Betting Jessica

by Deanne Wilsted

  What was left of her hope for her future, her sense of self confidence or pride in her own determination? Nothing, she thought.

  Scraping her spoon on the bottom of the ice cream container she realized in desperation that she was now even out of ice cream. For the fortieth time that hour Jessica sighed; this time, though, she found enough energy to grab the phone and dial her lifeline.

  “Beck, I think I need you.”

  “Let me put my tennies on and I’ll be there in five minutes.” Becky had caught the note of discouragement in Jessica’s voice and immediately flown into best-friend mode.

  “Thanks Becky. Oh,” she added, “and can you bring some ice cream?”

  It took Becky less time to get to Jessica’s apartment than it did for Jessica to determine whether she should try to get up and wash the chocolate off her face. When Becky arrived, with a bag full of mood altering substances, Jessica was still curled up on the couch undecided.

  Being the good friend that she was, Becky had grabbed frozen yogurt rather than full calorie ice cream. It would be one less thing for Jess to regret the next day. She’d also brought leftover mac-n-cheese and garlic bread, two of Jess’s favorite comfort foods.

  Jessica got a whiff of the bread as soon as Becky walked in and grabbed at her rumbling stomach.

  “How about starting with some water to wash down the chocolate,” Becky called as she picked up the empty ice cream carton and headed toward the kitchen.

  “Mmmm, whatever,” Jessica mumbled, less interested in the water than getting her hands on a piece of the garlic bread. Looking at the plate Becky brought out she didn’t know whether she should feel grateful or scared to have a friend who knew her so well.

  It was piled high with the gooey pasta and chunks of bread and had two forks so they could share it… just like Jessica knew Becky would share her problem with her.

  Jessica swayed a bit on the couch when she sat up to reach for the plate of food Becky had strategically set just out of reach. She waited for the head rush to pass and when the fog cleared she saw that Becky had her hand in front of her with the bottle of water held out. Jessica grabbed it and took a huge gulp before reaching out for the bread perched haphazardly on top of the macaroni. Taking a big bite she looked at Becky and realized she was at a complete loss for words.

  “Jess,” Becky asked tentatively, “what happened? I haven’t seen you like this since…” Becky paused, obviously trying to remember the last time. “Well, since before the bet.”

  Jessica stuffed her mouth full of macaroni in order to buy herself a few more minutes. She didn’t know how to explain her uncertainty and humiliation at Erik’s tagging along on the trip.

  “Would it help if I guessed what’s going on?” Becky finally continued. “Or do you want to tell me why you just finished off an entire pint of Chunky Monkey?” She held up the empty carton as evidence.

  Jessica wanted to tell Becky all about it, she really did, but she didn’t know where to start.

  “I’d never admit it to the guys, of course,” she said, playing for time, “but I swear Becky, I think there is something to PMS. I mean, normally I think I might have been able to handle the day I just had, including finding out that Erik was planning to come with us to Tahoe, but for some reason today I feel like it is the end of the world. And, for the life of me, I can’t figure out why.”

  A guilty look crossed Becky’s face and she squirmed a little.

  “Jess, I’ll be totally honest with you. I knew Erik was thinking about tagging along.” Throwing up her hands to stop Jessica’s tirade she went on, “I wanted to tell you. Really! But I knew how mad you would be, and, well…” Becky paused, using the time to think on her feet. “I knew Peter really wanted to have someone other than Blaise along since, um, he and Blaise don’t seem to get along very well.”

  This sounded totally plausible to Jessica. She had seen Blaise and Peter together and it was like throwing red in front of a bull. In fact, the last time they were all together Peter practically began pawing the dirt. Still, it didn’t really solve anything.

  “Even if you did know, Beck, it doesn’t really matter. It doesn’t change the fact that Erik is planning to come along on my futile mission.”

  Becky sat back and frowned.

  “But Jess, I don’t understand. How does Erik’s joining the vacation make your mission futile? I mean, you’ve already laid all the groundwork. Why the pessimism?”

