Love by Surprise

by Shilpa Mudiganti

  7

  Anshi

  I was way too early. I got off the subway at 42nd street, giving way to all the pedestrians who wanted to rush past me. I walked out of the underground subway tunnel into the maddening rush of yellow taxis and an ocean of people walking past. That was when my nerves first took hold of me. I almost turned back to the obscure, dingy darkness of the subway station under my feet. The journey appealed to me more than the destination, where I would have responsibilities, and the potential for failure.

  The iconic gray building that housed the New York Times office stood proudly in front of me. The broad width of the building took up the whole block. Motivation trickled in and I put one foot in front of the other, forcing myself to move.

  I decided to walk the ten blocks to Ryan’s office on 33rd street. Warm rays of sunshine kissed my skin. It was an odd feeling to be walking along with the professional crowd, rushing to do their jobs. I had never held a "job" before. I never had to. I was always meant to take over Dad's real estate business. A familiar heaviness filled my heart. I recognized the sadness slowly slipping in.

  So, I walked straighter, head held high.

  When I was seventeen, I got a waitressing job at the coffee shop next door. I had boasted about it to my father - more to get a rise out of him than anything else. It didn’t matter that I saw none of the pride in me he used to have before mom’s passing. I thoroughly enjoyed my father's trembling anger as he raged at me for taking such a low-lying job, for his whole attention was on me for those few moments. The next morning, though, I wasn’t enjoying it anymore. He had managed to get me fired even before I started.

  That night, I had run away with my friends, and was found two days later partying at a nightclub.

  I let out a haggard breath and focused on the way my kitten heels sounded on the concrete sidewalk. I needed to steer clear of memories of my past. I was here to build a new future, and that was what I would focus on.

  I stopped in front of an older building, its revolving doors lined with golden metal inviting me in. Suddenly, breathing was a hard thing to do. This was no job taken to spite my father. This was the real deal. My first real attempt to be an adult. A first step in proving to the world that I was no longer fooling around.

  I took a shuddering breath in and exhaled slowly. Thank you, Ryan.

  I pushed through the revolving door, a little slowly for the morning rush around me. The lobby was a large space with all-marble floors and walls. It was clear that the marble was the latest attempt at renovating the old building while preserving yesteryear's charm. Gold-colored elevator doors stood to my right, while a long desk, almost five feet high, stood to my left. After getting my picture clicked and being presented with a plastic card to swipe past the elevator barriers, I knew this place only preserved an outwardly old-fashioned look. Everything else was updated to this century. I still loved the vintage look of everything, though.

  Anticipation built in me as the elevator inched closer to the twelfth floor. Ryan worked with Nisha as her company's CFO. So, he didn’t work from here all the time. In the offer letter packet I received the day after wedding, I had learnt that Ryan owned a floor in the building and leased it to all the startups he invested in at a low rate, and that I would design for all of the startups he invested in. In short, all my clients were here.

  Ryan’s executive assistant, who introduced herself as Lisa, waited for me at a small, tidy desk. We walked past many conference rooms until we reached a glass-walled office.

  As she ushered me into Ryan’s office, I couldn’t help but notice the messy desk. Papers and books were strewn all over the large glass-topped desk.

  “Don’t touch that desk. There’s a method to his madness,” Lisa said, and then added, “apparently.”

  She opened the blinds on the floor-to-ceiling windows and walked to the door. “He should be in soon. Call me if you need anything.”

  I looked around the office, a large, spacious room. The natural light streaming in made it airy despite the rather cluttered desk.

  A long conference table with chairs sat on the opposite end of the room. It could easily accommodate twenty people with enough room to breathe.

  I settled myself on the chair at the desk and took a deep breath, trying to dispel the nerves. It was probably a good thing I was alone. Breathing evenly, I took out the laptop and was plugging my headphones when my phone chimed.

  Running slightly late. Will be there in 10.

  Who's this?

