Becoming her Salvation (Zanetti Famiglia Book 7)

by Hayley Faiman

I stay away from Rosana for a whole week.

  The only time I ever thought about going to her was one night when I had a call from her in my notifications, but the voice mail she left just sounded like she was moving around, like it was an accidental call.

  I heard muffled voices, but no matter how hard I listened, I couldn’t understand anything—she never called back.

  As much as I want to sit around and watch her, think about her and the life that we should have had, I can’t. I don’t have the time to do that. My office and clients have suffered with my absence the past few weeks and it’s time for me to get back in the swing of things.

  Gavino is on the mend, he’s starting to move around more, and it appears as if he’ll make a complete recovery. Something that I didn’t think was possible. I thought for sure he was gone, but the bastard is one of the toughest men that I know. It seems as if our famiglia is finally getting back to where it should be.

  That is, until the next blow heads our way.

  With my head bent, I continue to work on the file that is in front of me when I hear a knock on my office door. Lifting my head, I frown as I call out for whoever is on the other side to come in. I don’t have any meetings scheduled for today, so it’s not a client.

  The door slowly opens, and my brows rise at the sight of Massimo slipping into the room. He closes the door behind him, walks over to the chair across from my desk, and sits down without uttering a single word.

  “You seriously going to let this shit happen?” he asks.

  I blink, looking up to him, completely and totally confused by his words. I don’t respond to him as he stares at me, his jaw clenched tightly, his eyes narrowed as he waits for me. When it’s obvious that I’m not going to say anything, he clears his throat and leans forward slightly.

  “You’re going to let another man, another Made Man, move in with your wife before your divorce is even final?”

  I know that my blood drains from my face. A week. I haven’t been following her for a full fucking week and this is what she does? My heart races with adrenaline that is mixed with rage. What the actual fuck? What the actual fucking fuck?

  “You’re going to need to explain that shit to me right goddamn now,” I growl.

  Massimo snorts. “So, you do give a fuck?” he asks.

  I snort, hating that he even has to ask. Because I do. I really give a fuck. I fell for Rosana as soon as she walked into my office, in need of protection.

  I just can’t fucking protect her the way that she needs, and I can’t let her be another Abriana. I can’t let her die under my watch. Let her life slip through my fingers. My name alone won’t save her. It didn’t save Abriana.

  “She’s still my wife,” I grind out.

  “So you give a fuck because it makes you look bad, or you actually give a fuck?” he asks.

  It’s my turn to lean forward, and I do it with a growl. “Does it fucking matter?”

  Massimo shrugs a shoulder, a smirk playing on his lips. “It could.”

  “Massimo,” I snap.

  “It’s Valerius. I don’t know what he’s doing, but he’s living with her. He’s her goddamn shadow. I haven’t been able to get her alone to ask her what the fuck is going on, not even on her lunch hour at work.”

  “Valerius?” I growl. “Valerius?”

  What the fuck is going on? Was she fucking him the whole time he was supposed to be guarding her? Did she ever give a shit about me—about us? Why should I even care? I do though, I care a lot and I’m going to get to the bottom of it.

  “Pippa told me not to come to you. She wants me to deal with it, she says that I should go over you and straight to Gavino because the divorce is almost final.”

  Arching a brow, I press my lips together and wonder if Pippa will ever like me again after the way I’ve treated Rosana. Doubtful, I’m sure. I also wonder if I give a fuck? Not really. I’ve never particularly cared if someone likes me or not, maybe just Rosana.

  “Common courtesy and all, I thought I would give you the opportunity. If you’re going to shit or get off the pot with her, this is probably your last chance. I have a feeling whatever the fuck is going on with Valerius, he’s in it to win it and if he’s stuck to her like this now, it will only get worse once she’s officially single.”

  Leaning back in my chair, I look up at the ceiling. I want her. I want her back. I know deep down inside I should have never filed for divorce, but I don’t know if I can make this work between us.

