Conviction: Devine

by Sidebottom, D H

  The guy who I had just served shouted something obscene when I walked away. I blew out a breath and rolled my eyes, creaking my neck at the impeding headache. My migraines had become a problem in the previous couple of weeks and I’d already had a day off work. I knew the approaching one was going to be a killer but I couldn’t ask for leave again; it was my first week.

  I popped another aspirin and gulped down some water before I slid out of the back door for my break. I sighed in relief as I lit a cigarette and inhaled the calming nicotine. I had the late shift, and the late hour brought lots of amorous couple to Wendy’s car park; the rear backed onto an open field. The smoke from my cigarette curled above me, fogging the light from the moon as I smirked to myself. The car hidden in the corner of the car park under the broken lamp rocked left and right, muffled moans filtering across the space.

  All of a sudden my heart hurt, reminiscing mine and Jake’s love making. I missed him so much. I hated him, and fuck, I wanted to hurt him badly but I couldn’t just cut off my feelings for him. He had been the only one in so long who had been able to penetrate my outer shield and break through to the inside of me. The only man who had the ability to hold my heart in his hand and cherish it. I grimaced, realising he had never actually cherished me. I’d just been a lay for him, a woman who had opened her legs easily and allowed him to get his release.

  I wanted to get drunk; raging drunk. Pulling out my phone, I texted Leah and Sophia, asking them to meet me at The Yard, a local nightclub, when my shift ended. They both replied with excitement, amazed I had asked them. For the last two weeks I’d locked myself away, and apart from work, I had refused any other contact with the outside world. Yet tonight I needed to let my mind loose and give it a reprieve from the constant thoughts and emotions.

  Maisie, one of the waitresses I worked with, smiled when she joined me for her break. “You doing okay?” she asked as she lit her own smoke and blew it dramatically into the night air. I nodded as I shivered with the chill that had descended with the darkness. She frowned and looked at me closely. “Hey, you look a little pale. You sure you’re okay?”

  Nodding again, I dropped my cigarette butt on the floor and scrunched it with my foot. “Yeah, just a headache.”

  “Another one?”

  I shrugged then grinned back at Maisie when she gestured towards the rampant couple in the swaying car. “I suffer with cluster headaches. Doc says they’re stress related. New job must be aggravating it.”

  She nodded then chuckled and elbowed me, “Or you’re pregnant. Lots suffer from headaches in the first term. Shit,” she mumbled on, “I had them like a fucker on steroids when I got caught with Gina. Wore the shit outta me.”

  I stared at her and shook my head. “I can’t,” I murmured quietly. “I can’t have children.”

  She paled and grimaced. “Shit, babe, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean owt . . .”

  “No.” I quietened her with a soft touch on her arm, her mortification embarrassing me more than her statement. “It’s not a problem,” I lied. “I’ve accepted it’s not meant to be.”

  She sighed and stubbed out her own cigarette. “Well, at least you can enjoy life. And shit, you’ll have more money. God knows mine spend my wages like water . . .”

  I hated the twist in my stomach. I would have loved nothing more than to give my dad a grandchild. He’d accepted it and in the previous years he’d come to hope that one day Seb would give him an heir to the family name, and now even that was something he would never experience.

  “Well, back to work,” Maisie said too happily as she quickly diverted from the conversation that obviously affected me more than I realised when she placed her hand on my arm and squeezed. “There’s always adoption,” she offered with a whisper as we walked back into the café. I replied with a nod and a forced smile. She winked then disappeared into the kitchen as I slung my apron back on and followed her.

  “The DJ’s hot,” Sophia said. “What about spinning on his forty-five inch?”

  I rolled my eyes, groaning at her try for humour. Downing my Jack and ice, I glared at her. “Will you give it a rest? I’m not interested in getting laid!”

  She pulled a face then turned to Leah. “What about you?”

  Leah narrowed her eyes on Sophia. “Have you got a job with a dating site or something?”

  Sophia blushed and looked away. Both Leah and I stared at her open-mouthed. “You never have?”