  “Oh come on, Beck. Don’t pretend you haven’t been thinking this was a stupid idea all along.”

  “Are you kidding? When you started this I thought you were totally crazy.”

  “See,” Jess said.

  “But,” Becky interrupted, holding up her hand to stop her, “look at how great the project has been for you. You’ve lost weight. You’re saving money. You are focused and making really solid plans. In fact, you’re all ready to go.”

  Becky waited while Jess thought about that.

  “And besides,” she finally added, “you can’t back out now. I’m all set to help you go catch a movie star.”

  Jessica growled at this just as Becky must have known she would.

  “Catch a movie star? You make it sound like it’s some sort of fish or disease.”

  “I only meant,” Becky said, clearly trying to keep the smile off her face but Jessica cut her off.

  “That’s not what we’re doing and you know it. Besides… that’s pretty disrespecting the best celebrity superhero ever.”

  “Yeah, yeah… I know, blah, blah, blah, Ian Drake,” Becky continued riling her up. “Anyway, whichever celebrity you want to date it’s all the same to me. The point is you can’t back out now. All of the plans are made… I even took time off of work, and you know how difficult that is to get accomplished.”

  “Beckyyyy,” Jessica said rolling her eyes, “I keep telling you, it’s not about dating just any celebrity. I really like Ian and I think if he knew me maybe he’d like me too.”

  “See, so the plan’s all set.”

  The word plan was like an icy shower. Jessica became deflated again.

  “Anyway, that’s what I originally thought. But I’m sure I’m fooling myself. I mean, look at me.” Jessica glanced down at her chocolate stained sweatshirt and sighed. “Not exactly celebrity girlfriend material am I?”

  “Okay, so maybe you’re having a bad day, but well, at least you’re wearing your U of O sweatshirt. Isn’t that where Ian went to college?”

  “Well, yeah,” Jessica answered grudgingly.

  ”So you can’t tell me that even in the midst of your misery you aren’t still thinking about him. How will you live with yourself if you don’t at least try?”

  Jessica acknowledged what Becky said with a thoughtful frown. It was true. It would be really devastating at this point to give up. She’d told too many people and made too big a deal of the whole thing.

  “Let Erik come along,” Becky continued. ”Who cares? All he’ll see is a confident, self-possessed, beautiful woman who isn’t scared to go after what she wants. That will show him how wrong he is when he says you are always so chaotic.”

  “What a jerk,” Jessica said starting to become mad again. “Like he has room to talk. He’s the most uptight, unambitious, uh, fool that we probably know.”

  “Ooohhh, harsh words,” Becky laughed. “Anyway, with or without getting the date, your seeing this through will show Erik what you’re made of; not to mention prove it to yourself.”

  Jessica smiled at her friend. She didn’t feel much like the capable woman Becky was describing right now, but she didn’t really see an alternative either.

  “Well, I guess as the British say; in for a penny in for a pound. If I’m going to go down, I may as well do it with style.”

  “Exactly!” Becky was already reaching for the phone. “Now, when are you supposed to go out shopping with Katie? Because as of this moment we are moving it up. Nothing like shopping therapy on a Saturday to make things
right again.”

  Becky was on a roll at this point and there was no shutting her down. Jess realized she wouldn’t get a word in edgewise for a while so she sat back and let Becky ramble on.

  “Darn, Katie’s phone is busy. Okay, not to worry. I’ll keep trying till I get her and see if she can meet us in the morning. You,” Becky paused and looked at Jessica as she wrinkled her nose; “well, you scrub the chocolate off, get a good night sleep and be ready to tackle the really important stuff tomorrow.”

  Jessica watched as Becky grabbed her purse and headed for the door. Beck was almost gone when Jessica found her voice.

  “Thanks Beck,” she said quietly. “I guess I forgot I had my very own super-hero to swoop in and save me at a moment’s notice.”

  Becky put her hands over her head and pretended to fly out the door.

  “Friend by day… girl wonder by night,” Jessica heard as Becky raced down the hall.

