RockMySenses

by Lisa Carlisle

  “Would I—be able to change?” I asked with a mix of horror and curiosity.

  “You haven’t yet, so I’d think not. You should talk to Papa to learn more. He can tell you far more about the family’s history than I can.”

  After we ate, my father called my grandparents to let them know the situation. He hung up the phone. “Ready to have your mind blown?” His mouth twitched with a grin.

  “It already has been,” I answered in a wry tone.

  I drove the three of us to my grandparents who lived twenty minutes inland. I put on NPR while we drove to listen to the news rather than talk the entire way. I needed a break after what I’d heard and I was anxious as to what else in my family’s history would be revealed. Despite all this new information crowding my mind, I thought of Allana. So much had happened since she left that morning. The revelations about my life created an even deeper chasm between us. She didn’t think we were compatible now. What would she think if she found out I was part gargoyle?

  She’d already made it clear she wanted nothing to do with me. It was time to let her go and move on with my life. And I had a feeling it was about to become even more fucked up.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Allana

  “I don’t understand why you’re not coming.” Lily and I were discussing the details for the grand opening of my studio in her living room. Memories of flirting with Mike on New Year’s Eve before we’d kissed flooded over me, but I forced them aside. With all that had happened, it seemed as if years had passed.

  “I can’t do it that day,” she replied, averting her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

  “Why not?”

  “Um,” she hesitated. “Just change the date and I can be there.”

  “Why can’t you tell me what you’re doing?” Lily had always guarded her privacy, but I wasn’t going to let it go this time, not without a reasonable excuse. “It’s obviously not one of your monthly New Hampshire trips.”

  She paused for a long moment, her eyes flickering as they searched my face. “It is.”

  “But you don’t work there anymore,” I protested. “Why would you need to take a business trip up there?”

  “It’s not business,” she clarified. She breathed in exhaled with a sigh. “I have something to tell you because I consider you my closest friend and I don’t like keeping things from you. But you must promise to have an open mind about it and not freak out.”

  I replied with caution. “Okay, I promise.”

  “Nobody knows this except my mom, Nico, and a couple of other people.”

  My curiosity piqued. “What is it?”

  Lily clutched her hands in her lap and wrung them. “You know when you told me about Mike and the gargoyle?”

  “Yeah,” I replied. “What does that have to do with you?” And why did she have to bring up Mike? As if I hadn’t thought about him every damn day.

  “It doesn’t, except it helps me explain my story. I’ve learned to be open to the possibility of other types of creatures like that.”

  “Like gargoyles?” I squinted at her. What the hell was she talking about?

  “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  “Because there are beings out there who can transform into other forms. Who live in hiding because humans would fear them and likely hunt them down.”

  “You know this how?” I raised my eyebrows with skepticism.

  “I am one.”

  “Wow.” I jumped up. “What?”

  “Please sit down and let me explain.”

  I hesitated before I sat back down.

  “I’m human, Ally, but I’m also something else. My father was a shapeshifter.”

  “What the fuck is a shapeshifter?” I didn’t like the sound of that word and my confusion spun into fear.

  “It’s a being who can transform from one form to another.”

  I touched my forehead and closed my eyes for a moment. “And you’re saying you can do this?”

  She blinked twice. “Yes.”

  I narrowed my eyes, not entirely sure she wasn’t pulling my leg. “And what do you transform into?”

  “A mountain lion.” She answered without skipping a beat. Her expression softened like a weight had been lifted off her.

  “Ha ha, you’re funny, Lily. Thanks for messing with me.”

  “I knew you wouldn’t believe me. Nico didn’t either. I finally built up the nerve to show him and it freaked him out. I don’t want that to happen with you. But I don’t know any other way to show you it’s the truth.”

  “Are you saying you can transform into a mountain lion?” My eyebrows rose to such heights, I could feel the strain on my forehead.

  “Yes.”

  “Well, you’re right. I think you’re fucking crazy. I don’t know why you’re messing with me because it’s not funny.”

  “I’m not messing with you.” Her tone was dead serious.

  I’d humor her so we could get on with the joke, laugh about it and get back to planning the opening. “Okay, fine. Show me.”

  “Promise you won’t freak out.”

  “I won’t.” Because it’s not going to happen.

  But something did happen. Lily stripped off her clothes without any self-consciousness.

  “Why are you taking off your clothes?”

  “So I don’t ruin them when I change.”

  “Oh, naturally,” I snarked.

  While I tried to look anywhere but at her naked body, it caught my attention. Lily’s body was changing. I watched in amazement as she collapsed to all fours. The air around her seemed to shimmer with energy and tawny fur burst from her skin. Her eyes took on a feline appearance and the rest of her face followed. A tail elongated behind her and her entire body was now covered in fur. Her hands and feet morphed and widened into paws with sharp, threatening claws.

  She was no longer a woman. A mountain lion stared at me in the middle of her living room. I gaped at it. Then adrenaline took over. I screamed and searched for a way out. The animal blocked the exit out of the living room so I ran into the bathroom and slammed the door shut. My heart pounded in my ears and I fumbled locking the door, praying it was sturdy enough to resist an attack by a four-legged animal with sharp teeth and claws.

