Shotgun Marriage (Leadville, Co. Book 3)

by Danica Favorite

  For a few moments, the only sounds in the room were the crackling fire and the wind’s mournful cry.

  Then Jasper spoke. “Getting home isn’t the problem. Making sure the bandits don’t get there first is.”

  * * *

  Jasper wished he could have taken back his words to Emma Jane the second he noticed the lines furrowing her forehead.

  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” Jasper said, staring at the cookie still in his hand. Suddenly, it seemed as unpalatable as a rock.

  “Why?” Emma Jane lowered her gaze to meet his, drawing him away from his cookie and into the swirling blue depths, the brown flecks mesmerizing him.

  Jasper shook his head. “I don’t want you to be worried about what’s going to happen to us.”

  He was doing enough worrying for both of them. And now that the baby was in the picture, he had one more life counting on him to get them through safely.

  Which made this situation even more difficult. Trapped in this place, there was nothing he could do to keep them safe but hope the bandits would remain snowed in longer than they were. Emma Jane would probably say that he should pray, but he wasn’t sure what good it would do.

  Once again, Emma Jane squeezed his hand, the one he’d left carelessly on the table, not realizing how easy it would be for Emma Jane to touch him. And how desperately he wanted her to.

  One more distraction he hoped wouldn’t interfere with his ability to keep them safe.

  “Everything will be all right.” Her voice was low and gentle, and if there weren’t so many facts that said otherwise, he might have believed her.

  Jasper gave a noncommittal murmur, wishing he had something to say that wouldn’t provoke an argument.

  “It will be,” Emma Jane said, her voice filled with a passion he’d never seen in her before. “You mustn’t lose hope. Think of all the hopeless situations we’ve been in together over the past few weeks—being trapped in the mine, kidnapped by bandits... And here we are, safe.”

  He looked over at her, unable to fathom the optimism coming from her. “I seem to remember a girl sobbing her eyes out at the church picnic because her life seemed so hopeless.”

  And then she did a remarkable thing. Emma Jane smiled. “That’s true. I did. And Mary encouraged me, telling me not to lose hope because it would be all right. And it has been. Which is why I can have hope now.”

  They had one of the most notorious gangs in the region wanting them dead. Emma Jane might believe that the bandits wouldn’t hurt them, but at this point, they knew too much for the bandits to be willing to keep them alive.

  As much as Jasper wanted to believe that everything would be all right, he wouldn’t put much stock in that belief until justice had been done.

  He had valuable information about the gang, and when he returned to town, he’d be able to get the others in the sheriff’s office to bring them to justice. Regardless of Daisy’s outcome, the gang was still dangerous to the citizens of Leadville. Even if the gang made good on their plans to go to Mexico after their last job, not apprehending them would send a message to all of the other criminals in the country that Leadville was a place where they could get away with a life of crime.

  He looked over at Emma Jane, who was staring at the remains of her cookie absently.

  “Is everything all right? You’re not upset, are you?” Jasper asked, looking for signs that he’d broken the fragile peace between them.

  She shook her head. “No. I was just thinking about how my mother used to always spin her fantasies about what life must be like living in the Jackson mansion, having all the things you have and being at the pinnacle of society.”

  Jasper’s stomach knotted. Everyone had their ideas of what his life must be like. Ladies used to beg for rides in their gold-leafed carriage. Jasper himself had never seen a need for such frippery, but his parents always thought it was good fun.

  Then she let out a long, plaintive sigh. “But I wish I could go back and tell her that all those things are not what’s important. It seems to me that no matter who you are, even with a life as wonderful as what people think yours must be, people wish their lives could have been different.”

  He couldn’t speak. Couldn’t feel his own heart beating in his chest. Everything he’d revealed to her, even the things that he’d only hinted at, she’d understood.

  All this time, he’d been so angry at everyone not caring about his needs, his desires, and here she was, speaking to the fact that he felt so out of control. Not in so many words, perhaps, but at least she understood that the Jasper Jackson everyone so deeply admired was not the Jasper Jackson he wanted to be.

  He took her hand as he moved closer to her. “Thank you. You’ve given me hope that you really do see me. You hear me. And I appreciate it.”

  Then he looked into her eyes. Those deep, mystifying blue eyes whose flecks of brown made it impossible for him to decipher what was going on inside her.

  “I know our marriage started out rocky, but I promise you, I’ll do my best to improve upon it.”

  “Thank you.” She smiled and it lit up her whole face. A beautiful sight he hoped to see more of over the years. He truly hadn’t understood the value of such a simple thing until now.

  Then Emma Jane shifted her weight. “Does that mean you’re more open to accepting Moses in your life, as well?”

  His stomach dropped. Was that what all of this was about? Their connection? The seeming moments of hope in finding their way?

  Every woman in his acquaintance was gifted at the pretty words, the lovely looks and the subtle manipulation used to get what they want. He hadn’t seen it coming with Emma Jane—not when the words she’d used were all so...deep. So profound. She’d figured him out, all right. She’d known that he was tired of all the fluff and had been searching for substance.

