki’s food and a carafe of coffee for me. I smiled to thank her, phone glued to my ear.

  “Gracie,” he started talking before I even said hello. “Honey, tell me you’re okay.”

  “Sam, I’m okay. I’m with Becki, and I really don’t want to talk about anything right now. I’m just trying to clear my head. How did you know—”

  I was pretty sure I knew the answer to my question though he answered before I finished it.

  “I just got off the phone with Jake.”

  “Are you angry with me, Sam?”

  “Angry? No. I’m worried about you. And him. You guys are...” His voice trailed off as Becki took her seat and started in on her home fries.

  “I know. With all my heart, I didn’t want to walk away from Jake, but I just need some time, that’s all.” I spoke, and Becki mouthed his name and cocked her head, questioning if that was who was on the phone. I nodded.

  “I get that. I guess I just needed to hear it from you.”

  “I don’t want to hurt him, Sam. He feels like I can only love him with part of my heart because he feels like Noah still holds the rest.”

  Becki’s eyes bulged, and Sam went silent. This was a great way to talk it out, to both confidantes at the same time. Stacy would probably be pissed I wasn’t sharing this with her, but I was so pained by the decision to walk away from Jake, I couldn’t bear saying it any more than I already had. Plus, I couldn’t afford a call to Florence, which is where she was when she’d posted pictures online the night before.

  It literally brought pain to my chest, thinking of Jake pacing in his apartment, running his hands through his hair, and mumbling to himself, trying to understand and digest what was happening. But, how could I be selfish and stay with him if being with
him only reminded him of the part of my heart he thought he would never hold?

  I ended up putting Sam on speaker and the three of us talked it out for over an hour. My heart had stopped racing, and I wasn’t shaking as much, but my thoughts were still frantic and open-ended. When Becki went up to the register to pay the check, I took Sam off speaker and finished our conversation.

  “Gracie, he wants what’s best for you, and if putting an end to the relationship is best, he will be okay. It will hurt him, and he will have to heal, but he’s more about your happiness than his own. You know that.”

  “I know, Sam. I just want him to be happy, but maybe that won’t happen with me.”

  “Gracie, how about you start focusing on you and what makes you happy...and whole. If you stop worrying about how your decisions will affect other people, you may find the answers to your questions and comfort in place of your doubt.”

  “What the hell? Are you reading that out of a book?” I giggled. I knew Sam was deep and emotional—I’d seen that side of him before—but it wasn’t usually something that happened between the two of us. He usually just let Jake do the talking and pulled a “yeah, what he said” kind of follow-up.

  “Hey! Jake isn’t the last romantic stud on the planet. There are a few more of us around. Thanks for doubting my soft side.”

  “Aww, Sam, I don’t doubt your romantic side. Thanks for your advice. It makes a lot of sense, and it’s exactly what I needed to hear.”

  “I’m always here for you, too. Jake isn’t the only collegiate Superman, you know.”

  “I know. Thanks, Sam.”

  “I love you, Gracie.”

  “I love you, too. Talk soon?”

  “Hope so.”

  Becki was sitting across the table having just walked into a whole lot of mush at the end of my conversation with Sam. “What the hell is with you?” She stood and motioned toward the door. “You have two of the most amazing men on the planet wound around your finger. Why...how? Nevermind. You piss me off.” She chuckled and bumped into me with her hip as we walked out the door.

  Sixteen

  Jake

  It was well past dinner time and there was no food in my apartment. I’d iced my knee a couple times, fell in and out of sleep, and re-organized everything in the entertainment center. My headache was gone, and the ibuprofen was working at dulling the pain in my knee, so I headed out to grab a beer with Maverick at Mitchell’s.

  “Jake, right?” Buzz wiped off the section of the bar in front of me.

  “Yep.” I really wasn’t in the mood for small talk, but he was about to be my boss, so I thought I should at least be pleasant.

  “What can I get you?” His round gut hung over his belt, and his mustache was thick and untrimmed, but he was a super nice guy. Everyone in town knew him by name.

  “I’d like a beer. Rolling Rock.” I thought a couple beers on an empty stomach might take the edge off the mood I was in. Buzz pulled two green bottles from the cooler and set them in front of me as if he’d read my mind.

  “You look like you need at least two beers, Jake. I’ll run to the office later and get your paperwork. You’re still coming in on Wednesday night, right?”

  “Absolutely. I need the money.” I poured half of the first beer down my throat and tapped the bar with my thumbs. The place was dead. Quiet. I wondered what Becki and Gracie were up to. I reached for my phone out of habit then decided not to text her. I was going to love her by giving her the space she needed.

  I could hear music coming from the basement, but it wasn’t the typical Saturday night sound. I looked at my phone and realized it was still early enough to be the band warming up for their gig in a couple hours. I took a couple more swigs of my beer and tried to place the song someone was playing. It sounded almost like an acoustic version of “Hunger Strike” by Temple of the Dog. I got up and walked over to the top of the stairs that led to the basement bar.

  “She’s good.” Buzz nodded toward the stairs as he dried some glasses and put them on a shelf under the bar.

  “Who is it?”