  I searched my pocket to find my phone so I could call 9-1-1. Fuck, I must have left it on the kitchen counter.

  How would I explain how a mountain lion ended up in my living room anyway? Let alone how it was once the body of my friend.

  “Ally, I’m me again. Let me in.” Lily knocked on the door and she spoke. In her human voice.

  I closed my eyes and wondered if I just imagined the whole thing.

  “Go away,” I shouted.

  “You promised you wouldn’t freak out.”

  I did promise. And I’d totally freaked. “You’re not going to rip my throat out or anything?”

  “Of course not. It’s me. It’s always been me. You know I’d never hurt you.”

  I opened the door an inch, peeking out with caution. She appeared human again. “You’re naked,” I said.

  “You didn’t give me a chance to get dressed.”

  “Oh.”

  “I’m going to get dressed. Take a minute and come out. I’ll explain everything.”

  It took a couple of minutes, or maybe twenty, before I gathered enough gumption to head back out and face my friend.

  “You okay?” she said when she spotted me.

  “I think so.”

  “Sit,” she said.

  I took a few steps toward her, keeping my eyes fixed on her.

  “Stop looking at me like I’m going to pounce on you,” she said.

  I sat down in the arm chair, the farthest seat possible from her.

  “Really, Ally. You insult me. As if anything has changed between us. I’m still me. I’m not going to attack you.”

  My mouth dropped. “Everything has changed between us. Because you are—a—”

  “A shifter. That’s all that
’s different. I can change from human to a mountain lion. It’s not that horrible.”

  “That’s huge, Lily. Unbelievably huge.”

  “I know it takes a while to get used to, but please remember I’m still the woman you’ve known. I’m still your friend.”

  She was right. I promised to have an open mind and I hadn’t been doing a good job of it so far. “Okay, I’m ready to hear this story. Spill.”

  “My father died before I was born so I don’t know much about him, but from what my mom discovered he must have been a shifter. He always disappeared during the full moon, which was something I had to start doing once I hit puberty and went through the change.”

  “What change exactly?”

  “Besides the horrors of puberty, the horror of discovering you turn into an animal during the full moon and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.”

  “Get out of here, Lily. That’s crazy. It’s fiction. It doesn’t happen in real life.”

  “Then how do you explain what just happened out here?”

  I opened my mouth to explain, but closed it when I realized I had nothing.

  My mind raced to fill in some pieces. “Let me guess, there’s a full moon on Saturday?”

  “Yes.” Lily smiled.

  I blinked rapidly. “So the guy I’d been sleeping with heard he’s part gargoyle and my best friend changes into a mountain lion.” I threw my hands up. “And I’m just a little old girl who thought I had a normal life. Guess that idea’s blown.”

  “It’s not that bad, Ally. I’m still me. Mike is still Mike. We are still the same people you know even if there’s a part of us you don’t understand.”

  I didn’t know how to process this now, or if I ever would, so I changed the subject. “I guess this means I’m changing the date of the opening because you have to be there.”

  Somebody else would still be missing. Someone who’d help me set up a sweet sound system in my studio and a computer system that shaved hours of time from paperwork. I swallowed when I realized how much I wanted him there.

  Mike should be there.

  I thought about calling him, seeing if we could patch things up.

  No, it was a warning sign. It blew up now before it exploded with far worse repercussion down the road.

  Mike

  “So you know who you truly are, yes?” My grandfather patted me on the back. He had a twinkle in his eye as if he’d been waiting for this moment a long time.

  We moved into the living room. The familiar, worn brocade wallpaper and floral couches with lace doilies my grandmother had sewn seemed comforting, even though everything I’d known about my grandparents was now upturned. My grandfather sat on his worn brown recliner while Dad, Mom and I squeezed onto the couch.

  “If you mean, have I heard about the gargoyle bloodline, yes,” I responded. “But actually, I’ve never been less sure of who I am in my life.”

  For a man in his seventies, I noticed how young and spry he seemed. I always chalked it up to him having good genes, but maybe there was more to it.

  “It’s time you hear the whole story then,” he said.

  My grandmother brought us tea and cookies, the way she always did when anyone stopped by. This was one occasion where I had no appetite.

  “You know where I was born, but my childhood was one you wouldn’t recognize.” He leaned back in his chair while I leaned forward. “Gargoyles tend to live apart from human society, yet watch over it. As children, we are taught by the elders and when we come into adulthood, we move out into the world, take posts where we can protect others. You see, we are different from humans, but we feel compelled to protect them as well as other beings. As the watchers and protectors on Earth, we find posts where we can observe. From stone.”

  “Stone? You were once in stone?”

  “I am stone,” he corrected. “Always. Only now I spend most of my time in human form.”

  I glanced down at the coffee table. My parents hadn’t touched their tea or cookies either. “I saw a man transform into a beast.”

  “Not a beast.” He raised his index finger. “A gargoyle.”

  “I’m sorry, Papa.” I shook my head. “I just can’t wrap my head around this.”

  “Of course not. You were raised as a human. But your gargoyle side has been developing, no?”