  Who were you expecting to meet today, at this time?

  Ryan?

  Yes, ma'am

  How did you get my number?

  I put the phone away when he didn’t respond. He would be here soon, and that made me even more nervous.e. I paced the room, sure I would throw up any minute.

  What if I failed at the job? What if I looked as stupid as people thought I was? Why was I really here, making a fool of myself in front of the only person who had been genuinely kind to me in the past few years? Maybe I was a glutton for humiliation.

  I rushed to my seat, packing up my laptop quickly, and I had just turned around when I bumped into a solid wall of chest.

  My bag slipped off my shoulder and Ryan caught it with his hand, holding me upright.

  "Were you leaving?" he asked incredulously. I bit down my gasp and stepped back. I tucked my hair behind my ear and took my bag from him. I was surprised that, despite how nervous and torn I felt, I secretly admired his good looks. He was wearing a gray suit with a white shirt, and he filled it all in impressively. The gray of the suit made his blue eyes stand out.

  He looked at me like a parched traveler in a desert.

  "I wasn't leaving,” I lied. “Just going to the bathroom."

  "With your laptop?" he asked, pointing to my bag. The famous smirk was back and I worked hard to stop myself from rolling my eyes at my boss.

  "Is this where I’m going to work every day?" I asked, deflecting the question. He looked around, with hands on his hips.

  "You’ll have a desk. But you’ll mostly be hopping in and out of the other rooms rented out by our startups."

  "Oh, thank you." He nodded and took a seat on the other side of the table.

  I re-settled myself across from him with my laptop. While he dug out his iPad from his bag, I tried not to notice his freshly-shaven jaw, or the way few strands of his windswept hair fell on his forehead. He is my boss, I reminded myself. First-day jitters mixed with attraction to Ryan wasn’t an ideal state for me. I tucked my hands under my legs, hoping the slight shaking I felt would go away soon.

  "So...what are we doing today?" I asked, clearing my throat

  "I’m going to give you a rundown of all the companies on this floor you can help with. But before that, why do you like so pale?" He looked concerned, and it was unnerving. "Did you have breakfast?"

  "Um no. I just..." I fumbled but then added, "Never mind. I think we should get started." I took out my notepad and waited for him to continue.

  I wished he would stop scrutinizing me. My already-shot nerves were stretched to the limit with his attention. Self-doubt consumed me again. Maybe I was not meant to hold any job. Years of hiding had made it nearly impossible to handle any attention, even Ryan's.

  He shut down his laptop and shot to his feet.

  "Let's go have some breakfast. I’m starving, too." He almost sprinted to the door and held it open for me. I sat stunned, unable to comprehend the change in plans. He gave me an uncertain look, as if he regretted his decision to hire me already. I was pretty sure I would have a nervous breakdown if I didn’t tamp down my self-doubts. But it was so much easier to believe them.

  I stood up nervously and walked out of the room. I had half a mind to get my bag as well. I would rather leave right after breakfast than wait until I was fired once again.

  8

  Ryan

  She walked behind me, the click of her heels a reminder that she was actually here with me, in my office, e
ven though she looked like she would bolt at the first chance she got. Her whole demeanor told me she was wound up tight, and I hoped to find the reason why.

  I wanted to be at the office before she arrived, but losing track of time was nothing new to me. Give me a spreadsheet to ogle and the world fades away. This morning was no different; when Nisha assigned me the latest P&L sheet, hoping I would figure out a way to merge an acquisition she was planning to make, I could hardly pull myself away. When my alarm sounded at 8:45 AM, it took me a few seconds to figure out why. And then, I sprinted out the door.

  My office was just a ten-minute walk from Nisha’s. Or, so I remembered. What I forgot about was the construction that had blocked all sidewalks along the way. Sprinting through an alternate route, I left Anshi a text and she immediately replied. She was waiting for me. I was excited. It had been almost a week since I saw her at the wedding. It was a week too long.

