The Many and the One

by Donald Wells

  Jennifer had been scrubbing the gunshot wound; the small puckered mark is still tender.

  Jennifer says, “I’m sorry.” and leans over and kisses it gently.

  Jason looks at her strangely and then takes the washcloth from her to clean his lower half.

  While he attends to that, Jennifer applies shampoo to his longer than usual hair and massages his scalp.

  After rinsing out the shampoo with the shower hose she stands and retrieves the pair of boxer shorts from the back of the bathroom door.

  She hands them to Jason along with a towel and walks just beyond the doorway to wait for him. Behind her, she hears him rising from the water, and then the gentle sounds of him drying off and dressing.

  Jason walks past her and into the bedroom. Jennifer reaches back to turn out the bathroom light and then follows him.

  He opens his closet and grabs a fresh shirt and a pair of pants. Jennifer takes them from him and puts them back.

  “Jennifer I have to change. I have to get back to Lindsay.”

  “Not tonight, tonight you’re sleeping in a bed, not a chair.”

  “But, Lindsay needs me.”

  “Jason, you need you. I want you to have at least one night of peace: a refreshing bath, a comfortable bed, and… the pleasures of a woman.”

  And with those words she removes her robe and tosses it aside. Shock crosses Jason’s face and he averts his eyes from her body.

  Jennifer reaches up and releases her magnificent mane of red hair; it cascades across her shoulders and down her back.

  “Put your robe back on.” Jason says.

  “No, I will not. I offer you myself tonight and for however many times you need me. I simply want you to feel something besides pain Jason. You are in so much pain. I love you deeply and I can’t bear to see you suffer. You need a release, a, a refuge from suffering.”

  She gently turns Jason’s head around until he’s looking at her again.

  “I am not your flesh any more than Lindsay is your flesh. I love you like a father, but you are not my father. You’re a man and I’m a woman. Make love to me. Make love to me and forget your pain. If only for one night, forget your pain.”

  Jennifer steps backward into moonlight, giving Jason the full view, and he takes it in completely.

  Her body is magnificent. Large firm breasts, so sizeable when juxtaposed with her flat, taut stomach, a sprinkle of delicate freckles draw attention to her nipples, which are now erect in the chilled night air.

  Her long legs are simply exquisite, and Jason knows that between them lies carnal ecstasy. It is a woman’s body made to be enjoyed by a man.

  Jason has always thought of the woman standing before him as a daughter. He has nurtured her and loved her as such for many years, but Jason Reynolds is a man, and within him dwells a primeval lust that has carried the human race forward for millennium untold. It is this lust he feels rise within him, as he gazes at the woman before him.

  * * *

  Jennifer watches his face and sees the change. He wants her. Of course he wants her, how much pain can the human soul stand until it rebels? This gentle man has suffered more in the last months than anyone should ever have to endure. Tonight she will lie with him and love him. Tonight she will not be the daughter. Tonight she will be the giver of pleasure, the absence of pain. Jennifer closes her eyes and awaits the start of passion.

  * * *

  Jason steps forward, and after taking her by the shoulders, he kisses her, his lips pressed firmly against her forehead.

  Jennifer opens her eyes and Jason smiles at her lovingly. He then reaches back to the foot of the bed and grabs a soft, white cotton blanket, this, he drapes gently across her shoulders, wrapping it about her nakedness.

  “Jennifer, there’s but one woman for me in the all the world and she lies in the cottage in a coma. You my love are my daughter, my sweet compassionate daughter and I love you.”

  Jennifer gives him a heartrending smile and a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. “Goodnight daddy,” She says, and turns to leave.

  She’s nearly out the door when he calls her back.

  “Jennifer?”

  She returns and looks up into his face. A look of sorrow envelops him and his bottom lip trembles as he speaks through gently falling tears.

  “Can I just hold you, please? You cannot imagine how much I miss simply holding someone I love.”

  Jennifer says nothing. She goes to him in her blanket-draped nakedness and falls into his arms.