  Chapter Twenty-six

  Mmmmm, that wonderful smell of a bustling department store. Everyone else but Jessica seemed to be drinking it in like the nectar of the gods.

  Jessica however, stood at the threshold with Becky on her right and Katie on her left; flanking her as if scared she would turn tail and run. Granted, Jessica thought to herself, it had been a while since she had shopped in a department store for herself. But was that any reason to treat her like such a baby?

  She clung to her backpack stuffed with practically her whole closet. Okay, she thought, preparing herself for the next few hours. So what’s the worst that can happen?

  I might not look good in anything. According to her friends though, nothing would look worse than what had been hanging in her closet. Jessica glanced down at her faded blue jeans and sagging sweater and cringed.

  I might find lots of stuff I like but can’t afford to buy. This was a much more real possibility than the first, but Jessica knew she had to trust Katie in this. As usual Katie looked perfectly put together in tailored camel slacks and a soft cream sweater. Earlier that morning she had gone through Jessica’s closet pulling out pieces which were still usable. She had promised that she could make sense out of her wardrobe within the budget Jessica had laid out.

  And that in itself was a novelty to Jessica, since she had never made a budget for clothes in her life. When Katie had made a shopping list for them, Jessica had tried to argue about adding shoes and belts to it, pointing out the perfectly good shoes she had in her closet. But Katie had taken one look, picked up two pairs of shoes and proceeded to promptly throw them into Jessica’s garbage bin. Later, when Jessica snuck over to retrieve them Katie had glared at her, stomped down the hallway and thrown them down the garbage chute.

  Jessica frowned, still mad about that; those had been her favorite pair. Ok, so maybe they were a little bit worn, but they were comfortable.

  Not realizing she had spoken aloud she heard Becky turn to her and say, “What Jess?”

  “Nothing,” Jessica mumbled and scuffed her toe on the ground.

  “Well ladies, this is it.” The look of glee on her face worried Jess. She looked a bit manic.

  “Where should we start Katie,” Becky eyed Jess with a gleam, “the top or bottom?”

  Katie looked over at Jessica and then checked her list as Becky continued. “I swear if I have to see her in that sweater for one minute more I may throw-up.”

  “Oh, ha, ha Becky. I thought you were along for moral support,” Jessica said.

  “I am. And on my own moral principles I can’t let you wear that sweater any longer.”

  And with that she started to drag Jessica by the arm towards a table filled with sweaters. Jessica started laughing and Katie followed silently behind checking their list one last time before she, too, got caught up in the excitement of looking through piles of clothes.

  “This isn’t so bad,” Jessica admitted grudgingly an hour later as she sat in the dressing room and tried on one outfit after another.

  Becky raised her eyebrows.

  “Okay. You’re right. It’s kinda fun.”

  After an initial search, her job was to stay in the dressing room and keep trying things on while Becky played runner. Katie was systematically going through her list and sending back pieces which Jessica imagined met some criteria she herself had yet to decipher. Becky wouldn’t let her look at any of the price tags, and slowly the pile of possibilities grew.

  Jessica never once had to deal with a snooty sales person; which was just fine with her since she was usually too embarrassed to ask for what she wanted anyway. On the other hand, Katie was in her element, with not one, but two salespeople running all over the store locating items for her.

  “Um, Becky, where did this scarf come from?” Jessica asked at one point. She was starting to wonder what exactly was happening outside of the dressing room.

  Becky rolled her eyes and said, “Believe me, you don’t want to know. Katie has half the store running around trying to help her.” She smirked a bit. “You know Katie. She’s acting like it’s their privilege or something to bring her that $5.00 scarf you have in your hand. Oops, I forgot; no prices. But in this case, can you believe what a bargain that is?” Becky giggled giddily.

  Jessica really looked at the scarf this time. Well, she wasn’t big on scarves, and could never figure out how to get them tied properly. But she had to admit, this one was lovely. She ran it through her fingers, feeling it glide with a whispered shush. Maybe Katie would be able to show her some ways to tie it. She placed it softly on the ‘possible’ pile.

