Phoenix

by Crouch, Janie

  His backpack hit the ground with a thump as he left it by the door and crossed to her. “Then what, Wildfire? I’ve been over this from every possible angle in my head. A month and a half ago when we met in Paris, we were fine. Three weeks ago when we talked on the phone for five hours while you were repainting your kitchen, we were fine.”

  She nodded. Oh God. How was she going to get out of this?

  He took another step closer. “And then something changed. I don’t know what. I don’t know why. You started ghosting me. Barely a word, barely a text. Just enough to keep me from panicking.”

  She grimaced and took a step back from him. He was too close. And he was too right. That was exactly what she’d done: talked to him just enough to make sure he didn’t send everybody he knew in Oak Creek to check on her.

  She shook her head. “I know it may be difficult to believe this, but sometimes people just change. Grow apart. Maybe a relationship with the great Phoenix just wasn’t what I wanted anymore. That’s allowed, you know.”

  He was on her with the speed of the world-class athlete he was. Not in anger. She never had to worry about anything like that from him. His eyes searched her expression. He wanted to see her face clearly in the dim light.

  Ascertain if she was telling the truth.

  Damn it.

  “Are you allowed to get tired of me? Yes.” His pulse pounded in his jaw. “Are you allowed to get frustrated and resentful of this life I lead? Yes. Are you allowed to decide you’re too good for me and you want something better? Hell yes.”

  He stepped forward and she stepped back, realizing she’d made another strategic error when her back hit the wall. Riley’s hands moved to either side of her head, caging her in.

  All she could smell was him. All she could feel was the heat radiating from his body. She clenched her hands into fists at her sides to stop herself from touching him.

  It was a physical pain. It seemed like everything in her genetic makeup screamed it was wrong to hold herself back from him.

  She turned her head to the side, unable to look at him without touching him. Without breaking down and telling him everything.

  “Do you just not love me anymore, Wildfire? Is that what this is?”

  She barely bit back her whimper as he leaned forward and trailed his nose across her jaw, breathing in her scent.

  She couldn’t stop the shudder as one of his hands dropped from the wall by her head and trailed down the side of her throat. He knew her too well.

  “I should go.” The words were hoarse and tight coming out of her mouth. One last, desperate attempt at sanity.

  His lips found her throat. “Should you? Should you go?”

  He wasn’t holding her there in any way. The only place his body was touching hers was his lips on her neck. All she had to do was put any effort whatsoever into moving away and he would let her go.

  Move, Riley. Just move.

  She didn’t.

  It was like she was rooted in place by a force beyond her control.

  His lips made their way back and forth across her throat. “Of course, I definitely think you should stay.”

  His lips worked their way up to hers, stealing any words she might’ve said. The kiss sent electricity coursing through every part of her.

  It had always been like this, always a ridiculous level of heat between them. From the moment they’d met, they’d never been successful at keeping their hands off each other if they were anywhere close.

  Not that they’d ever tried.

  His body moved up against hers as he deepened the kiss, pushing her back against the wall.

  He rocked against her, his hand moving up to cup her breast, thumb and finger pinching the already tightened peak.

  He knew exactly how to touch her to make her come apart. Quickly, slowly, whichever way he wanted.

  It wasn’t fair.

  And it was exactly what she wanted.

  She helped as he slid the thin jacket she’d worn over her scrubs off her shoulders, and it pooled on the floor at their feet.

  His lips moved back to her neck, nipping this time, and her head fell back against the wall. When his fingers slid inside the elastic waist of her scrubs—damn them for being such easy access—and pressed inside her, she groaned. He bit at that place where her neck met her shoulder and she couldn’t control her squirming, pressing up against him. Needing.

  “Doesn’t seem like all of you wants to leave me behind.”

  His deep voice only turned her on more. She grabbed him by the hair and pulled his lips from her neck up to hers. “Shut up, Phoenix.”

  She’d always loved his confidence. He could be so damn cocky, but she loved that too.

  She couldn’t wait any longer. She reached down for the buckle of his pants, feeling better when he let out a groan of his own as she wrapped her fingers around him. It had always gone both ways, this need they had for each other.

  She tucked her face into his neck as his fingers worked her higher.

  “Fuck, Wildfire. I want to be inside you. Are you still on the pill?”

  “Yes,” she said immediately.

  Yes to it all. She slid his jeans down, freeing him as he yanked one of the legs of her scrubs down over her shoes, then slid them and her underwear until they were hanging off one leg.

  It was unlikely anyone would come in here, especially where they were, in the back of the facility. But taking off all their clothes wasn’t an option. Not that either of them needed it. They might not even care if someone walked in on them.

  His hand moved back to her breast, pinching her nipple just to the point of pain. She gasped, twisting closer to him, returning the favor by yanking his lips back to hers and giving the bottom one a stinging bite before soothing the slight hurt with her tongue. Now it was his turn to squirm as the breath shuddered out of him.

  His fingers slid back to her core, curving in that way only he knew how, leaving her gasping for air and thrusting up against his hand. When he moved his fingers away, she couldn’t stop the whimper that fell from her lips.

