by Forgy, M. N.
Gatz removed his caring palm and stood up, clearing his throat.
“The boys are probably wondering where I am, I better get,” Gatz changed the subject, and my joy burst into flames.
“But you just got here,” I protest, he’s the friendliest face I’ve seen in months. He can’t leave yet.
“Club duty,” he shrugs.
“I’ll ride you back to where they’re staying,” Kane mumbles, walking past us both like a pissed off girlfriend.
Gatz sighs, placing his hands in his pockets. Awkwardness swirls around us like confetti, we haven’t seen each other since that night. He glances around the room and suddenly frowns.
“You don’t have any baby stuff?”
I shake my head, my eyes gazing across the area. “I haven’t really left the room since I got here, I have cabin fever like crazy.” You can’t miss the edge to my giggle. I’m happy for what Kane has given me, I’m just lonely.
“Well, I kind of got something—”
“You what?” My heart skips a beat, and Gatz reaches behind his back and pulls out a purple stuffed dragon. The creature is masculine, but the color of this particular one gives it a feminine touch. The wings are dainty, and it’s face and eyes soft. It could be for a boy or girl.
Tears fill my eyes, and I lose my breath. It’s the first thing I’ve gotten for the baby. It makes everything feel that more real.
“It’s not much, but…”
“I love it.” I grab it, running my finger over the stitched horns on the head.
The sound of the wheels on the cleaning cart, bring me back from the memory, and my eyes fall to the dragon sitting on the dresser across from me. I don’t love Gatz like a lover, but I feel like we’re family. I miss him.
Standing up, I waddle to the window and watch Kane drive away. He’d be pissed if he knew I came outside when he left. Opening the door, I spot the housekeeper, Miss Suzy.
She has a clipboard in her hand, and a pen in her black curly hair. Her white and blue uniform is wrinkled, and there’s a run in her pantyhose today. When she places the clipboard on top of the cart, she spots me and lights up. She’s the only other person I can socialize with, without having to worry about someone finding out I’m here.
“Did you find any new books?” I ask with excitement.
“Room 3 left one, you’re in luck.” She bends down, grabbing a yellow book from a shelf and waves it in the air.
“Oooh!” I step out and waddle to her as fast as I can. The fresh air is amazing, so I don’t go too fast.
Grasping the book from her, I run my hand over the cover.
“The Gold Finch,” I read the title aloud, flipping through the pages.
“You ever read that one?” she asks, grabbing her smokes sitting next to the hard bar of soaps. I shake my head. I have four books that Suzy has found left behind in rooms over the last six months. One by John Grisham, Fifty Shades of Gray, The Little Prince, and now this one.
“Well, let me know if it’s any good, yeah?” She grabs her clipboard and lighter and unlocks room 5 before going in to clean it.
“Sure thing, Suzy!” I say without taking my eyes off the book. This is what my life has become. Sitting in a hotel room reading leftover books. I take bubble baths a lot, and watch TV when I can, but the signal sucks. Once I snuck out to the pool but a man wearing black was sitting across from me in a lawn chair and I became paranoid. I mean, who goes to the pool wearing all of their clothes?
At least in this room, I’m safe. Shutting the door behind me, I slide to the floor and stretch my legs out in front of me. One hand on my belly, I feel the baby move and kick as I open the cover to the book, ready for it to take me from this hotel room and into a place far away.
I’m halfway through the book, on the edge of my seat for the next chapter when Kane walks in the room. He’s here early, so I glance up from my book. Untucking my legs from under me, I stretch out.
“You’re back early,” I yawn.
His eyes are watery, and his face is lax and defeat from his usual hard mask. Little hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Something is wrong.
I drop my book and stand.
“Are you okay? What happened?”
“Gatz, he’s dead.” Raising his head, teeth gritted tears spring from his eyes.
“Wh-what?”
Kane turns and sits on the bed, his head hanging in his hands as he cries. A man as brutal and infuriating as Kane crying makes the world freeze in time.
The baby kicks so hard I kneel over the bed, my fingers clawing at the unmade sheets. My clenched eyes fill with tears as I think about what Kane just said.
“Are you sure, Kane?” I whimper. “How do you know?”
Sniffing, he stands. His eyes fall on my stomach, and anger turns his face red.
His moment of vulnerability gone.
“Get your shit, we’re going to the Sin City Outlaws in Vegas.”
He doesn’t give me any answers, he doesn’t hug me and tell me anything. He just starts grabbing my things and shoving them in a bag. If I didn’t know any better, it’s as if now that Gatz is gone Kane is getting rid of me too.
9
Simone
Standing in a floor to ceiling window of a suite of the Outlaw Casino, I look down upon the streets filled with motorcycles. Everyone is here for Gatz- to show their respect, some here not to show their support. Now that I’m here word has gotten out about Gatz possibly being gay, or bi-sexual and some members of affiliated clubs are outraged.
The authorities blocked off the entire strip of Vegas, urging tourists to explore other attractions of the Fabulous Las Vegas for the day as things are predicted to become violent.
