Breaking Boundaries

by M. A. Lee

  “Yes!” I shouted, still unable to believe he had bought me jewelry. That was definitely out of the friend zone.

  Scooting closer to me, Cole placed the pendants in his hand so that each one was on display. “This one,” he said, pointing to the first one, “is California. It is a reminder of where you want to be in the future. This one here is a purple book, I thought it was cool since you love purple and you read books all of the time. And finally, this last one is a sun. It represents that even though life can get bad and storms may appear in our lives, the sun will always come back and shine down on us.” He sat back and allowed the pendants to dangle in the air. “I know it all sounds corny but I thought you may like them. The girl at the Pandora Jewelry Store told me to tell her all about you, and then she helped me pick these out. They reminded me of you and, hopefully, they will keep you motivated to follow your dreams.”

  My mouth was wide open, as I stopped looking at the necklace and began watching Cole. He had placed so much effort into my gift, I didn’t feel worthy. I didn’t feel good enough right now to even be his friend. How could anyone be so sweet? If only we had met in another lifetime, one without Brody and broken hearts, we could have been together. I could have loved Cole in another lifetime. My heart silently broke again as I thought about the life that couldn’t exist.

  “Cole, this is the most amazing and thoughtful gift I have ever received,” I stated, throwing my arms around his neck and hugging him tight. “Thank you so much.” I placed a small kiss on his cheek and quickly pushed myself back against the couch. I feared if I lingered even a split second longer, I would have attacked him. In a good way.

  With his smile growing wider by the second, Cole ran his hands through his hair. “I am glad you like it.” His body wasn’t as relaxed and calm as I was used to with Cole. Instead, he seemed nervous and almost timid.

  I placed the necklace around my neck and pressed it against my heart, a move I hope Cole didn’t see.

  Leaning down, I grabbed my gift for Cole and placed it in his lap. His eyes lit up and he looked just like a kid on, well, Christmas Day. He began rapidly tearing away the silver and gold wrapping paper I had spent an hour wrapping perfectly. Once he had the paper shredded on the floor, he inspected the toolbox. His hands ran along the edges, feeling every groove and crevice of the material. His eyes shot up at me and, I swear, I could see tears trying to fill the beautiful, gray space.

  “This is so nice,” he said as he held the box in front of him. His eyes revealed such gratitude I almost cried watching him.

  “I thought you could use something nice to carry your tools in when you are working on cars away from the shop. Besides, one day when you are sitting in your own shop, you will need something nice and personal.” I added, hoping he realized how much I hoped his dreams would come true.

  “This is the best gift I have ever received. Well, actually, it is the only gift I have received. But, nothing else could ever have compared.”

  Smiling, I felt proud that he loved my gift. Tapping the top of the box, I motioned for him to look inside. “There’s more,” I said.

  He opened the box and pulled out the magazine and organizer. “I thought you might like to see some of the cars in the magazine.” I stated as he flipped through the pages. “The organizer will help you schedule appointments for the cars you fix now and, hopefully, in your future shop. It has a place to add a calendar and check balancing book.”

  The air around us began to fill with electricity as I could sense our emotions flaring. While it was a holiday where giving gifts was the norm, the amount of love put into each of our gifts seemed to fill us both with love. He eyed me for only a moment before he gently placed one hand around my waist and pulled me close. His lips swiftly crashed into mine as the heat and electricity between us finally exploded. The room was full of so much emotion; it was hard to control ourselves. I placed my hands on the back of his neck and began running them through his hair as our lips continued to collide in a passionate kiss. I heard the toolbox drop as he re-positioned himself on top of me. He now had one hand on the back of my neck and one on my hand. I was now lying flat on the couch, with Cole on top. I am not sure how long we kissed, but when I finally came up for air, I knew it had been too long.

  Fighting an internal battle, I knew I had to stop us from continuing. If I didn’t stop now, I wouldn’t stop at all. Going beyond an innocent kiss could only lead us to places neither one of us were prepared to explore. Pushing him off me, I scooted back against the armrest. “Cole,” I began as I tried to catch my breath. My chest was rapidly moving up and down and Cole was experiencing the same dilemma, too. “Cole, we have to stop doing that.” I said, trying my hardest not to pull him back on top of me again.

