Desire

by Cassie Verano

  “No, thanks, bro. I’m good on that,” I said, waving a hand and returning to my cooking.

  CHAPTER 24 – KARINA

  “...so how long have you been—”

  “Oh, excuse me for just a sec...hello?” David answered his phone.

  How rude? First, we’re in the middle of a date, and you’ve been checking your texts all night, and now you have the nerve to answer your phone.

  It was bad enough that his ex-girlfriend was texting him the entire night we were together. Initially, he ignored the texts, but at some point, he started responding, asking her to stop. I wasn’t sure why he didn’t just block her or place the phone on vibrate.

  But whatever, it wasn’t my ex, and it wasn’t my phone.

  “Uh... no, Nicole. I’m on a date. I can’t...you’re where?”

  I watched as his head slowly turned, and his mouth dropped open. Following his line of vision, I saw a cutesy college girl standing on the sidewalk in the rain. Blonde hair plastered to her head, no umbrella, she stood there like a damn psycho waving at him with one hand, while holding the phone with her other, and crying.

  David’s gaze turned to me.

  “Um, I’m sorry. Can you excuse me for just a moment? My ex is outside, and it appears she’s having a difficult time with me going on,” David said.

  “Or she’s having a break with reality,” I suggested.

  He sighed as if I were the one irritating him and shook his head. “Please, you don’t understand, Karine, she’s been through a lot.”

  “It’s Karina, not Karine, and that’s perfectly fine. I understand.”

  “You do?” he asked, with a wavering smile.

  “Sure, go ahead and be with your ex. I think you two are perfect for one another,” I said, sliding out of our booth and grabbing my purse.

  “Wait...no, seriously. She just needs a minute. I think she may have forgotten to take her meds. I’ll call an Uber for her and be right back,” David said.

  I smiled. “Okay, you go ahead and do that.”

  “You’ll wait?”

  “Mm-hmm.”

  He rushed out of the restaurant, and I could see her brighten up when she spotted him. Their crazy asses deserved one another.

  Heading towards the kitchen of the restaurant, I found the head chef.

  “Boris?”

  “Karina! What a surprise to see you here and an honor.”

  “Thanks, Boris. But I need a huge favor.”

  “Anything. Whatever you request, I will do for you,” Boris said, pulling me into a tight embrace.

  Boris was just rising in his career when I had my restaurant, and he was one of my sous chefs.

  “I’m on a date with a man whose ex is stalking him. Honestly, I think they’re both crazy as hell, and I just need to find a quiet place to wait until my Uber arrives, and then I need to slip out the back door unnoticed.”

  Smiling, Boris took my hand and led me to the offices.

  “Here, take my keys, head home, and I’ll have Sarah bring me by when we close up tonight.”

  “I can’t put you out like that, Boris.”

  “I insist, Karina. You’ve done so much for me, and you were the first to take a chance on me. Now, look. I have my own restaurant, thanks to you. It’s the least that I can do.”

  I hesitated for a moment.

  “Please, Karina. Take my car. It’s the white BMW parked out back with the tinted windows and the CHEF1 license plates. You can leave the keys under the floor mat. We have an extra set of keys. When Sarah brings me by, I’ll unlock it using those, and we’ll never disturb you,” Boris offered.

  “You are a lifesaver. I owe you, Boris,” I said, pulling the tall, heavyset man in for another hug.

  His red, fluffy beard tickled my face.

  “No, I owe you. Here, take these and go quickly before he comes looking for you,” Boris said, pushing the keys into my hand.

  I graciously accepted them and allowed Boris to walk me to his car out back, texting him my address as I went. I didn’t breathe a sigh of relief until I was in the car, heading back to my place. Thankfully, I’d met David at the restaurant and caught an Uber there. He had no idea where I lived.

  “I’VE HAD A WONDERFUL evening, Kenneth. Thanks so much,” I said, accepting his embrace as we walked to my car.

  Dinner was lovely, his conversation was witty and intelligent, and he was sexy as hell. The only thing I required now was to head to a hotel from there. This was our third date, and I was ready to scratch that itch that was building.