  Sophia shrugged, picking up her wine to take a sip and looked pointedly around the room. The club was fairly quiet for a Thursday night. A few couples were dancing to some god awful song on the dancefloor and a few men propped up the bar, their eyes scanning the room for possible conquests. Leah, Sophia and I sat at a high table to one side of the room, downing our drinks swiftly due to the late hour and our need to get drunk. “Is it a problem if I have?”

  Leah snorted. “Only if you continue to practice on us. Isla isn’t interested and I’m . . . I’m . . .”

  “You’re . . . ?” Sophia encouraged. “Don’t tell me you’re still after that broody fucker. What’s his name?”

  “Kris,” I butted in, giving Leah a discreet wink.

  She shook her head, her cheeks flaming. “No, I already spun on him. Don’t get me wrong.” She slurred when the alcohol started to work through her system. “He was good. In fact he was realllllyyyy good, but . . .”

  “But?” Sophia and I asked simultaneously.

  “Well, I’m seeing someone.”

  “Oh?” We both blinked at her, stunned by her revelation. As long as I’d known her, Leah hadn’t been in a relationship. She did one night stands, maybe two at a push but as far back as I could recall, never more than three times, so for her to state she was involved with someone was a shock.

  She looked anxious for a moment before she swallowed noisily and nodded. “Yeah, I’ve been seeing her for about three weeks.”

  “Her?!” Sophia and I blurted, again in symmetry.

  A group of men entered the club, their rowdiness making all three of us look their way for a moment before looking back at Leah. She shrugged and gave a timid smile.

  “Well that’s great.” I grinned. “What’s her name and when do we get to meet her?”

  Leah lifted a brow at me. “You’re not . . . freaked by it?”

  Sophia glimpsed my way and rolled her eyes. I peered at Leah. “What? Why would I be freaked? I always knew you liked women too.”

  “Yeah.” She lifted her hands. “But . . . well, you know, actually being in a relationship with a woman . . .”

  This time I rolled my eyes and sighed. “Shut the fuck up, you silly tart. My house, tomorrow. I’ll cook . . .”

  “No!” Both Leah and Sophia held their hands up, their horrified eyes wide and glistening.

  “We’ll go out. Rene’s is supposed to be good, and Eve loves Italian.”

  I glared at them both. “What the hell is wrong with my cooking?”

  “Absolutely nothing,” Leah said with a slight grimace. “But Eve might feel a bit . . . claustrophobic, you know, scrutinised in a small room with no escape. At least if we go out she isn’t going to be the centre of attention.”

  “Oh!” I smiled, relaxing with her explanation. “That sounds good.”

  The group of men were becoming quite raucous, their focus on the small girl behind the bar as one of them tried to climb over the counter and grab her boob. One of the security men ran over and pulled him back before he managed it but the poor girl was pressed against the back of the bar, terrified. I wondered why she’d gotten a job in a nightclub if she couldn’t handle randy men.

  In the next minute, the bloke lunged for the security guy, punching him clean on the nose and knocking him onto his back. His friends cheered him on when he got his boot in and started to kick at him like a maniac. The bar girl screamed, her head shaking from side to side.

  Sophia, Leah and I hurried over to try and help but his friends grabbed each of us, pulling us ba
ck.

  “Let me go, you fucker!” Sophia screamed as she flung her head back and broke the nose of her captor. He repaid her by punching the side of her head and sending her flying into the bar, her head making an awful crunch when it hit the wood and blood sprayed over the sleek white wood.

  “Fuck!” I wriggled hard, trying to free myself from the bloke who had got hold of me. As if stunned by what his mate had done, he released his hold on me. Quickly, I went to Sophia as I pulled my phone from my bag and dialled an ambulance.

  I couldn’t speak, my mind playing tricks on me when almost instantly Jake appeared from nowhere. I watched in amazement as he proceeded to annihilate all four men, his fury surreal as he took each man apart. The air in the room felt still and heavy as Jake released wave after wave of a violence so powerful I couldn’t believe what I was watching.

