Starstruck

by Lauren Conrad

  Madison offered them a small, haughty smile, which neither of them returned. She assumed that they were starstruck. Maybe, if she was feeling generous, she’d give them an autograph later.

  “So we’re going to divide and conquer now,” Glory said, before the gorgeous guy had had a chance to say his name. “Let’s get you your assignments.”

  Madison looked down at her industrial-strength gloves and wondered why she was the only person who had been given a pair. They looked like the kind of thing you’d wear if you were going to clean up hazardous waste.

  Glory’s voice was brisk and efficient. “Stan, I’m going to give you to the Great Danes. They need a walk—and a strong person to do it. Sharon, you’re going to work with me in intake, greeting people and getting them started on their paperwork. Hazel and Ivy, you’ll be in the Family Room, which is where we work on animal socialization. All right, shall we?”

  “Excuse me,” Madison said briskly. “What about us?” She indicated the hot guy in the corner.

  Glory shook her head. “Wait here. I’ll take you to your duties after I introduce Stan to the Great Danes, Billy and Spike.”

  She turned and left, with the other volunteers following her. As Hazel (or was it Ivy?) passed by her, Madison readied herself to smile again. She had to be nice to her fans, even under these unfortunate circumstances. But the girl stared out from beneath her greasy bangs and said, “Scarlett should have challenged you to a cage match, you backstabbing bitch.”

  Madison flinched. That wasn’t what she’d expected. But she sat up straighter and smiled. “Sure,” she said sweetly. “And I would have kicked her skinny, angsty college ass.” Then she turned away and stared at the ancient coffeemaker and the dusty vending machine until Glory returned.

  When she did, Madison held out the gloves. “These must be for Stan, right? The guy with the arms? Because they’re giant.”

  Glory smiled pertly. “Nope. They’re for you. Try them on.”

  Reluctantly Madison did as she was told. What was she going to have to do? The gloves were much too big and they smelled like a petroleum by-product. She flexed her fingers. “I feel like my hands are paws.”

  “Then maybe it’ll give you some empathy for the animals,” Glory said.

  “I have plenty of empathy,” Madison retorted.

  “Oh, I’m sure you do, dear.” But bubbly Glory sounded pretty darn sarcastic.

  Madison decided not to pick a fight. She could convince these people of her compassion some other time. Or … not. Whatever. “Anyway,” she said. “Show me which cute little puppy you want me to walk.”

  Over in the corner, that gorgeous guy made a noise in his throat. Was it a cough? A laugh? Madison couldn’t be sure.

  “Uh, right,” Glory said. “Come with me.”

  The cameras followed them down a narrow hallway lined with laundry hampers and mop buckets. Wild barking was coming from somewhere, and from somewhere else, a terrible, high keening that sounded almost human.

  “Here we go,” Glory said brightly. She opened a heavy metal door and gestured for Madison to walk in.

  The room was windowless; it held stacks of metal cages. The air was thick with excremental stench, and Madison nearly stumbled from the olfactory assault.

  “But there aren’t any animals in here,” she said, her voice tight. She didn’t want to open her lips very much because she was afraid of letting the horrible smell into her mouth.

  “Nope!” Glory said. “But there will be. And that’s why I need you to clean these cages.” She pulled a bucket and a giant bottle of bleach down from a shelf. “The water in that faucet is cold,” she said, pointing to the small industrial sink. “If you want hot, you’ll have to hoof it back to the break room.” She gave Madison what was clearly an insincere smile. “All set, then?”

  Madison was so shocked that she didn’t even know what to say. And by the time she thought of something—Wait, what? Are you kidding me? Get me a kitten to pet, stat!—Glory was gone.

  She stood silently in the dank, smelly room, surrounded by metal bars and shining locks. She looked in panic at Bret, the cameraman, and noticed he had a bandana wrapped over his face to mask the smell. It felt, she realized suddenly, a lot like jail. But jail, no doubt, was nicer.

  “I’m not doing this,” she yelled to the empty room. “I am so not doing this!”

  It was all she could do not to turn to Bret and mouth “What the fuck?” There was no way in hell she was going to clean all these cages. She remained motionless in the center of the room for a minute, and then she stormed back into the hallway. The camera quickly followed behind her. She found Glory by the front desk, showing one of the twins how to work the computer.