  Shaking his head, Cole let out a frustrated laugh. He brushed a few strands of loose hair away from his face as he looked at me. “I know; you keep telling me that,” he said, a hint of anger in his tone. “I don’t know why you fight it. We like to kiss. We are friends. We care about each other. Can’t we just let things happen and see where they go?” he asked, again his voice etched with frustration.

  I sighed and threw my head back. I stared at the ceiling as I fought back tears. “We have been over this. I care about you. I love your friendship. But, anything more than friendship is not an option. I don’t want to complicate things, or hurt you. If this is too hard we can...”

  Cole moved forward and placed one finger on my lips, hushing me. “Don’t say it. I will take your friendship, as frustrating as it is, over losing you and not being in your life.” His face was so close to mine that if I only inched myself forward a little bit, I could kiss him again. Shaking my head, I tried to erase that thought from my head. It was thoughts like that, that put us in these complicated situations.

  “Okay.” I said, removing his finger from my mouth. “We kissed. The moment is over. As much as I know our bodies don’t agree with my heart, we can only be friends. I cherish your friendship and it would devastate me to lose you. Let’s just move on.” I said, as I pushed myself even further into the couch cushion.

  “Fine,” he grumbled as he picked his toolbox off the floor and placed it upright. “Well, if we can’t make out, then what do you want to do?” he asked, a sly grin appearing on his face. Again, Cole could shove any awkward moments between us away easily.

  “Well, it is Christmas Eve. How about we make more Christmas Cookies then watch A Christmas Story. It is sort of a tradition for me. When I was a kid, we would make cookies and watch that movie after opening presents.” I smiled remembering my childhood full of happy holiday memories.

  “Yeah, I never had that as a kid. But it sounds fun. Maybe you can teach me your holiday traditions.” Cole stated, a tiny glimmer of hope in his eyes.

  “Sure,” I replied. “You would love Christmas with my parents. Maybe next year you could come over and see our tree. My mom always gets the biggest tree and decorates it beautifully. My dad strings white lights outside and inside we decorate in festive decorations.”

  “I would love that.” Cole replied, his big smile appearing again. Maybe inviting Cole next year to my family Christmas was a little excessive, but I didn’t care. We were friends.

  And with that, we moved into the kitchen where we made cookies before watching my favorite Christmas movie. We stayed up until midnight and wished each other a Merry Christmas before Cole left for the night and I retreated back to my bedroom, alone.

  It was the first time in a very long time, that I wished someone were in my bed with me. Not just to calm the fire growing deep inside me, but to hold and comfort me. Hell, who was I kidding? I didn’t just want anyone with me right now. I wanted Cole. And, this scared me more than anything I could imagine, but I didn’t care about the hurt that loving Cole could bring. Damn, I am really in trouble.

  15

  I was thankful that Christmas break was short this year. As much as I love the holiday, I was ready to get back to some type of normalcy
in my life. Lauren had returned, giddy and excited about her first holiday with Isaac. Of course, her parents had loved him and accepted him with open arms. My parents, who were upset I didn’t join them in Colorado for Christmas, were eager to hear more about my holiday with Cole. They were definitely reading more into it then necessary. They begged me to introduce my new “friend” to them as my mother said, emphasizing friend like I was a kid announcing my first boyfriend.

  After hours of begging and taunting from Lauren, I had agreed to have dinner with my parents on New Year’s Eve, before Cole and I would go to Isaac’s party. I agreed to bring Cole who after telling him this plan, seemed really excited.

  “So what should I wear?” Cole asked, as we talked on the phone later that evening. I had finished editing a terrible manuscript sent to us from a local restaurant owner who wanted to write a book about his culinary experiences. I was thankful for Cole’s interruption.

