by Emma Quinn
Alana snorted. “It’s their job to deal with wild and contrary children! And Lottie isn’t really that contrary. She’s just too smart for her own good. And she’s only wild until you tire her out. She was pooped after the pool today!”
Jack watched Alana with an unreadable expression on his face. “Alana,” he said, and the way he said it made delicious shivers crawl up Alana’s spine. “Do you like my daughter?”
Alana turned to look him in the eye. “Yes,” she replied. “And I’m not just saying that because you pay me.”
Jacked laughed softly. “You may be the first one,” he said.
“Well, then, I’ll have to love her even more to make up for the rest of them,” Alana replied stubbornly, before she could even process what she’d said. Luckily the kettle boiled right at the minute so she could turn away and busy herself with the tea.
She hadn’t realized she felt so strongly about the little girl! But Lottie reminded her so much of herself when she was young. It was impossible not to feel for her.
“Thank you,” said her boss, his voice suddenly much closer.
Startled, Alana turned to find Jack just behind her.
“Please look after my little girl,” he said, staring down into Alana’s eyes.
He was altogether too close for comfort. Alana could smell his spiced cologne and see the lines of his muscular arms and torso under the delicate fabric of his pale blue linen button-down. She looked up into his dark eyes and nodded. “Of course,” she said, praying that her voice wouldn’t crack and betray her.
“Thank you,” he said again and, with one last heart-stopping smile, he turned to go. “Good night, Alana,” he said as he left the kitchen.
“Good night,” she replied faintly, hoping he couldn’t hear her thudding heart.
When she was sure he was gone, she leaned her forehead against the cabinets with a soft groan. Oh my God, get a grip, Alana! You’re a professional! she thought to herself. Then, resignedly: It’s a good thing he’s almost never here.
4
A
lana found herself eating her words that weekend when Lottie’s father turned up unexpectedly at lunch on Saturday.
Even Lottie couldn’t hide her surprise. “Dad?” she asked, raising her big grey eyes from her sandwich. “What are you doing here? I thought you were going to be gone all weekend.”
Her father smiled, settling himself next to her at the table. “I was supposed to be, but then I figured I’d rather spend it with you.”
You could tell Lottie was trying to hide her joy, but she couldn’t keep her smile under wraps. Her face glowed with happiness and Alana smiled to see it. Whatever the reason for Jack’s unexpected arrival, she was glad for it.
“So, what were you guys planning to do today?” Jack asked, turning slightly to include Alana in the conversation.
Lottie looked at Alana and Alana nodded at her charge. Lottie grinned. “We’re going to the Natural History Museum!” she said.
“The Natural History Museum?” her father repeated, unable to hide his surprise. Though whether he was surprised by their choice of activity or by his daughter’s enthusiasm, Alana wasn’t sure.
“Yeah,” said Lottie. “We’re learning about rocks in school and I’ve decided I want to be a geologist, though maybe a geologist-slash-archeologist because I like dinosaurs too. Anyway, Alana said we could go to the natural history museum to see the rocks and fossils and everything. I have to do a project on my favorite kind of rock and this way I get to see all the rocks ever and make sure I’m making the right choice.” As Lottie talked she got more and more excited, shifting around in her seat and using her hands to gesture, just like a normal, happy kid.
Alana looked down at her plate to hide her smile. It filled her heart to see Lottie so happy and enthusiastic. She’d been excited when Alana had suggested the museum, but not quite so excited. But Alana knew she would never replace the girl’s mother in her heart. And that was okay – it was for the best. Alana wasn’t Lottie’s parent, no matter how much she grew to love the girl, and it wouldn’t be fair to Lottie if Alana tried to become one.
“Wow,” said Jack, nodding along to Lottie’s excited chatter. “Rocks and dinosaurs, huh?”
“Yeah! Do you know what my favorite dinosaur is, Daddy?” Lottie asked.
Stegosaurus, Alana thought quietly to herself. Lottie had recently discovered the spine-backed dinosaur and had taped a picture of one next to her bed.
“Uhhh, T-Rex?” her father guessed at random.