  “No way,” Madison said. “You can’t make me do that.”

  Glory looked up, her eyes glittering. “Oh, but yes, my dear, I can. This is your court-ordered community service. You can either clean those cages, or you can go back to the judge and see what other punishments he can find for you. I hear they need people at the morgue....”

  Madison shuddered.

  “Anyway,” Glory said. “I don’t make the job assignments. Ryan does.”

  “Who’s Ryan?” Madison demanded.

  “You’ll meet him later,” Glory said. “Now go clean.”

  The next three hours were pure hell. Madison nearly passed out twice from the stench of the dirty cages. She broke a nail, and the soapy water destroyed her Chanel flats. (She made a note to wear her Jimmy Choo hunter boots the next time around.) And no one came to check on her, to see if she was hungry or if she needed help or if she could use a break. She threw a mini fit around lunchtime, but only the PopTV camera paid any attention.

  By the fourth hour, Madison was cursing to herself. “I think we’re done here,” said Bret. “The smell is kind of getting to me. And they said it’ll probably take you the rest of the day to finish.” He looked thrilled to be leaving, and no wonder.

  So now Madison was utterly alone. Until she turned around and saw the hot guy she’d spotted earlier, leaning in the doorway.

  “Oh, hey,” she said, giving her hair a toss and trying to muster as much sex appeal as possible (which was not much, considering her state of disarray). Maybe Trevor had hired this guy to spice up her community-service story line. “Did you come to rescue me?” She smiled.

  The guy shook his head as he took a step into the room. He did not look charmed by Madison’s smile; in fact, he was looking at her the way she’d look at gum stuck to the bottom of her Louboutin. “I’m Ryan,” he said. “And no, I didn’t.”

  Well, that was enough to wipe the smile off her face. He wasn’t another volunteer at all. “So I have you to thank for this fantastic job,” she said, suddenly finding Ryan a lot less attractive.

  “Fun, isn’t it?” he asked, offering a small smile. Dimples appeared in his tan cheeks.

  Five hours ago, Madison might have fantasized about reaching out and touching one of those dimples. Or thought about running light kisses along his collarbone, or slipping her hand inside his shirt and feeling the warmth of his smooth skin. Instead she suddenly wanted to hit him with her purse. The big one with lots of hardware.

  “I’m in charge of the volunteers,” Ryan said. “And you too, of course. I’ll be signing your attendance sheets and reporting on your progress to the judge.”

  “Well, I hope you’ll tell him that I did a stellar job today,” Madison said bitterly. “And that I ruined a pair of six-hundred-dollar shoes in the process.”

  “I’m pretty sure no one cares about that but you,” he said. He walked over to the cages and ran a finger along the now-gleaming bars. “Not bad,” he said. “Better than I expected.”

  Madison ignored this. “How come you weren’t on camera?” she blurted.

  “I didn’t sign a release,” said Ryan. His voice was brusque. “I don’t like cameras.”

  “Huh. I thought that was practically a prerequisite to living in L.A.”


  Ryan gazed at her. His green eyes were cool. “Not everyone’s a fame whore,” he said. And then he turned and left.

  Madison reached down, took off her ruined shoe, and threw it after him. She missed, though, which was probably a good thing. No need to add assault to her charges, too.

  5

  THE SIMPLE THINGS

  Kate eyed her cocktail with a mixture of curiosity and suspicion. It looked delicious, but then the bartender had referred to it as a Nutty Bloody Scotsman, which had given her pause. It had whiskey and blood-orange juice or something, which sounded fine enough—but why nutty? Why bloody? Whatever happened to nice drink names, like the Tequila Sunrise or the Pink Lady?

  She stirred the pinkish liquid with her cocktail stick and gazed around the dimly lit room. So far she and Gaby and Carmen and Madison were the only ones in it, unless you counted the bar staff and the PopTV camera crew. But the Library Bar at the Roosevelt was so tiny that it almost felt crowded.

