Broken Open

by Lauren Dane

  “I’m a man dating a gorgeous black woman. It’s probably jealousy.”

  She shook her head. “Ezra, you need to always remember something. Bigots are ignorant. It’s why they’re bigots. You start threatening their reality and some of them lose their shit. You just can’t go around punching racists because some of them want the excuse to do you harm. That is my reality. If I don’t operate with that reality at the forefront of my mind the consequences can be pretty dire.”

  He freed one of his hands to shove it through his hair. “Okay. All right. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that while I knew racism was a problem, I didn’t really get what you have to live with every day.”

  “And you still don’t. You can’t.” She kissed him again. “But you’ll see it from a new angle now and I want you to be prepared.”

  He frowned and she wanted to laugh all the sudden. He was so perplexed when he couldn’t control every aspect of something. There was something so sweet about that even though it was annoying, too.

  “Well, did my dad get to hit him at least?”

  “He reached out and grabbed the guy’s collar and shirt.” She showed Ezra what she meant. “And then just sort of picked him up and chucked him back a few feet. It was pretty awesome. He was kind of my hero right then.”

  He hugged her. “Good. You need heroes.”

  She squeezed him, burrowing into him as much as she could. He rumbled then and it made her smile. As he’d intended most likely.

  “Hey, boys and girls! Exciting night, huh?” Paddy and Natalie approached. “Dad just called but we were already on our way over here after Natalie got your voice mail, Tuesday.”

  Natalie knew Tuesday would hate it if she tried to hug her or make a big deal out of the situation. It did suck, but making a big deal out of it would just draw more attention and make it worse.

  Michael Hurley had done what was right and she would not forget it. But she didn’t want to dwell on it.

  “We just rolled up from the great coyote hunt.” Damien came over. “We should all have dinner.”

  “Yeah, Mary is at my house with some food. That’s why we’re here.” Paddy looked his brother over carefully.

  “I’m a mess. Give me five minutes to tidy up and get some lipstick on and we’ll walk over.”

  Natalie linked her arm through Tuesday’s. “I’ll come with you because I know you’re hoarding that tube of red I gave you for your birthday.”

  “That’s not hoarding, Natalie. You give someone a gift it’s theirs to use how they wish. But I have it in my bag and you can use some because you’re adorable.”

  She looked over to Ezra. “We can make the pizza another day. I’ll be back in a few.”

  He stalked over and Natalie scampered away with a squeak when Ezra hauled Tuesday to him and laid a searing-hot kiss on her.

  There was so much in that kiss it was all she could do to hold on to his biceps as he devastated her with his mouth. Left her totally bare and broken open. He looked into the heart of all that and he kissed her like there was nothing else in the world he could do. He kissed her like he needed her to survive. Like her taste was the best in all the world.

  “I’ll be waiting.” He set her back and she blinked up at him as she gulped.

  “O-okay.”

  Natalie was at her side again, linking arms. “Lean on me because I bet you got some rubber knees right about now.”

  Tuesday laughed as they headed inside. Loopy showed up, shadowing her through the house, protecting and defending.

  “My bag is in Ezra’s room. Hang on.”

  Natalie paused at the end of the hall leading to Ezra’s room, gaping at the ornate glory of those double doors.

  “I know. Wait until you see the rest.”

  “It smells really good in here. My god, what does he use?” Natalie puttered around Ezra’s room, looking around as Tuesday found the lipstick and pulled out her little spray bottle of the oil she used to make her hair happy after a hard day.

  “Right? It’s some essential oil with bergamot and myrrh and something else.” Tuesday pointed to the plain little brown bottle of oil. “I look horrible. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “You look like you’ve been crying but that’s mainly because I know you so well. I’m really biting my tongue right now because I know you don’t want to do this here and now. You look like someone who had something upsetting happen to her less than an hour ago. Not in a weak way. You’re still pretty.”

  Tuesday pressed a cool, wet washcloth to her eyes and snorted. “Obviously. It takes a lot more than FSB to make me look anything less than fabulous.”