  I don’t know if I can live with the continued responsibility of trying to keep her safe and potentially failing—again. That doesn’t even include attempting to keep a baby safe, an entire fucking ready-made family for me to keep not only unharmed but alive.

  I’m not sure I can do it.

  I’m also not sure if I can turn my back on them either, especially right now. My emotions of rage and jealousy flow through me in a way that I didn’t know I was capable of feeling. They are not Valerius’ they are mine.

  “If this is what she wants, who am I to stop it?” I ask, feeling sick with every single word that I say.

  Massimo stands, a look of disgust crossing his face, then he clears his throat. “Pippa told me you’d puss out. I told her you would get your wife and bring her back home. I guess I was wrong.”

  I watch as he turns and walks out of the office. I don’t stop him, I don’t try to make him stay and explain myself to him.

  Like the pussy that I am—I watch him walk out of my office. He even leaves the door open when he goes, a subtle nod that he does not respect me. I don’t blame him either. I don’t even respect myself.

  Staying in my office chair, I stare at the open door for a while, then close my eyes and rest my forehead in my hands.

  “Salvatore,” a voice rasps.

  Lifting my head, I turn to see Kimberly standing in my doorway. She’s not wearing her usual flirty grin. Instead, she looks solemn. Really solemn, and my brows knit together as I wait for whatever it is she’s going to say.

  “I couldn’t help but overhear, mainly because I eavesdrop,” she says with a chuckle. “But I just wanted to say, I never saw you happy, not until she came into your life. I think you need to go and get her.”

  I try not to gape at her, but I fail. Nodding my head once, I clear my throat. “Thank you, Kimberly.”

  She shrugs a shoulder, taking a step back. “I just don’t want to see you give up on something that made you so happy.”

  Without another word, she turns from me and walks away. Standing, I clear my throat and pick my phone up from my desk, shoving it into my pocket before I head out to find my wife. I’m going to do that too. I’m going to find her and I’m going to figure out what the fuck she thinks she’s doing.

  Then, I may just kill a Made Man.

  ROSANA

  The only decent thing about Valerius is that he hasn’t raped me… yet. He will though, without a doubt he is going to hurt me and I don’t know if I’ll be able to get out of it. He’s moved himself into my place. He follows me everywhere, even to work. I cannot get rid of him and I’m terrified every minute of every day.

  When the pocket phone call to Salvatore didn’t work, I tried to go to Pippa’s and beg for help, like the weak person I am, but he followed me there, too. I haven’t had a moment to myself in a week. He also took my phone away, immediately after barging into my life.

  The only phone I am able to use without being watched and listened to is at work and I just haven’t been alone at my new job long enough to make a call to anyone. Licking my lips, I walk toward the front door of my building where Valerius is waiting.

  Letting out a sigh, I walk toward him, but I don’t smile or show him any kindness. If this is what he wants, he’s not getting me at my nicest. Not at all—not even close. I’ll be as much of a bitch as I can get away with until I’m free.

  I honestly don’t understand why he doesn’t find someone who actually wants him. This seems so extra crazy, like really? He
’s going to be my husband and make a family with me out of revenge?

  All because Courtney was crazy, manipulated him, and got herself killed. It seems a little over the top, even for this bunch of crazy assholes.

  We walk together in silence. I’m thankful that my apartment is only a few blocks away. Letting out a sigh, I inwardly groan at the thought of my doctor’s appointment in a few days. They said that they would do an ultrasound, and while I’m ecstatic to see my baby, I don’t want to share the moment with Valerius.

  The floor of the hallway to my apartment is quiet, but I notice something by my door or someone, rather. It’s Salvatore. He’s leaning his upper back against the wall next to my door, his knee cocked and his foot pressing against the wall.

  I stumble at the sight of him, unable to control my body at seeing him after not even having a glimpse of him for five weeks.

  The divorce is uncontested, I didn’t fight him and I didn’t ask for anything other than what he offered in the paperwork, in all honesty, I didn’t even want that, but I didn’t want to delay it any longer, so I just signed whatever he sent and it should be finalized next week.