  Giggling, I stood and began pacing the room, looking into my own closet each time I passed. “Just wear your usual uniform. Jeans and a t-shirt. You don’t have to impress my parents.” I said, secretly looking for one of my cutest outfits.

  “Well, you said your parents have money and I don’t want to walk into their house looking like a bum.” He said, a hint of nervousness caressing his voice. “I just don’t want to embarrass you,” he added.

  I paused, not sure what to say to this. I couldn’t believe he would think I would ever be embarrassed by him. “Cole,” I began, before clearing my throat. “Don’t say things like that. You have a lot to be proud of. I will come over tomorrow before we go to dinner and help you pick out something to wear.” I said, trying to ease his worry and my own heart.

  “Okay, that sounds good.” He said, relief now washing over him. “I will see you tomorrow. Have a good night.” he added before ending our conversation.

  I went to call out for Lauren, but quickly realized she was at Isaac’s house, again. I was alone and I needed my best friend to help me pick out the perfect outfits for New Years. Deciding to just get over my pity party, I began digging through my closet until I finally selected a tight silver sweater and black skirt with knee high black boots. I wanted to look sexy for the party, but still presentable to my parents.

  Happy with my outfit, I crawled into bed and fell asleep secretly fantasizing about Cole’s reaction when he saw me tomorrow.

  The next morning, I woke early and began preparing for my day. I went to the gym, got my hair cut and styled and then cleaned the apartment before getting ready to go to Cole’s apartment. Lauren had appeared back at our apartment sometime that afternoon, but she only stayed long enough to shower, pack a new bag of clothes, and tease me about spending New Year’s Eve with Cole and my parents.

  “So you are introducing Cole to your parents tonight, huh? I guess that means it’s official right?” she teased as she pulled a black dress off one of her hangers. I stood in the doorway to her bedroom and rolled my eyes.

  “Shut up,” I laughed. “Cole and I are friends. My parents just want to meet him. We will come to the party after dinner, but we are only going as friends.” I added.

  “Sure,” Lauren said, as she huffed past me and began looking for shoes in my bedroom closet. I followed behind her, ready to argue.

  “I am serious,” I stated. “We are just friends. Why won’t anyone believe that?” I shrieked.

  “Yeah, friends with benefits,” she snickered.

  I huffed and crossed my arms, with nothing to argue, I secretly hated the fact that I shared way too much information with her.

  Laughing, Lauren reached for a pair of my black Stiletto heels and brushed past me again, going back to her room where she began placing my shoes inside her bag. “Maybe, no one believes the, ‘we are just friends’ act because it is not true. Come on, what are you going to do at midnight when the ball drops? Just stand there and watch everyone else in the room kiss? No, Cole will kiss you. You will kiss him back. Then argue that the kiss meant nothing. I know you, Mel. You have to get over this fear of loving someone else. He won’t break your heart. Maybe you two could be amazing.” She said, her face turning serious now.

  I opened my mouth to argue, but decided against it. Noticing this, Lauren only smiled wider and walked past me and toward the front door of our apartment. “See you and Cole tonight,” she said as she shut the door. I stood in the hall, staring at the door and wishing I had said something to her. But what could I have said?

  Deciding I would just have to deal with Lauren later, I ran back to my room and dressed and then grabbed my car keys and left for Cole’s.

  Once at Cole’s, I knocked on his door and was greeted by a very handsome man.

  “Um, excuse me but I am looking for Cole,” I teased as he stood in the doorway, his hand hovered on the door. His hair was perfectly styled so that his curls were now managed and sleeked back. He wore a pair of dark denim jeans and a charcoal gray sweater. He wore black dress shoes that were obviously new. I could tell they were recently purchased, but I didn’t want to ask.

  His eyes trailed down my body, slowly and I felt my stomach begin to tense under his gaze. “Wow,” he said. “You look great.”

  Smiling, I pushed past him and walked inside his apartment. Giving him a slow, look over, I smiled. “You look really nice.”

  “Really?” he asked, looking down at himself. “Is it ok?”

  “Yes,” I agreed. “Let’s go so we are not late for dinner.” I said, reaching for his hand.

