Ms. Infinity (Book 1): Earth's Greatest Hero

by Kirschner, Andrew

  “At least about Denny,” said Maria.

  “Yeah,” said Nadine, “She’s all over him at least. We got that much.”

  Maria sighed as they returned to work. Denny would be removed, and they would not have to worry about him. Yet it seemed like the concerns of hers and Nadine’s were last on the list after all. That was a lesson long since learned; even after the promise of equality, some were still less equal than others.

  Yvonne was certainly taking the matter very seriously. She may or may not have sympathized with the workers whom he had wronged. Most likely she was not amused by his reckless frauds, and the charges of sexual harassment. Yet above all, she was looking out for her own survival, and not a moment too soon.

  Yvonne announced, “Dennis Hill, please come to the store manager’s office.” A moment later, her own phone rang.

  “This is security,” said the voice, “Denny can’t come because he’s here.”

  “Forget it!” shouted Yvonne, “He’d better stop hanging out there immediately! That is a direct order.”

  “He’s not hanging out here. He’s being detained.”

  As Yvonne entered security, Denny was sitting in a wooden chair looking humiliated. The guards were walking around making calls.

  “Alright,” said Yvonne, “First, to all here in security, don’t anyone go anywhere. You have a lot to answer for.”

  “Hi,” said one of the guards, “There’s something you should know. We didn’t know he was stealing. We just thought he was having the cameras turned off so he could do things like generate receipts when he wanted to fire someone.”

  “What?” said Yvonne, “When did this happen?”

  “Uh, I know there was today, with that Chinese girl…”

  “This is Queens. That doesn’t exactly narrow it down. Wait, today? You mean Lisa?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “The one in customer service? The short, thin girl?”

  “Oh yeah. Her.”

  Yvonne shot Denny a look of fury. “So that was fake!” she bellowed, “One of our best associates was given a major reprimand today for something she didn’t do? You faked the whole thing?”

  “Never mind that,” said Denny smugly, “You need me. You know Maria Lopez is going to use this to try and organize. You want to explain that to the company?”

  “I’ll take my chances with her. It beats having to explain you. Let’s get this over with.”

  She sat down next to Denny, then continued, “Last time I had one of these talks with you was last week, and it was because of a customer complaint that you were missing during a rush. Lisa Lin was on customer service then. Interesting, considering what has transpired since then. Well, that’s the least of your problems. This latest incident is apparently the tip of the iceberg. I have a long list of things to investigate with you. So I have good news and bad news for you…”

  “I know. The bad news is I’m fired…”

  “Well not exactly. Technically, right now you’re suspended without pay, but you’re right. There’s really is no way you’re keeping your job. But no, Mister Hill, that is the good news. The bad news for you is that you’re going to be prosecuted. What you did includes, at the very least, fraud, theft, and conspiracy, and there may also be charges of reckless endangerment. There may be other things too. We can’t let these things go without pressing charges.”

  “You can’t fire me or prosecute me, and you know it! You know I’m looking out for the store. Someone has to whip this place into shape. Nobody else can get discipline like I can.”

  “Forget it. That’s not going to fly. I’m not fooled by that line anymore. But you listen to this. You had better not try and leave town. That will only get you in much worse trouble. Goodbye, Mister Hill.”

  Yvonne stood up once again and addressed the rest of the room. “Now to security, I will be calling each of you individually into my office. None of you are to go anywhere until I have spoken to you.”

  She turned and left security and began to head towards her office. She looked ahead to a long night and much embarrassment and explanation.

  Lisa Lin would never again face Denis Hill. She could not deliver parting words, as Ms. Infinity had done with Misery. She had not the superhero’s privilege of safety in a final meeting, nor the ear of her enemy in words of compassion, nor perhaps even the luxury of ruminating much on the sad fortunes of one who had wronged her. Yet it may be said that Denny’s tale is tragic, as surely as his deeds were cruel and corrupt.

