The Many and the One

by Donald Wells

  Simone leans back in her seat. None of this makes sense.

  * * *

  An hour later, Lindsay finds Simone at her door, they stand looking at each other as the hum of the streetlights accentuates the uncomfortable silence.

  “I guess you’ve talked to Jason?”

  “Yes, can I come in?”

  Lindsay sighs. “Sure,”

  After greeting Lindsay’s parents, Simone follows her to her room. Lindsay sits on an unmade bed, while Simone stands in the doorway.

  “Go ahead, curse me out for hurting Jason, I deserve it. I’ve been bored with him for a while but I kept stringing him along. I’m too young to be in love. I don’t understand why Jason loves me anyway. I’m not special, although, he makes me feel special, but Jason’s put me on a pedestal, he sees me as something I’m not. We’ve never even had a fight, that’s not natural is it?”

  As she talks, Lindsay picks up a doll from atop her bed. Simone notes that the doll is old, possibly even Lindsay’s first toy.

  “He spent years waiting for me to notice him, even when he and Katie McCall were going out I knew she was just a substitute for me, hell Katie and I could be sisters we look so much alike, he’s got his whole life ahead of him and he wants to spend it with me it’s stupid because of me Jason almost went to prison and he—”

  “Lindsay!” Simone says, cutting her off.

  Lindsay pauses and takes a breath. She’d been talking faster and faster, her voice pitching higher.

  “I’m not giving you a chance to talk am I? You don’t have to say anything, I know our friendship’s over. You can’t be my friend and Jason’s too, not with Paul and Jason being so close and all, I understand, plus you two have more in common, you both come from money. Your father’s a doctor, mine’s a claims adjuster, everyone on the island makes more money than my father, at least, that’s what my mom says.

  “Derek’s mother, Charlotte, I once overheard her telling Derek I was white trash. She and I got into such a fight over that, but sometimes… I think maybe she was right, and Jason’s family, they’re like royalty on this island. My God Simone, they own that construction business, their house in town, and that cabin, God that fantastic cabin.”

  Here, she pauses. Simone sees the tears running down Lindsay’s face and opens her mouth to speak, but Lindsay starts up again.

  “Jason is so beautiful; he could replace me in a heartbeat. Do you know he’s loved me since we were children? He’s loved me through the braces and the acne. He loved me even before I had these tits. Men notice me because of these, men always notice the dumb blonde with big tits.”

  Lindsay stops and wipes away tears; she then stares at the doll cradled in her arms.

  Simone shakes her head, shocked by her friend’s self-deprecating remarks.

  “Lindsay you’re not dumb and you’re not white trash, you’re my friend and you’re very talented, I’ve read your writing. Oh, and as for Charlotte Stern, I heard she grew up in a trailer in Florida. And honey I know you don’t want to see other guys, you love Jason so much it hurts, you only broke up with him out of guilt. What I can’t figure out is why you’re so guilty. Jason understands why you had the abortion, there’s no reason to feel guilty over that and—”

  Lindsay looks up, and as their eyes meet, Simone sees the truth.

  “Oh, now it makes sense.”

  “What makes sense?”

  “You didn’t have an abortion, did you?”

  Lindsay opens her mouth to lie, then instead asks, “How do you know that?”

  “I don’t know how I know. Just now when you looked at me, I could see it in your eyes.”

  “Damn it! I didn’t want anyone to know.”

  “How did you think you were going to keep this hidden?”

  “I’m leaving the island. I’m staying with my Aunt Patty until the baby comes and then, then I’m giving it up for adoption. I couldn’t have the abortion. She’s Jason’s, I can tell.”

  Simone walks over and sits beside Lindsay on the bed.

  “You could give up your child?”

  “Simone, I let Jason go, that was the hardest thing I’ll ever do. This is all for the best. You know Jason, if he knew I was carrying his baby he’d forget college and start supporting us by working some job he’d hate. This way, the baby will be in a good home somewhere and Jason will be in college and… with someone else.”

  “But you’ll both be miserable. Jason doesn’t want anyone else, and college or no college you know how talented Jason is; he’ll have a career as an artist. You two can work this out.”