  Gaby had just filmed a spot here for her new job as the host of some late-late-late-night party-and-lifestyle show, and Trevor took the opportunity to get two scenes out of one location by gathering the whole cast here after Gaby’s shoot and turning it into a girls’ night out. It was the first time they had filmed all together since the premiere, and Kate was nervous. (That was how she’d ended up with the Scotsman: “Surprise me!” she’d told the bartender.) Things were tense with Carmen and awkward with Madison, and being able to have a satisfying conversation with Gaby was never guaranteed.

  She snuck a glance at the exit. What if she just pretended like she didn’t feel well? Would Laurel let her leave? It was doubtful. Plus she hadn’t faked illness since third grade, when her mom stopped falling for it.

  So Kate reached for her drink and bravely took a sip. She turned to Gaby, who was sitting next to her. “Not bad!” she said brightly. “Actually, it’s pretty good. What’s yours?”

  “I got a Bad Habit,” Gaby said. “I don’t know what’s in it, though.”

  “A Bad Habit? That’s appropriate,” Madison noted. “If only your glass had a picture of a tattooed guy on it.”

  Gaby sniffed. “I don’t only date guys with tattoos,” she said. “It’s just—what’s that word?” She looked pensive for a moment. “A coincidence. It’s just a coincidence.”

  Carmen laughed and tried to meet Kate’s eyes, but Kate looked away—not out of anger so much as confusion. Now that a little time had passed and practically everything in her life felt different, exactly how mad at Carmen was she? Kate had been ignoring her texts and messages because she wasn’t sure how to answer that question. A moment later, her BlackBerry buzzed. The text was from Laurel. TRY NOT TO LOOK LIKE UR BEING TORTURED.

  Right! This was fun, wasn’t it? Girls’ night out!

  Kate thought of the first time she’d gone out with her castmates, when filming had only just begun. That was the night she met Sophia, who was now officially part of the Fame Game lineup, although in a supporting role (which Kate knew annoyed her). It was also the night she’d met Luke Kelly.

  Almost imperceptibly she shook her head: Best not to go down memory lane. Best to focus on what had changed for the better rather than for the worse. For instance, her wardrobe. Granted, she still needed helpful texts from Laurel (DRESS CUTE: MAYBE NEW NUDE DRESS & GIVENCHY BOOTIES?), but still. The old Kate wouldn’t have even known what Givenchy booties were. It was a miracle Luke had spent more than a minute with her.

  Gaaah, stop thinking about Luke, Kate told herself. But the fact that she couldn’t was what made things still weird for her with Carmen. Carmen probably saw Luke every day, either at work or on a fake date. Of course, after Kate learned that the two had history, their attraction seemed a little less fake.

  She fixed a bright smile on her face. Her job was to make conversation and have enough fun to fill four minutes of airtime, max—how hard could that be?

  She took a deep breath and dove in. “So, Madison, I saw your picture in Life & Style the other day,” she said. But then she bit her lip in dismay. She was such an idiot: How could she have forgotten that the editors had Photoshopped Madison into a prison jumpsuit? Kate coughed loudly and tried to recover. “Your hair looked amazing,” she gushed. “Aren’t you the spokesperson for Joolie heat-styling spray?”

  Madison nodded slightly as she crossed one slim, tan leg over the other. “I have a lot of endorsements,” she said. “Unlike some people.” Her eyes darted toward Carmen.

  Carmen smiled slyly at this. “And maybe, thanks to your work at the shelter, you’ll get even more. Like, for a pet product or something,” she said.

  Madison scoffed. “Weren’t you the face of that zit cream a couple of years back, Carmen? Of course, that wasn’t so much an endorsement as it was a testimonial, because no one had any idea who you were without your mom by your side.”

  Kate saw Carmen’s cheeks flush. She’d had no idea that Carmen had done commercial work; she always seemed so … indie.

  “TV ads pay great,” Carmen said, her voice sharper. “If you do enough of them, you can afford to buy your own diamonds.”

  Madison inhaled and stiffened. Kate waited for her to say something, but she didn’t. She just turned away and took a sip of her pink-tinged drink.

  Awkward, Kate thought. Suddenly the already-small room felt claustrophobic.

  The exchange had quickly put a damper on whatever goodwill the girls had managed to build up, and now no one was saying anything. Well, if tense silence was any interest to Trevor Lord, he’d have plenty of it, Kate thought. Maybe he’d have Carmen do a voice-over. We were all supposed to go out and have fun, but Kate and I weren’t talking, and Madison certainly wasn’t in a party frame of mind.... At least we had Gaby to lighten the mood.