  The power structure in workplaces such as these often belies larger economic realities. Denny may have ranked above Lisa in the store’s pecking order. Yet he lacked the education, the skills, and the personal connections that Lisa, Hal, Betty, or Bonnie had in staking out a career path. And so it seemed all but certain that a position such as he now held would be the peak he attained for life. And yet many others live so without turning to corruption, and live honest and full lives.

  Yet somehow Denny could not or would not trust in the fortunes that he had. His aggression came from a crippling fear, a paranoia that was with him everywhere he went. And he would not trust another soul, not even those who would love him. And in his heart, he could not believe that anyone could act out of true decency. In his mind, every person was acting at all times from vindictive and corrupt motives, and would turn against him sooner rather than later. And in his paranoia, he drove away those who truly cared about him, for he brought pain and damage to anyone who was close to him. And when he was at last bereft of true friends, he was left with those who truly were his enemies, opportunists who knew all too well how to take advantage of the fear in a person’s heart. So it is with the fearful; the prophecy of paranoia brings its own fulfillment.

  It is not to be wondered that Bonnie Boring was so afraid of Denny. In knowing him, she was reminded of something deeply familiar, and endlessly disturbing, the father from whom she had once fled for her life in terror.

  25. The Journey Home

  Hal woke up in Bonnie’s bed alone, feeling like he had been sleeping for a long time. He stretched for a moment, then rose and washed up. Making his way outside, he looked for his love out in the atrium.

  “Bonnie!” he called.

  “At the bridge!”

  When he reached the bridge, he saw her, in the form of Ms. Infinity. They kissed. “Wonderful to see you, my love,” he said.

  “Wonderful to see you too,” said Ms. Infinity, “We are headed home. In fact, I have a surprise. We are already past “hyperspace,” the part with all the multidimensional maneuvers. I did something I should have thought the first time. I put you to sleep for it. It was my last kiss, you know.”

  Hal thought a moment, trying to remember. “Oh. Actually I’m not sure I remember the last kiss. You are a show off.”

  “Hey, I didn’t hear you complaining!”

  “No. You’re right. I do not complain. So it’s just the two of us now. Why don’t you change into Bonnie? No need to impress me now.”

  “Well, it’s all mindset. I’m working, in a matter of speaking, so it’s like work clothes. I prefer to be like this until we get home. “

  “I guess that’s your call. Listen, I should really shave before we go home. Do you have a razor?”

  “Hold on. I’ll make you one…” She concentrated a moment, then produced a pink, plastic razor out of the air.

  Hal looked at Ms. Infinity in awe. “You really are amazing! Look at this. You must have every superpower in the book.”

  “Oh, go on!”

  “One little thing, though. This is a woman’s razor.”

  “Oh, sorry. Force of habit.” She took it back, turned it blue, and returned it.

  “Much better. Thanks. I wanted to ask you something.”

  “I’ll come with you.”

  Ms. Infinity followed Hal through the atrium towards the bathroom. “So Bonnie,” said Hal, “I wanted to ask you about that video. Is it possible I could use it?”

/>   “The video?” said Ms. Infinity, “Why?”

  “Yeah, That’s something I never got to tell you. It’s my career. I have a communications degree, and I’m trying to become a TV reporter. So if I have a real live superhero battle…”

  “Honey, I’m sorry. No.”

  “What?”

  “Hal, I can’t let you show that video to anyone. The whole thing is secret, and has to remain that way.”

  “Well of course I’m not going to tell anyone who you really are. You see I figured I’d say that Ms. Infinity gave me a tip after that roof incident…”

  “No, honey. It’s not just that. The whole mission is secret. I can’t let anyone know that Earth was threatened. Think of the panic. These things are secret for a good reason.”

  “Oh.”

  “I’m sorry, honey. I’d hate for you to resent me for this. This is just how I have to operate sometimes. Once again, it’s part of being with me. I am sorry.”

