Change of Hart

by M. E. Carter

  Let’s face it, breath is pretty nasty. We put up with it to get to the good stuff. But unless you brush your teeth before you kiss, you aren’t going to smell minty fresh.

  Addison, she wasn’t minty fresh but even the smell of her breath turned me on.

  Her hands grabbed my waist and I just kept kissing her. Enjoying this moment.

  And her hands.

  And her lips.

  And her tongue.

  The back door flew open and Addison jumped away from me, throwing her hands up to her lips.

  “I have to go potty!” Emma yelled as she ran by, completely oblivious to the scene in front of her.

  I turned back to Addison, only to see her bandaged hand clutched to her stomach, her other hand over her lips, and her wide eyes filling with tears.

  “Addison,” I said, moving toward her. She took a step back, away from me. “That was . . .”

  “I’m so sorry, Jason, that should never have happened,” she said hurriedly and rushed from the room, down the hall until I heard a door shut.

  “Which way did Emma go?” Lindsay asked, walking through the kitchen.

  “Bathroom,” I said, still staring after Addison.

  Once again, I was left standing here thinking, “What the hell just happened?”

  With nothing else to do but cut fruit and sort out my thoughts, I sliced everything and cleaned up before heading back outside. Addison was still hiding in the back, probably in the bedroom she had shared with her husband, so I delivered the fruit.

  It was times like these when my media face came in handy. It wasn’t hard to smile and fake my happiness the rest of the afternoon. I even posed for an actual picture with Samantha, but only because she was Jaxon’s aunt. If she had been anyone else, I would have politely told her to buzz off and reminded her that this was a birthday party for a child. Maybe part of me was hoping Addison would see it on Facebook later and feel some jealousy.

  About ten minutes later, Addison finally reappeared, this time with the cake.

  She completely ignored me for the rest of the party. She didn’t look at me when we sang “Happy Birthday”. She didn’t look at me when she passed out slices of cake. She didn’t even look at me when Jax opened his present. Jaxon, of course, jumped up and down and squealed with excitement, which made me smile a real smile. But Addison didn’t so much as glance in my direction.

  “What the hell is going on?” Lindsay asked quietly. I hadn’t noticed her standing next to me. As always, she apparently hadn’t missed anything.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “You’re full of it, Jason. Something happened between you and Addison and it’s making things really uncomfortable.”

  I looked around the backyard at all the partygoers laughing and having a good time. “It doesn’t look like anyone is uncomfortable.”

  “Yeah. No one except you and her,” she said, pointing at Addison.

  I tightened my lips but didn’t say a word.

  “That’s what I thought,” she said. “What happened?”

  “It doesn’t matter,” I said, turning around to sit back down in the lawn chair, silently praying Lindsay was the only one to notice the tension.

  After all the presents were opened and the cake was devoured, Lindsay and I agreed we could slip out without seeming rude. We said goodbye to Jaxon first, who was way too distracted to really notice we were leaving. It didn’t matter to me. I was just happy he was having such a great time.

  We found Addison sitting next to Samantha, of all people, on the other side of the yard.

  “Hey, Addison,” I started, shifting from foot to foot, my hands in my pockets, trying, and failing, not to seem nervous. But damn, how was I supposed to act in this situation? “We’re headed out. Lindsay’s husband is heading home and wants to take them to dinner or something.”

  “Ok,” she said, not moving from her chair or looking me in the eye. “Thanks for coming.”

  “Uh, yeah, thanks for inviting us,” I said. “I guess I’ll talk to you later?”

  “I’m sure I’ll talk to you soon,” she said, glancing at me quickly and looking away even quicker. “Jaxon will be asking about you, so . . . there’s that.”

  I nodded once, feeling the sting of her remark. “Ok. Thanks again. It was nice meeting you, Samantha,” I said with small wave.

  “You, too,” she said. “Oh, and I friend requested you on Facebook, so we can talk any time you want.”

  Addison flinched just slightly. Samantha didn’t even notice. “I’ll let my publicist know. I’m not really on that Facebook page. It’s more of a marketing thing.”

