by Forgy, M. N.
It shows charity donations, pictures of parties, and then there’s a Facebook tag. I stop, clicking on the map. Looks like a groupie or something Facebooked about being at the club and tagged the location. Thank God.
Clearing the history, I toss the phone out the window and head in the direction of the Devil’s Den.
7
Simone
That’s it, that is the Devil’s Dust clubhouse. It doesn’t look seedy or Illicit in the least bit but you can feel the power from just sitting across the way. Inside those walls conceals some of the most wanted criminals in L.A.
I blow out a steady breath and look across the parking lot at different colored motorcycles lined up next to each other. I’ve recited what I’m going to say to Kane over and over, but now that I’m here, I can’t remember a single word. I remember how brooding he was before, I can only imagine what his reaction will be when I tell him I’m pregnant.
Turning the Range Rover off, I climb out of the seat and walk across the yard. My arms crossed, and hair blowing in the California air. Just as I’m headed to the front door of the club, I catch a glimpse of Kane hunched down by a motorcycle, wrench in hand. I pause, looking his way. He’s wearing just a leather cut with nothing underneath, and light washed blue jeans. The hot sun kisses his tanned arms, and beads sweat across his wide chest.
“Kane?” He looks my way, his hand twisting away at the bolts on the engine. When his eyes meet mine, they widen. He stands, dropping the tool to the ground. He’s not happy to see me.
Looking over my shoulder I head his way. He’s still as sexy as I remember. Tall, dark, and brooding.
“What the hell are you doing here?” he snaps. His eyes trail up and down my body, my sweats and baggy shirt different than the first time we met.
“I- I need your help, Kane.” I uncross my arms and look up to him. Who knew asking for help would taste so sour?
“You want money or something?” He throws his arms out, eager to give me anything to get off the club property.
“What? No, I don’t want money. I need protection.” My voice rises, the fact he’s asking me if I need money is insulting.
He shakes his head with a half chuckle. “No, this isn’t a charity house. You were a one-night stand, nothing else, sweetheart.” He turns around dismissing me, brushing his nose with the flick of his thumb. Anger and worry swirl in my chest like fire and wind. I want to lash out, but I need him to protect me and the baby.
“I’m pregnant!” I blurt loudly enough for him to hear. He stops, his boots scoffing against the ground.
“What’d you say?” Glancing over his shoulder his face wrinkles with panic.
I clear my throat and lift my chin with confidence.
“I’m pregnant, and the baby and I need a place to stay.”
“How the hell are you fucking pregnant?”
“Good question?” Sarcasm coils in my throat. I was hoping he’d confess his condom broke or something.
“Fuck,” he whispers. Nibbling on his bottom lip deep in thought, he places both of his hands behind his neck.
“If you want me to go, I’ll leave. I just need Gatz’s address.” Shaking my head, irritated I can’t even look at Kane. I should have known he would be just as arrogant as the night I met him.
“No. Just- just wait here, while I give Gatz a call and figure this shit out.”
His sudden change of tone has me do a double take. I can’t help but think he just doesn’t want me to go to Gatz. Jealousy practically pours from his smug face.
I nod and stand next to his bike. He steps off into the middle of the parking lot and pulls out his phone. He’s talking to Gatz, but I can’t tell what he’s saying. Maybe I should just go. Kane obviously doesn’t want me here.
Starting toward my car, Kane suddenly grabs my wrist, stopping me.
“Wait.” My eyes trail from his tight grip on my skin to his heated eyes. “Gatz and his club are in some shit, so you’re going to stay with me temporarily. I will set you up in a hotel or something, but if anyone asks, you’re my sister.”
“Sister?” My nose wrinkles at the word.
“Family means more to my club than some chick knocked up.”
I nod, understanding that. They probably have lots of girls popping up claiming they’re pregnant. “You said you need protection, what kind of trouble are you in?” He crosses his arms, tilting his head sideways.
I explain everything the best I can. Veer, the arrangement, me getting pregnant, and the whole time Kane just stands there with his arms crossed, eyes focused on me.
He sighs, dropping his arms when I’m done telling my story. Silence between us deafening.
“So, you used me and Gatz to prove a point to your family?” His eyes squint in my direction.
“Yeah.” I shrug, feeling like this is all my fault, I get defensive. “And you guys used me as a birthday gift and now I’m fucking pregnant.” He glares at me in return. “Your act of superiority can drop any time now.” Yelling, I point at him.
We stare each other down, trying to size the other up. The night we met seemed so long ago and happened so fast, we were nothing but strangers. But, if he thought I was just going to play pregnant bimbo, he was very wrong. We were all fucked up that night and were grown ass adults when we made the decisions to fuck around with each other.
His eyes narrow in on my vehicle behind me.
“We need to chop that Range Rover up. You will listen to me while with me, and if at any time you don’t fucking listen. You’re out,” he points at me. Him talking down to me is getting old. Fast.
“You know, this could be your baby inside of me,” I inform matter of fact, hearing myself saying ‘baby inside of me’ sounds misplaced. This whole thing hasn’t hit me fully.
