Breakwater Bay

by Shelley Noble

  “I thought so. But actually it’s a good thing.”

  “Okay, you’re losing me. Come on.” She dragged Meri over to a bench and sat her down. “Spill.”

  “It’s not about Peter.”

  Carlyn rolled her eyes.

  “Really, it isn’t. Something happened. To me. I mean, I found out something this weekend.”

  Carlyn’s face changed to apprehension.

  “Oh, nothing bad. Nothing life threatening. But something about my past that . . . Oh hell, Carlyn. I was adopted.”

  Carlyn’s mouth fell open. “Adopted? Wow. And you just found out this weekend?”

  Meri nodded.

  “That is so weird. Why wait until now to tell you? They did tell you, right?”

  “Sort of. My mother left me a letter.” Meri pulled her feet up and hugged her knees.

  “Okay, that’s weirder than just weird.”

  “My dad—my stepdad—was there and Gran. They both knew, had known for a long time I’m pretty sure. The letter was from right before my mother died. I guess she didn’t want to die without telling me.”

  “Okay,” Carlyn said slowly. “It’s weird. But does it matter? I mean it doesn’t change anything about you . . . except maybe your blood type.” She grinned, and Meri felt “normal” for the first time since she’d found out about her birth. But it didn’t last. It wasn’t just that she was adopted. She was pretty sure she could get past that. But it was the other thing.

  “Are you freaked? You shouldn’t be. I mean, I know it will take some getting used to. But does it really change anything? You have a great family, and they haven’t changed.”

  “That’s what Alden said.”

  “Your neighbor out in Compton?”

  “Yeah. He said my family loved me, and that was all that mattered.”

  “Sounds like a pretty smart old dude.”

  “Yeah, but there’s something else.” Should she tell Carlyn the whole truth? It would leave her vulnerable if it got out. Would there be legal ramifications? What could possibly happen? Her mother was dead, and Meri could hardly be held responsible. But Gran. What could they do to Gran?

  “What? Go on and get it out. And we’ll figure out how to deal.”

  Meri hesitated. Took a breath. If she couldn’t trust Carlyn, there was no one on earth she could trust. “I’m not sure the adoption was legal.”

  Chapter 6

  Whoa. You mean like black market kind of stuff?

  “No. Not exactly.”

  “Not exactly, how?”

  “I don’t know if I should tell anyone.”

  “Cross my heart and hope to die if you leave me dangling at this point.”

  Meri smiled. She was so fortunate in her family and in her friends. She knew that. She’d come this far. And maybe Carlyn would have some advice.

  “I don’t know all the facts. I was so blown away, I just fled back here without asking too many questions. I know I have to, but—” She shivered.

  Carlyn dragged her to her feet. “Talk while we walk. I’m feeling the need of a triple-double shot something.” She slipped her arm into Meri’s. “Start from the beginning.”

  So Meri told her about the letter. About her mother’s dead baby. About the teenager whose baby lived. How she was that baby and her mother’s baby was buried with the teenager.

  “Holy crap,” Carlyn said when Meri had come to the end of her explanation. “I’m buying breakfast. Are you going to try to find your birth family?”

  “I don’t know. I have to talk to Gran. See what she remembers. But, Carlyn, don’t say anything to anybody. What if my mother and Gran broke the law? Could they send Gran to jail?”

  “Jail? Surely not. Do you think they could?”

  “On your left,” someone called out.

  They automatically moved aside and waited for a group of joggers to run by them.

  “Maybe you should ask—” Carlyn stopped, frowning. “Did you tell Peter? Is that why you broke up?”

  “No. I was deliberating whether to tell him when he told me he was leaving for L.A. It made the whole question academic at that point.”

  “Maybe you should ask him. He worked in the legal department. He’s going to study law. Maybe he can do some research.”

  “No. I shouldn’t have even told you. It puts you in a really awkward position. I know. But—”

  “Stop. That’s what friends are for.”