  Jasper coughed. “I’d hoped our conversation would be more about us. Without involving the child.”

  “I...I...I’m sorry.” She looked away, but then turned her gaze back at him. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”

  Then her shoulders rose and fell before she squared off with him. “But you must know that I’m different now. Emma Jane Logan did everything she could to please others and be as little trouble as possible. Emma Jane Jackson, she stands up for what she believes in, even if that’s inconvenient to others.”

  She stood, her petite frame towering over him. “Moses is my son. He needs a mother, and I promised to be that mother. If you’re looking to improve our relationship, then you need to accept that fact.”

  Perhaps she hadn’t done such a good job of figuring him out, after all. No one backed Jasper Jackson into a corner. And clearly, she’d failed to understand that the one miserable thing in his life was his lack of choices. Because, yet again, she’d made it clear that she didn’t care about what he wanted.

  Telling her that meant rehashing the same argument they’d already been around. Clearly, she didn’t respect his point of view in this matter. What other matters in their marriage would she fail to respect his wishes?

  Jasper met her gaze with a steely look of his own. “And you need to accept that, in a marriage, a husband and wife make decisions like that together.”

  He didn’t want to talk to her anymore. Couldn’t, really. Taking care of an orphaned child, it was a noble decision. Daisy’s child, yes, it made taking in the baby even more so. But he hadn’t even been given the opportunity to think it through.

  “You’ll have to excuse me.” He rose to his feet and exited the kitchen. Not his finest manners, he’d admit, but what was a man to do?

  Jasper took the steps to their bedroom two at a time. Their bedroom. Ha! The Lewises had given them a room together, but the previous night, Jasper had slept in the chair while Emma Jane sprawled out on the bed. Not that he wanted to sha
re the bed with her, but she’d been comfortable where he had not.

  Childish of him to think that way now, because of course sleeping in the chair was the right thing to do. Just as raising Daisy’s baby was the right thing to do. And eventually, he would tell Emma Jane that. But was it too much to ask for Emma Jane to... Jasper flopped on the bed. Pointless. He’d asked himself this question, asked Emma Jane that question, dozens of times with no answer.

  It wasn’t even that he wanted to say no. He just wanted to feel like he had some say in a life he felt like he had no control over.

  He closed his eyes for a moment, thinking this might be a good time to catch up on the sleep he hadn’t gotten the night before. While the chair by the window was pretty enough, it definitely wasn’t suited for a man to spend the night in.

  But immediately, Emma Jane’s words about God, and how He was available to anyone who asked, came to mind. Did God care about Jasper? Would God be willing to help him see through the darkness of the situation?

  He opened his eyes and looked over at the table where the Bible sat. Just a few pages. He could read a few pages, and maybe somewhere in there he could find an understanding like what Emma Jane had. Like what Pastor Lassiter taught. Perhaps then he could pray to God, and He would hear him.

  And then maybe, just maybe, he could see a way to a future where he and Emma Jane could peaceably spend their lives together.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Jasper had barely spoken to her at supper. In fact, the only thing he’d said to her was, “Could you please pass the peas?”

  Why had she brought up Moses when they’d been getting along so well? Why couldn’t he understand how important taking care of Moses was to her?

  Emma Jane blew out a breath and set down the knitting project she’d began.

  Abigail looked at her sympathetically. “That wool is a mess to work with. I think I should have spun it differently. At the time, I thought it would be good for socks.”

  “It’s not the wool.” Emma Jane sighed as she looked over at Jasper, who was reading the same newspaper he’d been reading since they’d arrived at the hotel.

  “Marriage is hard, I’ll give you that.”

  Abigail glanced in the direction of the men’s study, where her husband and father were closeted. “Sometimes,” she said in a low voice, “Charles makes me so angry I can hardly stand it. But as Mother always says, marriage is for better or for worse. Most of the time, I’m pretty content with him, but, oh, how I wish he’d spend more time with the children and less time with his horses!”

  Emma Jane couldn’t help but smile at the other woman’s expression. If only her marital woes were as simple as Jasper spending too much time with his horses. She understood that marriage was about the good times and the bad, but when would she and Jasper ever get to the good?

  Though he was clearly trying to make an effort, his disdain for her was just as clear. He didn’t want to be married to her, and no matter how hard she tried to make things better between them, they always ended up fighting. Or worse.

  If Jasper had heard Abigail’s comment, he gave no indication. Apparently, the same article he must have read several times over was far more interesting than anything the ladies were talking about. His brow was furrowed, as though that same article contained such monumental information that all of his careful rereads concerned him deeply. Emma Jane sighed yet again. It wasn’t her place to judge his reading habits, but if the story was so important, why did he not attempt to discuss it with her?

  He’d said he wanted to start over, to get to know each other as they should have done in the first place. Well, perhaps it was time they did so now. Emma Jane cleared her throat.

  “Whatever is it in that article that has you so enthralled?” she asked.

  Jasper didn’t look up but he kept reading the newspaper. Was he deliberately ignoring her? Was he merely so engrossed in his reading that he simply didn’t hear her?

