Blood Craving

by Gabrielle Bisset

  He knew that if the doctors could isolate what made her blood special then they could save thousands, if not millions, of vampires from being enslaved to a drug intended to ruin their lives. It was just that he didn’t want his wife poked or prodded anymore by anyone else.

  “You know I always love having you next to me, but I can’t promise it will be exciting,” he said half-heartedly.

  In truth, he didn’t know what to expect from either Son. Both had lost vampires in the attack on the monastery, and Vasilije didn’t seem to be dealing with the loss of his home and breakup with Sasa very well. He’d seen the Romanian go through women like they were candy, but Sasa was different.

  He got that.

  From the moment Solenne returned to his life, no other woman mattered. He also knew what it was like to know someone you loved and trusted had betrayed you. Thane wasn’t Vasilije’s brother like Teagan had been to him, but in many ways, all of the Sons were like brothers and to have one work against you hurt deep down where most others couldn’t touch.

  The doorbell rang and the moment he and Solenne had shared was over. At least this one had been almost normal. Maybe things were getting better.

  As he left her to let them in, he hoped that was true.

  Vasilije and Terek took their seats on the couch in the living room across from Saint and Solenne and began talking. He was thankful they seemed to be all about Sons business because he wasn’t sure how he’d handle it if the conversation veered into anywhere concerning how Solenne was doing or how they were handling things now.

  “Nico called us and wants to meet later tonight. Sion and Kali have been doing some good work together, so we have something to go on,” Vasilije said in a voice that seemed oddly upbeat for what Saint had expected.

  “How is she, Vasilije?” Solenne asked. “I’ve been so worried about her. I feel so guilty that anyone is being hurt because of something that comes from me.”

  “Sion says she’s better now.”

  “You can’t blame yourself, Solenne,” Terek added in that wise old owl tone he used when he was being sympathetic. “What’s special about you is a good thing. That the Archons are using it for ill purposes isn’t your fault.”

  Saint felt himself fading out as the three of them talked of her blood and how innocent she was in all the shit the Archons were doing. This was exactly what he’d dreaded about this visit from the fellow Sons. He didn’t want to hear about Solenne’s blood and Bliss or any of it anymore.

  Interrupting them, he asked, “So what does Nico have for us?”

  They all looked at him with surprised expressions, but he didn’t care as long as it ended that goddamn conversation.

  “He hasn’t said much yet, but you know him. I think he likes that we’re all in the area, for the time being. Hanging out with the Order gets a bit boring,” Vasilije said.

  “We’ve been here for months,” Saint said flatly in the voice he’d always used when the other Son irritated him, feeling strangely insulted by the Romanian’s insinuation that without the rest of the Sons that Nico had somehow been bored or lonely. Honestly, he didn’t even care if that was the truth, so why he said that was beyond him. He didn’t even think Vasilije had said it to be insulting.

  Three pairs of eyes stared at him with confusion, and Solenne quickly said, “For the time being? Are some of you leaving soon?”

  Terek nodded. “With the war with the Archons heating up, the dragons are going to be important. Vasilije and I are going to visit the Draco brothers to make sure they’re ready when the time comes.”

  “How does Ilona feel about you leaving, Terek?” she asked.

  “She’s coming with us, so she’s thrilled. With the loss of Jasmine, I realized that I’ve been remiss in keeping up my family’s training. Ilona is going to begin hers soon, and when I found out that we’d be going east, I offered her the chance to come along.”

  Solenne’s elbow nudged Saint’s side. “See? I’m not the only one of the wives who wants to be more involved,” she chirped.

  “They aren’t married,” he mumbled.

  Those three words left his mouth, and it was like someone had dumped ice cold water all over the group. Terek quickly began explaining to no one in particular how he had always considered marriage as something wonderful but possibly not for him again. Vasilije just looked uncomfortable, an expression he rarely put on. And Solenne sat wide-eyed and stunned, staring at Saint as if he’d committed some kind of cardinal sin of married couples.