  When I bumped in to her, I felt a punch in my gut. She looked mesmerizing. Her hair was tied back, and she had very little makeup on. She had dabbed a light brown on her lips and the color looked perfect on her olive skin.

  But she was running away. Her stuff was packed, and she was just getting to the door when I barged in. Thankfully, she wasn't hurt, but I hurt. She was already trying to run away from me.

  It only got worse from there. The more I talked about work, the more tense she looked. I couldn't take it anymore. It was driving me crazy that I might have something to do with her feeling that way.

  I convinced her to go eat something with me. We walked across the street to an old-fashioned deli with a special waffle menu that was to die for. I often stopped there on my way to work.

  "I hope you like waffles. Lenny's has some of the best in the city." She was so quiet that I had half-expected to turn around and find no one following me.

  "Waffles sound good,"she said, her body tense.

  Breathe. I had to remember to breathe.

  We were shown to my regular table by Maria, the waitress and owner, with a smile.

  "Do you want the regular, Mr. Penn?"

  I smiled back and nodded.

  "And what would you like to have, miss?" Maria looked at Anshi expectedly. I cleared my throat, sensing Anshi was far away, lost in her thoughts. She looked up surprised.

  "Oh sorry...this...this is too much. Can I get black coffee, no sugar?"

  "You sure you don’t want waffles? I’m sure Mr. Penn here can entice you to try some of our specials." Maria winked at me but Anshi, quiet as a mouse, just shook her head. "Very well, then. I will be back with your orders shortly."

  Silence engulfed us as Anshi continued looking at the menu, avoiding my gaze. It was awkward. I didn't imagine being awkward with Anshi. The silence we shared at the wedding was so different.

  "Did you take the train?" I asked, breaking the silence. She nodded and put the menu aside. That was a start. She looked around, her gaze stopping for a few seconds on an older couple, the only other patrons eating a leisurely breakfast at around ten in the morning.

  "Looks like you are a regular here. When do you get the time?"

  "After I go to the gym. I live ten blocks from here."

  "Oh." She swallowed and was about to pick up the menu again when I stopped her. No way was I going to let that little door to normalcy close again.

  "Excited about your first day?"

  She stopped mid-way with the menu in her hand. The laminated single page shook a bit and I was sure now she had first day jitters. I felt much better after that. It wasn't me. It wasn't me.

  "I am excited. Yes."

  "Good. First days are memorable. Do you want to hear how I spent the first day of my very first summer job?" She looked at me expectantly, and when I didn't say a word, a small smile broke out on her face.

  "Are you going to tell me today?"

  "Well, only because you insisted.” I rubbed my hands recalling the excitement of that day. “I took a job as a cashier at a local bookstore. I got another employee arrested for embezzling from the owner.” Her mouth dropped open. “ I earned a free pizza from her along with my $50." I bent a little and pushed her chin up to close her gaping mouth. "I am really good with numbers. It wasn't hard to see the owner was getting cheated."

  "I envy you."

  It was my turn to gape at her. "Did Ms.Jain just admit that I am awesome?" She sat back, hands crossed, and shook her head.

  "I just said I envy you. I envy that you are so smart. People aren’t supposed to have both brains and beauty."

  "Today must be my lucky day - I didn't realize you were so starry-eyed around me. Believe me, I am an easy guy. You can relax while soaking up my awesomeness."

  A big smile cracked across her face, and she looked away with an eye roll. An eye roll was always a good thing, and I sat back, quite pleased with the change in the mood. "But seriously, you have nothing to envy. You are impressive yourself."

  She looked back, the smile wiped off her face. "I am a high school dropout, Ryan." I felt the shock of hearing my name on her lips again and tried to focus on what she was saying. I knew nothing about her and I couldn’t wait to learn more.

  "You can tell me all about it when you’re ready. If you want." Our eyes met, and I was sure whatever she was trying to hide from me was significant enough to cause her the pain I saw in her eyes.