Lottie clicked her tongue, unimpressed. “Ugh, no, that’s so basic, Dad. Stegosaurus, obviously. They have these super cool plates that stand up along their spine and maybe even help them stay cool on hot days but we don’t know for sure.”
“Really?” her father asked, smiling at his precocious child. “I had no idea. You’re going to have to show me at the museum.”
Lottie paused. “You’re coming to the museum with us?” she asked, clearly surprised.
“I mean, if that’s okay?” her father smiled. “Or is this a girls-only thing?”
Lottie glanced at Alana and Alana smiled again. “No, you can come,” Lottie replied graciously.
Alana did her best not to laugh at Lottie’s imperious tone of voice, but a little squeak escaped her. Jack caught her eye and smiled conspiratorially, making Alana’ heart flutter uncontrollably in her chest, but she gave him a quick smile in return, determined not to be undone by her treacherous body. He’s your boss, he’s your boss, he’s your boss, she reminded herself.
One of things that made Alana such a sought-after nanny, was that she had an impeccable record. She had never acted unprofessionally in her life. There were no petty thefts or affairs with the bosses on her record. And she was determined to keep it that way. While there was obviously no way Alana would ever steal something – from the family she was working for or anyone else – the whole “no affairs” was, for the first time, proving harder than anticipated.
Not that she thought Jack was interested in her. She harbored no allusions there. But she couldn’t deny that something in her was very interested in him.
Well, that something would just have to get over itself, because nothing was going to happen.
After lunch, the three of them got into Lottie’s favorite of her father’s cars (a red Porsche) and they sped off into town, Jack at the wheel and Lottie in the passenger seat, her face pressed against the window as she watched the trees flit by, and Alana in the back seat, smiling as she watched Lottie happily calling things out to her dad.
“A yellow car!” Lottie called as they passed a yellow mini heading in the opposite direction. “Oooh, when I’m a grown up can I have a yellow car, Daddy?”
Jack laughed. “Sure thing, sweetheart,” he said. “Or would you rather have a stegosaurus?”
Lottie sat back down on her bottom and gave her father an unimpressed look. “Stegosauruses don’t exist anymore, Dad,” she informed her father. “They’re ext-tinct,” she said, over-enunciating the word in her attempt to say it correctly.
“Oh, sorry,” said her father laughing. He caught Alana’s eye in the rear view mirror and smiled. “My mistake.”
Lottie glanced at her father, then back at Alana, then back at her father. “I can get a yellow car just like Alana’s and then Alana and I can go for picnics in New York. And also maybe California and Florida!” she said, clapping her hands together.
“That’s a bit of a drive just for a picnic,” Alana laughed. “We’d have to have a couple picnics on the way.”
Lottie frowned. “How far is it to California?” she asked.
“Pretty far,” said her father. “It’d probably take you at least a week to drive all the way there.”
“A week??” Lottie gasped. “Hmmm. Well, maybe we could just go have lunch in the back yard.”
“Sounds good to me,” said Alana, grinning.
“What about me?” Jack asked. “Am I invited to this picnic?”
Lottie shrugged, picking at her red cotton tights. “Yeah, of course. If you’re not too busy.”
Jack looked down at his daughter and ruffled her hair with one hand. “I’ll make sure to clear my schedule, sweetheart,” he said.
Lottie beamed up at him. “And we can make sandwiches with no crusts on them!”
“My favorite kind of sandwich,” her father agreed.
Boston’s Natural History Museum was huge and Lottie was thrilled, running from case to case as Jack and Alana followed behind more slowly.
“This was a great idea,” Jack said softly as they walked. “She’s so excited.”
“Look, Daddy! This one has fangs!” Lottie’s voice echoed from behind a case with taxidermy snakes.
“Wow!” Jack called ahead.
“Thanks,” said Alana, even as she shook her head. “But she’s a lot more excited about you being here than about the museum, I think.”
Jack slanted a look at her out of the corner of his eye and Alana wondered if he’d taken what she’d said as criticism. She winced inwardly.
“And this one’s blue!!” came Lottie’s disembodied voice.
“You’re going too fast for us!” Jack called.