  As Hal listened, he felt his heart sinking. For much of this mission, he had been nursing a hope that he might just save his career. His life for the last two years had been dominated by the frustration and disappointment surrounding his mounting failure, not to mention his consequential nonstop hours at The Big Box. To lose this hope was a bitter pill to swallow, not least because he was nearly killed making the video. Yet in a way, the hardest thing was the inescapable notion that equality was not exactly what it promised in this relationship; this wasn’t even the first reminder since he’d woken up. He would always have another hurdle, another hard reality in front of him. Bonnie was Bonnie; Ms. Infinity was not an easy person to be equal to.

  He thought about all that his father had said to him. Yet even then, the answers did not come as easily as he hoped. All he had was a collection of loving but conflicting advice. He stood there, a mess of emotions, helpless as ever to manage his own life. But then he looked her again. For all that was wrong, here was his love, and all that was right. “Yeah. It is much more than worth it.”

  “Thank you, my love. I will do all I can to make it up to you. But while we’re on the topic, you of course have to know the importance of my secret identity. I need my privacy. Without it I’d have to fly into deep space every single time I have to pee.”

  “Well Bonnie, I would hope that by now, you know that you can trust me. Of course I will never breathe a word to anyone.”

  “Right, I do know it, but I have to emphasize it. I’m afraid you have to be absolute about it. Not a word about it to anyone, even the people you’re closest to. You realize I haven’t even told Lisa, and she’s my best friend. You have to understand that once a secret is compromised, it can’t be recalled.”

  “Okay. Obviously it’s important. I also see that it is a big trust issue for you. But I wonder, just for curiosity’s sake, why haven’t you told Lisa? Look, it’s not my business. It’s between the two of you, and I would never interfere. But I do know that she really cares about you. If there is one person I would trust, it’s her.”

  “I almost want to yell ‘none of your business,’ but I get it. You are speaking out of concern. Just understand that I have my reasons. You wouldn’t even know if not for the incident on the roof.”

  “Oh,” said Hal in a wounded tone, “That’s a shame you feel that way. Do you regret it?”

  “No Hal. I certainly don’t.”

  “That’s a relief. I wouldn’t trade this for anything.”

  “Me too Hal. You do mean the world to me. It was definitely meant to be. But I have another concern. It is great we’re steady now. I just hope that things can stay like this when we’re not on Starship Infinity. Do you think we can still do this when it’s us again back on Earth, working together at The Big Box with everyone else looking on?”

  “Well, I know what you mean,” said Hal, “All this has a context to it. But it’s up to us, isn’t it? We have to decide to do the work on our relationship, right? It’s time to get serious about dating, go take in some movies, have dinner, talk about our interests, get in some give and take. It’s not guaranteed to succeed, but I have a good feeling.”

  “I hope so…”

  “Well Bonnie, I could use some optimism here.”

  “Yeah. I think you’re right.”

  “You know what? I just named what I miss here. Come back, Bonnie! Just change back into yourself already. Don’t be afraid. It’s me, and now you know I love you. You don’t have to act funny around me anymore.”

  “Hal, you heard what I just said.”

  “The mission’s over. It’s just us. Come on. All of this, the Ms. Infinity image, is great and exciting. But I want Bonnie Boring. It’s the woman I’m dating, not the image. C’mon Ms. Infinity, I’m begging you to release her.

  “Bonnie, look, It’s safe now. You must realize that. I love you, and I would never do anything to harm you. Please Bonnie…”

  “Alright! Alright!” shouted Ms. Infinity. She looked away for a moment, then looked back at Hal with an expression that seemed to convey either annoyance or fear. But as she looked at him, she became increasingly at ease. She soon smiled warmly. Then at last she metamorphosed into Bonnie Boring.

  “There,” she said, “I’m Bonnie now. Better?”

  “Much,” said Hal, “Kiss me already!”

  They kissed again. Hal then spoke just over a whisper, “You know something? You are absolutely beautiful.”

  “Thanks,” said Bonnie.

  “You know what I mean? I mean you, Bonnie, not her.”

  “Well, that’s kind of you to say, I guess.”

