Mediteranean Sunset

by Yvette Canoura

  “I was raised in Washington D.C., I lived a very privileged life; went to an all-girls school and college. Wanted to pursue a Master’s in social work and got my dreams cut short because of my marriage. That’s my life in a nutshell.”

  “May I ask, why Fouad?”

  “It was an arranged marriage. Believe me no one was more surprised and disappointed than I was. It had barely been a year since my mother died and I had come home for Eid. My father received a phone call and, next thing I knew, he was telling me that after graduation, I was getting married. An arranged marriage was totally ludicrous to me. My father knew how I felt. I wasn’t brought up under the assumption that I was going to marry a man that had already been hand picked for me.”

  “So, how did it happen?”

  “I don’t know the details. I just remember he was on the phone and sounded very agitated. I loved and respected my father too much to challenge what he had decided for me. On this last visit to Antarah, I hoped to learn the real reason for my union with Fouad. He was going to tell me but never got the chance,” I said breaking down.

  “Don’t cry, Fatima. I hate to see you sad.”

  “I need to talk about it. I just could never understand how this happened. I never liked the military life. I admired my father and his accomplishments but I remember listening to Mama gripe about how lonely she felt when he was in the military and how demanding he was as a result of his environment. Fortunately, I came along when he was already an Ambassador and had an extravagant life. That’s probably when my mother and father started enjoying their marriage. It was more about socializing and entertaining. My mother thrived in the limelight.”

  “Tell me about her.”

  “Her name was Iman; she was a wonderful mother and a kind, beautiful human being. She died, way too soon, of cancer. She kept her illness from me till her last days. I was very hurt because I felt I was robbed of quality time we could have spent together if I had only known. My father and I were very close but it just wasn’t the same without her, especially when the issue of my marriage came along. I feel my mother wouldn’t have allowed it. She would have fought my father on it. I just couldn’t do it. He had already lost my mother and I felt it wasn’t right for me to question his motives. I knew he loved me with all his heart so I believed he would not allow anything bad to happen to his little girl. I truly think he didn’t know what Fouad was capable of.”

  “So, how bad is it?”

  “It’s worse than bad. Since day one, he cheated on me. At first, I felt responsible because I made it obvious that I detested him. With time, I took my friends’ advice and put my all to making it work. There was a time when I really thought we were on track. Then, I walked in on him with another woman. It was the day you and I met.”

  “That explains why you left early that night.”

  “Yes. After that, I just went through the motions but I knew it wasn’t going to be happily ever after. When he got shot, I put my life in perspective. I was willing to forgive and forget. Maybe life was giving us a second chance. Then, I came home early one day and found him with one of his co-workers, a woman I considered a friend. They were laughing and ridiculing me. From what I gathered, this woman was the love of his life and I was just a pawn in his schemes.”

  “Did you confront them?”

  “No. I wanted to find out the truth from my father first so I could tackle the situation in an intelligent manner. But, that day never came. I’m clueless, angry…”

  Suddenly, Brahim stopped the car.

  “Be honest with me. Do you love him?”

  “No. Maybe I did once. I don’t even know. I just know that he used me and for that I despise him.” I paused. “Now you know everything. You can still back out of this. I wouldn’t hold it against you. My life is a mess. I might be involved in a dangerous scheme. I don’t know what my future holds,” I said afraid of being rejected.

  “Whatever the future holds, we’ll face it together. I won’t abandon you. We’ve come this far and I’m not turning back,” he said as he caressed my face and wiped my tears.

  “Brahim.” I started to say as he put his finger over my lips and then got closer and kissed me.

  Our Mediterranean Sunsets

  We arrived at the chalet. It was right on the beach, but I wasn’t familiar with this area, since it wasn’t a “touristy” spot. It was fantastic. Most of the surrounding chalets were vacant because it was too early in the summer. I felt relieved, relaxed, and at peace.

  When Brahim opened the door, I could smell fresh flowers.

  “How do you like my home?” he asked.

  As I looked around, I saw all these beautiful flowers, fresh fruit, colored, candied almonds. Then, I looked out the glass double doors and saw the most breathtaking Mediterranean sunset.

  “I love it. When did you do all of this?” I asked.

  “I can’t take all the credit. My mother prepared everything to my specifications.”

  “Does she know about us?”

  “She knows there is someone,” he said. “I want you to meet her soon.”

  “I’d love that.”

  “Isn’t that the most beautiful sunset you’ve ever seen?” he asked.

  “Everything about this place is enchanting.”

  “I’m happy you are pleased.”

  “Anyplace would make me happy as long as I’m with you.”

  “Come on,” he said taking me by the hand.

  We took our shoes off and ran towards the shore. As the chilly water tickled our feet, we kissed passionately while the sun went down and disappeared in the horizon.

  “Everyday, at this same time, we will stand right here and the Mediterranean sunset will witness every chapter of our love story,” he said.

  “I never imagined you would be such a romantic.”

  “There’s still a lot about me you don’t know but in time you’ll know everything. Let’s go in. Would you like to pray by my side?”