Earlier today a fight broke out in front of the club sending three men to the hospital, none from the Outlaws’ club though.
It’s sad, why does someone’s sexual preference make them any less of a human than the person standing next to them. Gatz is gone, we should be focusing on a loss rather than people being offended.
The funeral was beautiful, but I felt detached to everything around me as the child in me kicked and moved around. What if Gatz is the father, did my child just lose its father? What about Kane, he doesn’t even want to acknowledge the unborn baby inside of me.
I was distracted, wondering what would happen to us now. The plan was to live with Gatz, have a baby room and be the crazy idea of a family. Eyes fell on me from everyone. The Outlaws stared at my growing stomach, and I felt targeted. Kane did nothing as he stood next to me like a cold statue. I didn’t feel protected or that Kane even cared about the baby, to be honest, if Veer showed up right then I’d probably be in the grave next to Gatz.
That was the last I saw Kane today, well, actually he took me up here and told me to stay before marching right back out. I didn’t even get a word in edgewise.
Sighing, my eyes searching the bikers down below, a familiar truck heads the opposite way of all the motorcycles down on the strip, Kane’s truck. Drawing in a deep breath, my hand palms the tinted glass as he drives away.
My gut knots as the idea he’s leaving me sinks in the pit of my stomach. Deep down I knew he was getting rid of me. Gatz is gone, and Kane’s obligation to him is gone too.
I was nothing to Kane, and never will be.
Doesn’t he care that this might be his kid? Hand on my stomach, I cry. I cry for my unborn child and Gatz. I cry for everyone but myself because this isn’t about me.
The door to the room suddenly open, but I don’t turn around to see who it is. Their presence is just confirming what I’m thinking. That Kane is gone, and I’m alone.
“Simone?” It’s a female voice. I hang my head, waiting for her to disclose the information I know she’s about to spill. “Look, there’s no easy way to tell you this—”
“He’s not coming back,” I help her, and I hear a deep sigh. I turn, finding a beautiful blonde wearing a sheriff’s uniform.
I frown, the uniform throwing me
off.
She looks down and realizes what has me concerned.
“I’m the president’s ol’ lady, weird, I know.”
I don’t say anything, it’s fucked up on so many levels. Here I thought me having two possible baby daddies was unconventional, this lady takes the whole fucking cake.
She takes a step inside, her hands fidgeting with one another. “The men sent me because they thought me having a vagina would make this easier,” she scoffs, a meek smile brightening her round face. “But yeah, Kane is gone. He said the only reason he kept you was because of Gatz, and now that he’s gone… he doesn’t see any reason to have you around.”
“That, or maybe he’s too chicken shit to admit he was gay with Gatz, and I’m living proof of it,” I snarl. It doesn’t much matter why he’s gone, it doesn’t change anything.
I clear my throat, the sting slicing through my heart. I didn’t love Kane, in fact, we pretty much hated each other but for him to turn his back on me during losing Gatz, is something I’ll never forgive him for.
“What now?” I croak. Are they going to throw me out on the street?
“You’re ours, and under our protection for now.”
“You mean until the baby is born, and you guys find out if it’s Gatz’s or not?” The bitch in my voice can’t be stopped, I’m abandoned, losing two men in my life in one day, and just plain tired.
She closes the gap between us instantly, her face perplexed.
“No, I wouldn’t let them do that.”
Her doe eyes take me aback, she doesn’t know me, doesn’t owe me anything. Why would she stand up to her president boyfriend for me? Maybe she doesn’t know the whole story? Maybe she’s just telling me what I want to hear?
I hiccup, the sob I’ve been stifling making its way up my throat. I’m exhausted and mentally drained.
“I think I’m going to go lay down,” I whisper, the urge to vomit making my mouth water.
“Of course, if you need anything, my name is Jillian. Just… just stay up here so you and the baby are safe, Simone.”
Glancing over my shoulder at her, I don’t say a word. Hiding in a dark room seems to be the only thing I’m good at anymore. “I know this is not ideal, but if Kane can just turn his back on you that easily, he’s in no position to be in your or that baby’s life.” Her attempt at comforting me warms me, I needed to hear that.
“Thank you,” I cry, the baby kicking me inside making me want to cry harder.
Jillian smiles but doesn’t say another word before leaving and shutting the door.
Warm tears stream down my face, the baby moving with my hysteria as I make my way to one of the adjoining bedrooms. It’s decorated in purple and golds, modern-day furniture placed perfectly around the small space. I crawl onto the fluffy comforter, my fingers strangling the material as I cry harder than I’ve ever cried.
I don’t cry for Kane, or Gatz, or myself. I cry for my child because look what I’ve got us into.
The dominos just keep fucking falling.
Mac
The chick with purple hair bobs and slurps on my dick. I can’t remember her name, who cares. Lowering my head back, I close my eyes and take a drag of my blunt. My fingers are sticky from the electrical tape on them as I was working on a project for the club and cut it. I was putting GPS on all our bikes. Couldn’t find a Band-Aid so I fixed it the best way I knew how. That’s what I do, I’m the tech guy.