  “What the fuck?” Valerius sneers.

  I can feel him shift next to me and I know that he’s taking his gun out, something he does often, flashing it to whoever he feels like showing it to. He is everything opposite of what a Made Man should be and I don’t understand how he became part of the Zanetti famiglia at all.

  “I could say the same,” Salvatore rumbles.

  My hand shakes as I reach for the door lock with my key. I can hear my keys jingle as I try to shove it in the hole, but I miss, three times. I’m on the verge of tears. I’m shaking and terrified.

  Salvatore reaches for the keys, slipping them out of my hand, and calmly slides one into the lock and in one swift move, he unlocks the door and pushes it open for me to go inside. I slide past him and even though I want to run to the bathroom, lock myself inside, and hide—I don’t.

  Valerius closes the door behind him once we’re all standing in my living room, and he stares at Salvatore with a cocky grin on his lips.

  A few months ago, I would have been all over Valerius. He would have been it. I would flirt with him and try to get him to take me home. The cocky asshole in front of me was what I was attracted to—foolishly.

  Now, I see him for what he is, a snake. He and Miguel were both snakes in the grass, and I fell for their games each time. I’m the problem. Not them, not Salvatore, nobody but me. I don’t know how to pick someone decent. I thought that I had with Salvatore, but I couldn’t keep him.

  Maybe Valerius is exactly who and what I deserve.

  “I’d like to talk to my wife alone,” Salvatore grinds out, his eyes focused on Valerius and nowhere else. Not even on me. I’m oddly okay with that. If he can get Valerius to leave, I just might fall at his feet.

  “I bet you would,” Valerius snaps.

  I watch as Valerius grips his gun in his hand even harder, his knuckles turning white, and I’m afraid he’s getting ready to use it on Salvatore. Looking between them, I hold my hand up and clear my throat.

  “Would it be okay if maybe we went out on the small balcony?” I ask, trying to keep my voice soft and timid.

  Valerius presses his lips together, looking from Salvatore to me, then back. He can’t deny this, Salvatore is my husband, and he is higher ranked than Valerius. No matter what Valerius says or wants, he can’t deny Salvatore anything. Not right now, anyway, not until next week.

  “Leave the fuckin’ door open, Rosana,” he growls.

  I do, gladly. I know how to whisper and judging by the way Salvatore is looking at me, he knows something is up and I won’t have to say much at all. I can only hope that my estranged husband will save me right now. I’ll be the girl looking and begging, praying for her savior and I won’t be ashamed of it either.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  ROSANA

  Salvatore’s eyes focus on me, the wind picking up around us as we watch one another, neither of us speaking. He clears his throat but still doesn’t say anything. The silence is deafening. He clears his throat again, then he lifts his hand and grabs ahold of the banister railing, gripping it tightly.

  “You fucking him? You fuck him before I filed?” he demands.

  If I were, I would tell him without hesitation. I would be proud, because it’s what I would want. This is not what I want, at all.

  I don’t want him to touch me, I don’t want him to be inside of me and I don’t want him to be the father of my children. Not only because I hate him, but that is truly the main reason. However, there’s the little fact that he’s not Salvatore.

  “No, I’m not and I haven’t,” I murmur. “None of this is my choice,” I whisper.

  Salvatore reaches out, touching the bottom of my chin, and pushes my head back slightly. His eyes are on mine, but they aren’t just watching me or looking at me, he’s studying me. He jerks his chin as if deciding something and then lets his hand fall down to his side.

  “Interesting,” he says.

  Licking my lips, I look from him to the window where Valerius is still standing. He’s got the gun in his hand still, ready and waiting to end Salvatore. Maybe even me too at any moment. He is on edge, and I’m terrified. I do something that I know won’t sound nice, but self-preservation is key at this moment.

  “You need to leave. I don’t want you anymore,” I say, overly loud. I say it loud enough that I know without a doubt Valerius will hear me.