  “No Bonnie, I really mean it. She looks like a supermodel. So what? A model is just a model. But there is only one Bonnie Boring. Just looking at you now reminds me how much I love you. I want you like this next time.”

  “Next time what? Oh!”

  “’Next time what?’ That sounds like something I’d say. Now who’s the space cadet?”

  “I kiss better.”

  It had at first seemed fitting to Hal that his video news career might rest in the hands of his hero-turned-girlfriend. As with most of humanity, his first encounter with her had come via the media. Yet for him, this had been a profound moment.

  Some two years earlier, Hal returned home after finishing college. Upon his arrival, he discovered his home and family in disarray. In his absence, his parents’ marriage had begun to fall apart.

  The discovery was a devastating shock for him. His family had always seemed a rock of stability, one that he had long taken for granted. Now that bedrock was crumbling under his feet. Suddenly he could not even be home without constant reminders of the torment. If one of his parents was home, they would be shouting about the other. If both were home, they were alternately fighting loudly, or sitting in bitter silence, occupying the farthest corners of their apartment. Even when he was home without them, there was his sister in tears, telling him things a seven-year old girl should never be concerned about. And if he was alone, he was alone with his worries and uncertainty.

  On one such occasion, he turned on the news, hoping to take his mind off his troubles. Within seconds, he was blindsided by the story that was dominating the local stations. There was this beautiful young woman, apparently with magical powers, singlehandedly saving a school bus from a frightening accident on the Whitestone Bridge. It had somehow tripped the guardrail, and was about to fall. Under normal circumstances, the situation would have been a major tragedy, certainly involving numerous deaths. Yet this magical woman somehow arrived out of nowhere, then pulled it out of danger, and prevented even one death, or even any major injuries. Within a minute or two, the bus was on solid ground, and all children and staff were safe and accounted for. When pressed for information by a reporter, she told very little. She simply identified herself as “Ms. Infinity.” Then she quite literally flew away on camera.

  This was Bonnie’s first foray in that guise. Betty finally gave Bonnie her blessing after many long years, even though she found the
superhero idea frivolous. She made Bonnie promise that she would always use her powers responsibly, and that she would always remember to consider the power and importance of the people she was helping. If one thing convinced Betty that Bonnie was ready to use her powers in public, it was her recent job at The Big Box. Maybe it wasn’t a great job, but it was a job where she demonstrated genuine teamwork, and thus she showed that she could truly show respect for others. Betty had confirmed as much in quiet conversations with Lisa. The name Ms. Infinity may have sounded like a boast, but it was also for comfort. It was a way of holding a piece of her mother close by when she put herself in danger. Little did she realize that there would often be much more than a piece of Betty Boring nearby.

  Bonnie was actually much more nervous that day than she let on, part of the reason why she flew away so quickly. Of course, Hal was certainly too amazed to notice. He also had no idea that the woman he had just seen actually lived only a few blocks away. In fact, she had gone to the same high school, albeit two years ahead of him.

  Nonetheless the Ms. Infinity he knew from the media was a powerful symbol. She gave him something to hold on to at a time when he desperately needed it. Somewhere there was this powerful woman who represented good, an invincible and unstoppable force for those who needed her. That image was a shelter he took to in times of trouble, hope when he had no hope.

  The news media had always held a certain fascination for Hal He had always been aware of current events, and altogether more socially conscious than most others around him. Yet if he was honest, there was also something about the image of a TV reporter that appealed to his young mind. As his father had said, he had not really been thinking practically.

  His graduation out of the way, he sent many resumes out. Then many more resumes went out. On a very good week, he got a full written rejection. The rest of the time, he got no answer at all. He tried showing up to TV networks in person, but he could never get past the front desk. Eventually he got a four-month internship at a local cable network, but it led nowhere. He repeatedly called all the contacts he had made, to little avail; he now received no’s over the phone instead of by mail. The “demo reel” he had was of little use, basically the few seconds of on-camera time he’d had on the internship (none of which had actually aired) interspersed with his best student work.