  We walked outside and Cole began heading toward his car. “Hey,” I called to him. “I drove here; I can drive us to my parent’s house.”

  Shaking his head, Cole continued to walk toward his truck. “No, I am driving tonight.” He said, never stopping. Running behind him, I followed him to his truck and attempted to get in. Instead, Cole rushed up behind me and shoved his way in front of the vehicle.

  Confused, I gave him a startled expression. “What are you doing?” I asked.

  “I want to open your door.” He said as he reached across me and placed his hand on the door handle. “A woman should always have their doors opened for them.”

  My eyes widened and I found myself speechless. Laughing, Cole noticed my bewildered expression.

  “It’s ok. You don’t have to do that,” I countered.

  “Whatever. I am going to open your damn door so just get over it,” he grumbled as he opened the truck door and motioned for me to get in. “You can be such a pain,” he stated as he closed the door once I was safely inside.

  Rolling my eyes, I stuck my tongue out at him like a child. I decided not to argue with him. Cole was stubborn, and I knew it would only lead to a fight and we didn’t have time for that.

  When we arrived at my parent’s house, I noticed Cole staring at the houses on my street. “This is a really nice neighborhood,” he said, his voice quiet.

  “Yeah, it is.” I said, hoping I didn’t sound pretentious.

  We got out of his truck and walked up the stone pathway leading to the front door of my childhood home. The sun was beginning to set behind the clouds as the bitter December air bit through us. Even though it was almost dark outside, the porch lights provided just enough light for me to make out the Holly Berry bushes lining the pathway. A colorful red and silver wreath hung on our massive oak front door, greeting us with holiday cheer. Cole continued to glance around, like he was in a museum or something. I watched as he took in the large, two story brick home with strong admiration. His eyes traveled to the two car garage where my mom’s shiny red BMW and my dad’s black Denali were parked.

  Staring up at the home, I was suddenly flooded with images and memories from my childhood. I remembered, so many times, walking up the stone pathway and rushing into my home to share a story or event with my mom. Not long ago, I had walked through those same doors with friends from high school, some who I was best friends with and swore we would remain BFF’s forever. However, many of those friends I hadn’t sp
oken to in years.

  The yard, which was covered with a light misting of snow, reminded me of the many times I would build snowmen in the winter or play tag with my friends. All of my fond memories from childhood and my teenage years were wrapped around this one place, where now, I was going back to as I began to create a new chapter in my life as an adult.

  Offering a smile, I looked back and tugged on his jacket sleeve reminding him to continue walking. When we stepped inside the house, Cole’s eyes grew large as he took in the large and very grand space. An open foyer that led all the way to a second story balcony that overlooked the space, greeted us. The beige painted walls contained family portraits and pieces of artwork from all different cultures and tastes. The hardwood floors creaked under our steps as we walked to a coat rack and began hanging our winter coats. I wasn’t sure what he was so impressed with. Sure, my parent’s had a nice house and it was clean. But, it is not like he entered into a multi-million-dollar mansion.

  Reaching for his hand, I pulled him toward the kitchen where I could already smell a delicious aroma of meat and a sweet dessert. I could hear my mom and dad talking as we came closer. “Come on, they don’t bite.” I teased as he placed his hand in mine and allowed me to lead him down the hall.

  “Mom. Dad.” I called as we entered the large kitchen. My mom was standing near the stove, carving a roast she had been cooking while my dad stood at the island in the center of the kitchen stacking plates to be carried to the kitchen table.

  “Melanie,” my mom shouted, as she put down her carving knives and ran over and hugged me. Taking a step back, she pulled Cole in for a hug too. His eyes were wild with shock as he allowed her to embrace him. “Hi, you must be Cole. We are so happy to meet you.” She stated, as she pulled away and stepped back to the stove.

  Lending his hand, my dad shook Cole’s hand and introduced himself. “Glad to meet you Cole.” My dad said as he leaned against the black granite counter-top. His belly had grown since the last time I had seen him and his hair had more specks of gray, obvious signs of years of a stressful job.