  She dropped his hand from hers and abruptly stood up from her seat. “It’s been very nice seeing you two again.” And with that, she left the room without another word.

  Saint was thankful neither of the men sitting across from him were the kind who liked to talk about things. If Dante had been there, he’d have to deal with questions galore about the whole incident, and he definitely didn’t want to bother with that shit. It was bad enough that he’d have to deal with his wife’s anger once they left.

  “So, would you like us to wait for you, or would you prefer to meet us at Nico’s at two?” Terek asked, breaking the silence.

  Saint shrugged. “I think I’ll catch up with you later. Tell Nico I’ll be by when I can.”

  The two Sons stood to leave and Vasilije said, “Maybe some work outside the house might do you some good, Saint.”

  “Like?”

  “Like some work outside the house. Maybe Nico can give you something to do to get out a little of that aggression you’re harboring.”

  Saint raised his eyebrows. “Aggression? You’d be fucking aggressive too if someone kidnapped the woman you love and you didn’t think you’d ever see her again.”

  And with that he’d succeeded in offending someone else. Being a thoughtless shit and saying something that could refer to Sasa as much as Solenne wasn’t okay. If anything, the Romanian’s situation was worse because she wasn’t kidnapped. Sasa had gone willingly.

  Vasilije winced just a little at his words and then simply nodded before he turned around and walked out. Saint looked at Terek, who seemed devoid of something to say. Jesus, he really knew how to clear a room.

  “I didn’t mean it that way. That came out wrong.”

  He patted him on the shoulder and smiled. “We know, Saint. If you need help, we’re here, even Vasilije. It’s just a little raw for him now.”

  “Thanks, but we’ll be fine.”

  After they left, Saint knew he had to talk to Solenne. He hadn’t meant anything by his comment about Terek and Ilona. They weren’t married, so he was just stating a fact.

  He found her on the terrace staring out at the crystal blue Aegean. Placing a hand on her shoulder, he was surprised when she pulled away from his touch. Turning her back to him, she sat silently staring off in the distance.

  “Solenne, talk to me.”

  “I’m too angry at you now to talk. Leave me alone.”

  Saint moved around the chair and crouched down in front of her. Balancing himself on her knees, he laid his head on her lap. Normally when he did this, she was quick to stroke his hair or his cheek, but this time he felt nothing. Looking up, he waited for her to look at him and when she didn’t, he whispered, “Solenne, please talk to me.”

  It seemed like forever, but when she finally looked down to face him, he saw the hurt in her eyes. Jesus, it tore at his heart when she looked at him like this.

  “Declan, you’re punishing me for what happened.”

  Sitting back on his heels, he shook his head in denial. “No, I’m not. I would never blame you for what happened.”

  “You are! I see it in the way you look at me. Your eyes scream that you don’t see me the same now. When we make love, you’re different. It’s there. I can feel it.”

  Saint looked away from her, not wanting to have this conversation. He didn’t blame her. He blamed himself. She was the victim. He was the one who was supposed to keep her safe—her husband, the one who’d promised to protect her.


  The one who’d failed.

  Solenne took his chin between her thumb and forefinger and forced him to look at her. “You can’t even look at me, can you? You blame me.”

  He couldn’t do this. Jumping to his feet, he stalked off before he said something that would only make the situation worse. Storming through the house, he found his way to the bedroom and slammed the door behind him. As he threw himself onto the bed, he closed his eyes, hoping to push away everything he was feeling.

  Inside, his gut was churning from what she’d said. How could she think he blamed her? He’d never loved anyone else in all his time on earth. Solenne was the only woman who’d ever truly seen the real him. He couldn’t imagine ever loving anyone else like he loved her. She was his world.

  Every minute she was gone from his side brought back all those feelings of loss that had nearly killed him in those days just after he’d thought she’d betrayed him for Teagan. Even then, he couldn’t bring himself to blame her for what had happened.