  Natalie put her head on Tuesday’s shoulder briefly. “People are dicks. What’s FSB for?”

  “I was just saying this to Ezra earlier today about people being dicks. FSB is feed-store bigot. I think his name was Gary.”

  “Whatever his name, he’s a lesser.”

  “You speak true.” Tuesday spritzed her hands and rubbed them together before getting her hair back in order.

  She caught Nat’s eye in the mirror’s reflection. “Heywood stuff, too.”

  Nat’s expression darkened. “What are those fucknuts up to now?”

  Tuesday braced herself and then told Natalie about the phone call she’d got from Tina right after she’d pulled up in Ezra’s driveway.

  “Why didn’t you tell me? That woman. Oh my god. Block her number!”

  “I know. I know I should. I guess part of me still feels a responsibility to Eric to be nice. Even though she’s awful.”

  “Fuck her.”

  “No thanks.”

  “Stop talking to her. I mean it. Block their number, block her email. Stop letting them cut you up for kicks. You don’t owe them anything and I don’t even care what Eric might have thought. He’s dead, Tuesday, and his family has no right to do this.”

  Tuesday knew this was true. Felt it. Said the same to Tina even.

  She decided not to tell Nat about the reaction she’d got when she’d told them she was changing her name back to Easton. It would just upset her friend and in turn, upset Tuesday.

  Enough for the day.

  “I should tell Diana about this.”

  “Yeah? How about you stop letting your grandmother fuck you over and then we can talk.”

  “You’re vicious.”

  Tuesday nodded. “Yep. But you’re right. I know you are. Which doesn’t mean I’m not serious about you cutting your family out like a diseased organ.”

  Nat held her hands up in surrender. “Ugh. Okay. Truce. Tomorrow let’s go out somewhere. How about we get manicures.”

  She looked down at her hands. She kept her nails short and usually painted with light colors because she was constantly chipping them as she worked.

  “Good call.”

  Tuesday took the tube of lipstick Natalie handed over. An expensive brand she would never buy for herself but Natalie gifted her with from time to time.

  “I’m ferocious. I’m dark and broody and broken,” she whispered as she slid it over her bottom lip, leaving a bright red shine in its wake.

  “What?” Natalie had been poking her head into Ezra’s giant shower arena. He called it a stall. But his damned horse could fit in there. “Jeez, this is as big as my whole bathroom.”

  “He likes pleasure.” She smiled at herself in the mirror when she said it.

  “Jeez-a-lou. You can’t say stuff like that and not share what you mean.”

  “I mean sex, Nats. The man is a fucking machine. That giant shower is just a glimpse of just how much Ezra likes to feel good. His bed was custom made so it’s like a third bigger than even the biggest king bed.” She looked behind her at the closed bedroom door. “He told me he liked all the room to spread me out and lick every part of me.”

  Natalie fanned her face.

  “So, despite the Heywoods and FSB, my life is pretty freaking good, complete with heaping helpings of super-duper hot fucking.”

  “Yay for happy
but the stupid is still there. Makes me want to flip tables and burn things down.”

  Tuesday laughed as she left the bathroom to grab the extra shirt she’d tucked into her bag. “I brought an extra in case I got dirty when I was out riding.” Or to wear home in the morning. “A skittish horse and a dramatic public scene in front of my boyfriend’s dad can make a girl sweat.”

  She pulled her blouse off and changed into the spare, bright blue and sleeveless.

  “Feel better?” Natalie asked as she finished up, tossing her stuff back into her bag.

  “Yes. Much. But I am so hungry and I didn’t even get to tell you about how well things went today at my stall at the market.”

  Natalie hugged her. “Such a jam-packed day. Come on. We’ll have some food and hang out and you’ll be around people who love you and want to punch FSB. And we can ogle all that Hurley butt.”

  “This is a very good point. Come on then. I know you have junk food at Paddy’s so you better share some.”

  Natalie laughed as they dodged cats once they’d headed back outside. “I will always share my secret junk food with you after a hard day.”