His face pales as if he didn’t think about that, but just as it softens it hardens again.
“Yeah, and I never asked you to keep it either.”
My eyes widen, my teeth gritting. The option to have an abortion never crossed my mind.
I look to the ground, playing in my head if that’s something I want.
This child wasn’t planned, but it has my DNA in it. My family’s blood. My mother is risking her life for me to save this baby, I can’t let that go in vain.
Swallowing hard, I look up. My nostrils flaring.
“And I’m not here asking you or your biker boyfriend to play daddy!”
In one large step, our feet are nearly touching, my face to his chest.
“Keep your fucking voice down.” He hisses with a scared face, apparently his club doesn’t know he likes to swing with women and men. I take a step back, not intimidated by him. I deal with his kind all the time. More often than not, their bark is bigger than their bite.
“This is a big life change, and it’s scary. Believe me, I know.” My voice wavers with so much emotion I choke. “But turning your back on us will be the scariest thing in your life because you’ll regret it if we get hurt.” I poke him in the chest, and he sighs heavily. His hard eyes fall to my stomach and soften for the first time since I stepped out of my car. I think we finally see eye to eye.
“Get in my truck, I’ll deal with your car later.” He points to a red truck parked beside the club, and we both head that direction.
Climbing inside, he starts it, his eyes narrowing in at my torso. Clearing my throat, I buckle my seatbelt and look out the window. I feel vulnerable, and I hate it. This baby is already changing so much, and I’ve only been aware of it for a day.
Kane drives me to the same hotel Gatz and us stayed in that night. It still holds that country taste and is even nicer looking in the sunlight.
Pulling up to the main office, Kane parks causing us to rock to a hard stop.
“Stay in the truck while I check you in,” he states. The truck rocks back and forth as he climbs out.
Tucking hair behind my ear, I look the place over, flashbacks of the night before whipping in and out of memory. I wish I could remem
ber more than I do. Maybe then I would know whose child this is. Pressing my hand to my stomach, it’s still flat and seems illogical to be carrying a child inside of me. Kane steps out of the front office, and I look up. He waves me on, a key in his hand.
Getting out, I follow him to room 7. Once inside, the room smells clean, the bedsheets made, and towels in perfect place. It’s as if nothing ever happened in this room weeks ago. There’s no residue of coke on the dresser, the smell of sex in the air replaced with air freshener.
Stifling a yawn, I sit down on the bed, looking to Kane for what’s next.
“You’ll stay here while I’m out doing club shit. I’ll bring back some food and crap when I can—”
“By myself?” The edge to his sudden laugh, answers that question. “So, I’m just supposed to stay here and do what?” My brows raise to my hairline.
“Watch TV, read, do whatever it is you do, just don’t let anyone see you.” Noticing I’m not happy with my accommodations her scoffs. “Do you want my protection or not?” His controlled tone of voice and shifting of his feet make me aware of my attitude. Taking a calming breath, I look away from him.
I’m not unappreciative, it’s just not what I imagined when he agreed to protect me. I thought I’d be in the clubhouse with him, or at least tucked away in a nice safe house or something.
“How long am I staying in this room?” My fingers mindlessly fiddle with the loose string hanging from my pants, trying to distract myself from this piss poor situation.
“Until you can go to Gatz. Fuck!” he booms irritated, slamming the door behind him.
Jumping to my feet, my nostrils flaring I jerk the curtain to the side to watch him drive away.
“That asshole!” I kick the wall, my eyes threatening to spill warm tears.
I’m not staying here, fuck him!
A phone rings from the corner, and I turn around. My eyes narrow in on a black phone on the floor.
Glancing at the window to see if Kane has noticed it missing, I rush to it and find Gatz’s name across the screen.
“Hello?”
“Hello? Simone?” His light-hearted voice grounds me, telling me everything is going to be okay.
“This – this is her.” I cross my arms, tucking my bottom lip in between my teeth.
“Oh. Wow.” He chuckles. I can hear the nervousness in his voice.
“Hey to you too.”
“Sorry, this is just—ya know… different,” he exhales.
“Tell me about it.” Anxiety laces around every word.
“Kane set you up okay?”
Raising a brow, I look around the hotel room.
“I’m in a hotel room, but Kane isn’t here,” I explain, leaving out the part where Kane was a complete shit.
“Stay in that room, babe. From what Kane told me, it’s safer this way.”
A tear spills from my right eye, I don’t want to be locked in a room and forgotten.
“He said I’m coming to be with you soon?”
“Yes, that’s the plan. I want to get a place, maybe even a baby room set up.” A smile creeps along my face, one that hasn’t been in place for a long time. I can endure this shitty setup if I know there’s light at the end of the tunnel.
The door to the room opens, and Kane stands in the doorway looking like the reaper. His shoulders wide, arms bowed out, and face hard. I freeze. Gatz is talking, but I can’t hear anything from the fear pounding in my neck.