  “Yes.”

  When we returned to the chalet, we did wudu. This ritual is obligatory before engaging in prayer. A person must wash their hands three times, rinse their mouth three times, and then splash water into their nose, forehead, ears, face, arms, and feet. This process has to be repeated three times.

  As I came out of the bathroom, Brahim was laying the two msalaeeh on the floor. This moment of reflection had brought me great inner peace.

  I got up and left Brahim deep in thought.

  “Allah, how could something so wrong feel so right? I know I’m going against Your teachings. I know that I’m committing a sin. Yet, all I could do is ask for Your forgiveness and guidance. I just love her too much and I feel You have brought her into my life so I can protect her and make her happy. Please, show me the way.”

  When I saw Brahim putting the rugs away, I walked up to him and gave him a big hug. We stayed like that for a few minutes.

  “Are you hungry habeebtee?” he asked.

  “A little ayunnee, my eyes.”

  Everything felt so right, so natural. After a light dinner on the deck overlooking the water, we went for a walk on the beach. We held hands as if we never wanted to let go.

  “Habeebtee Fatme, I want you to know there is no pressure. We don’t have to rush anything. We will go at your pace. I don’t want you to regret any moment with me. I want you to be ready and to take every step knowing it is what you want.”

  I rubbed his hands then kissed them softly. “I’m actually a little tired.”

  We went back in.

  “This will be your room. It has a bathroom. I also took the liberty of getting you a few things,” he said.

  “An oversized Boston University t-shirt. How’d you know? I love to sleep in t-shirts.”

  “I brought it with me from the states. I guess all this time I was saving it for you. I al
so got you some scented candles, some rose petals for your bath, slippers and this robe. I want you to relax and pamper yourself. Forget about the world and enjoy our time together.”

  I kissed him on the forehead.

  Then, he took me by the hand.

  “This is my room. You are welcome anytime. This house is your house. Feel free to open the fridge, drink, eat, make yourself at home.”

  “Thank you. Are you going to sleep?”

  “I’m going to shower and then I’ll read a little from the Qur’an,” he said.

  “I’ll come say good night.”

  “I’ll be waiting.”

  I took a nice bubble bath with rose petals. I put on my oversized t-shirt with my favorite boxer shorts that I had brought from the house and wrapped myself in the robe. I also covered my hair before I walked to his room.

  “What do you think?”

  “May I?” he said as he got closer, ready to undo my hijab.

  “I need more time,” I said taking a few steps back even though I wanted to throw myself in his arms.

  Even though I was totally against the hijab when I first arrived to Antarah because I felt it was Fouad’s way of controlling me, I had learned to understand that the hijab empowered women. It was a symbol of self-respect and honor and I actually felt naked and vulnerable if I took it off in front of someone who wasn’t my husband. Granted, I was ready to break all the rules but revealing my hair was only going to happen when I decided to give myself body and soul to Brahim.

  “Maybe it’s dumb, but I want you to see my hair when the time is right.”

  “So, I guess this is good night.”

  “Come here,” he said. “No good night kiss?”

  I went up to him and gave him a soft kiss on the lips.

  “Sweet dreams habeebtee,” he said

  “Tesbah al kher, good night, ayunnee.” I went to my bedroom. I fought hard to overcome my carnal desires but I didn’t want to rush into anything; it needed to be right. Tomorrow was another day. I also fought my thoughts of guilt and wondered if I was making the biggest mistake of my life. Not because of Brahim, but because of the consequences if Fouad ever found out.

  I woke up early. I barely slept. I kept thinking about Brahim and wondering if he felt the same way I did. I suspected he did and admired his self-control.

  “Good morning,” I said giving him a kiss.

  “It’s a great morning now.”

  “Why is that?”

  “Because I have the most incredible woman I’ve ever known by my side,” he said as he held me tight.

  “Flattery won’t get you anywhere. Did you sleep well?”

  “Did you?”

  “I asked first.”

  “If you’re asking, did I have a desperate need to feel your body next to mine all night last night? Yes I did.”

  “Well, I slept like a baby. That mattress is excellent,” I said.

  “I’m glad habeebtee,” he said as he rubbed my shoulders.

  “So, what’s on the agenda today?”

  “Anything you want as long as we’re back on time to be at our special place before sun down.”

  “I wouldn’t miss that date for anything in the world.” I suddenly glanced at his entertainment center.

  “Sinatra tapes,” I said excited.

  “My favorite singer.”

  “I can’t believe it, mine too. I met “old blue eyes” at a White House function once.”

  “No way. Was he nice?”

  “I was very young. But, I guess. He signed my tape and kissed me on the cheek. I remember his piercing blue eyes; they lit up a room. Even as a child, I knew there was something special about him. As I grew older and listened to his music, I fell in love with his songs. What’s your favorite?”

  “Fly Me to the Moon,” he said.

  “Mine too,” I said.

  He walked up to his tape collection, put a tape in the stereo system and fast forwarded it to a song. “Fly me to the moon let me play among the stars, let me know what love is like on Jupiter and Mars….”