  My grandfather had a way of asking questions that ended in yes and no and I found one of his endearing qualities.

  After I nodded, he asked, “Has anything happened recently that would trigger this change?”

  A jumble of confused thoughts swirled through my head, fixing on the night at Vamps when I saw Allana and Nike backstage. “This all started when I was at a club. Two women were—um, kissing—and that’s when I saw this guy Danton.” My entire family seemed to have ceased breathing, all eyes fixed on me. “He did some strange gesture, like trying to erase what I had seen, and then when it didn’t work, he seemed surprised. He’s the one who later told me he was a gargoyle and asked about my family.”

  “Ah, yes. Some gargoyles are able to modify memories so they’re muddled, but it’s only to be done under extreme circumstances. What happened that he didn’t want you to see?”

  I pictured the scene again with Allana, one that had replayed in my mind dozens of times. It both turned me on and then infuriated me to think of Allana being attacked. “I thought two women were kissing, but one bit the other on the neck.”

  “Like a vampire?”

  “Yes, but vampires aren’t real.”

  Papa smirked. “Did you think gargoyles were real a month ago?”

  “No, but…” It dawned on me that Allana might have been bitten by a real vampire and I bolted out of my chair, quivering with rage.

  “What is it, Michael?”

  “She bit my girl.” No, not my girl. Allana made it clear that she didn’t want that role in my life.

  “Who did?”

  “That woman.” My mind reeled with emotions. That’s why Danton was trying to keep the women apart. He knew she was a vampire attacking Allana.

  “Tell me about this girl,” he said.

  “I can’t right now. I have to go.”

  I had to find Danton.

  Allana

  When I entered the studio early the morning of the opening, I breathed a sigh of relief. It was all coming together. Something that had started out as just the spark of an idea was turning into a reality, bit by bit. A part of me wondered if this was all a dream. An exhilarating, wonderful and often terrifying dream.

  I put the placard outside to remind passersby that today was the grand opening.

  Stop by for some fun and prizes!

  In all the days that had passed, there was no word from Mike. Each time my phone buzzed, I hoped it was him so we could make things right between us, but apparently I’d pissed him off enough he was done with me. Served me right.

  So many times I thought of calling him. With all the help he’d given me, I should invite him to the opening at the very least. Each time I picked up the phone to call, I hung up. What the heck would I say?

  I had much to keep me busy as a distraction. Besides finishing up my final days at the gym with all the goodbyes that went along with it, and dropping plugs about my new venture, Lily and I had been promoting the heck out of the opening. Well, mostly Lily. I answered her questions and she ran off to the papers, posted online and so on. I owed her so much.

  I logged onto the program Mike had set up for me. He was right. I could do so much more and be more efficient using this one system than all my paper files and other software. The software was designed specifically for yoga studios and it had been tested and refined by many businesses over the years, so it almost anticipated anything I could want it to offer. I reviewed the few clients from the gym who had already signed up for classes. Also, I reviewed the class schedule and tested to make sure I could add new sales if I had any today.

  Lily had suggested an opening day special where visitors coul
d have a vast discount if they signed up on the spot. It took a few tries to figure out how to make this adjustment in the system as it kept tallying the regular price. Between this issue and the several other I encountered while trying to learn the ins and outs of the software, I grew frustrated. Since I wasn’t a computer person, there was a definite learning curve and I spend many minutes searching through their help or calling to speak to their support team. It would’ve been easier to call Mike. He could have helped me out in two minutes flat. How many times I fantasized about calling him, having him help me through my issue, and then thanking him in a physical way. Maybe starting it off with a little strip tease.

  But it was too late. Too much time had passed and the distance between us seemed to grow with each passing day. I doubt he even wanted to speak to me at this point.

  In time, I figured out how to work with the system enough to make it help me save time and not waste it trying to do simple tasks. Mike would have been proud.

  A couple of hours later, Lily showed up with helium balloons printed with my logo, which she let free all over the studio. She tied many to the placard out front. Damn, she knew how to draw attention. I doubt anyone would drive by without noticing.

  “You sure we don’t need one of those inflatable figures swaying around in the wind,” I teased.

  “Ooh, that’s a good idea. We could arrange it in a yoga position. That would garner plenty of second glances.”

  “Thank you, Lily,” I said. “I couldn’t have done this without you.”

  “Nonsense. Of course you could. You’re just better with me. Just like I’m better with you.” She grinned.

  I laughed. “We’re a good team. I’m glad I scheduled the opening on a day you could be here.”

  “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” She smirked and added, “Except a full moon.”

  The rest of the day went by in a whirlwind. While my fear was that nobody would show, foreshadowing an inevitable end to this whole idea of a studio, the opposite happened. Many attendees of my yoga and Pilates classes stopped by to wish me well and some even signed up for classes. Besides that, tons of strangers walked in. Some were in the neighborhood and noticed the eye-catching balloons. Others saw newspaper ads and announcements and many read about the grand opening on social media. Lily was stellar at getting the word out online. She purchased social media ads, which weren’t that expensive, but more so used the power of word of mouth. She had raffles for free classes for those who spread word about our page, especially the opening.