  “True friendship.”

  “Always and forever.”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  ONCE THEY’D GONE inside and he was sure she was out of sight, he gave over to his volcanic rage, storming into his home gym where his bag hung.

  “Wait!” Damien caught his arm as Paddy handed him gloves. “She’ll see it if you don’t use gloves.”

  Nodding, he put on one and Paddy helped him into the other and then he stepped up and began to pummel the bag so hard sweat broke over his face and down his spine. All his rage that anyone would make her upset, threaten her in any way, even to just look at her wrong and make her feel bad wasn’t acceptable.

  Each strike vibrated back up into his body, the concussive force battering what felt like a tsunami of rage. Boom. Boom. Boom. His fists hit the leather. He wanted to be doing this to the man who’d made Tuesday cry.

  He’d seen it in her face when he’d got very close. Her eyes had been a little puffy and red. That someone had done that to her filled him with a murderous need to do something he couldn’t. He hadn’t felt this way since he’d first started to kick.

  A bone-deep ache to do something he simply couldn’t be doing. He wanted it. Could taste the way he’d spin on his heel and head to his truck. He’d tear ass over to the store and beat this dick down.

  He could taste that violence. The unacceptable, dark violence of crunching bones. It wasn’t civil to make those choices. Those choices were always trouble. But he wanted to rain his fists and his rage on this piece of shit.

  Slowly that haze broke away and he eased back, already feeling the exertion in his shoulders. He wouldn’t make stupid choices because he had reasons to make better choices. She was inside his house, putting herself back together because she was a survivor. A badass goddess who hadn’t broken after all the stuff she dealt with, but instead had grown stronger. He hated that she had to, but he admired her spirit. Respected it. And fucking got terrified that she was way out of his league.

  Finally he could breathe again and he stepped back, head tipped to the ceiling as he dragged in lungfuls of air.

  He hadn’t been there. But thank goodness his father had. He needed to talk to his dad but not until he burned off some more of this anger.

  “Dude,” Paddy said. “I think you killed it. Take a rest.”

  “First, she’s out on a ride and her horse got spooked. But she handled it. Then I sent her down to the store because I didn’t want to ruin the surprise and instead some jerk accosts and terrorizes her. I didn’t protect her either time.”

  Paddy threw him a bottle of water from the fridge at his back. Ezra drank it slowly, still putting himself back together.

  “Jesus. Ezra, you think it’s within your powers to what? Control coyotes? You a wizard now?”

  Damien interrupted. “How did she handle it on the horse?”

  She’d been fantastic. Coolheaded. “She’s solid. Capable. She was scared but she listened and handled it. She was fine.”

  Paddy nodded. “She likes horseback riding so she’s not dumb. Sometimes your animal gets spooked. You handle it when it comes up. She did and she did it right. I don’t think she’s upset over that horse and coyote thing anyway.”

  Damien helped Ezra get the gloves off. “How you feel? You hit that bag pretty hard.”

  “I hate that I can’t make it better,” he said, not worried about his hands.

  “Racism?” Damien laughed. “No, Ez, even you can’t end racism to keep it from hurting Tuesday.” He sobered up. “What happened to her was awful. It makes me want to punch someone, too. But you can’t be with her every moment. And it’s not like she didn’t have to deal with this before you came into her life. I understand that you want to protect her from this stuff. I want to protect Mary. Paddy wants to protect Natalie. It’s how this works. But reality sucks sometimes. The truth is, you can’t protect people you care about from everything that will hurt them. We’ll make sure that joker at the feed store gets fired. But if you make a bigger deal out of it, at some point she’s going to feel bad about how you feel. She needs to come to you with this on her terms. You get that?”

  “When the hell did you get so wise?” Ezra stepped out onto the porch and pulled his shirt off. He grabbed the hose and sluiced water over his upper body and hair. The shock of the cold helped him think clearer. Damien was right. He needed to let this be about her feelings and how she wanted to handle it.