  How could she think he would blame her for this?

  Fucking Verrater! Everything in Saint’s body screamed out to kill him and get vengeance for what he’d done to the woman he loved. Sometimes it took every ounce of strength inside him to not hunt him down and finish the draining he’d begun the last time they’d run into one another. It was Verrater he blamed along with himself, and when he finally met up with him again, he’d exact his revenge.

  “Declan, I can’t do this. We need to talk about this, or it’s going to tear us apart.”

  Saint opened his eyes and saw her pained expression and beautiful blue-green eyes cloudy with tears. “Solenne, I can barely think of what happened without wanting to kill him. I can’t talk about this.”

  Silently, she lay down next to him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. They lay there saying nothing for a long time before she finally whispered, “I need to know you still love me.”

  Turning his head, he stared directly into her eyes, wondering how she could even question that. “Of course I love you. Fuck, Solenne. How could you think that was ever in doubt?”

  “Declan, you don’t understand what you look like. You skulk around this house like a ghost of who you were. I can’t seem to reach you, and you’re the only one I need now.”

  “I’m not a ghost. I’m right here. I just don’t want to talk about what happened.”

  Tears welled in her eyes. “What if I need to talk about it?”

  He couldn’t do this. If he started talking about what that fuck had done to her, he wasn’t going to be able to hold back anymore. Everything inside him was likely to come out, and he didn’t want her to see that.

  Saint kissed her softly on the lips and rolled onto his back. “Don’t do this, Solenne.”

  Suddenly, the hurt and anger she’d been hiding exploded out of her. She jumped up off the bed and angrily yelled, “Don’t do what, Declan? Talk to my own husband about the horrible things that were done to me? You’re the one who’s supposed to stand by me in times like this, and you’re so far away from me I might as well be back at Marc’s hideout alone and scared to death!”

  Her words cut him to the quick, and he leaped to his feet on the other side of the bed. “I found you as soon as I could! Do you think I wanted you to be held there by that fucker?”

  “That has nothing to do with it. I never doubted that you’d find me. Never! But you can’t expect me to not need to talk about what happened there.”

  Saint shook his head violently. “I can’t hear what he did, Solenne. I can’t.”

  “So I’m supposed to deal with this all on my own? I need my husband to be there for me,” she pleaded in a desperate voice that broke his heart.

  “I wasn’t there! Isn’t that what the problem is? Isn’t that what happened? I didn’t protect you, and he took advantage of that.”

  The words hung in the air like a heavy fog obscuring both of them. Finally, he’d admitted it out loud. He’d failed her when she’d needed him most.

  Solenne walked around the bed and stood in front of him as tears rolled down her cheeks. Reaching out for him, she grasped his hand tightly. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Declan. This happened because I was reckless. I wanted to believe that we were safe because Marc had lied about getting rid of you. That’s not what I need to talk about, though. I need to know that what he did to me hasn’t changed what you feel for me.”

  Saint shook his head, unable to say anything. And then she said the truth that he’d refused to accept and his world ground to a halt.

  “I was raped, Declan. I was raped.”

  The word sickened him. Raped. That fucker had done that to her. And now he was hurting her by not being there for her like a good husband should.

  Solenne sobbed, “I can’t change that he did that. I don’t know why this happened to us after we finally found one another again. I just need to know that this hasn’t changed what you feel for me.”

  He pulled her close and held her as the sobs wracked her body. “I love you, Solenne. I’ve never loved anyone else. My heart is as much yours as the one that beats in your chest. I’m trying not to let this push away every good thing we have between us. I truly am. I just can’t forgive myself for letting this happen. I’m supposed to protect you. Me. And I didn’t.”

  Resting her cheek on his shoulder, she said quietly, “I don’t blame you. You didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t either. I just need to know that you believe that.”