  Jason hugs her intensely, after a time, he releases her and steps back to drop into the rocking chair beside the bed. Jennifer follows and lowers herself onto his lap and into his arms.

  Jason cradles her and begins to rock gently and steadily. Father and daughter rock in tender embrace against the pain of the night.

  Jennifer now cries her own gentle tears, but they are not tears of pain or sorrow, they are tears of understanding, for she now knows something the Marcy Cole’s of the world may never know or comprehend.

  Jason Reynolds loves far deeper and more powerfully than their simple physical lust for him could ever survive.

  He loves one woman, and he will forever and always love only one woman. And if she be comatose, vegetative, brain-damaged or dead, he, will still love Lindsay Parker Reynolds, and Lindsay Parker Reynolds alone, for all the earthly days of his life.

  Jennifer falls asleep, rocked in the arms of her father, and sleeps, the sleep of angels.

  51

  Jason awakens to the soft light of a fresh spring day, as a glance at the bedside clock tells him it is 6:28 a.m. He then looks down at Jennifer sleeping peacefully within his arms.

  She was willing to give herself to me just to ease my pain. But what of her pain? What would it have cost her to make love to me, a man she considers her father. I can’t even imagine the love and trust it must have taken. For months she’s had to take care of things around here alone. I shouldn’t have dumped everything on her. She’s little more than a child herself and suffering through her own loss of Lindsay. And Matt? He’s become just another talking face in Lindsay’s room, an annoyance that keeps me from focusing on her. Dear God what have I been doing to our children? Lindsay would be ashamed of me. I’ve been so wrapped up in my own selfish pain—that ends today.

  Jason leans over and kisses Jennifer playfully on the nose. “Wake up honey, it’s morning,”

  Jennifer’s eyes flicker, then she opens them. Disoriented by her position resting within his arms, she gives Jason a puzzled look.

  “We fell asleep in the rocker last night.” He tells her.

  “Oh,” Jennifer says, she then lets out a yawn. “Good morning daddy.”

  “Good morning baby, thank you for last night. I feel better, really.”

  Jennifer smiles weakly, while searching his face. “That was all I wanted for you, to ease your pain.”

  “We’d better get up before Matt wakes.” Jason tells her.

  Jennifer looks over at the clock with a start. “Oh, it’s time to get him up for school and make breakfast.”

  She climbs stiffly out of Jason’s lap and walks over to pick up her robe from the floor. After covering herself with the robe, she lets the blanket drop to the floor and cinches the robe closed. She looks back at Jason and sees that he’s covered his eyes with his hand.

  “You can look now, but I think it’s a little late for modesty.”

  Jason walks over and cinches her robe a little tighter.

  “I am still your father young lady.”

  Jennifer smiles up at him. “Forever and always daddy,”

  Jason grabs his own robe from the back of the closet door. “Why don’t you start breakfast while I wake up Matt.”

  “Really? Sure, yes, daddy please eat with us too, please?”

  “Yes I will, from now on. I’m sorry you’ve had to do everything alone baby, but daddy’s back now. I won’t let you two down ever again, Lindsay would not want that.”

&n
bsp; Jennifer rushes over and hugs him. “I love you, I’m so glad you’re okay.”

  “I love you too, so very much.”

  She releases him and heads for the door, then pauses.

  “About last night, I, I wasn’t trying to seduce you. I was trying to, to help you, does that make sense?”

  “I never felt you were seducing me, I understood your motivations, but I think you should talk to Dr. Jacobs about this.”

  “I will. I keep thinking how horrible it would be right now if we had actually—oh God, what was I thinking? We’d never be able to look each other in the eye again. And mom, what would I have said to mom?”

  Jennifer starts crying and Jason goes to her and takes her hands.

  “I blame myself for last night. Nothing that happened here was your fault. You’ve been under incredible pressure lately because of Lindsay’s condition and my foolish self-pity. You’ve come a long way, you haven’t had a nightmare in over a year and you express yourself instead of shutting down, don’t backslide now.”