My phone chimes, I ignore it trying to focus on the warm mouth wrapped around my cock. The suction pulling at my taut skin. It’s been a rough fucking day, and I need the distraction.
My phone vibrates and begins to ring.
“Fuck,” I hiss, grabbing it off the side table. It’s Lieutenant Lopez. Bitch is driving me crazy. I swear she thinks we’re a thing or something. I saw her two days ago, and I knew better than to. Stage five fucking clinger, man.
You okay baby? Just checking in and seeing if you needed someone to talk to. – Lopez
Great, now she wants to talk about our feelings. Whatever the hell we were doing, it’s done now.
A knock at the door has me dropping my phone on the table.
Machete enters, his red hair everywhere and his crazy fucking eyes landing on the bitch bobbing up and down on my dick. The way he’s staring makes me a little uncomfortable, and I fidget.
“What the fuck, man?” I finally say something.
“Zeek wants you,” he informs, his damn eyes finally looking at the floor. The woman lifts her head to glance at Machete, and I gently press on the back of her head, putting my cock back into her mouth. She’s not done yet.
“I’ll be there in a second,” I tell him, watching the bitch slob on my knob.
Suddenly the girl scrapes her teeth on my tip, and I wince. Irritated, and tired, I push her off me.
“You’re done. Fuck!”
“Sorry, I’m not used to sucking on a pierced dick,” she informs with a ditzy tone, wiping off her mouth with her hand. Shifting onto her hands, her small tits come into view.
Getting off the bed, I pull my pants up, I need to get to church before Zeek comes after me. Last time he made me sit in church naked for being late.
“You want to fuck though?” she nearly begs, I chuckle in reply. Thirsty chicks - same shit different day.
“Got business, babe,” I smile, grab my phone off the end table, and head to the chapel. I grab my dick; a slight sting still present from her nipping it.
The club smells decent as it was just rebuilt, the smell of pussy and beer gone. We will have to work on that. A dark shadow looms over the main room, a piece of plywood covering a recent broken window.
“What the fuck happened?”
“Someone threw a brick through it,” Felix, our vice president, says solemnly. He points to the bar, and a dusty brick with the word ‘fag’ spray pray painted on it.
Closing my eyes, I harbor my anger and rein myself in. People are fucking ass backward.
Heading into the chapel with Felix, all eyes are on me as I enter.
“What?”
Zeek smiles. “Have a seat,” he gestures toward my seat at the end of the table.
Slowly I make my way to my seat, not liking the tension in the room. It’s been a rough fucking day, so the shit-eating grin on Zeek’s face has me on edge.
“What?” I ask again.
“Simone is staying with us.”
“Simone was the one Gatz and Kane knocked up, I know who she is.”
“You are to watch her, keep her safe,” Zeek continues. Opening my mouth to protest, I close it. Surely, I’m fucking high and heard them wrong.
“Take her shopping for diapers, rub her swollen feet,” Felix adds before laughing, and the rest of the men follow.
“You’re fucking kidding!” I bark, standing where I sit. How am I going to fuck bitches and do drugs with a pregnant chick around? She’ll talk my damn ear off the whole time and I’ll never get any work done.
“I’m not. That may be Gatz’s child and we are going to make sure she has everything she needs. Pack your bags, buddy.” Zeek laughs, slamming the gavel down.
Collapsing back into my chair, I rub my hand over the stubble on my chin. I can’t fucking believe this.
A biker and a pregnant chick. This should be fucking interesting.
10
Simone
Part Two
Commotion in the other room wakes me. My eyes are crusty from crying and swollen. Using my hands, I push myself up onto my elbows and try and look through the bedroom door, but I can’t see anyone.
“Hello?”
Nothing.
Scooting to the side of the bed, I grab an ashtray off the nightstand and waddle to the doorway. There are condiments out of the fridge sitting on the counter, but I still don’t see anyone. Well, if they’re making something to eat they obviously aren’t here to hurt me.
I take a step out, my eyes bouncing all over the room for who might be in here with me. Maybe
it’s Jillian again.
“You want one?”
I scream, swinging the ashtray behind me. It thumping as I make contact with the intruder.
“Fucking hell!” A man bends over, grabbing his forehead where I hit him. Gasping, I take a few steps back and drop the ashtray to the floor.
Hissing, he stands up. His blondish colored hair falls in his eyes, intricate tattoos swirl along his arms, and that jaw of his could cut glass.
“You crazy ass bitch!” My eyebrows draw inward at his tone of voice. Our eyes lock for a few seconds before slowly trailing up and down one another. His eyes are the lightest brown I’ve ever seen with a hint of green mixed within. Like a sturdy tree standing in an emerald forest.
He’s taller than me, skin tanned, and holds a softness to his face, but there’s a sharp edge there too. It’s as if Kane and Gatz were mixed into one and made this man.