  “I don’t know. A couple girls came in, had a few beers then disappeared, but they paid their bill, so I didn’t think anything of it. Then the band came in to set up and one of the guys mentioned the girl playing the guitar I keep behind the downstairs bar. I took a peek, and, dammit, it was those same two girls down there.”

  “You kick ‘em out?”

  “Nah. Told her if she played me a song, I wouldn’t call the cops. Of course, I was just kidding about the cops. She’s no rock star, ya know, all shy and all. But her voice could take your breath away.”

  I nodded, threw back the last of my first beer and walked back over to the stool I’d claimed.

  “One of those nights, huh?”

  “Yeah. You could say that.” I took a swig of the fresh bottle and Buzz set a third one up on the bar.

  “Hey, two of my favorite trainees keeping me company at the bar tonight. You two tryin’ to butter me up?”

  I spun on my stool as Maverick took a seat next to me. I chuckled and shook my head. “You’re working here, too?”

  “Damn straight. You know how easy it is to get chicks when you’re pouring them drinks?” He grabbed the beer Buzz just set down and clinked it against mine. “Buzz, you better start a tab.” He slapped his credit card down on the bar. Buzz smiled and took it.

  I had never been upstairs at Mitchell’s on a Saturday night. It was virtually empty when there was a band downstairs. Maverick and I shot the shit for a while, each beer going down smoother than the last.

  “You moving back to Wyoming after graduation?”

  “Mav, I have no idea what I’m doing. You?”

  “ROTC, man. I hope to be on the Navy base in Virginia Beach. Sun, sand, bikinis.”

  “Good deal. I’d love to start my own business, but not sure what.” I wiped the water ring off the bar with a cocktail napkin.

  “I used to picture you, me, and Sam opening a bar and staying here.”

  “You know, that’s not a bad idea. And if we don’t fail out of the bartending class, it remains a possibility.”

  “Well, if the two of you don’t get that paperwork filled out there’s no chance you’re working here after graduation.” Buzz was gruff and impatient sometimes. It made me wonder how long he’d been working at Mitchell’s.

  When Maverick and I finished filling out our trainee paperwork, the beats from the basement were resonating up through our stools.

  “You wanna head down to see the band?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to be in all the chaos, but I needed to do something other than sit at the bar and drink.

  “Sure. Pound it.” Maverick motioned toward the two fresh bottles in front of us. I was a little more than buzzed already, but I pounded it anyway. We closed out our tab and headed down toward the music.

  The basement was dingy and had a low ceiling. The room wasn’t very big at all, and I wasn’t sure what its legal capacity was, but I was certain they pushed that limit every time a band played.

  “Shit.” Standing at the mic and reaching out for the girls in front of him was Calon.

  “What?” Maverick and I navigated through the crowd. I just shook my head.

  We sidled up to the bar, and less than a minute later, I had another beer in my hand. I scoped the room to see if there was anyone else we knew crammed into the bar. I saw a couple girls from my classes, one of them winked and waved. I winked back and tipped my beer bottle like a long distant cheers. There was a feeling buzzing in me I couldn’t quite decipher. It was a cross between nervousness and anticipation. It was then I realized how long it had been since I was drunk without Gracie. The pretty girl who waved had given me a hint of what it would feel like to be single. I didn’t consider myself single, but there was an unsettled curiosity in the pit of my stomach that made me a bit uncomfortable.

  Before long, Maverick had grabbed the attention of more than a couple girls. This was nothing new. He had
an air about him that was like a magnet. It was fascinating. I smiled and shook my head as I watched him entertain them. I had no idea what he was telling them, but they flipped their hair and giggled at the end of each sentence. Maverick was tall and his blond hair was shaved high and tight, which was recognizable to most people on campus because all the ROTC guys had the same cut. Girls melted for that.

  “You wanna dance, Jake?” I felt her hand on my arm before I heard her voice. The stunning blonde that winked earlier was standing so close to me, I could smell her gum. I felt bad because she knew my name and I had no idea what hers was. Just then, someone hurried past her, pushing her into me. The cup in her hand crushed, and the last sip of her beer spilled out onto my chest. She made an exaggerated frown and mouthed her apology. She may have actually said it out loud, but Calon was belting something about a short skirt and a long jacket so I couldn’t hear much of anything. We held a stare for more than a couple seconds. Her deep brown eyes and pouty lips had me distracted. She was tiny, and the way she looked up at me and bit her bottom lip was freakin’ hot.

  “Come on!” She grabbed my hand and pulled me through the crowd. I slammed the last of my beer and set it on a table as we breezed past it. I looked back at Maverick, who gave me the thumbs up. I just shook my head and shrugged.

  Alternate Tragedy had changed up their set list since I’d seen them last. They typically played classic stuff, rock and alternative, but Calon’s voice took on an Adam Levine tone, and he flirted with the rows of horny co-eds begging them for one more night. Every time he sang the word “hard”, they’d all groan. I took a deep breath and made the decision to just relax and have fun.

  “I’m so sorry, I forgot your name.” I leaned in and cupped my hand at her ear so I didn’t have to yell. She took that as an invitation for touching. Oh God. She tucked one finger in my belt loop and her other hand flew up over her head as she sang the words and swiveled her hips from side to side dangerously close to me.