  “Love makes us fools and wise men all at once.” Damien bowed when Ezra walked back inside, toweling off.

  “Fuckyeah.” Paddy threw up the rock-and-roll devil horns and Ezra laughed.

  He kept spare shirts out there in the bathroom so he grabbed a clean one, tucking it in. Once his hair was brushed he looked to his brothers.

  “I need to talk to Dad.”

  “He and Mom are going to stop by in an hour, he said. Give us all time to settle. He’s upset, too. He said to keep an eye on you because he wanted to punch the man as well and he knew you’d end up in trouble if you went in search of the guy.” Paddy shrugged. “Then Natalie listened to her voice mail and heard how upset Tuesday was, even though she tried to sound matter-of-fact about the whole scene.”

  “Sure, Paddy, that seems like a great idea to get him all riled up again.” Damien punched him in the arm.

  Paddy shoved him back. “Get off, ballsack.” He continued speaking to Ezra. “I’m saying he’s got enough to take care of right here. That loser is going to get fired and we’ll still be Hurley. Right?”

  Ezra nodded, remembering the pain on her features and the sadness in her voice as she laid out what she had to experience as commonplace. He couldn’t make this disappear for her. But how he reacted could make things worse. He focused on that.

  He heard her voice just then as she came out of the house. Natalie’s joined it as they laughed. Paddy and Ezra both relaxed and then Ezra realized he was having the same exact reactions as Damien and Paddy.

  Which only meant he liked her and she was his girlfriend. He cared about her like they cared about the women they...loved. It was just in a different place in the continuum, that was all. He could like her and not freak out that he was liking her. This feed store business was handled and he needed to let it go. For the time being anyway.

  And then he moved to her because there wasn’t anything else in the world he’d rather have done.

  * * *

  HE SLID AN arm around her shoulders and hers went around his waist. As if they always did that in front of everyone. It was exactly what she’d needed. He made her feel safe and special.

  “Will the animals be all right?”

  “Yes. It’s handled.” Ezra didn’t say what happened but whatever had been done, she knew he’d never be strolling over to dinner if his animals were in danger. “They’re safe and so are you.”

 
He held her a little closer and it did make her feel a lot better though her worries and fears for herself weren’t anything he could protect her from. No one could.

  “By the way, I forgot to say earlier how much I like that shade of red.”

  “Thanks. That’s a new shirt. I like how it’s all snug across your shoulders like the cotton is just, Oh my god how can I not always be laying myself all over Ezra Hurley? Probably rocks and weeps in your closet when you don’t wear it.”

  He laughed. “You’re wearing a new shirt, too.” He dipped, pressing his lips to her ear. “From my angle I can see the edge of your bra. I can tell I’m going to like it.”

  She smiled in the dark as they headed up the road to Paddy’s place but they wended around and ended up approaching from a direction she hadn’t before, coming in through the French doors leading into a first floor sitting room Paddy had put three pinball machines in.

  “I can really go for a few games of pinball after dinner,” she told Ezra as they went down the hall and out into the open kitchen living area.

  Full of people all shouting surprise at her.

  She skidded to a halt, truly surprised.

  “It’s not a birthday party but we do have cake. It’s a we-are-all-so-proud-and-thrilled-for-all-the-great-stuff-going-on-for-Easton-Galleries-and-her-owner party.” Natalie hugged her.

  Two of her dearest friends came toward her, pulling Tuesday into a hug. “You’re here. You look so pretty.” Jenny stood back after a kiss on the cheek. Jenny was a third-grade teacher and lived in Seattle with her wife, Zoe, who was a biologist and the next kiss was from her.

  As was a whispered, “Holy crap, that’s Ezra? He’s like a nuclear testosterone bomb wrapped in velvety smooth hot man skin.”

  Tuesday looked back over her shoulder at him. He stood just about three feet away talking to Damien. “Right. You should see him naked and sweaty.”

  They all laughed and she turned to Natalie, hugging her again. “I know you’re responsible for all this. Thank you. I couldn’t think of a better way to spend tonight at this point.”