  Samantha’s smile fell. I barely noticed. But I noticed Addison’s back straighten just a bit. Yeah. She had been jealous. But that didn’t make any sense. Hadn’t she just blown me off after kissing me? And not just kissing me. But really kissing me. And now here she was, pretending like she’d never even met me before. I was so confused.

  “Ok well,” I started walking backwards toward the door, “see ya.”

  “See ya,” she said without another glance.

  I got all the way through the front door before the Lindsay Inquisition started.

  “What the hell is going on, Jason?” she asked, Emma skipping beside her, dark ponytail swinging from side to side.

  I just shook my head. “I don’t know.”

  I unlocked the doors and helped Emma climb in. That’s as far as I could get. Booster seats had too many straps so I let Lindsay buckle her in while I walked around the car.

  “What do you mean you don’t know?” she asked when I opened my car door. She already had her seatbelt in hand. I have no idea how she got Emma situated so fast.

  “I mean, I don’t know! One minute we were talking and having a good time. The next minute she’s running out of the room like I’m a burglar or something. I don’t know!”

  I turned the ignition and pulled away from the curb, wanting to drive fast to get out the adrenaline, but very aware that there was a child in the back seat, so it wasn’t an option.

  After a few seconds, Lindsay spoke up again. “How did she cut her hand?”

  “We were slicing up the fruit and she cut her thumb. She’ll be alright,” I said. “It wasn’t very deep. Just bled a lot.”

  She nodded but didn’t ask any more questions, which was fine by me. I didn’t really want to talk about it. I just wanted to go home and lift some weights or run. Something to get this frustration out.

  “Mommy . . . ,” Emma asked from the back seat.

  “Yes, sweetie,” Lindsay replied without turning around.

  “Why was Jason kissing Jaxon’s mommy like that? Doesn’t Jaxon’s daddy kiss Jaxon’s mommy?”

  Lindsay’s head whipped toward me, her jaw dropping open and making an “o” with her mouth. “You kissed her?” she hissed at me.

  “No!” I said, glancing over at her while trying to keep my eyes on the road. “No, I kissed her back. She kissed me.”

  “Oh,” she said with a look of understanding crossing her face. “I see what you mean by mixed signals.”

  I shook my head and kept my eyes on the road.

  Lindsay spent the rest of the ride back to her place trying to explain to Emma that Jaxon’s daddy was in heaven. I will admit, listening to Emma try to wrap her poor little brain around that huge concept was pretty humorous. They started with Jaxon’s dad and ended up discussing every single animal she had ever known that had died, including her goldfish and the road kill we passed on the street. When she asked if Jaxon’s dad had to be flushed down the toilet to get to heaven like Goldie, I’ll admit I snickered. I knew it was morbid to find that funny. But . . . well, it was.

  When we pulled up into the driveway, Sam was already home, so I didn’t even bother to get out of the car. Once Lindsay got Emma out of her seatbelt and she bounded away, Lindsay turned to me.

  “I’m sorry, Jason,” she said as she dragged the booster out of the back
seat and dropped it on the driveway. “I know you’re not used to this type of thing. But just give her time, ok? She’s a nice woman. She just needs time.”

  I turned to look at my friend. “I understand that, Lin, but that’s the thing . . . she doesn’t act like she needs time. She doesn’t act like she’s grieving. She flirts with me and glances at me when she thinks I’m not looking and all those things women do when they are interested in a guy.” I sighed. “But then when a move is made, even if she’s the one who made it, she gets a look of terror on her face and she runs away. I know we just met but I’m just . . . confused. And maybe a little frustrated.”

  Lindsay smiled at me. “I’m sorry that this is hard for you, Jay. I really am. But you’re gonna have to work a little harder this time if she’s a keeper.”

  “Did you just say ‘if she’s a keeper’?” I teased.

  “Aaaand he’s back,” she said, pushing away from the seat and closing the door. I rolled the window down. “Thanks for the ride, Jay. I had fun.”

  “See ya, Lin,” I yelled out the window as I backed out of the driveway.