  “But you have to promise not to tell. Unless you’re under oath. Please.”

  “Of course I won’t tell. I’ll even plead the Fifth.” They started walking again. “Are you okay with all this?”

  “I don’t know. At first I didn’t believe it. Then I was shocked. And hurt and angry and confused. But two days later, I’m jogging with you. And life goes on. It wasn’t like it was my fault. And I know my family loves me and would do anything for me. I’ll come to terms with it. I just hope it doesn’t come back to bite us all in the butt.”

  “If it hasn’t by now, I doubt if it will.”

  “Famous last words.”

  “Just don’t go stirring things up. Though I guess that’s a stupid thing for me to say.”

  “Why?”

  “It’s kind of your life’s work. Uncovering the past.”

  Alden had just reached in the freezer for the coffee when his cell phone rang. He checked caller ID and answered it.

  “Daddy.”

  “Hi, honey; you’re getting an early start.”

  “We’re going to church.” Nora dragged out the last word. “Are you sick? You sound hoarse.”

  “I’m fine. I haven’t had my coffee yet.”

  “It’s almost eleven o’clock.” A pause. “Were you out late last night?”

  “I was up late working.”

  “Oh. You know, you should really get a life.”

  “I have one, keeping you in designer jeans and Lucas in computers.”

  “I mean a real life. Anyway, I have a proposition for you.”

  “Am I going to like it?” He measured coffee into the coffee filter.

  “Of course. I want to come there for spring break.”

  “Great. When is spring break?”

  “It starts this Saturday.”

  Alden shook the fog out of his brain. “I thought you all were going to Boston next week.”

  “They are. I don’t want to go. Please let me stay with you.”

  Between her age and her normal personality, Nora could often be dramatic, sometimes jaded and worldly, but today she sounded like his little girl. “What happened?”

  “Nothing, I just want to come home. Please. They’re just doing stuff for Henley.” She drew out the name of her half brother. “He’s such a butthead. They’re just making me go so I can babysit when they want to go out. They already treat me like Cinderella. And after the baby comes, it’s just going to be worse. I don’t have a life.”

  Another baby.

  “If it’s okay with your mother and Mark, I’d be glad to have you. What about Lucas?”

  “They bribed him with the computer museum. He’s such a geek. Make her let me come. I don’t care about computer museums or their ‘family time.’” The last two words dripped with teenage disgust. She was obviously quoting. “They can have their stupid family. Lucas and I are just an afterthought. Not that he even notices.”

  Alden wanted to tell her he was sure they both loved her and Lucas. But he wasn’t sure. And he didn’t want to make light of something that was upsetting her.

  He passed a hand over his face. His unshaven face. “Look, I’d love for you to visit, anytime, but not if it’s going to cause dissension in the family.”

  “Not you, too. Please, Daddy. Please. At least talk to Mom.”

  Alden heard another voice in the background, a voice he knew. “Nora? Aren’t you ready yet? We’re going to be late for church.”

  He turned on the spigot to drown her out. Poured water into the coffeemaker and turned it on.


  “Oops, busted.” Nora moved the phone away and he heard a muffled, “I’m talking to my father,” delivered in her “officious” voice. “I’m going there for spring break.”

  “Give me that.” A scuffle and Jennifer took the phone. “What’s going on? Did you instigate this?”

  Jennifer. Still looking for an argument. Anger swelled inside him. He knew it was a purely reflexive reaction. Life with Jennifer had been one long argument from the minute they’d driven up to the house, the moment she realized she wasn’t going to be living in the lap of luxury in a Newport-style mansion, but in an old house in need of repairs. How had she gotten it so wrong? Certainly not from him.

  “Well? I’m waiting for an answer.”

  “Nora would like to come here for spring break.”

  “Did you put her up to this?”

  “He didn’t. I called him,” Nora said from the background.

  “Nora, go downstairs.”