  “It’s too late. I’ll be leaving for my aunt’s house in Delaware next Saturday, I’ll finish school there, I can’t do it here I may be showing by June. Jason can’t know about this.”

  “Lindsay this is so wrong.”

  “Promise me you won’t say anything to Jason, you swear to me, I mean it.”

  “No, Jason has to know about this.”

  Lindsay grabs Simone by the arm. “Promise me. This is my choice, not yours and not Jason’s. Promise me!”

  Simone looks tortured, finally she says. “All right I promise, but promise me you’ll think this over again, please?”

  Lindsay’s face contorts as she collapses back onto the bed, crying in despair. “I’ve thought of nothing else since I realized I was pregnant.”

  Simone sighs. “Oh, why the hell did I promise when I know it’s wrong?” She glances about the room and sees Lindsay’s stuffed animals staring back, their eyes seem accusing.

  * * *

  Paul has taken Jason out for drinks at the Island’s most famous bar, The Wave. In the summer, the bar is packed to overflowing by its popular attractions: its twenty-five cent beer and the teeny-weeny bikini contest it holds on the beach daily. But now, in April, the bar chiefly caters to the Island’s regular customers.

  Jason looks out the window and can just make out the ancient lighthouse in the distance, and above it, a bare sliver of moon.

  “Simone asked me to make sure that you don’t get drunk.” Paul says.

  Jason drains his third rum and coke. “I hope you didn’t agree to that.”

  “I didn’t.” Paul says.

  At the bar, two girls leave their stools and approach the booth, the shorter one slides in next to Jason, while her companion, a leggy blonde in a short pink skirt, settles in next to Paul.

  The girl at Jason’s side tells him. “I’ll really be hurt if you don’t remember me.”

  “Hello Rita, you’d be hard for me to forget, believe me.”

  “Jason, she looks like the girl in the pictures, is she the one you sketched?” Paul asks.

  “Yes.” Jason says, he then asks Rita. “What brings you to the Island?”

  “I told you I was going to check it out someday; I was hoping to run into you, by the way, that’s Vicky sitting next to your friend.”

  “Nice to meet you Vicky, that’s Paul, I’m Jason.”

  Vicky turns to Paul and smiles, looking him over.

  Rita looks around. “So, do I get to meet the much talked about Lindsay tonight?”

  “No.” Jason says, and speaks volumes with a single word.

  “Oops,” Rita says. “Why don’t we talk about something else?”

  Vicky smiles at Paul. “That’s a good idea; we’ll all get to know each other.”

  Rita explains that she and Vicky were headed to New York City earlier, but after seeing the exit sign for the Island, on impulse, they decided to check it out.

  Vicky seems pleased to have made Paul’s acquaintance, a fact she broadcasts by touching Paul frequently.

  Nine beers and six drinks later the foursome exits the bar, shortly after midnight, and bask in a strangely warm night air.

  Vicky wraps her arms about Paul’s waist and leans into him.

  Rita says. “You guys aren’t driving home tonight; you’ve had too much to drink.” She then points to the Sea View Motel on the other side of Atlantic Highway. �
��Vicky and I took rooms over there when we got to town, why don’t you walk us home?”

  At the motel, Rita takes Jason’s hand, as Vicky takes Paul’s. The two men share an inebriated look and then follow the women into their respective motel rooms.

  Inside the room, Jason sits on the bed as Rita turns the bedside lamp on, she then drapes a blue scarf over the lampshade and the room takes on a sapphire glow. She kisses Jason and he tastes the beer still lingering on her breath. As he positions her onto his lap, her small body radiates surprising heat and the sweet scent of her envelops him.

  They kiss with increasing fervor, until Rita has difficulty finding a level spot to sit on. Rita rubs Jason’s crotch, measuring through the fabric of his jeans and a small sigh of lust escapes her.

  She stands, and after unzipping her dress, lets it fall. She wears no bra and only a gossamer strip of red cloth hides her remaining treasure. Her petite body is superb, as Jason imagined it would be.

  They kiss again, as his hands explore her. Rita yanks his shirt over his head and caresses his chest. Jason stands and lifts her; he then places her on the bed and begins unbuckling his belt.

