Finished Business

by David Wishart

  ‘Hi, Messalina,’ I said. ‘Hi, Felix. How’s it going?’

  The little guy reclining on the right-hand couch was beaming. ‘Oh, very well done, sir!’ he said. ‘Not a smidgeon of surprise. I told the mistress here you’d’ve worked it all out, but she didn’t believe me.’

  Messalina, stretched out demurely on the other couch, gave me a butter-wouldn’t-melt smile, but said nothing.

  ‘Yeah, well, as far as the lady’s concerned I’m kicking myself, pal,’ I said. ‘Surdinus practically told us in his letter that she was involved. He was never at her wedding, so why would he say he was and that we’d talked, except to bring her name in? And if he and my father weren’t neighbours on Vatican Hill then he and hers definitely were, because that’s where Barbatus had his villa. You … well, there must’ve been a reason why the emperor’ – I glanced at Messalina, who was still smiling at me like a cream-fed cat – ‘the ex-emperor wasn’t taking the real conspirators seriously. He wasn’t a fool, Gaius, whatever else he might’ve been. Just a bit too trusting where his so-called friends and allies were concerned.’

  If I’d meant to embarrass the bastard – which I did – then I was disappointed. He shrugged. ‘True, sir. But then he had to go, because he really was becoming impossible. Putting far too many backs up, both for his own good and the good of Rome.’

  ‘The good of Rome, eh? Uh-huh. I’d been wondering when we’d get to that bit.’ This was my first day out of bed, and I was beginning to feel pretty woozy. I reached for a chair and sat down. ‘So you murdered the guy out of pure patriotic altruism, right? You and the lady here?’

  ‘Oh, we weren’t alone, Corvinus,’ Messalina said. ‘Far from it, as you well know. And your answer is, of course not. Or not where I’m concerned, at least.’ Her smile broadened. ‘Altruism’s all right in its way, and very useful in other people, but between ourselves it really is just the teensiest bit silly, isn’t it?’

  ‘So you get to play Livia to Claudius’s Augustus?’ I said.

  She giggled. ‘Claudius is no Augustus, darling,’ she said. ‘Not by a long chalk. But yes, of course. That’s the plan. It’s always been the plan, right from the start. Why do you think I married him? And believe me, cousin, that was how it was. I married him, not the other way round, whatever he chooses to think.’

  ‘Does he know? That you were involved in the conspiracy?’

  ‘Claudius? My goodness me, no!’ Another giggle. ‘He never even knew it existed, the poor lamb. And in case you’re thinking of telling him yourself, I really wouldn’t advise it. You’re only alive in the first place because Felix here is a complete softie. Do not push your luck.’

  ‘Yeah, I was wondering about that,’ I said. ‘Taking a bit of a risk there, weren’t you, Felix?’

  ‘Oh, not really, sir.’ Felix smiled. ‘Or if so then it was a carefully calculated one. Papinius was given strict instructions to draw the line at killing you but put you seriously out of action, and we did have men watching your house to make sure that no message was sent to the emperor. Besides, if you’ll forgive the liberty, I’ve always thought of you as a friend and colleague, and as I told both my former employer and my present one, you are far more interesting alive than dead. Dead without good reason, that is, naturally.’

  ‘Naturally.’

  ‘Fortunately, both of them were willing to indulge me. Against, I may say, their better judgment.’

  ‘Yeah, right.’ Jupiter! Still, gratitude where it was due. ‘Thanks.’

  ‘Don’t mention it, sir.’

  ‘In fact, don’t mention any of it, Corvinus.’ Messalina gave me another silky smile. ‘That is really, really important. Remember that minds can be changed, and that not mentioning things is all that’s currently keeping you alive.’

  ‘Lady, I have absolutely no intention whatsoever of talking about this to anyone, ever,’ I said. I meant it, too; after all, who would I tell? And with Gaius dead, why should I bother? Finished business was right.

  ‘There’s a clever boy.’ But I could see that both she and Felix had relaxed slightly. ‘Now. That being understood, and in exchange, Felix here says that you’ll have questions that you’ll want answered.’ She sat back against the cushions and folded her hands in her lap like a prim schoolgirl. ‘Carry on, I really don’t mind. Anything you like, ask away.’