“That my phone?” Kane lifts his chin.
“It’s Gatz.” I shrug, trying to act unaffected. Stomping toward me, he snatches the phone from my hand and clicks it off. Not even bothering to talk to Gatz.
He looks at me with a heated stare, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d say he’s almost jealous I was talking to Gatz.
“What is your problem?” I snap.
“You,” he deadpans. “Gatz and I were fine until you walked into our lives,” he mumbles. Blinking slowly, my mouth parts.
“I’m not—”
“Just stay in the fucking room. You don’t like the rules, then fucking leave!” he bellows, the flower painted picture raddling on the wall from his harsh voice. I’m sure the entire motel is aware of mine and Kane’s arrival.
“Fuck you, I’m out of here!” I shove him, and head toward the open door. As soon as my foot reaches the threshold, I’m jerked back into the room, and the door is slammed in front of my face.
I turn around ready to give Kane everything I have, and he slams his fist against the door right behind my head. I jerk and hiccup a mousey whimper. Taking a step back, my back pressed against the door.
“Look, for some reason you mean something to Gatz.” His eyes fall to my belly. “Or this baby does, and I’m not going to lose him because of you wanting to be a snobby little bitch.”
My nostrils flare, and before I can correct myself, I slap him across the face.
His head doesn’t even budge. You wouldn’t even know I hit him if it weren’t for the slight pink staining his cheek.
He takes a deep breath, his eyes dilating. “Just… let’s just try and get along, for Gatz’s sake,” he growls.
“Then stay away from me,” I sneer.
“You weren’t saying that when my dick was fucking you into forgetting your problems,” his voice serious. My hand itches to smack him again, but instead, I cross my arms and roll my eyes.
I know this situation isn’t ideal for either of us, but we both seem to care about Gatz, and that alone makes me want to make this work. Besides, I don’t have much of a choice if I want to protect this baby. My baby. My chest warms at that thought. My baby. I’m a mom now, and I have to rein in my hormones for the both of us.
“Just bring me back some chocolate.” Sidestepping him I make my way back to the bed, I’m exhausted.
“I can do that,” he grunts, jerking the door open.
Plopping on the bed, I grab the remote for the TV and settle in for the journey that’s going to have Kane and I clashing teeth and breathing fire.
8
6 Months Later
The creakiness of the wheels from the cleaner cart, have me bolt upright and look at the clock. It’s nine in the morning. Shit, Kane is late leaving today. Kane steps out of the bathroom freshly showered and grabs his motorcycle keys off the counter.
“You know the rules,” he mutters, and I roll my eyes. Stay inside, and don’t let anyone see me. Same shit, different day. I’m a damn hermit staying locked in this room as long as I have.
“It’s been six months, when do I get to go to Gatz?” I huff, my big belly making it hard for me to sit up all the way.
Kane shoots me a look; his eyes fall to my stomach as he steps out the door. The way he looks at my belly makes me uncomfortable. He doesn’t want anything to do with the baby and leaves anytime I talk about feeling the baby move, or what sex it might be. I went on a run with him and his club shortly after I got here, only because he had no choice but to bring me along. He called me his sister, and I was hidden in another hotel. As soon as we got back here, I was shoved back in this hotel, never to be seen again. I haven’t even seen a doctor about the pregnancy. I haven’t told Gatz that last part yet. I know as soon as he picks me up, I will be in good hands. Whenever that will be.
Gatz is like Narnia or Santa. I believe and hope I’m going to be sent to him, but the reality of it being true is starting to be questioned. If it wasn’t for the one time he actually came here and I got to see him briefly, I’d call Kane a liar all together and leave.
Sitting on the bed, the door opens, the sound of deep voices echoing through the room. I sit up, curious if Kane brought one of his club members to the hotel. I could use some interaction with actual people. I’m so lonely it’s pathetic.
Kane struts in, his face lit up more than I’ve seen in months.
“I found a stray,” Kane said nicely, and then Gatz walked in behind him. His dark hair perfectly in place, his white shirt tight and snug under his cut
. My eyes lit up. He’s here for me, finally!
“Gatz!” I jumped up off the bed and hurried to his side. I couldn’t help myself, I swung my arms around his neck and pulled him close. He was hard but smaller than Kane. The smell of his cologne, grounding me. He’s just like I remember, soft and hard where it counts.
“Am I coming with you?” I pulled away from him, and his deep eyes darkened.
“Not yet.” His eyes fell to my belly, and before I could register my sadness that I’m not going with him, I became elated that he was acknowledging the baby. “Can I?” He held his hand out, and I nodded. Kane never asked to feel my stomach.
He kneeled in front of me and very gently placed his hand on the round of my growing four-month belly. I look down at my now six-month-old belly. It grew fast.
“Can you feel it yet?” he asked. “Yeah, but it feels like butterflies,” I replied with a huge smile.
“It’s unbelievable,” he whispered in astonishment before glancing up at Kane. Kane was hard in the face, his eyes dark and shoulders tense. He wasn’t happy anymore.