  She’s so beautiful, and yet, so different from Lindsay.

  And at the thought of her, the spell is broken. Oh Lindsay…

  Jason sits down heavily on the side of the bed as a soft moan escapes him.

  Rita gets up onto her knees and hugs him from behind. “I’m not the one you want to be with, am I Jason?”

  He sighs.

  Rita hugs him still, her erect nipples press into his back like two hot needles.

  “This can just be tonight. I, I don’t need more than that.”

  “I… think I do.” Jason says.

  Rita goes over to the closet and dons a robe, returning to the bed, she hands Jason his shirt.

  “Sleep here anyway, you shouldn’t be driving.”

  “I’ll walk home, it’s not far. Rita I…”

  Rita takes him by the hand. “Tonight was no accident. This is the third time since Thanksgiving that I’ve dragged poor Vicky to the island hoping to run into you. If things don’t work out with Lindsay, well, just remember you have somewhere to fall.”

  Jason squeezes Rita’s hand while gazing into her enormous green eyes.

  “I’ll remember.”

  As he leaves the motel, he casts a forlorn gaze at Vicky’s door and then crosses the highway to commence walking home. To his surprise, Paul is in front of the bar on a pay phone.

  Paul hangs up and gives Jason an abashed look.

  “That’s Simone; she’s coming to get us.”

  “What did you tell her?”

  “Only that we’re too drunk to drive. Listen, about Vicky, she was so hot and she was all over me, but I didn’t, couldn’t, do that to Simone. I must really be in love. What’s your excuse?”

  “Same reason, Lindsay,”

  “Jason she dumped you, you’re allowed.”

  “Allowed or not I couldn’t. Lindsay and I aren’t over Paul. I’ll get her back.”

  Paul pats Jason on the shoulder and carefully sits down on the curb, his long legs sticking out into the street. Behind him, the bar throbs from the jukebox and the murmur of intoxicated voices.

  Jason sits to Paul’s left and both men stare across at the motel. Jason turns and sees Paul wiping away a tear, his face glistening red from the neon of the bar.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I nearly lost Simone tonight. I drank like a fool and almost slept with that girl. I would’ve told her, you know? I would’ve felt so guilty afterward that I would’ve told Simone about it and begged her for forgiveness, and then she would’ve kicked my sorry ass to the curb.”

  Jason puts his arm around his friend. “Paul, your ass is on the curb.”

  Paul realizes where he’s sitting and laughs, as Jason laughs along.

  “What a couple of studs we are, huh?” Paul says.

  “Mothers lock up your daughters.” Jason says.

  They sit there on the curb making each other laugh until Simone arrives to pick them up.

  13

  Lindsay sits up in bed, with eyes red from crying. She holds a rectangular strip of four black and white photos, the type spit out by photo booths, pictures of her and Jason taken last fall, before.

  We look so happy. She places the photos face down atop her stomach. You were conceived in love baby. Somehow I want you to know that, you were conceived in love.

  She leaves the Island tomorrow, to hide the truth from Jason. News of their break-up had spread fast and she’d been fending off boys all week. Her friend Marcy also had the nerve to ask her if she could go after Jason, and what else could she say?

  “Go ahead Marcy, Jason and I are over.” She then watched as Marcy gave it her best shot at Jason’s locker and failed. Marcy batted her blue eyes at Jason and tossed about her long, brown hair to no avail.

  Poor Marcy, Jason looked at me from across the hall the whole time she was talking to him, looked at me with those sad eyes. His eyes were never sad before. I—

  The phone rings, for the third time in ten minutes, each time, silence on the other end.

  “Hello?”

  Nothing

  “Hello?”

  Still nothing

  “Jason, is that you?”

  Her only answer is the sound of someone hanging up. Lindsay places the phone back in its cradle and reaches for another tissue.

  Meanwhile, in the Beach Island Bar, Derek curses and leaves the phone booth.

  * * *

  Jason, Paul and Simone are in the cabin, talking and eating. Simone has been in agony over the past week about keeping her promise, as she watches Jason languish in despair.