  ‘OK. The most basic one first. Why kill Surdinus?’

  ‘Oh, you surely don’t need us for that, sir,’ Felix said.

  I shrugged. ‘Maybe not. Your pal Cerialis made the mistake of trying to recruit him, right? For the fake conspiracy, along with the other airhead idealists. Surdinus was having none of it, but he drew the line at peaching to Gaius, because as a good Stoic he’d no time for tyrants, and it’d mean that friends of his like Graecinus who were involved were likely to get chopped. That should’ve been the end of it, only he saw something he shouldn’t have seen, or heard something he shouldn’t have heard, that suggested the whole thing was a set-up and his friends were for the chop in any case. Yes?’

  ‘Not quite, Corvinus.’ Messalina smiled. ‘Surdinus was a loyal member of our group of expendables practically from the start. But your second guess is absolutely right. What he chanced upon – under compromising circumstances – was a meeting between Cerialis and Sosibius.’

  ‘Sosibius? He exists, then? But …’ I caught myself as the penny dropped. Bugger! ‘He’s a freedman of yours, right?’

  ‘Well done, sir,’ Felix said. ‘Better late than never. And you can’t complain that I didn’t play a fair game. If you assumed that his given family name came from Asiaticus rather than from the mistress, that was your mistake.’

  Hell; I’d forgotten about the devious little bugger’s liking for setting puzzles. And I’d hardly call this business a game of any sort. Still, he was right by his lights; if I’d connected Sosibius with Valerius Asiaticus rather than Valeria Messalina then it was my own stupid fault.

  ‘Sosibius was my father’s secretary originally,’ Messalina was saying, ‘which explained why Surdinus knew him, because Surdinus and Daddy were close friends. He’s frighteningly clever, the dear, and he always had a soft spot for me, so when I married my first I took him with me and gave him his freedom. Daddy was long dead by then, of course, and when Surdinus walked in on Sosibius’s confab with Cerialis, he couldn’t’ve clapped eyes on him for donkey’s years. Pure bad luck, really. It was just a pity that the man had such a good memory for faces, and of course there was the birthmark.’

  ‘Would it have mattered all that much?’ I said. ‘That Surdinus had recognized him? After all, there might’ve been a perfectly innocent explanation.’

  ‘We couldn’t take the risk. Surdinus was obviously suspicious, or beginning to be, and he was a clever man. If the others had begun to suspect Cerialis it would’ve put the whole thing in jeopardy. Besides, when the conspiracy was blown, Sosibius’s name and identity were bound to come out, and even with Felix here looking after our interests that would have been far too dangerous. So of course I had Sosibius kill him.’

  Spoken without a smidgeon of emotion; a feather of cold touched the back of my neck.

  ‘OK,’ I said. ‘That brings me to my only other question. Herennius Capito. Was he part of the real conspiracy?’

  ‘Oh, yes. Not one of the inner circle, fortunately as it turned out, but it was a shame he had to die. That was completely your fault, by the way.’

  ‘Me?’

  ‘Ordinary damage limitation, sir,’ Felix said. ‘According to the original plan, of course, when the decoy conspirators were rounded up I would have ensured, as I did in Asiaticus’s case, that he was quite safe. In the event, since you’d made the connection yourself and made it official, as it were, I had to go through the motions.’

  ‘Meaning torture?’ I said.

  ‘It’s not something I take pleasure in, Valerius Corvinus,’ he said severely. ‘Unlike the former emperor. However, under the circumstances it was necessary,
to a certain degree. Going through the motions, as I said. Unfortunately, Gaius chose to be present and direct matters himself.’

  ‘So Capito folded?’ Not that I blamed the guy. And if he knew – as he would – that he had something major to sell, then he probably thought he was in with a chance.

  ‘Yes. Luckily, as the mistress has told you, the information he had was limited. He knew about Julius Callistus, naturally, because as his superior in the imperial fiscal department, Callistus had recruited him. He also, probably through the Papinii, knew about Clemens, the Praetorian commander. He did not, fortunately, know that I was involved, or things might have become embar-rassing. That was a very closely kept secret, for reasons that you’ll readily understand.’

  ‘Yeah. Right. So what about this Caesonia business? Was she involved after all?’