  I thought about the best plan of action the whole drive home and decided I just needed to clear the air. So I sent her a text.

  Me: I’m not exactly sure what happened, but I wanted to touch base with you before the game next week. I don’t want things to be weird just because we kissed. It was a great kiss, Addison. I’m sorry it happened too soon for you. Let me know if we’re ok.

  I waited all night for a response.

  I never got one.

  It was the second home game of the season. Jaxon was coming to the game this time. At least, last time I talked to Addison that was the plan.

  I had tried reaching her a few times, but she never responded to my texts. So I had Adam email her all the details and instructions.

  She responded to him.

  I was looking for Jaxon in the stands as people started streaming into the bleachers when the coach blew the whistle for us to huddle up. I jogged over to the group, taking one last glance at the seats I had reserved. They were empty.

  I felt a twinge of disappointment in my gut. But I brushed it off. I had a job to do now and it was time to concentrate.

  “Ok boys,” Coach Ramiro said, “I know we have the home-field advantage today, but I don’t wanna see any showboating out there for the fans. Injuries happen, but you know how I feel about dumb-ass injuries.” I chuckled and slapped Deuce upside the head. He’d had a dumb-ass injury a couple years ago when he tried showing off for the fans. It was all over the news that night. From a coaching standpoint it was ridiculous. From a teammate/best friend/person-most-likely-to-make-fun-of-you standpoint, it meant hours of fun for me. “La Russo!” Coach yelled, “Get these guys warmed up!”

  We all spread out and started our stretching regimen. I looked over in the stands again, mentally preparing to see the seats still empty. Instead, I saw Jaxon’s smiling face. Only Addison wasn’t with him. Mick was.

  I smiled and sent a quick wave in their direction. I swear Jaxon’s whole body waved back in response, making me chuckle under my breath.

  “Is that him?” Deuce asked me quietly through his legs.

  “Yep.”

  “Man, he’s got energy,” Deuce remarked.

  I snorted. “You have no idea.”

  For the next three hours, I thought about nothing but the game. Washington was looking really good this year and at one point it looked like they might be able to win. But they didn’t. We ended up edging them out by one touchdown for a final score of 21 - 14.

  We didn’t usually stick around to talk to the fans, but with it being so close to the beginning of the season, and having just won, most of us took the time to sign some autographs and take some pictures. Even the coaches stuck around a little bit to interact with people, which I appreciated.

  I made my way around the stadium, talking to people, before finally getting to Jaxon.

  “Hey, dude,” I said with smile on my face, ruffling the top of his head as he hung over the security bar. “I’m glad you made it.” I reached up to Mick to shake his hand. “Nice to see you again, Mick. Did you guys have fun?”

  “It was awesome!” Jaxon said, bouncing around again. “I got to watch an actual game! You tackled a lot of people!” he said wide-eyed.

  I laughed. “Well that’s my job.”

  “Thanks for the jerseys and hats and, well hell, all this crap, Jason,” Mick said, waving his hand in the direction of the bag. It looked pretty full. I’d have to thank Adam later. “I’ve got Addison’s jersey right here to take home to her.”

  “I’m just glad they found you one, too, Mick,” I said with a smile. I was hoping he couldn’t pick up on my disappointment. I was looking forward to having Addison wearing my number. I’m not sure what it was about her wearing my jersey that got me so excited. The concept seemed a little primal and possessive. But I’m a guy. Sometimes I can’t help it.

  “Can I wear it to school, Jason?” Jaxon asked. “I wanna show Mrs. Teske and Mrs. Miller. And that stupid Vincent Parker. He says we’re not friends. I wanna show him the jersey you got me!”

  “I think you’re gonna have to ask your mom about that one, bud,” I said, flattered that it meant so much to him. “She’s the one that does laundry at your house.”

  “So this is the famous Jaxon,” Deuce said as he walked up to join us.

  “Deuce Johnson!” Jaxon yelled. “You’re my favorite tight end! Do you remember that time . . .”

  I tuned Jaxon out when he started telling Deuce all the plays he remembered seeing on TV. Instead, I turned to talk to Mick.