  Valerius’ lips twitch into a grin, obviously pleased by my words. I don’t care, I just want to survive this and I want Salvatore to survive it as well.

  Pressing my lips together, I shift my gaze over to Salvatore. I expect to see a look of surprise cross his face. He doesn’t even show me an ounce of anger or being upset. He nods his head once, then takes a step back.

  “I will come for you, bambola,” he promises.

  I watch as he turns and walks away from me. He leaves me alone, jerking his chin toward Valerius. I continue to watch his back and jump when he slams the door behind him and walks completely out of my apartment. Probably my life too.

  He didn’t grab me, push Valerius to the side, and take me with him. The reality of it all is that Valerius has a gun out. He could kill me if Salvatore tried that, but that doesn’t mean that I didn’t want him to try.

  The way that he walks out leaves me feeling empty inside.

  I want to believe that he’ll be back for me, but I don’t know when or how. Saying he’s going to come for me doesn’t give me a timeline and I need to get the hell out of here before Valerius decides he can’t wait another second before he rapes me.

  Hope is lost right now.

  Valerius appears at my side a few minutes later and wraps his hand around my waist. He turns me to face him, and I can see the outright rage in his eyes as he looks at me.

  Then, for the first time since he’s forced his way into my life, he becomes violent. He lifts his hand, wrapping his fingers in the back of my hair and twists it, pulling it hard before he forces my neck backward. His angry gaze focused on mine. My entire neck and head scream in pain, but I don’t cry out.

  I don’t give him the satisfaction.

  “If that fuck comes here one more time, I’ll kill him. I don’t know how you are going to get that information to him, but he needs to know. You are not his. Not anymore.”

  My eyes widen, but I don’t say anything. I can’t physically speak. He narrows his eyes and leans forward. Then he does something that I didn’t expect. Valerius spits on my cheek. I can’t pull away from him, I can’t move. I am frozen in my place, physically by him and also in fear of what he is going to do next.

  “Mine,” he grinds out. “And I’m going to be taking you. The day the divorce is final, your cunt is mine.”

  “Please,” I manage to beg with a whimper.

  He chuckles, but it’s humorless and frightening as shit. “You’ll be say
ing that so often it’s going to be etched in your brain.”

  Closing my eyes, I try to hold back the tears, but one escapes and rolls down my cheek, and it makes him laugh harder.

  “Do you think that Courtney was spared anything when they killed her? She wasn’t. You’re going to pay for that for the rest of your life, however long that is.”

  He releases me, taking a step backward, and I almost fall on my ass. My hand reaches out and I catch myself just in time by grabbing ahold of the small metal railing. It creaks under my body’s grip and weight, but Valerius doesn’t give a shit.

  “Make me some goddamn dinner,” he shouts before he turns away from me and walks back into the apartment.

  Lifting my hand, I wipe the saliva from my cheek, then slide my palm down the side of my pants. I’ve never felt like a bigger piece of worthless shit than I do right now. Not even my bitch of an aunt made me feel this low.

  I decide right here and now. I’m not waiting for Salvatore to rescue me. I’m not waiting for him to be my salvation. I’m going to save myself. I don’t know when he’ll be back, but I can’t wait another day.

  When I ran to Salvatore, I was looking for him to save me, to be my rescuer, to be my salvation. But I see now, that all along, I’ve needed to be the one to do the saving. I need to save myself.

  I’m stronger than I’m allowing myself to be right now. I am not some docile creature. I come from stronger women and better stock than this weak-ass thing that I am right now.

  I made the decision to raise this baby on my own when Salvatore filed for divorce, and I’m making another decision right here and now.

  I’m going to rescue myself.

  I am going to leave Valerius, even if it means I do that in a body bag. What I won’t do is be his revenge over a woman who was a fucking cunt. Courtney got exactly what she deserved. I, on the other hand, don’t deserve any of this shit.

  Straightening my shoulders, I go inside with a new determination for life. I am going to do this. I am going to get this trash out of my life, forever. I just hope that I survive everything that will come my way when I do.