  ‘Caesonia?’ Messalina sniffed. ‘Don’t be silly, Corvinus!’

  Felix ducked his head. ‘Actually, there we were lucky,’ he said. ‘At that point in the proceedings Capito was – well, you saw Graecinus, you’ll understand the condition he was in. He was very indistinct and scarcely capable of more than a mumble. Fortunately all Gaius could make out from where he was standing was the word “wife”.’

  ‘Uh-huh.’ I looked at Messalina; she was frowning. Shit; lucky was putting it mildly! I’d been so, so close; if Gaius had caught that bit the whole boiling would probably have gone down the tubes right at the start, without any extra help from me. ‘So what the poor bastard said was “Claudius’s wife”, right? Only you passed it on to Gaius as “the emperor’s wife”, or “your wife”, or whatever.’

  ‘Yes, sir.’

  ‘Pretty quick thinking.’

  ‘Thinking, fast or otherwise, is my job. And as I said, we were lucky. You know Caesonia yourself, and how the emperor felt about her. He wouldn’t entertain the thought that she was involved in a conspiracy against him for one second, and naturally that cast doubt on the rest of Capito’s evidence. Sufficient doubt to allow me to persuade him that both Callistus and Arrecinus Clemens were innocent.’

  ‘And just to make sure there wouldn’t be any more embarrassing revelations, you pulled the guy’s plug for him, yes?’

  That got me a long stare. Finally, Felix said: ‘Valerius Corvinus, let us come to an understanding here. First of all, the fact that Capito knew about the mistress’s involvement came as a huge shock, and was hugely dangerous; how he knew, I had and have absolutely no idea, but because Gaius had taken a special interest in the man and would want to be present on subsequent occasions, I could not risk a repetition, nor could I be sure that our erstwhile colleague did not have other names to hand that might have persuaded the emperor to change his mind. Secondly, which may perhaps weigh rather more with you, Capito would have died in any case, eventually, and after undergoing terrible agony. In the event, when Gaius had gone I put him out of his misery as quickly and as painlessly as I could manage.’ He hesitated. ‘Also relevant is the fact that, as the mistress told you, he was only there in the first place because of your interference. Accordingly, I would be grateful if you would remember that and cut out the fucking self-righteousness. Sir!’

  Yeah. Fair point. More than fair. Plus, I don’t think I’d ever, ever heard Felix swear, or step outside the bounds of master-servant correctness. I nodded.

  ‘My apologies, pal, I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘Forget that I said it, right?’

  ‘Duly forgotten, sir.’

  ‘So.’ I looked at Messalina. ‘What happens now?’

  ‘As far as you’re concerned? Absolutely nothing.’ She stretched luxuriantly. ‘We have a bargain, and so long as you keep to it, you’re perfectly safe. Besides, we are cousins, after all.’

  ‘Fair enough.’ I stood up, trying not to wince too much as my bandaged ribs kicked in.

  ‘You won’t mind if Claudius and I don’t invite you to the palace for dinner all that often, will you? I don’t want you to be too tempted.’

  ‘Believe me, that is not a problem, lady,’ I said. ‘None whatsoever.’

  ‘That’s good.’ Another smile. ‘I’d hate you to feel that you were being slighted.’

  ‘Yeah, well, I’ll try to bear up.’

  She giggled. ‘A pity, really. You’d be much more fun than most of Claudius’s po-faced friends. Still, needs must, I suppose.’

  ‘You’re not too upset with me, I hope, sir?’ Felix said. ‘Or disappointed? After all, it was for the best. And I did keep you alive.’

  True. Between Gaius and Messalina, not to mention Cerialis’s hit-men over on the Janiculan, this time round by rights I should’ve been for the urn half-a-dozen times over. Besides, in the ten years I’d known him I’d developed a sneaking admiration for the devious sod.

  ‘No, no hard feelings, pal,’ I said. ‘I’ll see you around.’

  I left.