“That’s because you’re old!” Lottie replied, laughing to herself.
Alana shook her head. She was glad there was no one else around that day because she was sure Lottie’s yelling would have annoyed them, but she just didn’t have the heart to rain on the little girl’s parade. Not today.
“Do you think I’m a bad parent?” Jack asked suddenly.
Alana’s steps faltered and she hesitated. “I…no,” she said finally. “No, I just think you’re very busy,” she replied.
Jack laughed sardonically. “You’re very diplomatic,” he said after a moment.
“Well,” Alana retorted, “would you say you’re not a busy man?”
This time, Jack’s laugh was genuinely amused. “Oh, I am that. But it’s a bad excuse. I should make more time for her. I just…sometimes she reminds me so much of her mother and it’s…well, it’s hard.”
Alana nodded. “But that’s not Lottie’s fault,” she pointed out as gently as she could.
Jack nodded too. “I know. God, I know. Poor kid. She’s so smart and funny and these last few years I’ve pushed her away. But I’m really trying not to do that anymore. I’ve gotten over the worst of my grief and I’m realizing that I need to be a father to my daughter. Helen would slap me if she saw the way I’d treated Lottie these last few years.”
Alana assumed Helen was Lottie’s mother. “I’m sure she’d understand. Grief does crazy things to us.”
Jack looked at her, his dark eyes staring into hers. Alana swallowed but didn’t look away. “You sound like you know that from personal experience,” he said softly.
“Ewwwww, look at this!!!” said Lottie, already in the next room.
“Coming, sweetheart!” her father called, but his eyes were still on Alana.
Alana shrugged, finally looking away. “Yeah,” she said at last. “I do.”
“I’m sorry for that,” was all Jack said and he sounded like he meant it.
“It was a long time ago,” said Alana, glad that he hadn’t pried. Talking about her mom was still not something that came easily to her.
“Is that why you’re so patient with Lottie?” Jack asked.
Alana laughed. “It’s my job to be patient,” she said. “But, yeah, I might just have a little bit of extra sympathy when she acts out. Though, to be honest, she’s been pretty good lately. Hasn’t given me very much grief at all.”
“I know,” said Jack, shaking his head. “I really can’t believe it. She’s like a whole different child with you.”
“I don’t treat her like a child,” Alana said. “I let her make her own decisions. I mean, up to a point. But I think she knows that I’ll listen and respect her choices. And if I don’t agree I’ll give her a good reason for it. And that really helps. With, like, any kid.”
“How did someone so young get so wise?” Jack asked, smiling down at her.
Alana felt a blush rise in her cheeks and looked down at her feet. “Nah, come on! You’re not that much older than me! How did someone so young get so rich, is my question!”
Jack laughed. “He inherited half of it, that’s how,” he replied.
“It’s your family’s house, then?” she asked.
“No, it was Helen’s family’s house. But Lottie would not leave it. And, to be honest, these days I’m glad we didn’t. I have a lot of good memories there. And it seems to be one of the few places that Lottie is truly happy.”
He was silent for a few minutes then spoke again. “Eleanor hates it, though. Says it reminds her of an over-the-top BBC costume drama.”
Alana didn’t say anything, unsure of how to reply. Finally, she settled for, “That’s too bad.” But even as the words came out of her mouth, she cringed. They sounded so lame.
But, before Jack could reply, they finally caught up to Lottie. The little girl was standing with her backpack open at her feet as she stood, frowning in concentration and drawing a bat from the case in front of her in a very unnatural shade of turquoise.
“Wow, that looks great,” said Alana, peering over Lottie’s shoulder.
Without looking up, Lottie pushed Alana away with one hand. “I’m not done yet!! Don’t look!”
“Oh, sorry, sorry. My mistake,” said Alana backing away and giggling. This time it was her who caught Jack’s eye and they both grinned over Lottie’s owed head.
“Ugh, I can hear you guys having some weird silent grown up conversation,” Lottie said in the ensuing silence. She looked up and glared at them. “I can’t concentrate with you guys here!”
“Jeeze, okay,” said Alana, laughing as she put up her hands. “We’ll go look at, uh, those bears. Yell when you’re done.”