  “This is the first I’ve heard of it. You can send both of them if you want.” He stopped himself before he said he would take them anytime. She would never let them come for a visit if he did.

  “This was supposed to be a family vacation, and she’s done everything she can think of to make life miserable for everyone.”

  Do not engage, he told himself. Argument never did any good. Their arguments had once led to great sex, but even that had paled after the first few months. Now, he just didn’t care.

  In the background he heard Nora yell, “I’m going to Dad’s.”

  “Fine, suit yourself. I’ve had it with you. We’ll drop her off on our way.”

  “When are you—”

  She hung up before he could ask when they would arrive. He got down a mug and poured coffee into it. He’d better get some work done. It looked like he was going to have a visit from his daughter.

  Therese was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking coffee, and deliberating about whether to ask Alden to drive her into town, when there was a knock at the back door. She smiled, knowing who it was, but she also felt a secondary moment of panic. Once the decision was made, there was no going back.

  The door opened and Alden stuck his head inside.

  “Come in. Pour yourself a cup of coffee.” Therese pulled her own mug closer and wrapped both hands around it. It was comfortably snug in the kitchen, but she couldn’t seem to get her hands warm.

  She watched Alden shed his windbreaker and hang it over the back of the chair. Watched his back as he reached in the cabinet for a mug, poured out coffee. When he turned to come back to the table, he stopped, tilted his head in the way he had, then came over to sit opposite her.

  “Therese, are you feeling okay?”

  “Yes.” Physically, anyway. But for the rest of it . . . “I have something on my mind.”

  Alden nodded.

  “There is a box. Laura left it for Meri.” She looked up from her coffee to find Alden watching her. She could never tell what he was thinking. It was like his thoughts were so deep inside him that they had a hard time coming out. But she knew they were there.

  When she was a girl, there had been a boy like that in her class at school. He sometimes came to help out at the farm when it was still a working farm. He pretty much kept to himself, even though he knew Therese from school.

  She’d asked her father why he never said much.

  “He’s a deep one,” her father said.

  Alden was another deep one. God only knew what lived in his brain along with all those fanciful creatures he drew, sometimes beautiful and colorful; sometimes black and frightening, bringing a chill all the way up your spine.

  He’d been such a loving boy and like a big brother to Meri, patient and kind even though he was twelve years her senior. Then he married that awful women. Therese thought she must have squeezed all the love right out of him. But he was loyal. And he loved his children. And the Calders. And especially Meri.

  She swallowed. “I wanted to ask you if you would drive me to Newport to give it to her.”

  His eyebrows dipped. “Mind if I ask what’s in it?”

  Therese shook her head, took a breath. “Just some things Laura wanted Meri to have. Mementos. Letters from her father . . . that is, from Huey to Laura. A few papers.” She paused. “A diary.”

  She hadn’t realized that she was no longer looking at Alden until she heard his intake of breath. Then she forced herself to look him in the eye—those dark gray eyes under black lashes that had made him such a beautiful boy. When had those eyes become so unfathomable?

  But she knew the answer: the night they had placed a grown man’s burden on his young shoulders, the night he’d sworn to keep their secret.

  A sound escaped from somewhere deep inside her. Alden was on his feet and coming to her. “Gran,” he said, just like he was still a boy.

  She held up her hand warding him off; she didn’t deserve his sympathy, his concern. He’d lost his innocence of the world that night, and it was partially her fault.

  He ignored her, dragging a chair over and sitting down; he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. “It’s all right. It will be all right.”

  “So you will take me?”

  “No.”

  She pulled away. “Then I’ll take the bus.”

  “Gran, listen to me. Wait. Don’t make her assimilate this all by herself away from us.”

  “Alden, I know you want to protect her, you always have. But it might be easier if she doesn’t have us looking over her shoulder, pressuring her. I may be selfish, but now that it’s started, I want it done. Not for myself. I would rather have taken this to the grave with me. But I didn’t, and now that she knows, it has to finish, if any of us, especially Meri”—Or you—“are going to get on with our lives. Whether she accepts us or rejects us, we can’t keep her bound by this secret any longer.”