  We were interrupted by Maria, who delivered our orders. My waffles were topped with bananas, chocolate ice cream, and a dollop of whipped cream drenched in chocolate syrup. Anshi almost choked on her coffee as she noticed the little sugar mountain I had in front of me.

  "You actually eat that? That's like ten years’ worth of cholesterol!"

  I stabbed my fork into the gooey chocolate and took a bite of the heavenly waffle. The sugary flavors burst in my mouth. Her gaping resumed.

  "You only live once, Anshi. I figure I might as well enjoy waffles before I die." She went quiet, her eyes on me while she nibbled her lower lip. Just when I thought she couldn't surprise me further, she took her fork and pried a piece off my waffle from my plate. The moment she took a bite, her eyes rolled back and she let out a small sigh. Her eyes shone, and a smile lit up in them.

  "These waffles are worth dying for." And just like that, the mood changed and we both dug into the waffles. Once we had finished them, and I had paid the bill, I had to drag Anshi out of the diner to keep her from ordering a second helping. For all their deliciousness, those waffles were indeed a cholesterol bomb, and eating two in one day was a one-way ticket to a heart attack.

  We settled in at my office. Anshi looked a lot more relaxed than she did before. I presented her our portfolio and told her which company I thought would need help first. She took copious notes.

  “Take a couple of days and send me some of your ideas when you are ready. "

  She nodded, then she opened her laptop, plugged her headphones into it, and got to work. I noticed how carefully she typed everything, and the utter concentration with which she did her work. I wanted to sit and watch her, but I was pretty sure she’d find that creepy. So, I settled for peeking at her periodically and asking her random questions. She looked puzzled at most of them, but I surprised myself with some of them, too. Like the one I thought I shouldn’t ask but still did.

  "Why did you disappear after Arav's engagement?"

  She stopped working, her fingers hovering over the keyboard. She sat up straighter.

  "What do you mean?" she asked, sweeping the keyboard to clear out invisible specks of dust.

  "I looked for you for a full year, and didn't find you until the wedding." Something told me I shouldn't push, but I was beyond curious.

  She tucked a rebellious strand of hair behind her ear. "I was away. Had to tie some loose ends" She averted her gaze again and looked at her notes instead, seeming lost in her very neat handwriting.

  "I tagged along with Arav to visit Nisha at your house, multiple times. I was hoping you would be hiding in one of those enormous rooms that p
alace of yours has."

  "My dad's."

  "Excuse me?"

  "It's my dad's palace. Not mine." She took a deep breath and added, "and I wasn’t there."

  "Right...So where were you?" I bent forward, willing her to meet my eyes but she never moved her gaze from her notes. She started scribbling something in her notebook.

  "None of your business,” she said. “Why were you looking for me anyway? Did your girlfriend ditch you?" Her question was a challenge. And I liked that the idea of me having a girlfriend grated on her.

  "Would that bother you?”

  “You wish,” she snickered. A little dimple formed on her cheek when she gave in to laughter.

  “My ex-girlfriend and I broke up on the night of Arav’s engagement,” I said. “I haven’t had a girlfriend since.”

  9

  Anshi

  My heart sped up at Ryan’s confession that he had been single since we met.

  We had shared a memorable moment that night. I still had that note he left for me, tucked away carefully in my hand bag. It went wherever I went. He didn't have to know about that , or that he was the reason I was back in New York in the first place. But how could I ignore the heated looks he gave me, or the way his eyes begged me to open up more to him?

  "Good for you," I said.

  "Why is that?"

  I fumbled for an answer. The truth was, knowing he wasn’t really seeing anyone made my heart do a happy, shameful dance. I still didn't understand why that extremely attractive woman was his date at Nisha’s wedding, but I knew he was telling the truth.

  "When you stop fooling around, you can find the right woman for you," I said. “And maybe if you don’t flirt with other women in front of her, she won’t dump you.”