  “Jasper!”

  Finally he glanced over at her. “Did you want something?”

  “Why, yes, I did. I was wondering what you found so interesting in that paper that you keep reading?”

  “This? You wouldn’t be interested.”

  “Of course I would,” she retorted. “Isn’t the point of our time together that I learn about you? Even if you don’t think I would be interested, I still would like to know what is engaging you.”

  Jasper sighed and put the paper down. Emma Jane noticed that he set it awkwardly under the table, as though he wasn’t quite ready to put the paper away.

  “I suppose you’re right,” he said. “It was an article on a boxing match coming to town. I was thinking about how very much I would enjoy taking Will to see it at the Tabor Opera House. However, with the bandits on the loose, I’m not sure it’s wise to make plans.”

  Then his frown deepened. “It’s so frustrating being stuck here knowing what I know about the bandits while everyone else is back in town coming up with a plan that probably won’t work.”

  Immediately, Emma Jane felt guilty for pressing the issue. After all, it was selfish of her to focus on their relationship when very dangerous men were on the loose. But there was nothing they could do now. They were trapped until the snow let up. Since they were stuck here, why couldn’t they make the most of their time?

  “I can understand that,” Emma Jane said, softening her tone. “However, it seems to me that worrying over something you can’t change isn’t going to make the situation better. So let’s focus on what we can change.”

  He quirked a brow. “Is this more of your wisdom on making the best of things?”

  “Yes, I suppose it is.”

  “Well,” he said. “There you have it. There are many things I enjoy in life, but I’m finding that more pressing matters keep distracting me.”

  “Even though you can’t do anything about them?”

  A hint of a smile teased the corners of Jasper’s lips. “Seems to me we just had this conversation.”

  “Then why are we having it again?” She kept her voice light at first but then looked at him with enough seriousness that she hoped he’d understand. “Why aren’t you letting God take control of your worries?”

  “I suppose you’re right,” he said slowly, his brows furrowing back into the expression he’d worn while reading the paper. “I’d like to think that God is in control, but if that indeed is the case, how can He let these bandits continue plaguing our town?”

  “Have you tried asking Him? Have you prayed about the direction to take in pursuing the bandits?”

  Abigail gave an approving murmur, and while it felt good to have her support, Emma Jane was grateful she stayed out of the conversation. This matter was something that needed to be settled between Emma Jane and Jasper, and while it wasn’t ideal to have this talk among other people, Jasper needed to know the importance of trusting God.

  Jasper looked at her as though she were daft. “What good does that do? God doesn’t give a person a battle plan.”

  Emma Jane frowned. “Maybe not literally, but it’s amazing how God is present if only you just look.”

  Jasper didn’t appear to hear her words, staring sullenly off into space, as though he wasn’t even seeing her despite his face being turned toward her. “I’ve spent my whole life ignorant of the plight of others around me, and now that it’s been brought to my attention, all of my attempts to do something about it seem to fail. I look, and I see nothing but problems.”

  Finally his gaze fixed on her. “I know you want me to make the best of being trapped here in the hotel, but I can’t.”

  He gave Abigail a halfhearted smile. “No disrespect to you, ma’am. Your family’s hospitality has been among the best I’ve ever experienced.”

  Once again, he frowned. “But what good is being
a Jackson when I can’t make a difference? What good is having all this information about the bandits when I’m stuck here and can’t use it?”

  “At least you can take heart in knowing that the bandits are also trapped in the storm. As for making a difference, you’ve made a difference to me,” Emma Jane said softly. “Because of you, I have a home. My sister isn’t married to Amos Burdette. And I’m able to do things that matter.”

  She should have known that Jasper’s expression wouldn’t lighten. Not when she knew what a burden she was to him.

  “What kind of things?” A start. At least in that his curiosity was piqued. He wanted to see the impact his actions had for the good.

  Emma Jane smiled. “Like helping with Pastor Lassiter’s ministry. I’d always wanted to do more, but Mother was constantly harping on me for the time I spent at church. I’d have to sneak away, and then I felt guilty for disobeying her. Mary says I’ve been a great help to the ministry and that she has no idea how they’d have managed after the brothel fire without me.”

  Even now, with everyone else in town thinking Emma Jane worthless, she couldn’t help the feeling of satisfaction in knowing her contribution to the community. She’d have also liked to have mentioned how Jasper’s wealth would enable her to care for Moses, but given that they were finally communicating, it seemed wrong to bring up a topic that would only make him shut down again.

  Jasper nodded slowly, like he was considering her words. And, if Emma Jane were to be so bold as to read his thoughts, like he was seeing her in a new light.

  “Will said that Mary counts on you tremendously. You two weren’t friends before?”

  Emma Jane shook her head. “I would have never imagined I could be friends with someone as good as Mary. But when she reached out to me, and was kind to me, even when I least deserved it, something in me changed. I can’t explain it. Because of Mary’s kindness, I realized that all of the words in the Bible that I so cherished...they weren’t just God’s promises to the worthy. They were meant for someone like me.”