  “But daddy I tried to…”

  “…Bring me comfort, relieve my suffering, you’ve done that. Don’t be hard on yourself, your method was wrong, your motive pure, all right?”

  Jennifer shakes her head in wonder. “Why do you and mom love me so much?”

  Jason wipes her tears away. “You complete us.”

  “You mean I make up for your losing Simona?”

  “Oh no baby, you were never a replacement, you were, and are, our miracle, God’s gift. It’s true you filled our hearts after Simona died, but the hole created by her death, that emptiness… is forever. Since the day we met, whenever you leave us, Lindsay and I both feel a void.

  “The years you were away were some of the worst of our lives, we missed you and worried for you every day, and when you returned, despite the circumstances, we were in heaven.”

  “I feel the same way, this cabin, you and mom, have always been home.” They hug, locked together for a time. When they part, Jennifer says. “I’ll go make breakfast.”

  “Hey, how about some pancakes? You know I love your pancakes.”

  Jennifer smiles brightly at him from the doorway. “I’ll stack them to the ceiling.” She then walks down the stairs, singing to herself.

  Jason smiles after her; next, he unlocks the connecting door and goes into his son’s room. Matt lies sleeping on his side and Jason leans over and kisses him on the cheek.

  Matt awakens and yawns, as he focuses on his father, a look of alarm comes onto his face, as he fears the worst.

  “Dad is mom all right?”

  Jason takes his son’s hand. “She’s fine Matt. I just wanted to get you up for school. I’ve missed you buddy.”

  “I’ve missed you too. I’ve missed you a lot.”

  “Your sister is making pancakes, so get dressed and I’ll see you downstairs.”

  “You’re really going to eat with us?”

  “Yes and I’ll drive you to school too, okay?”

  “Okay,” Matt says. “I, I love you dad.”

  Jason hugs him. “I love you too son, please don’t ever doubt that.”

  * * *

  This was the start of the new routine. Jason would awaken after sleeping in his own bed and shower, shave and get dressed.

  Afterward, he would wake up Matt and have breakfast with the kids. If a weekday, he’d drive Matt to school, while Jennifer sat with Lindsay. Upon returning home, he would read to Lindsay until it was time to pick up Matt.

  After having dinner with the kids he would go to the attic. With the cottage unavailable, Jennifer had transformed the attic into a temporary workspace. Jason would go there and take care of any chores, such as bill paying and correspondence. He would then return to Lindsay and read until bedtime.

  * * *

  Saturday May 17th, 2003, 9:15 a.m.

  Jason sits beside Lindsay’s bed in the cottage and reads to her from her 12th novel. He’s reading an exceptionally poignant chapter, involving the death of one of the main characters of the book.

  With a voice that sounds as if it has not spoken in a hundred and thirty-one days, Lindsay speaks.

  “That passage took me nine different drafts to write.”

  Jason stops reading and looks over at the face of his beloved wife. Looking back at him are the second bluest eyes he’s ever seen. She’s back. Lindsay has come back to him.

  “Boomer, why are you crying? Is something wrong?”

  Jason rises out of his chair and leans down to kiss her on the lips.

  “No honey, nothing’s wrong or could ever be wrong again.”

  * * *

  At the hospital, they give Lindsay a thorough going over. Mentally, she seems fine, although she has only scattered memories of the days after Christmas.

  Dr. Patel says she may exhibit odd behavior at times, but that overall she’s amazingly well cerebrally. Physically, she’ll need therapy; she’s also lost fourteen pounds.

  Jason lies beside Lindsay in her hospital bed, holding her. In her arms she hugs a new teddy bear, a gift from her father.

  She’s been told that Derek shot her, but of the incident she remembers nothing. Everyone else has gone home while Jason remains, refusing to budge from Lindsay’s side. He gazes at her as tears fill his eyes still, from intense feelings of relief at her awakening.

  “I love you and I have missed you so much.” He says.

  “I can’t believe it’s May, how bizarre, it’s like coming back from the dead.” Lindsay says.