  “Jason come to the movies with us tomorrow,” Paul says.

  “No, you’ve been babysitting me all week, thank you by the way, I don’t know how I’d do this without you two.”

  Paul says, “That’s what friends are for Little Brother.” as Simone squirms with guilt.

  The three are silent for a time. Paul starts on his fifth slice of pizza while Simone stares into the dormant fireplace, thinking. She looks over at Jason and sees him wiping away tears.

  Simone goes to him. “Oh Jason, I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s not Lindsay.” Jason says. “I was thinking about the baby. I, I could’ve been a good father, and I swear I don’t care if it was mine or Derek’s or the goddamn Easter Bunny’s. I would’ve loved that kid Simone; we could’ve been a family.”

  And now it’s Simone who cries, as Paul and Jason look on, confused. Paul goes to her and holds her, when she winds down she stares at Jason.

  “I have something to tell you.”

  * * *

  Saturday morning

  Lindsay places her bags by the front door and turns to find her mother frowning at her.

  “Are you sure about this? That boy loves you baby.”

  “I know mom. I’m doing this because I love him too.”

  “I wish I could drive you there. I don’t know why that damn car won’t start. If only your father didn’t have to work on Saturdays we could’ve taken his car.”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll be all right.”

  Lindsay spots the taxi outside. When the driver comes to the door she recognizes him. “Hi, you’re Paul’s brother aren’t you, Mike, right?”

  Mike is as tall as his younger brother but outweighs the lean Paul by twenty pounds, all of it muscle.

  “The last time I was here I helped Paul deliver a giant stuffed bear.”

  “Boomer,” Lindsay says wistfully, while fighting back tears.

  “I drive a hack to pay for college, makes my old man crazy that I won’t take his money. Say, where are you headed?”

  “The bus station in Harborton,”

  “Oh, well, I’ll take these bags, come out when you’re ready.”

  Lindsay says a tearful goodbye to her mother and gets in the cab. They leave The Squares and turn right o
nto Atlantic Highway, the few remaining boats in the marina glisten in the bright spring sun, as the ocean beyond shimmers like a blue mirage.

  As he drives, Mike prattles on about the business courses he’s taking and anything else that enters his mind.

  Lindsay sits quietly, thinking of Jason, not until they’re turning up Hills Road does she notice that they’re going the wrong way.

  “Mike, where the hell are you taking me?”

  “Don’t be mad at me, I’m just my brother’s pawn.”

  “You’re taking me to the cabin aren’t you? Damn it! Simone promised.”

  “When we get there I’ll wait until you tell me to leave, okay?”

  “Do I have a choice? We’re almost there.”

  Lindsay begins biting her nails, a habit she broke years ago. She then catches herself, and instead clasps her hands tightly together in her lap.

  Jason knows, he knows about the baby.

  As they make the left hand turn onto the property’s graveled driveway, she sees him and feels her stomach flutter, as her heart beats faster.

  Jason places his hands on his hips and sighs. “Simone told me everything; we need to talk. If you still want to go afterward I’ll drive you there myself, I promise.”

  “Promises aren’t worth much these days.”

  “Don’t be mad at Simone, she only told me because she cares.”

  Lindsay hesitates, but then tells Mike to leave her bags and go, when she tries to pay, she sees that the meter hasn’t been running. Mike sends Jason a thumbs up and drives away.

  “Let’s go inside.” Jason says.

  Lindsay strides past him and into the cabin, she sits on the sofa looking petulant, as Jason paces back and forth in front of her.

  Twice he stops and looks as if he’s about to talk, but then walks on. Finally he sits next to her and speaks.

  “You scheming bitch! How dare you try and decide my life for me.”

  Lindsay gasps and sits with open mouth and wide eyes.

  “You lied to me.” He says. “You didn’t have an abortion. You think it’s for you to decide what I do with my life. And don’t give me any shit about it maybe being Derek’s, it’s yours, and if it’s yours it’s mine.

  “You feel guilty about the rape and the pregnancy and I understand those feelings, but you’d better understand this: I love you no matter what, and those aren’t just words. I’ve been in hell this past week, and for nothing.”