“Okay,” said Lottie, immediately returning to her drawing.
Suppressing laughter, Jack and Alana crept off to go look at a taxidermy grizzly bear on the other side of the room. As they stood, looking up at the giant animal, Jack’s shoulder brushed hers and she got a faint wave of his subtle, spiced cologne. Alana shifted, trying to imperceptibly put distance between her and her boss. The combination of his closeness and the scent of his cologne was doing a number on her self-control. Her panties were starting to feel decidedly moist.
He’s your boss, he’s your boss, he’s your boss, and you need this job!!! She reminded herself. Plus he has a drop-dead gorgeous bombshell for a girlfriend! He is so not into you!
Completely unaware of her furious inner monologue, Jack bumped his shoulder against hers in a casual call for attention. “Look,” he said, pointing to the sign. “Apparently these guys can get up to over two meters tall.”
“Wow,” Alana squeaked, hoping she didn’t sound as breathless as she felt.
“I would not want to meet one of those on a picnic in California, that’s for sure!” Jack joked.
Alana chuckled and prayed that Lottie would finish her drawing soon.
Almost as if she could hear her nanny’s thoughts, Lottie called: “Okay, I’m done! You can come back now!”
Silently, Alana sighed with relief and immediately turned towards Lottie. If she headed back to her charge faster than was really necessary, Jack didn’t seem to notice.
After the museum, they stopped for lunch at a cute Italian place, Lottie showed off all her drawings (again), Jack and Alana told her how amazing they all were (again), they all ate pasta and Alana nearly lost her mind trying to keep her feet from accidently brushing Jack’s under the table. All in all, not the most relaxing lunch. But the food was delicious and Lottie was over the moon.
But her expression fell as they arrived back home and she spotted Eleanor’s sleek silver sports car parked in the drive.
“Are you guys going out for dinner?” she asked her father, her voice quiet, but not sullen as it often had been before.
/> Jack glanced at his daughter. “We were thinking about it. But I think I’d rather just stay in. We can all eat together. And maybe watch a movie, how does that sound?” he smiled at Lottie.
“I don’t think Eleanor will like that,” said Lottie, getting out of the car without another word.
Jack tried to catch Alana’s eye in the rear view mirror again, but she was already out the door, following Lottie.
Catching up with the little girl on the steps, she laid a hesitant hand on the girl’s shoulder. She didn’t always react well to being touched. But, to Alana’s surprise, Lottie reached up and took Alana’s hand in hers.
“You wanna work on my rock project together before dinner?” Lottie asked quietly, without looking up.
“For sure I do,” said Alana, squeezing Lottie’s fingers gently. “Which rock are you going to choose?”
But Lottie’s answer was cut off as the front door opened and Eleanor appeared.
“There you are!” she said, barely glancing at Lottie before looking past her to Jack, who was just catching up. “I’ve been waiting for nearly an hour.”
Jack looked at his watch. “Well, dinner’s not for ages yet, darling. If I’d known…”
“I texted you,” said Eleanor.
“Sorry,” said Jack, looking contrite. “We were in town. We went to the Natural History Museum.”
Eleanor raised her eyebrows, finally glancing down at the Lottie again. “You should have taken her shopping, Jack. She’s in desperate need of new clothes. Those ones look like she found them in a dumpster.”
Alana bit her tongue, but fumed inwardly. Lottie was wearing her favorite red tights and a dress patterned with cartoon panda bears eating bamboos. Not stylish, maybe, but comfy and, more importantly, her favorites. The kid’s eight, Alana thought to herself. Who cares what she wears on a Saturday afternoon? Plus, Lottie would be hurt that Eleanor insulted her favorite outfit, even if she’d done it without knowing.
Totally unaware that she may have hurt Lottie’s feelings, Eleanor knelt down and gave her a saccharine smile. “Would you like that, honey?” she cooed at Lottie. “Would you like to go shopping with me and we can pick you out something pretty to wear?” Without rising, Eleanor glanced up at Alana and said, in a normal voice, “You really should take better care of how you dress her.”