  “It might be easier on her, but what if she—” He stopped abruptly, but she knew what he would have said.

  “If she doesn’t want us?”

  He looked bleak. Alden, maybe more than either Laura or her, was tied firmly to Meri, whether he realized it or not. Once this was done, he would be free, too.

  Alden straightened in his chair as if resolved. “I have to go to the city tomorrow to turn in some pages and talk to my editor. I’ll stop by her work on my way. I was going to anyway.”

  “You’re a good boy.”

  He lifted an eyebrow and she realized her mistake. For a minute she’d been somewhere else, sometime long ago. “A good man.”

  “I was coming over to tell you. Nora is coming for spring break. She’ll be here on Saturday. I was going to ask Meri if she had some time to maybe show her around, or do something with her. I have a lot of work to do next week, and she gets bored quickly.

  “I’ll ask Meri if she can come this weekend. That way she can read everything here, and if she has questions, you’ll be here to answer them.”

  Therese shook her head. “I thought about this all night. It’s better for everyone if it isn’t dragged out. She has a right to know it all. Am I being selfish to want this finished?”

  “No. Of course not; you’ve never been selfish, ever since I’ve known you. Am I?”

  “You? Why would you say such a thing?”

  He bit his lip, then asked quietly, “Am I in the diary?”

  Therese patted his hand, understanding dawning. “Perhaps.”

  He pulled his hand away, braced his elbows on the table, and lowered his head to his hands.

  “What is it? You only did good things.”

  “I didn’t tell her. All these years I never told her. I never told anyone.”

  Therese rubbed his back, just like she had the night Meri was born as they waited for Wilton to pick him up and take him home—a boy with an awful burden thrust upon him.

  She’d known even then Alden would never break a promise, but she drew the line at making a boy lie to his father. So she told Wilton the whole story. How Alden had
saved the girl and the baby. How the girl had made him promise not to tell anyone about her or Merielle.

  They didn’t know then how desperate the girl was. They thought it was just exposure to being out in the rain, that she would come around. She’d see her baby and feel better. The night Meri was born, they’d let Alden in to see the baby, and she asked to speak to him alone. Therese shouldn’t have allowed it. But she didn’t have the heart to deny the girl’s request.

  So she and Laura had retreated to the hallway and stood listening behind the closed door. He’d promised to take care of her baby. And he had—for thirty years. “It won’t make a difference to her.”

  “Won’t it?”

  “Well, perhaps she’ll be a little miffed at first. But when she thinks about it, she’ll be grateful.”

  “Which is just what I’m afraid of. But if you want me to take the box, I will.” He stood up. “Where is it?”

  Therese pushed herself up from the table. She felt weak and old and guilty. New guilt heaped on the old. Once again she was asking Alden to do something she had hoped they would never have to do.

  “It’s in here,” she said and walked out of the kitchen.

  Meri and Carlyn stuffed themselves with Belgian waffles, covered in fruit and whipped cream, and drank two cappuccinos apiece as they carefully avoided more talk about the past. But Meri could feel the bond between them had grown stronger. And she trusted Carlyn with her life.

  She just hoped that she was as good a friend to Carlyn as Carlyn was to her.

  They parted on the sidewalk outside of Barney’s, Carlyn off to the lab and office to catch up on paperwork, and Meri to do laundry.

  Life goes on, Meri thought as she carried work clothes, sheets, and pillowcases down to the basement. As she shoved clothes into the washer, she was hit with an image of the past weekend: her dad clasping the locket around her neck, a picture of him and her mother. She knew it was his way of telling her that nothing had changed, that he claimed her for his own. And she had to believe him.

  She did believe him and that grounded her more than anything else. Alden was right, as he often was, damn him. Indiscretion in the backseat of a Chevy did not make a mother or a father.