  If the whole thing weren’t suddenly so uncomfortable, Kate would have smiled to herself. Who knew what this night would look like when it appeared on the nation’s television sets? All she knew was that right now it was pretty unpleasant.

  Kate didn’t understand, really, why it had to be like this. Sure, Madison had been sort of snubbing her. But she obviously had a lot on her mind. It wasn’t like Kate ignoring Carmen’s texts—Kate knew she hadn’t done anything to upset Madison. And Carmen was probably exhausted from filming, which was why she was being sort of bitchy. But what, really, was Kate’s own problem? What did she have to complain about? She had a hit TV show and a hit song: She ought to feel a little better! Why in the world couldn’t she just relax and enjoy herself? Tell a joke or a funny story?

  She cleared her throat and started to say something, but then stopped. The fact was, she had her own anxieties to worry about, besides making pleasant small talk. For one thing, Trevor had told her that she was going to have to play some real shows one of these days. “Open mics aren’t for people with top-selling singles,” he’d pointed out. “We’re getting you an actual gig.” Thinking about that made her feel sick.

  And for another thing, this whole interpersonal stuff was tricky. It seemed like all of her castmates had secrets and touchy spots. Skeletons of various sizes rattling around in their walk-in closets. With Natalie, everything had been so easy. They trusted each other implicitly. But with these girls, Kate felt like she never knew what they were really thinking.

  “So, have you gone on any hot dates with Luke lately?” Gaby asked Carmen.

  Speaking of skeletons and secrets! Kate rolled her eyes (but subtly, and not so the cameras could see it). She was getting pretty good at guessing how these scenes would go.

  Carmen shifted uncomfortably in her seat, while Kate had to pretend like she wasn’t anxious to hear Carmen’s response.

  Then she felt a hand on her shoulder, and she smelled a pungent essential oil that was perhaps best described as a combination of lilac, cinnamon, and … mud? Kate didn’t even have to look up to know that Madison’s sister had arrived. But she did look up, and she saw golden-haired Sophia beaming at all of them, silver bracelets clinking noisily
on her arms and peacock-feather earrings brushing against her toned shoulders.

  “Namaste, chicas,” Sophia said warmly. “What are we talking about?”

  “We weren’t really talking about anything,” Carmen said quickly. “Have a seat.”

  “Don’t mind if I do,” Sophia said. She made a beeline for the spot Carmen already occupied—at Laurel’s instructions, perhaps?—which meant that Carmen had to scoot over so that she was sitting inches from Kate.

  “Hi,” Carmen said quietly.

  Kate didn’t answer for a moment, and she then said, with a bit of an edge to her voice, “Hi yourself.” She wasn’t going to offer anything more.

  It seemed to Kate as if she could feel the camera’s devilish red eye boring into the side of her skull. So far, this evening out had been about the longest night of her life (and they had only been at the Roosevelt for twenty-three minutes).

  Sophia leaned forward, removed her sandals, and flexed her bare toes. “So you are not going to believe who came into Kula Yoga this afternoon,” she said.

  “Are you seriously taking off your shoes?” Madison asked, sounding horrified. “What are you? An animal? We’re in public!”

  Sophia ignored her sister and took a delicate sip of what Kate hoped was seltzer. “Rob Schappell! You should see the abs on him. He’s got, like, a twelve-pack.”

  “I thought you were too enlightened to notice that sort of thing,” Madison said.

  “Oh, sis, you’d have to be a nun not to notice. Honestly, it disrupted everybody’s practice.” She giggled. “Not that I’m complaining.”

  She fingered a large crystal that hung on a chain around her neck. She looked, Kate thought, lovely and healthy and impossibly statuesque—maybe there really was something to this yoga business. Kate herself had no experience with it. Yoga hadn’t been big in Columbus; it was more of a Zumba kind of town.

  “What’s so interesting about yoga, I’m finding,” Sophia said, “is that the simple things are the most challenging. Breathing correctly, for one. You think, how hard is it to breathe? We do it all the time! But the fact is, it’s extremely difficult to do it right. And Savasana—corpse pose?”