  “Please don’t say that word, I nearly lost you.”

  “Jason, they look fine, but tell me really, how are the kids?”

  “There’ll be plenty of time for details later, just know that everything’s all right.”

  “Are you in any trouble? Did you… did you kill Derek?”

  “No, I was about to, but Bob… intervened.”

  “Where’s Derek now?”

  “Well, let me just say that he, Derek, will not be returning from the dead.”

  Lindsay looks shocked, and then she smiles.

  * * *

  She returns home as family and friends gather to tell her they love her deeply and have missed her fiercely. Marcy comes to see Lindsay and cries in her friend’s arms, genuinely happy to see Lindsay recovered.

  Jennifer thinks that maybe she judged Marcy too harshly, maybe.

  * * *

  On a warm night in June, Lindsay wakes in a panic.

  “Jason wake up, why is the door to the baby’s room closed? You know we have to leave it open so we can hear if Simona cries.” Jason awakens with a worried frown covering his face, but before he can respond, Lindsay says. “Simona died years ago, didn’t she?”

  “Yes honey.”

  “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

  “It’s okay, Dr. Patel said you might do or say strange things at times, they’ll pass. I’m not so sure this was even strange, I’ve awakened in the middle of the night myself thinking of her.”

  “I still miss her so much.”

  “Me too honey, me too.”

  Lindsay reaches over and turns her lamp on low; she then takes Jason by the hand.

  “When I was pregnant with Simona, I felt you within, as if you were always with me.”

  Jason stares at her. “Lindsay, the blood tests proved that I didn’t father her, remember?”

  “I remember and I’m not confused, but Jason, what I never told you is that I felt the exact same way when I was carrying Matt. If Derek was her father why would I feel that way?”

  “What are you saying, that you think the test was wrong?”

  “Yes, Marcy has been helping me look into it and we’ve uncovered some things. I think it’s possible that Derek or Charlotte fixed the results in their favor.”

  Jason looks stunned and brushes back his hair. “What can we do?”

  “We could have a DNA test done, but, to do that… we would have to exhume Simona.”

 
“No Lindsay! I won’t allow that, let her rest in peace.”

  “Honey I agree, it’s why I haven’t mentioned it to you before.”

  He gives her hand a squeeze. “This has been bothering you for a long time, hasn’t it?”

  “Yes, but I feel better now that I’ve talked to you about it, and I’m ready to let it go. I won’t desecrate her grave just to prove myself right. She was our daughter, yours and mine, and not all the DNA evidence in the world could make that any truer than it already is.”

  Jason leans over and kisses her. “I love you.”

  Lindsay cuddles up against him. “I love you too.”

  They then pass the night in talk and remembrance of Simona, while celebrating her life.

  * * *

  In August, former Police Chief Rollins divorces Kathy, and gains full custody of daughter Emma.

  Paul wins his first election for Chief of Police as Simone begins private practice.

  At Thanksgiving, Angie, David and thirteen-year-old Cole come home from Europe and are home to stay. David has taken an early retirement package from his company and he and Angie are now in the process of buying a bed and breakfast inn on the Island.

  Early in December, a letter arrives addressed to Jason, Lindsay and Jennifer. The envelope bears no postmark and was typed on an obviously old typewriter. Late at night, with Matt asleep, the three of them sit in front of the fireplace and open it.

  The letter inside was reportedly written by one Michael McGee. It reads:

  Greetings to you all from… well, greetings,

  Marta is fine and sends her regards. We were happy to learn that Derek finally got his and that Lindsay is well.

  I have information I’ve been holding onto for years as a bargaining chip in case I ever got caught. I will never be caught though, and with the kid dead, there seems to be no point in keeping it to myself.

  Besides, Marta says Jenny was always such a sweet girl and should know the truth, so here goes: Jenny is your real daughter, not Simona.

  Charlotte paid Lindsay’s obstetrician, the late Dr. Trent, to switch the babies. The doctor had a gambling problem and was in debt to a loan shark buddy of mine. Charlotte used that info to buy him.