  Saint tilted her head back to look into her eyes. Wiping the tears from beneath them with the pads of his thumbs, he tried to let his heart do the talking, as hard as it was for him to do. “You did nothing wrong. The one to blame is him. Whatever he thinks he found in your blood isn’t what makes you so special, Solenne. That’s just one part of you. It’s all of you that’s special. Everything together, not just one thing. And I’m the luckiest man in the world because you love me.”

  “I need to know we’re going to be okay, Declan. I need to hear it.”

  He needed to hear it too. Deep inside, where he pushed the doubts and fears that plagued him, the biggest fear of all sat waiting to ruin everything he cherished so dearly. He wouldn’t let that happen.

  Not again.

  “Solenne, we got through nearly a hundred years of being separated because of someone’s jealousy and my foolish pride. I won’t lose you again, no matter what I have to do.”

  Now if he could only forgive himself for what that son of a bitch had done to her.

  Seven

  Sion awoke at sundown and instantly knew something had changed in him. Each night for decades, he’d arisen at dusk alone and begun his night. Always alone even when there was a female beside him in his bed, he’d long ago accepted that his path in life was to be a solitary one. Now this night showed him that belief had been incorrect.

  Looking down his body, he saw Kali pressed against him. Her legs intertwined with his and her arms held him as she slept. He lifted his arm and let his hand hover over her head resting on his chest. Her soft brown hair spread out over his skin, covering her face. He felt her soft puffs of breath, warm as they skittered across his body, and hesitated to wake her as he normally would a woman he’d spent the day with.

  Their lovemaking had been more intense than he’d been prepared for. Kali brought out emotions and feelings that he’d convinced himself no longer existed inside him. Becoming vampire had changed him to the cold being he’d become, no matter how practiced an air it was, and he had been content to be that vampire.

  Now with Kali, he wanted to be something else.

  She stirred and turned her face to look up at him, beautiful even in the dim light of their tiny rented room. Their. Until that day, he hadn’t thought that word in regard to himself for decades. Now it seemed as natural as knowing his own name.

  All those months they’d spent together working to defeat the Archons from that cold, dark cellar in Romania had ignited a spark in their hearts, but neither of th
em had believed it existed in the other. Hours in each other’s arms had shown them how much they’d been mistaken.

  “Sleep well?” she asked in her usual sweet voice. Her wide eyes and shy smile told him she wasn’t sure their time together would continue, and Sion could understand that insecurity. He wasn’t exactly the most expressive soul on the planet.

  “I did. Come here,” he said as he pulled her up so her mouth met his. He cradled her face and held it in front of him to look into her eyes so full of gentle kindness. He’d looked into those eyes so many times and never seen the tenderness he saw now.

  “You look beautiful.”

  He kissed her deep and long, hoping to assuage her doubts that their lovemaking earlier had been something passing. After all those years alone, he didn’t want passing anymore.

  “Sion, I want you to know that I understand if you don’t want…”

  Cutting her off with another kiss, he shook his head. “All I want is you, Kali. You.”

  The smile she showed him was sweet and genuine, and it made him want to be like every other man in love. He had never been that.

  “Sion, I want you to know that I don’t ever want to do Bliss again. I promise I’m going to fight against the demons inside me.”

  He pushed her hair off her face and stroked her cheek. “You don’t have to do that alone.”

  She pressed her forehead against his and whispered, “I don’t ever want you to have to see me like that again.” Rolling off him, she snuggled up to his side. “Never again.”

  “I know about demons, Kali,” he said as he kissed the top of her head. “I know.”

  “Not these kinds of demons, Sion.”

  He had dealt with the horrors of his past every night for over sixty years, but there was something dark in her tone that told him his had nothing on the demons she fought. Ordinarily, this would be when his feelings would shut down, closing him off to anyone whose emotions were so raw and open, but he didn’t want to do that now. Maybe if he tried, he could be what she needed to chase away those demons she fought.