  It felt like they had been there for hours when Katie came back to check on progress. In her arms she carried a shawl that was an icy blue color. It had a little bit of fringe and seemed like it would be warm and sort of cuddly. Jessica didn’t even think as she reached out to take it from Katie’s hands. She laid it around her shoulders where it contrasted gently with the crisp white blouse she had on. Rubbing her cheek on it, Jessica turned to face the mirror. She stared at herself in awe.

  The tailored black pants made her appear skinny, even after her binge the night before. With the collar up on her shirt the shawl fit neatly around her shoulders and added the right hint of color to an otherwise conservative outfit. She loved the way the sleeves on the blouse ended just below her elbows in stiff cuffs. It would be a great shirt to wear when helping Katie cater parties.

  She caught Katie’s and Becky’s stares in the mirror and suddenly wanted to throw her arms around them. She knew she didn’t need to say thank you or explain the unexpected mist of tears in her eyes. That was what best friends were for.

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  Jessica was ready to stop while she was ahead, but she soon realized that Katie had just begun. After lunch at the department store Katie dragged Jessica and Becky to a trendy area called Coolidge Corner. The consignment stores were lined up on one side of the street and every type of food imaginable was on the other.

  After the tiny salad Jessica had eaten for lunch, the smell of Thai food pulled at her. Becky saw the way she turned her head and yanked her behind them again.

  “Come on Jess… this way. We’re not done yet.”

  Jessica looked hesitantly at the store window where the stood. It was a kaleidoscope of colors.

  “Are you sure about this Katie? I can’t imagine finding anything in there.”

  There was a retro plastic mannequin wearing a multi-colored velvet vest over a light blue silk blouse. A scarf with little bells on the bottom hung around the neck and a hat was placed over the top of the neck where the head would normally be. Even Becky looked at the window skeptically. But Katie reassured both of them with a wave of her hand.

  “No, no. I know what it looks like from the outside. But trust me. I shop here all the time. The best stuff is in the back.”

  “I don’t know who does that window,” Katie muttered. “But they obviously have no sense of style.” With that she opened the door and breezed through.

  Jessica and Becky f
ollowed behind her less certainly and were greeted with the musty smell of too many clothes in too small of a space. Apparently not deterred by this at all, Katie wound her way through racks hung with every imaginable piece of clothing. Coats, sweaters, pants, even lingerie were presented haphazardly, making a chaotic collage of textures and colors. As if drawn by a magnet, though, Katie stopped right in front of a rack which seemed less full than the rest. Next to it sat display cases filled to overflowing with jewelry.

  Katie began pulling jackets off of the rack and holding them up to Jessica. Purple, green, yellow with red stripes, there seemed to be no logic to the random styles that Katie was trying. Becky, drawn in by one of the jackets Katie had discarded, started undressing so she could try it on. Wow, Jessica thought as she looked at Becky. Who knew that weird lime green jacket would look so great on anyone?

  Seemingly content with her selections, Katie next started looking through a rack of skirts; short, long and everything in between. Jessica noticed that with only a few exceptions Katie at least appeared to be focusing on summer season clothing. The jackets were all light fabrics- cotton, linen and silk. While the skirts had cute little slits and buttons which would be fun, airy and maybe, a little bit sexy.

  Katie, who had been a whirlwind of activity to this point slowed down and started looking each piece over as if she were sewing it herself. Laying each item out on top of the display case she ran her hands over the material, examined and pulled at seams, zipped and unzipped closures and turned it inside out to do the same thing. Finally satisfied with five jackets and three skirts, she walked up to the register. Before Jessica even had a chance to get a word in Katie had offered the sales clerk forty dollars for whole pile.

  Jessica was mortified. What was she doing? Why didn’t she look at the prices? She looked over at Becky to see if she was concerned at all, but instead she saw Becky rushing up to include her jacket in the pile as well.