  As I listened, he took me by the hand and we started dancing to our favorite Sinatra tune. It was like a dream. He was a good dancer. We probably danced for half an hour until the first side of the tape finished. One romance song after the other, we held each other and kissed while our bodies moved to the music.

  “Isn’t it amazing how we have so much in common,” he said.

  “It really is. Thanks for helping me make such beautiful memories. And by the way, you are a great dancer.”

  “You too,” he said. “Let’s go have some lunch and afterwards we can go to the market to buy some fresh meat and vegetables to grill tonight.”

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  While we were out in public, I restrained from gestures of affection. I also was prepared to cover my face at a second’s notice if anyone looked familiar. It was hard to hide like this. It was also wrong. I asked God for forgiveness and hoped he would have mercy on my soul. I was trapped from the beginning, I didn’t plan this but, I guess maktub, it was written; it was part of my destiny and I was going to live this moment like I had never lived before. After lunch and the market, we headed back to the chalet.

  When the sun started to set, we went to the shore and, again, kissed passionately until the sun disappeared.

  “Every time I see a Mediterranean sunset, I’ll think of you,” he said.

  “And I’ll think of you, and of this moment and every moment we share after this one.”

  We went back, washed and prayed. Many people would think our prayers were pointless but it is the duty of a Muslim to pray five times a day; at sunrise, noon, after four o’clock, at sunset and an hour and a half after the sunset prayer.

  I was slowly catching on to this routine. It was unfortunate that my parents didn’t instill this habit in me as a child. I guess it wasn’t too late to start now.

  Afterwards, I helped Brahim in the kitchen.

  “A doctor and a chef… I’m impressed,” I said.

  “And, the best is yet to come…” he said humming a Sinatra tune.

  We were good together. Even in the kitchen, we complimented each other. He was so funny and talkative. He put an eternal smile on my face.

  After dinner, I cleaned up and then we went for a walk. When we came back, we sat for a few minutes.

  “I’ll be out shortly, I’m going to take a shower,” I said.

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  I took a nice long shower. I came out in my robe.

  “You look refreshed and radiant,” he said.

  “Thanks.”

  There was soft, instrumental Arabic music playing. The lights were dim and scented candles were burning.

  “You’ve created a very cozy atmosphere,” I said.

  “Do you approve?”

  “I’m definitely not complaining.”

  He then got up and started kissing my neck. Slowly, he started unraveling my veil.

  “Is it alright?” he asked timidly.

  “Yes,” I replied softly.

  As he gently took off my scarf, strands of my thick hair cascaded over my robe. He soothingly caressed the dark, curly locks that came down to my lower back. He placed his hands around my waist and started undoing the tie.

  “Are you sure this is what you want?” he whispered in my ear.

  “I’ve never wanted anything so badly,” I said.

  He let the robe fall off my shoulders and he was surprised to see my black, see through, lace teddy. He turned my body towards him.

  “You are a goddess. The most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen,” he said as he looked at me with burning desire. We kissed passionately. Then, he started kissing my neck and moved down to my breasts.

  “Let’s
go to my bedroom,” he said.

  We kept kissing till we stumbled onto the bed. We were both consumed with lust. He smoothly worked his hands up and down my body. I was so turned on and I could feel he was about to burst. He removed my top as he nibbled on my breasts.

  “Are you Ok?” he asked.

  “I’m in heaven.”

  He devoured my lips as our bodies became one. It was ecstasy. I had never, ever felt this way. It was truly bliss.

  When we were done he asked: “Was it everything you wanted it to be?” as he caressed my hair.

  “It was. You made me feel so alive.”

  “Let’s take a warm shower and go to bed. Let me hold you all night.”

  “I’d like that.”

  The next morning Brahim surprised me by bringing me breakfast in bed.

  “You are too sweet ayunnee,” I said.

  “For you habeebtee this is not enough,” he said.

  “You are enough,” I said as I insinuated with my kiss that I was ready for another love making session.

  That day we stayed in bed all day, we just came out before dusk to keep our promise to the sun. Then, we came back in and just relaxed and listened to Sinatra tapes.

  “Brahim, I’d like to ask you something. I don’t want you to take it the wrong way. I’ll understand if you don’t want to talk about it.”

  “You want to know about Heather?” he said in a nostalgic tone.

  “That was her name?”

  “Yes. I met her while doing our fellowship. It was love at first sight. I knew she was the love of my life. She was such a giving woman. She always made time for others. She was so compassionate. A brilliant doctor who embodied what the medical field is all about.”

  “It sounds like she was a marvelous person. What did she look like?”

  “She was blonde with blue eyes and a smile that would brighten a room. She made me laugh. Shortly after graduation, we got married. Everything I ever wanted had become a reality. A beautiful wife, my career in medicine, children down the line; I was living the American dream. We were planning a trip to Antarah so she could meet my family. This chalet was going to be my gift to her,” he said.

  “So, what happened?”