  “I got us a reservation at the restaurant right here in the building,” I said to him. “In about a half hour from now, is that ok?”

  “Aw, Jason,” he argued, “you don’t have to take us to eat. Why don’t you save your reservation for another day?”

  I plastered a smile on my face, hoping he didn’t notice that I was kind of shocked he knew I was disappointed. “Nah. I’m starving and getting out of this parking lot is a nightmare after a game so I’d rather just eat here anyway.”

  “Well, if you’re sure. I’m sure Jaxon would love to spend more time with you. He talks about you all the time.”

  “He’s a really good kid, Mick,” I said. “Addison’s done a great job with him. I’m sure Austin did a great job with him, too.”

  “Yeah, he loved his boy more than anything.” Mick’s face was suddenly sad. He paused for a few seconds and looked down at me. “But I appreciate you taking some time to get to know him. It means a lot to Addison for Jax to have some strong male role models in his life.”

  I couldn’t be sure, but I got the distinct impression he was dropping hints in my direction. Before I could try and feel him out more, a voice that made me shudder came from my left.

  “Do you boys mind if I ask a few questions?” April Gill asked. I looked over at Deuce who had his eyes narrowed in her direction.

  I looked back at Mick. “Why don’t you guys head on and I’ll meet you over there after I’ve taken care of this.” He nodded and put an arm on Jaxon’s shoulder to lead him out.

  “Wait! I actually wanted to ask you two some questions,” she said, waving a hand in their direction.

  “Us?” Mick questioned.

  “Yeah,” she said, turning her attention to Jaxon. “Aren’t you that little boy from the pep rally at Mountain Park Elementary?”

  “No,” I said sharply.

  “Are you sure, Jason?” she said, glaring at me. “He looks just like the kid that rushed the stage.”

  “I said no,” I said again, getting angry this time.

  “Okay,” Deuce said, stepping in front of me and grabbing April by the arm to lead her away. “I actually have some really great fans for you to interview over here . . .”

  His voice trailed off as they walked away. I turned around and faced Mick. “Sorry about that. She is the resident snake in the gra
ss,” I said, looking over at Deuce who was hamming it up with some female fans, probably college kids. He was gonna catch hell for that tonight. I owed him one - or twelve - once Vanessa was through with him. “I don’t think Addison would appreciate putting Jaxon in the limelight.”

  “I appreciate it,” he said, turning to Jaxon. “Come on, Jax. Let’s head on over to the restaurant and wait for Jason there.”

  “Ok,” Jaxon said. “Bye, Jason.”

  “See you in a minute, buddy.”

  I turned around as Deuce jogged back over to me. “There. In and out and I’m done. But you know I’m gonna get my ass kicked by my shortie tonight. I need to get her on the phone and give her a heads up.”

  “Thanks for the deterrent,” I said as we made our way to the locker room. “Let me know if you need me to help talk her down.”

  “I hope I get to her before that bitch starts the rumors. Things are bad enough as it is right now.”

  “Is she still acting psycho?” I asked, pushing the locker room door open.

  “Yep,” he said, dragging his jersey over his head and throwing it into the communal laundry basket. “Last night I thought I was helping by folding towels. Apparently I don’t fold them right. We fought about it for almost an hour.”

  I started taking off all my pads and throwing them in my locker. “Did you ever think of just saying, ‘Yes, dear’ and letting her be right?”

  “Man, with as much as she has been back and forth lately, I just snapped,” he said, sitting on the bench to unlace his cleats. “I knew I should have just let her be right, but I was so mad that I was trying to help and she went all La Diabla on me. Anyway, I don’t wanna talk about it anymore, it’s just pissing me off,” he said, stripping off the rest of his clothes and heading toward the shower. “Where are you going to eat? I’m starving.”

  I stripped my shorts off, following after him. “I’m actually having an early dinner in the restaurant with Jaxon and his grandpa.”

  “Oh, that’s right. He’s a cool kid,” Deuce said, already under the water. “I see why you like him.”