  “So did I. When I first read your profile online, I won’t lie; it caught me off guard.”

  “Why?” I asked, smiling at Kenneth.

  He was a gorgeous, dark-skinned brother with light brown eyes and deep waves in his hair. Like me, he had just entered his fabulous forties.

  His profile said he was just looking for a good time, no serious commitments, or relationship strings. That was perfect for me.

  “Because you’re a beautiful, sexy woman who has so much to offer. I’ve seen your cooking show, and I’ve eaten at your restaurant in the past. And so I asked myself, ‘Kenny, why would a woman so damn fine and sexy, not want a relationship?’ I mean, you were too good to be true,” he said.

  “And...what was your answer to yourself?”

  “That you are, the answer to my prayers. You were the perfect design for me,” Kenneth said, winking and tugging my hand to pull me closer to him.

  “You don’t have to thirst for the panties, Kenneth. I told you to follow me to the hotel. All you have to do is show up, and my legs will open up,” I said, placing a hand against his chest.

  Leaning in, he brushed his lips against mine and grabbed my hips tightly, pulling me against him. Okay, maybe we’d have to work together, but I don’t think he was completely lacking. I could feel that he wasn’t working with what Zymir was, but he had something I could manage.

  Pulling back, he sighed, “Okay, did you have a particular place in mind?”

  “Yes, the Waterfront.”

  Nodding, he replied, “Nice. Do you mind if we make a stop on the way?”

  “No problem,” I said.

  “All right, follow me,” he invited, walking away from me and heading to his car.

  Ten minutes later, we pulled up to a cemetery. What the hell was going on? I slowed my car down behind him and waited for him to walk to my car.

  “Kenneth, a cemetery?”

  “Yes,” he said, with a great big country smile. “I wanted you to come to meet my grandfather.”

  “Meet your grandfather? I thought we were just doing a wild night of hot sex.”

  “We are. But my grandfather is very special to me. I always introduce him to special women, and there’s something special about you that I can’t ignore.”

  “Umm...I thought we were just screwing. No relationships. No ties...” I said, shrugging my shoulders and holding my palms up.

  “Baby, that’s all I set out to look for, too. But sometimes things change. And I feel the spark between us, and I can’t ignore it. My grandfather will confirm for me if I’m on point or not,” Kenneth said.

  This dude was crazy. I wasn’t about to meet his grandfather, and I sure as hell wasn’t giving up the pussy. Not to him. But I would humor him.

  “Okay, so your grandfather...What is he like the caretaker or something?”

  “No, he’s buried here. This is his eternal home,” Kenneth said, with a smile. “He’s right over there,” he said, turning to point somewhere off in the distance.

  Placing my car in reverse, I backed out the cemetery and did not pass go. I kept driving in reverse until I reached the main road, and sped my ass all the way home, checking the rearview mirror along the way.

  “MISS KENDRICKS, YOUR dinner partner, has arrived,” the waitress said, stepping aside to reveal the other handsome man that I was corresponding with on Loveme.com for the last few weeks.

  Unlike Kenneth and me, Simon and I h
adn’t found time to connect in person yet. Tonight was our first date.

  “Thanks,” I replied, standing to greet him as he leaned in for a hug.

  “Hi...Simon?”

  “Yes, Karina?”

  “I am...and, who is this lovely young lady you have with you?”

  He smiled and slid his eyes to the little curly-headed angel holding onto his hand and glancing up at me.

  “Ariana, say hi to Miss Karina,” Simon introduced.

  The adorable child removed her two fingers from her mouth and smiled brightly at me.

  “Hi, Mish Koh-reen-uh,” the baby said.

  “I’ve been looking forward to our date all week.”

  “Yes, so have I. I didn’t realize you’d be bringing a guest,” I said.

  Looking at his daughter and back to me. “I’m sorry. Is it a problem? I didn’t plan to bring her, but...uh...my wife was called into work unexpectedly.”

  “Your...your wife?”