  Well, that was that, then, I thought as I hobbled out the gate and into the waiting litter. You win some, you lose some. This one I’d definitely lost, although maybe – Messalina apart – Rome had come out ahead. We’d just have to see what kind of a job Claudius made of things. Personally, I was pretty optimistic: at least, like I said, despite surface impressions and popular opinion, the guy was no idiot. Plus, whatever she believed to the contrary, Messalina was no Livia, either; I’d had enough to do with that brilliant, cold-minded bitch to be certain of that. Valeria Messalina wasn’t even in the same league. So one of these days the lady was going to overreach herself, and it’d serve her right …

  There was only one box I hadn’t ticked, and it wasn’t one that Felix could help with, nor could anyone, for that matter: Naevia Postuma’s firm conviction, backed up by the changes he’d made to his will regarding Perilla’s – and my – bequest, that her uncle knew he was going to be murdered. Or, at least, was going to die very, very shortly. Oh, sure, he may have guessed that he was a marked man, but that didn’t quite explain things.

  Me … well, ever since my conversation with the Wart just before Sejanus was chopped, I’ve kept an open mind where the casting of horoscopes is concerned. And if Tiberius knew, thanks to the astrologer Thrasyllus, exactly when he was going to cash his chips in and who his successor would be, then I couldn’t see any problem in Naevius Surdinus having got his information in the same way. Weird, sure, but if it ticked the box when no other explanation did then weird I could take. The same went for Postuma’s Alexander; whether you liked it or not – and, as I say, personally I didn’t have a problem there – he’d been absolutely spot on about the assassination. Plus, from what I knew of the bastard in life, he and Gaius would’ve been bosom buddies and kindred souls. Given the fact that he did still exist on some sort of astral plane, his wanting to shove his ectoplasmic oar in made perfect sense.

  So we’d just have to shrug and move on, wouldn’t we?

  Maybe, at present, though, not all that far, or all that fast. Renatius’s wine shop wasn’t much out of our way, or if it was then what the hell: I hadn’t had a proper cup of wine for days, and I reckoned that I was owed one. The future could look after itself for the next couple of hours.

  I pulled aside the curtain and gave the litter guys their new orders.

  AUTHOR’S NOTE

  The story is set between November and January AD 40/41. As I’ve done with all the political Corvinus books, I’ve kept (I hope!) more or less strictly to the historical facts as far as I know them, even where these are a little surprising. Herennius Capito’s evidence under torture and Gaius’s discounting of it were as I’ve given them, as was the emperor’s rather strange response to his soothsayer’s warning to ‘beware of Cassius’ by recalling Cassius Longinus from Asia while ignoring the much more immediate threat posed by Cassius Chaerea, who was one of his eventual assassins. Introducing a reason for the anomalies in the form of a trusted advisor who was actually part of the conspiracy himself made a great deal of sense. To me, at least.

  I have, though, made two changes, both minor, both dictated by the
demands of the plot. First of all, ‘my’ two conspiracies are closer together in time by at least two months than the real ones actually were. The upshot of the second, of course, was unalterable where the date was concerned – Gaius had to be assassinated on 24 January AD 41 – so I left it alone; the first conspiracy was unmasked at some time in the autumn or very early winter the previous year.

  The second change had to do with the fate of Sextus Papinius; ‘my’ Papinius died just before the first conspiracy came to light, while the historical one was arrested and executed with the other conspirators. I don’t feel too guilty about this; if the young man died slightly sooner than he would have done, death from a broken neck is far cleaner than death by torture would have been.

  Oh – and one more slight departure from the historical facts, again for plot reasons. In January 41, the real Messalina would have been heavily pregnant with Claudius’s son Britannicus, who was born in February of that year; accordingly she is very unlikely to have been present at a public dinner party, and certainly not in the sylph-like condition I ascribe to her. Readers well up on their history will just have to forgive me.

  Unlike the entire Surdinus ménage and the murder itself, my conspirators are real enough, albeit drastically trimmed in number to avoid over-complexity of plot; however, the connection between the two conspiracies, and, of course, their different nature and Messalina’s involvement in them, are complete inventions of my own – although all three factors can, I think, be defended as at least possible. Interestingly enough – although I decided not to include the fact in the body of the text – the day after the assassination, 25 January, was Messalina’s birthday; a gift for a dedicated conspiracy-theorist like me. Being elevated at a stroke from her position as the wife of a second-rate imperial to that of the empire’s First Lady would have been quite a birthday present, particularly given the historical Messalina’s character, and I really can’t help feeling that the timing of Gaius’s death was deliberate on someone’s part.