  But it was only so he could reach around the back of her thigh and hike her leg up higher, positioning her where he wanted her against the wall. She hooked her legs around his hips, almost desperate to have him inside her.

  He didn’t make her wait. They both groaned as he slid inside her, filling her. Everything about it was so right. Had always been so right.

  She slid her arms around his shoulders and held on as he drove them both higher. Her nails clawed into his back through his shirt as she gave herself over to him, over to the primal rhythm of their lovemaking.

  It wasn’t long before orgasm crashed over her, drowning her in sensation. A few seconds later he followed, calling out her name in a moan before thrusting one last time and slumping against her.

  For a few moments, her brain was free of everything. All she could feel was the two of them breathing in unison, everything at peace, her body at rest in the knowledge that she was in Riley’s arms, where she belonged.

  After weeks apart, the first times were always like this, almost manic in their desperation to be near each other. But now would come the slow and long and easy—

  Like a rubber band snapping against her skin, reality came crashing back.

  There would be no slow and long and easy this time.

  There shouldn’t have been anything at all.

  She slapped at his shoulder. “Let me down.”

  “Wildfire.” He didn’t move.

  “I mean it, Riley. Let me down.”

  She could feel the panic bubbling up inside of her. She needed to get away. He was going to want to talk now, and nothing had changed.

  The only thing that had changed was he’d proved she still wanted him.

  He backed away just enough for her to disengage their bodies and scoot over to the side to pull her underwear and pants back on.

  “Wildfire, we need to talk.”

  She looked up to find him b
uttoning his jeans. “We really don’t. This doesn’t change anything.”

  She grabbed her jacket from the floor and kept herself pressed up against the wall.

  She had to get out of here. If he touched her now, pressed her for the truth, she was going to crumble. She couldn’t do that. Not to him. Not to herself.

  A sob was choking up from deep inside of her. A scream. It had been there since she’d gotten her diagnosis, but she’d kept it buried inside.

  She couldn’t let it out now.

  “Wildfire, talk to me. Whatever it is, we’ll work it out together.”

  She pulled her jacket up to her chest and held it in front of her like a shield. “Not this time,” she whispered. “Not all bad guys can be fought.”

  “What does that mean?”

  What the heck was she doing? Being cryptic was just going to make him more concerned and curious, not less. She needed to make this cut as clean as possible.

  She straightened, cleared her throat, and dropped the jacket to her side. “You shouldn’t have come here, Riley. Yeah, the breakup sex was great, but that’s over now. You need to leave. You know you have no interest in doing this race again. You’re here because of us.”

  She pushed away from the wall. She had to show strength now. Any sign of fragility was going to have him trying to play protector. She slipped her arms into the sleeves of her jacket. “We’re done, Riley. It’s that simple.”

  “And if I don’t accept that?”

  “Sorry to tell you, you don’t get a choice. You shouldn’t be here. There’s nothing left for you to win. So just go. Make it easier on both of us.”

  Without giving him a chance to respond, she turned and walked out the door.

  Chapter 5

  Her contagious laughter rang out through the entire camp. An animated, rowdy guffaw that ended with an adorable little snort.

  Phoenix knew where the laugh was coming from without even having to look. But he looked anyway.

  He wanted to look.

  The young nurse with his same name. Although somehow Riley sounded infinitely more sexy attached to her than it did to him

  He’d seen her every day in the four days since the race started, but they’d only been able to talk to each other in passing. She’d been busy assisting the older doctor in treating any injuries the Wild Wyoming Adventure Race participants had received.

  Phoenix had never been so disappointed to not be injured in his life.

  The cut he’d gotten on his arm today pulling a kayak out of the river definitely wasn’t something he’d normally bother a medical professional about—barely more than a scratch.

  But since the sexy nurse with the striking pink hair and I-love-life laugh wasn’t currently examining someone else, he thought now would be a good time to show her his mortal wound.

  As Phoenix, he’d parachuted out of airplanes, SCUBA dived with sharks circling around him, and snowboarded in the pristine snow of the Alps in areas only reachable by helicopter. None of those things stole his breath like the sight of the impish grin on this woman’s face as she glanced up at him from her perch on the picnic table as he approached.

  “Hi, I’m—”

  “Phoenix,” she completed for him. “I think everyone here knows who you are.”

  It was one of the few times he wished his recent YouTube escapades hadn’t made him somewhat of a celebrity. But then again, without those he wouldn’t be in this race.

  Wouldn’t be here with her.

  “Phoenix is just a nickname. I’m Riley Harrison.”

  She held out her hand. “Riley Wilde.”

  He took her hand in his but didn’t shake it. Just held it, eternally grateful when she didn’t pull away and stare at him like he was some sort of creep.

  Just let her hand rest in his.

  “Everybody’s already calling us Boy Riley and Girl Riley,” he said, thumb stroking over the back of her hand.

  “I guess that’s better than other possibilities. Short Riley and Tall Riley. Crazy Riley and Nurse Riley.”

  “Beautiful Riley and the Riley Who Won’t Leave Her Alone.”