  “Yeah, we’re still living together, but we’re not together; if you know what I mean. We have two separate bedrooms, but Julie’s not ready for the divorce, and I’m not financially in a place where I can afford my own place and child support,” Simon said.

  He picked up the child in question and set her in the booth and scooted in next to her.

  “Oh, ...okay.”

  “But it’s no problem, really. I mean, we still love each other, but that’s because we’ve been together for more than six years. Julie knows that I’m moving on, though. We’ve even whittled s.e.x down to once a week,” he said.

  “That’s nice, Simon.”

  “We have to keep up the look for Ariana’s sake, though.”

  “Yes, I understand. Um, I need to use the restroom. Please excuse me,” I said.

  “Do you mind taking Ariana? It’s been a while since we left the house, and I’m sure she has to use it, too,” Simon said.

  I stared at him, wordlessly for several seconds before I stood. Snatching my evening bag, I marched right past Simon, Ariana, and the waitress on the way to our table.

  I kept marching straight out the restaurant ignoring Simon calling after me.

  By the time I returned home, I had snatched my profile off Loveme.com.

  CHAPTER 25 – KARINA

  “Wait, you’ve been what?” Lori screamed at me, her eyes wide and frantic.

  “You heard her,” Rhonda replied.

  “And you’ve known about this?” Lori asked.

  “Mm-hmm.”

  “Why didn’t you say anything?”

  “It wasn’t my place to tell. Besides, you know how your sister is. When she gets an idea in her head and makes up her mind, there’s no turning her back,” Rhonda said.

  “But this? She could’ve been harmed, or worse!” Lori exclaimed.

  “Girl, it doesn’t get worse than what she’s been through. Besides, we’ve been harassing her with moving on with her life. This is her moving on with her life,” Rhonda said.

  “Not on a dating website! I meant, one of us setting her up with someone, or maybe her meeting some good man in church or the local grocery store!” Lori declared.

  “Or that sexy piece of meat across the street?” Rhonda said in the same bored monotone she’d been speaking in as she wiggled her eyebrows.

  Lori stopped fuming and turned to me. Her face softened.

  “Yeah, Karina. What happened to Zymir?” Lori asked.

  “Oh, now you remember that I’m here, and the two of you stop talking about me as if I were absent?” I asked.

  “Seriously. What happened to Zymir?” Lori repeated.

  Shrugging, I said, “We weren’t looking for the same things. Zymir was going down one path, and I was going down another.”

  “What? Hookers-R-Us?” Rhonda asked.

  Lori broke out laughing and then pressed a hand against her mouth when I gave her the eye. “Sorry.”

  “No, I want to have fun. Enjoy my life for a change and learn to loosen up,” I said.

  “As opposed to?” Lori asked.

  “As opposed to what he wants,” I muttered.

  “Which is?” Rhonda pushed.

  “Hell, I don’t know.”

  “What did he tell you?” Lori asked.

  “That he wants us to get to know each other better. He wants to explore the possibility of a relationship.”

  “And what’s wrong with that?” Lori asked.

  “I don’t have time for that, Lori. I’ve been down that road. Besides, I’m forty, and he’s thirty-two. There’s an eight-year difference between him and me,” I explained.

  “Girl, I told you those young boys could teach you a thing or two,” Rhonda piped up.

  She didn’t have to tell me that. I already knew because Zymir had done that.

  “One day, maybe not now, but one day he’ll want children. He’ll want a wife that he can settle down with. Someone that doesn’t have the baggage that I have, the fears that I hold, and the mistrust that I carry. Someone who...is not suicidal,” I said.

  Rhonda inhaled deeply and grabbed my hands in hers. We were sitting side by side on the couch, and Lori was sitting on an armchair across from us.

  “You are not suicidal. You had one episode almost two years ago, and it hasn’t happened since. Things weren’t easy for you, Karina, and you had a rough patch,” Rhonda said.

  “A rough patch? Rough patch, Rhonda? It wasn’t a rough patch; it was my damned life! I tried to take my life because I couldn’t cope with my reality. That wasn’t a rough patch, Ronnie!”

