Phoenix

by Crouch, Janie

  This race was designed to push athletes to their limits physically and mentally. Riley definitely had an added handicap by having to deal with their emotional fallout also.

  It would’ve been so much easier for both of them if he’d left like she’d told him to.

  She just needed this race to be over so that she could get away from him and try to keep the MS from him. That was so hard when all she wanted to do was lean into his strength.

  “What’s that sigh all about?”

  She turned to find Bo standing behind her. “Just trying to keep all you crazy racers in one piece.”

  “I’m sorry about the shit today with Phoenix. Truly. This race is hard enough without having a breakdown during one of your best events. I’m sure he’s frustrated. Anybody would be.”

  “I’m concerned about him, just like I’m concerned about you all.”

  “Okay. Right.” Bo looked sympathetic, though incredulous too.

  “How about you? How’s the body holding up?”

  “Some cuts and scrapes like everyone, but I’m feeling great overall.” She looked him over. He had a couple of cuts on his palms as well as some scrapes and bruises from getting up and down to the kayak yesterday. He had stiffness in his shoulder from the obstacle course that might give him some discomfort over the next couple of days, but she was sure he would ignore that.

  These athletes would ignore almost everything until the race was over. Her job was to make sure there was nothing wrong with them that couldn’t afford to be ignored. Bo didn’t seem to have any of those worries.

  She slapped him on the back. “Looks like you’re in pretty good shape, just where you want to be halfway through this race. How are you feeling mentally?”

  Unless someone showed obvious signs of mental deterioration, she wouldn’t really be judging anyone’s emotional stability, but it never hurt to give somebody a chance to express themselves.

  Bo shot her a beaming smile. “I feel great. This is really my year. I’m going to win.” He grimaced. “I guess I shouldn’t say that to you.”

  He was so enthusiastic about winning it was hard not to be caught up in it. “No, it’s fine. Really. For more reasons than one.”

  “I’m sorry about you and Phoenix.” Bo shrugged. “I’m not good at interpersonal communication stuff. But, you know, I’m sorry.”

  Coming from the big guy, it was a sweet gesture. “Thank you.”

  “If you want to talk about it or anything…” He shrugged awkwardly. “Now, or even after the race sometime.”

  He touched her on the arm. It was all she could do not to flinch and jerk away. Nothing about the touch was inappropriate, but she still didn’t want it.

  She was never going to date Bo. She didn’t want to date anybody in the adventure sport world if it wasn’t Riley. She didn’t want to date anybody at all if it wasn’t Riley. She wasn’t sure that would ever change.

  “Can I see you in the medical RV for a couple minutes?”

  She jerked at the sound of Boy Riley’s voice behind her. As she turned, she caught sight of Bo’s sly little grin.

  Fucker. He’d been using her to poke at Riley. These guys would do anything to win.

  “You really are bad at this interpersonal shit,” she murmured.

  Bo ignored her, his attention now on Riley. “Glad you finally made it in, Phoenix. Sorry to hear about your missing box trouble. I was offering Girl Riley here a shoulder, or more, if she was ready to level up in her love game.”

  Oh, this guy was about to need a lot more medical attention than she’d be able to give him. “Watch it, Gonzales,” she murmured.

  “It’s okay,” Bo said, actually stepping closer to her as if both she and Boy Riley weren’t about to kill him. “You guys are broken up. You’re free to do what you want. If you want a better man—a winner—nobody would blame you. Looks like Phoenix is going to lose the girl and the race all in one year.”

  Boy Riley’s eyes narrowed and he took a step closer.

  Shit. Bo was pushing all Riley’s buttons on purpose, trying to start a fight. Once Riley lost his temper, there would be no stopping his fists.

  That would be another penalty at best, complete disqualification at worst.

  “Riley—” she started.

  He took a step closer, his eyes on Bo. She held an arm out toward him and he glanced at her. The tiny smile he gave her—the one they used to communicate with each other that everything was okay—warmed her heart in a way she didn’t want to think about.

  It also meant he wasn’t going to let Bo goad him into anything. Phoenix was in complete control of himself.

  When Boy Riley’s gaze fell back to Bo, all traces of warmth disappeared. He continued walking forward until he was right up in Bo’s face.

  “One,” Riley poked him in the chest, “Girl Riley is way too good for me, which makes her ten times too good for you. So you can touch her all you want. She’s perfectly capable of breaking your fingers herself.”

  Had her heart been warmed by his smile? That was nothing compared to how his words made her feel now.

  Because she damn well was capable of breaking the fingers of any man who touched her without her permission.

  “Two,” Riley lowered his voice so nobody but the three of them could hear, “that’s a nice dirt stain on your knee, BoGo. Funny how your knee got muddy in today’s events. Only one knee got dirty.”

  She had no idea what Riley was talking about.

  But evidently Bo did.

  “You can’t prove anything.”

  “Can’t prove what?” she asked.

  Neither man answered her, attention caught on each other.

  “Plus, we’re in a race that has us all filthy,” Bo continued. “How the hell am I supposed to know how my knee got dirty?”