  Her smile got even bigger. “This is the first time we’ve even really talked.”

  “I didn’t want to bother you. You’re working, treating the injured racers. I know that’s important.” He stroked her soft skin again, then let go of her hand. “Actually, that’s why I came over. I almost mortally wounded myself today with a kayak.”

  Her hazel eyes grew serious, and she sat up straighter. “Why didn’t you tell me you were hurt? Want me to grab Dr. Lewis? I’m just here shadowing him so I can take over medical supervision of the race next year.”

  “Actually, do you mind looking at my injury? I trust your medical opinion. But I’m afraid I might need an amputation.”

  He slid up his sleeve and held out his forearm to show her the tiny scratch.

  She laughed softly—a sound he was becoming addicted to pretty damn quickly. “Wow. It’s amazing you made it back to camp of your own volition with a wound this serious.”

  Her fingers slid over the scratch and their eyes met. “I’m very brave,” he said, somehow able to keep a straight face.

  Her smile.

  God. Her smile.

  “You are very brave, Phoenix.” She stroked his arm again. It was the most decidedly sexual, non-sexual thing he’d ever experienced, and he wished there weren’t dozens of people walking around them everywhere.

  “I need a nickname for you. I can’t call you Girl Riley.” She let go of his arm, but only to reach down into the medical kit next to her and pull out a small adhesive bandage and begin taking it from its wrapper. “Do you have a middle name?”

  “Nope. My mom and dad couldn’t agree on one—one of the ten thousand things they couldn’t agree on before they finally divorced—so I’m just Riley Wilde.” She put the bandage over his tiny scrape.

  He caught her hand again. She didn’t pull away again. “Alright, Wilde, I’m going to call you Wildfire. Seems perfect for you.”

  She smiled, shaking her head. “You don’t even know me.”

  “I know enough. I know I want to know more.”

  She actually blushed a little at that, rubbing her cheek against her shoulder, while still peering up at him. “Don’t you have a race to concentrate on, Phoenix? I hear you’re doing really well. Everyone is surprised a non-Special Forces guy is at the front of the pack. It’s always been someone from Linear Tactical who has won.”

  “Not this year. I’m going to win.”

  Her smile grew. “Is that so?”

  “If I win, will you go out with me, Wildfire?”

  Dr. Lewis stuck his head out from the medical RV and called her name. Riley dropped her hand and she stood.

  “Yes, I’ll go out with you if you win, Phoenix.”

  He winked at her. “Good. Because I’m going to.”

  She grabbed the medical kit and turned towards the RV. “But I’ve got a secret.”

  “What’s that?”

  She glanced at him over shoulder, pink hair hiding part of her face, but not her smile. “I’ll go out with you either way.”

  * * *

  Riley flew six feet before hitting the ground with a thud—dirt ground covered in about three inches of water. Just enough to cover half his body with mud, something he’d be wearing the rest of the fucking day now.

  His shoulder took the brunt of the fall—certainly not anywhere close to the worst injury he’d ever had. But one that could’ve been completely avoided.

  “Watch it there, Phoenix.” Bo Gonzales snickered but didn’t look down at Riley from his perch on the two-inch-wide balance beam over the pit of mud Riley had just fallen into. “I’d hate to see you break an arm on the first day and be out of the race. How embarrassing.”

  Riley swallowed his curse and ignored the man as Bo continued forward on the beam. Riley tracked back through the mud so he could make his way out of the pit and start the balancing ele
ment again.

  He and Bo had been friendly, and occasionally not-so-friendly, rivals for years. Generally speaking, Bo was always a step, or second, or meter behind Riley in everything.

  But not today.

  Riley was completely unfocused, and Bo was right. If he didn’t get his head in the game, he was going to end up with a broken bone and out of the race.

  And how pathetic was it that the first thought that came to mind was that if he broke a bone, he’d get to talk to Girl Riley again?

  He had no idea what had happened yesterday.

  The sex had been amazing. Of course, the sex always was. For three years, he’d been waiting for their lovemaking to become routine or ordinary, but it never had.

  Yesterday in the Linear training facility, after enough blood had returned to his brain for him to form a coherent thought, he’d hoped that the amazing sex they’d just shared meant they could work out whatever was going on.

  He took Riley’s concerns seriously. She wasn’t flighty or petty. She didn’t make up drama in order to manipulate people around her. His girl was strong and independent and decisive.

  She’d ended their relationship for a reason. He wanted to know what that reason was.

  He’d thought he had a chance. In that moment after sex, when all they could feel was each other, he’d thought they could talk it out. Work it out. He loved feeling her so soft and content in his arms. Wanted to keep her that way forever.

  He’d wanted to hear whatever she had to say. Maybe they were starting a new path together.

  He knew he’d been wrong the moment she stiffened. The reconciliation he’d been hoping for was gone. She’d been back to angry and hard and distant.

  There was something—something important—he didn’t understand.

  She’d told him to leave, but Riley had never been great at following directions. Especially not when it came to leaving behind the woman loved.

  So as soon as she’d left—all but running out of the training building—he’d done the exact opposite of what she’d demanded and registered himself for the race.