  Adam then appeared, as did Kris, both of them casually observing their boss. I couldn’t move as I stared up at Jake when he looked over me. Crouching before me, he cupped my face tenderly. “Isla, are you okay?”

  “I . . .” I couldn’t seem to talk, my heart was beating too fast. I stared up at him, staggered by how easily he’d taken out four men on his own.

  “Isla?”

  Sophia groaned and I blinked, remembering where I was and what had just happened. “Sophia.”

  Jake nodded slowly, taking my hand in his. “An ambulance is on its way. She’ll be okay.”

  “Where did you come from?” It was a stupid question but it was all I could get out.

  “It’s my club, sweetheart.”

  “What?”

  He shrugged then looked up as two paramedics rushed in. They stood looking at all five bodies on the floor, perplexed at who needed attention first. Jake held up a finger to them and pointed to Sophia.

  “Hey, Jake,” one of the paramedics said when he knelt beside me and Sophia, immediately checking her over.

  “Steve,” Jake answered with a respectful nod as he picked me up and moved me aside to allow the medics to work on my friend.

  “I take it those four aren’t our concern?” Steve asked then nodded at Jake when he shook his head.

  “You can’t just leave them there,” I mumbled.

  Jake smiled softly at me, his thumb stroking across my knuckles soothingly. “Don’t worry about those pricks. Adam and Kris will look after them.”

  I nodded, dazed and unable to think straight as I stared at the large puddle of blood on the floor when they lifted Sophia and placed her gently on a stretcher, her neck already guarded by a brace. They practically ran out of the club with my friend. I stumbled off Jake’s knee, grabbing for Leah as she raced after them. “Hang on, I’m coming.”

  “Grab her bag,” Leah shouted. “I’ll wait in the ambulance for you.”

  “Which hospital?” Jake shouted.

  “St Luke’s!” Steve the paramedic shouted back.

  Jake gave him a nod then turned to me. “I’ll take you.”

  I pulled my hand away when reality hit me. “What? No! I’ll go in the ambulance with Leah.”

  Jake shook his head. “I don’t think so, sweetheart. You need support. I’ll take you!”

  “Are you for fucking real?” I squinted when my headache revealed to me that it was turning into another migraine.

  Jake’s face darkened, his anger once again coming to the front. I froze. I wasn’t scared of him. I was terrified I would hurt him if he carried on being pig-headed. He stepped into me, pressing me back against the bar. “Don’t fucking try me. Not tonight. Do as you’re told.”

  “My God!” I shook my head in shock. “You really think you’re it, don’t you? Who the fuck made you God’s second in command?”

  Pushing me harder into the bar, he clenched his jaw at my defiance. “I am worried about you. Don’t tell me not to care for you, Isla, because that’s impossible.”

  “Care? Care?” I pushed him back with both hands on his chest. “Don’t you dare try and tell me you care. You cared enough to fuck another woman! You cared enough to hurt me. You cared enough to disregard my feelings and throw my love for you in the gutter.”

  “Isla . . .” His eyes clouded as my words hit him. The pain in his gaze made my heart weep but I sniffed, shaking my head as I tried to keep my tears at bay.

  “Don’t!” I held up my hands to him when he reached for me, an escaped sob making me clench my teeth.

  “Jake Devine . . .”

  “Please. I . . .”

  We both turned when a man repeated Jake’s name. I frowned when I noticed Sergeant Brook and three other police officers watching us.

  “I’m sorry to break you lovers up.” Brook grinned, his eyes twinkling as he stared at Jake. The blood stilled in my veins when I caught the smug look on his face.

  “Not now,” Jake said, with a warning in his voice that made me turn my head slowly from the sergeant to him.

  Brook tutted then chuckled. “I’m afraid I have another engagement later and I don’t have time to bow to your request, arsehole.”

  Jake took a step towards Brook. “Not in front of Isla, for fuck’s sake. Even you’re not that heartless!”

  The three police officers took a step in, two of them taking one of Jake’s arms as Brook laughed loudly. “Oh, you have a lot to learn about me, Devine.”