  Boy Riley reached up and brushed an imaginary piece of lint off Bo’s shoulder. He leaned in closer. “You should’ve opened with that argument, Gonzales.”

  Bo grimaced.

  “What is going on?” she demanded. Whatever was happening between these two guys, she didn’t understand it.

  “Nothing. Bo was just leaving, weren’t you, buddy?” Riley turned to her. “And I need you to look at my hands.”

  Bo stomped off without another word. She turned her glare on Riley. “What just happened?”

  “Gonzales decided to up the game. I was just letting him know I’m up for the challenge.”

  She narrowed her eyes. She still didn’t understand what was going on.

  Before she could even ask him what was wrong with his hands, he was moving toward the RV. She had to hurry to catch up with him.

  “Hey, are you okay?” she asked as he reached the steps leading up to the RV door. “Zac said the box was there. I don’t understand that. And your hands are hurt? What’s going on?”

  She looked down at his hand. The knuckles were bloody.

  “Inside.” He reached for the door, leaving her to follow behind.

  Alarmed by his tone and everything that had just happened with Bo, she immediately followed. The door closed behind her.

  “Riley.” She slapped him on the back. “What the fuck is going on—”

  The breath left her body in a huff as she found herself slammed up against the door, her body trapped by his, his lips pressed hard against hers.

  “Tell me to stop,” he said against her lips. “Tell me I’m hurting you physically or emotionally, and I swear I’ll back away. But God, Wildfire, I can’t stand to see another man touching you. Not Bo, not anyone.”

  She should stop this. She knew she should stop this, but everything about it felt so good. Everything about his body fit so perfectly against hers. Everything he was doing was what she needed.

  “No, don’t stop. It doesn’t change anything about our situation, but don’t stop.”

  He was dragging her jacket off before she even finished her sentence. She did the same to his, trying to take care of his fingers, but he wouldn’t let
her.

  “What happened to your fingers?”

  “Lost a fight with a tree.”

  The race was really wearing on him. “Riley.” She pushed him back until he was against the bench seat and lowered himself to sit.

  She climbed onto him, straddling his hips. He hooked a hand around the back of her neck to bring her in for another hard kiss, but she resisted, threading her fingers into his hair behind his ears and rubbing her thumbs down his temple so she could look into those brown eyes. “Riley.”

  She could almost feel the adrenaline buzzing through him. He pulled away and nipped down her jaw. She didn’t mind being his outlet, she’d been his outlet for this on more than one occasion, but she wanted to make sure he was all right. “Phoenix. Hey.”

  She closed her hands around his cheeks, holding him still. He closed his eyes, then leaned his forehead against hers. “I’m sorry. What am I doing? This isn’t fair to you.”

  “I’m okay. It’s you I’m worried about.”

  “Shit. Zac was right.”

  His face was so agonized. She ran her thumbs over his wrinkled forehead. “Right about what?”

  “I’m hurting you.”

  She ground her hips down against his. “Trust me. Nothing about this hurts.” He shook his head but didn’t turn away when she brought her lips in to kiss him. “It’s okay, Phoenix. I want you.”

  She wanted him now more than ever. She’d regret it, but she wanted him.

  He wanted her too. The evidence was rocking up against her, driving her crazy. “Kiss me, Phoenix. Make me burn.”

  He let out a strangled groan, and she knew she’d won.

  His lips fell on hers with a ferocity that left her gasping. His hands locked around her shoulders and pulled her tighter against him. When his lips fell to her neck, she let out a sigh. Whatever price she ended up paying for this would be worth it. But at the small sound, he stopped. His hands fell away from her hips and his lips moved from her throat.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I know that sound.”

  “What sound?”

  “Resignation.”

  She cupped his cheeks. “Riley, I want you. You are not coercing me in any way.”

  “But you also know you’re going to be paying a price for it later.”

  She sat, staring at him. He knew her too well.

  “I don’t know what’s going on with you, Wildfire. I don’t know what it is you won’t share with me. But I’ll be damned if I’m going to add to whatever weight it is you’re carrying. I love you too much for that.”

  He took her weight at the hips and gently moved her until she was sitting next to him on the bench, then stood up.

  “What about you? Are you okay?”

  He stopped but he didn’t turn around. “Honestly, no. I haven’t been okay since you called a week ago and ended my world as I know it.”

  Without another word he walked out the door.

  Chapter 13

  Day four of the race involved no backpacks.

  The packs were all getting lighter each day as the athletes ate more and more of their food, but today the packs were left in the camp since the fifteen-mile course would end with rappelling and climbing.

  Fifteen miles was still a long way to go, the terrain as rough as yesterday, their bodies more worn down.

  But Riley was focused. There would be no more stopping and flirting with Wildfire. Last night’s kiss had singed him, but Zac’s words were a constant echo in his head.

  Something was hurting her. Something was making her afraid.

  And somehow, it was tied to him.

  He didn’t love her any less, but he needed to regroup and decide the best way to approach this whole situation with her. The direct approach wasn’t always the most effective. Spending time with a bunch of former Special Forces soldiers had taught him that. It was true in war.

  It was true in love also.

  In this case, those things were the same.