  “Yes, the hell it was! It’s not your life, and it doesn’t damn define you! I’m sick and tired of your shit, Karina. We can’t always be ‘on’ one hundred percent of the time. We’re not perfect, and we can’t all be strong. You had some major shit going on in your life, and you struggled through it. At the time, it was easier for you to stop living than continue to cope with the shit life tossed your way! But damnit, you’ve survived. You’re stronger than most of us because you’ve been through the fire, broke down to your lowest point, and still came out on top!” Rhonda shouted.

  “No, Ronnie! I haven’t come out on top. Because I still have nightmares that I’m not here anymore. I still struggle with the depression and wonder if I’ll ever be okay. And I still have a fear that I’ll break again!”

  “But until you do, damnit, you live your life one day, one moment, at a time. You enjoy your life and don’t question if you have the right to enjoy that. So, fuck this pity party you’re having, and get with that damn fine ass man across the street and let him break your motherfuckin’ back!” Rhonda shouted.

  We were screaming back and forth at one another. This wasn’t something new for us; we’d been through this before. And as usual, Lori always receded into the background and waited for us to arrive at the place we were about to.

  “I already did!” I shouted back.

  “And maybe if you let him...wait. What?” Rhonda turned her head sideways and rolled her eyes sideways to look at me.

  Then she turned to Lori. “Did this heffa just say what I think she did?”

  “Mm-hmm,” Lori said.

  “You already fucked him?” Rhonda asked.

  “Yes, I did. Several times,” I groaned, dropping my head into my hands.

  “You freaky heffa! When were you going to tell us?” Rhonda asked.

  “I wasn’t. But you won’t let up!”

  “You weren’t?” Lori asked. “Why not? Is it a bad thing? Like bad dick, or bad sex, bad cunnilingus, or just what?”

  I laughed. “No, no, no, my sweet, Lori. The only bad thing about that man is how he’s got me feenin’ for him, and he’s withholding it from me. He’s the reason my ass was on Loveme.com in the first place. Trying to find something as good as him,” I confessed.

  “Whoooaaaa!” Rhonda said, laughing, shaking her head, and clapping her hands. “This fine brother wants to get with you, he’s dicking you down, and you want no parts? At what point di
d you lose your everlasting, motherfuckin’ mind, Karina Jhenai Kendricks?”

  I sighed. “See, this is exactly why I didn’t want to say anything to you guys.”

  “Me? What did I do?” Lori asked, widening her eyes and pressing her hands against her chest.

  “Nothing yet. But you can’t figure out why I don’t want to be happily married like your ass and try for the sake of everything in heaven above and earth below to have a child again, because your pregnant ass is happy as hell.”

  I took a deep breath after that mouthful and laughed at my sister’s offended look.

  “Well, I think anything with that man will be a whole lot better than what you’ve been going through with these psycho ass men you’ve been dating online,” Rhonda chimed in.

  “Yeah, but I met some sweet guys online. Two of them I went out on a date with were perfectly fine.”

  “Well, what happened to them?” Rhonda asked.

  “One of them was boring. I almost fell asleep on him over dinner.”

  “Damn,” Rhonda said.

  “Yeah. And the second one was nice, but I just had no physical or sexual attraction to him. He was different in person than online.”

  “Did you meet any others?” Rhonda asked.

  “No one else seemed like a match to me. Except for these three guys who appeared to be genuinely good, too. I have no idea what happened.”

  “Anyone can seem good online,” Lori pointed out.

  “Just like Zymir can seem good. I have no idea how crazy he really is,” I said.

  “Yet, she spread her legs and let him hit it,” Rhonda said.

  “And eat it...” I muttered.

  “You whore!” Rhonda said, laughing.

  “Quit that, Ronnie. You know you would have done the same thing,” Lori accused.

  “I would’ve...and let him hit it from the back, and a few other places, too,” Rhonda said.

  I did...we even did it anal,” I revealed.

  Rhonda’s eyes widened. “Wait! Miss straitlaced? I can’t even believe you’re sharing details. You used to refuse to talk about your sex life. Period!”