  “You bastard!” Jake squirmed before he stilled and turned to look at me. “Isla, I’m sorry. Remember how sorry I am. I tried to warn you, sweetheart. I . . .”

  “Jake Devine,” Sergeant Brook said with utter glee as Jake fixed his remorseful eyes on me. “I am arresting you for the murder of Sebastian and Marianne Cormack. You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence.”

  My legs collapsed and Kris caught me as Jake was led from his club.

  I STARED AT THE milky water in the brown plastic cup that, according to the drinks machine in the hospital waiting room, was ‘Hot, strong British tea.’ The small fly that had landed in it an hour ago still spun around, its one good wing still fluttering desperately as it attempted in vain to free itself from the death trap it found itself in. I didn’t have any sympathy; the stupid fucker should have seen the danger ahead. A bit like me, really.

  Leah sat beside me, staring at her own drink. Sophia’s brother, Dave, sat in a chair opposite us. I was saddened by the fact that he had come alone, his and Sophia’s parents nowhere to be found. Dave had tried to make a lame excuse that they were busy but in reality I knew they weren’t arsed that their only daughter was at death’s door. Their crack habit was more important, once again, than Sophia.

  Kris sat in the corner chair of the waiting room, where he had been snoozing for the last three hours. His long legs were straight out in front of him, crossed at the ankles with his chin on his chest and his arms folded. After he had picked me up from the floor following Jake’s arrest, Kris had planted me in the front seat of his car where I sat in a silent daze before he’d pulled up in front of the hospital. I’d climbed from the car and somehow managed to drag myself inside and find a nurse who had escorted me into the waiting room where Leah and Dave were waiting for news on Sophia’s condition. Ten minutes later, much to my surprise, Kris had walked in, looked around the room and then taken the chair which he still occupied.

  When the ache in my backside turned to a numb throb, I stood up and walked through the door that led to a small enclosed outside area. The day was starting, the birds heralding the rise of the sun as I took a seat on the bench and stared up at the dark clouds already forming. The encroaching storm matched the commotion in my heart, the ache in my head as frenzied as the birds’ morning song.

  I looked at Kris when he joined me, sitting himself on the other side of the bench. Reaching into the pocket of his jacket, he pulled out a packet of cigarettes and lit one then passed it to me before lighting his own. Tipping his head back, he blew smoke rings
into the air.

  Taking a long pull of my own cigarette, appreciating the kick of nicotine in the back of my throat, I shivered when a slight breeze whipped up my hair. Kris frowned in my direction, his eyebrows pulled stiffly together. Slipping his jacket off, he leaned over and hung it off my shoulders. I looked at him and smiled gratefully but remained as quiet as he did.

  He nodded before we both turned back to stare into the sky. He took another drag of his smoke then slipped his left hand into my right hand. If he had said any kind words, they couldn’t have given me any more support than just taking my hand did.

  We sat in silence as we smoked our cigarettes, watching the night turn into day while a bond formed that neither of us ever expected.

  Eventually Kris flicked his smoke into the air and sighed. “He never professed to be a good man.”

  I nodded. “I know.”

  “But he is, Isla.”

  I snorted quietly. “I hope he rots in a jail cell. I understand your loyalty, Kris, honestly I do but that man has. . . .”

  “That man has broken his own fucking heart for you!”

  I snapped my face to his, my glare angry and full of a hatred I didn’t think I could contain. “What the fuck, Kris? You think I’m not hurting?” I thumped at my chest, tears finally brimming over and toppling down my face. “I don’t think I’ll ever fix what Jake has broken. How can someone profess his love then screw another woman, a woman who he swore meant nothing to him?”

  Kris watched me with no expression on his face, as per usual.

  “And . . . and . . .” I squeezed my eyes closed, hating the tightness in my chest as the nausea twisted my insides, my broken voice choking me. “God damn it, Kris! He murdered my family! Why? Why?”

  Kris’ arms wrapped around me and he pulled my face into his chest. My hands fisted his shirt as I desperately clawed at him, the pain tearing through me, taking the breath from my lungs as I wailed and grabbed at him for comfort.