  He’d had coffee with her again at dawn this morning, again not saying anything, just needing to be close. He’d asked her if she would come watch him during the rappelling today. She’d said she would try.

  He was going to shove the entire situation out of his head today as he pushed his body hard. Winning with Wildfire might have to wait. But he was damned well determined to win this race. Whoever had messed with his puzzle box yesterday had just cemented it.

  It was time to stop screwing around. Phoenix was about to rise.

  Running without the backpack felt so much easier. Riley pushed, the miles melting away as he focused on nothing more than the next step in front of him. By midafternoon, he’d made it to the cliffside where the rappelling would take place, the route having looped them back around so they were about a mile and a half from camp.

  The climbing and rapelling were set up in multiple stations. Just like with the kayaking, there were safer routes that weren’t as technically difficult but were longer. The less experienced athletes would go with those.

  Riley didn’t even slow down as he passed them on his way up to the more dangerous rappelling stations. Most of the elite athletes would do the same.

  There were three separate rappelling stations set up at the top of the cliff. Only one person could be on one rappelling line at a time, so if all three were taken when you arrived, you just had to wait.

  Everyone had to rappel down the cliff, move over to the sides, and climb back up again in an area more suitable for climbing, then rappel back down before running back to camp.

  There were two people already in the process of climbing back up. The one near the top was definitely Bo. The other near the bottom was slower, maybe Baby. Somebody else was on one of the easier rappelling lines, moving pretty slowly. Looked like Iceland.

  Riley didn’t waste any more time. He got into the rappelling harness and strapped himself in. Less than five minutes after he’d arrived at the edge of the cliff, he was making his way down.

  Riley didn’t play it safe, but Zac had chosen a location that didn’t make the rappelling easy. Some of it required horizontal jumps, and the trickiest parts required participants to move both down and to the side at the same time.

  None of it fazed Riley. He was laughing out loud and had passed Iceland by the time he reached the canyon floor.

  Iceland wasn’t mad, just waved him on. It was going to take the other man a while.

  Riley unhooked himself from the rappelling line at the bottom and ran over to the climbing area. Bo was already near the top. Catching him would be hard, probably impossible. Baby was halfway up. Riley might very well catch him if not in the climb, then back on the second rappel. There was no way Baby was as fast as him on that.

  The climbing was treacherous and free solo for the first fifteen feet to a ledge, meaning the athletes had no safety ropes to catch them if they fell. That was one of the challenges of the harder section. A fall from fifteen feet wasn’t going to kill you, but it might knock you out of the race for good. In the easier section there would be no free solo climbing at all.

  As he ran over, a flash from the top of the cliff wall caught his eye. Based on the location, it looked like Wildfire had kept her word to come watch him.

  That just made him move faster and with more purpose.

  He’d never needed to impress her with athletic feats before, but damned if he didn’t want to today.

  He studied the cliff wall for a couple moments, determining the best route. Once he had a clear path in his mind, he didn’t hesitate.

  All thoughts of everything, even Wildfire, disappeared from his mind as he focused on the climb. If he’d thought the rappelling route was treacherous, this climbing route put it to shame.

  Keeping the path he’d established clear in his mind, he began to move. His muscles, which had already been used to run more than thirty miles in the past three days, including the equivalent of a half marathon today, made their abuse known as he pushed himself to fly up the
vertical wall.

  This wasn’t like the rock-climbing walls in gyms with nice little manmade hand- and footholds. This was a canyon wall carved out by Mother Nature, who damn well had not planned on having anyone climb it.

  His legs were screaming by the time he reached the fifteen-foot marker and hooked his harness into the safety ropes. The safety restraints were a bare minimum. All they were going to do was stop someone from plummeting to their death. There was enough give in the rope to allow the climber to choose which route he or she wanted.

  Which also meant there was enough slack to allow the climber to fall far enough to break an arm or leg before the rope caught.

  Heights had never been a problem for Riley—he wouldn’t have made it far in his career if they had been. Normally, he enjoyed climbing and made sure to take time to appreciate the view around him as he climbed.

  Not today. Today he focused, pushing his body harder and harder.

  He caught up with Baby just as he made it to the top.

  “How’s it going, Bollinger?” Riley smiled at his friend. “You’re hanging pretty tough with the big boys today.”

  “Thanks, man. I’m a little slower than I want to be. Stomach upset issues. Four days of MREs aren’t sitting well with my digestive system.”

  Riley chuckled. He understood that crazy. He’d spent many a race ducking behind bushes in ways nobody would ever want to know about. “That’s never pretty.”

  “Believe me, I just want to make it up this cliffside without embarrassing myself.”

  “Suffice it to say, I’m glad I’m next to you rather than below you. But you’re making good time, digestive issues considered.”

  Baby shot him one of his famous grins. “Having a brother like Finn and living in this area all my life means I’ve definitely done my share of rock climbing and rappelling. I may spend most of my time in the garage, but I love climbing. Picking out the angles to get me where I need to go the quickest? That’s my kind of brain-work right there.”

  Riley stretched to reach the next handhold. “Are you sure you dropped out of high school? You’re talking about some pretty advanced geometry.”