Primal Touch

by Amber Jacobs

  “Ashley, wait!” Leandra’s senses had been momentarily overwhelmed by the kiss which had stunned her into inaction. Now, she shook her head to clear it as she saw Ashley retreat. She started to give chase, then cursed and grabbed for her clothes. Struggling into them, fumbling to get the laces tied, Leandra cursed herself for freezing and for not responding to the kiss. Pushing her tangled hair back over her shoulders, she wondered how to rectify the situation.

  She was unaccustomed to dealing with other people’s feelings, and her first instinct was to retreat and hide…let this end now, before someone got hurt. But that was something she knew she would never do. In the short time they had known each other, Ashley had come to mean every bit as much to her as Shar-Ranjana; Leandra wasn’t about to let her suffer just so she could avoid complicating her life. Taking a few deep breaths to calm herself, she considered her next course of action.

  The first thing to do was go after Ashley and make it clear she had done nothing wrong. There was no point in Leandra keeping her feelings private any longer. Whatever had been developing between Ashley and herself during their time together, it went deeper than simple friendship. And based on that kiss, the attraction was certainly mutual. Beyond that, Leandra’s plan got a little fuzzy. Letting this happen meant dealing with consequences she wasn’t quite ready to think about.

  She assumed Ashley would return to her friends at their camp. Fortunately, Leandra knew a shortcut. As she swept aside the brush concealing the overgrown path leading down the steepest part of the slope, she scolded herself wryly under her breath. “Just had to go and fall for the snoopy wildlife photographer, didn’t you? Damn it, Ash, why’d you have to be so damn cute?”

  Rushing through the jungle, heedless of the branches and vines that whipped at her face and tried to snag her clothes, Ashley felt hot tears burn down her cheeks. I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not cry. She repeated the mantra over and over, fighting the despair that made her want to curl into a ball and forget this day had ever happened. Despite those efforts, her eyes continued to stream tears and choking sobs pulled at her throat.

  “Stupid, stupid, stupid.” She mentally smacked herself with each word. “I’m such an idiot!” Just when Leandra had opened up, just as they’d started to share more and more, she’d gone and ruined everything by giving in to her baser desires. “She’ll probably never want to talk to me again.”

  Lost in confusion and self-recrimination, Ashley didn’t bother to hope that Leandra might be understanding, or that she might not care. All her thoughts were negative, tainted with the dark tones of depression and despair. The image of Leandra’s shocked expression was burned into her memory, and in Ashley’s despondent state of mind, quickly developed a fictional twist of distaste and withdrawal.

  Without thinking, Ashley made her way down the gravelly, dangerous slope, not caring when she slipped and cut her ankle on a sharp fragment of shale. Tears still blurring her vision, she made it to the base of the mountain and walked as quickly as she could in the direction of her own camp. Right now, all she wanted to do was retreat to her tent, lie down, and tell herself repeatedly how foolish her attraction to Leandra had been.

  It was a long way back to the campsite, and in her cloud of dejection, the distance seemed to grow longer. When at last she reached the circle of tents and the small, dead, cooking fire, Ashley was relieved to find that Grady and the others were nowhere in sight. She really didn’t feel like dealing with any lectures about how irresponsible it had been to stay with Leandra last night. Snuffling miserably, feeling sticky and dirty even though she’d just bathed, Ashley flung back the flap that led into her tent and stepped inside.

  She came to a stunned stop when she was greeted by a familiar pair of sapphire eyes.

  There was no point in running away again. She was too damn tired, anyway. She felt ashamed and drained, and shuffled a little, unable to hold Leandra’s gaze for more than a moment.

  “It’s not fair that you can do that,” she said, irrationally annoyed at the tall woman’s speed.

  Leandra stepped closer, and Ashley backed up a pace. “Ashley, we need to talk—”

  “No!” Ashley cut her off. “Please, Leandra, I feel stupid enough as it is. Can’t you just leave me alone? I’m sorry, all right? I got carried away, and I shouldn’t have. You obviously didn’t like it, so there’s nothing more to talk ab—mmph!”

  Leandra’s lips silenced her, descending with passion and force. Ashley resisted for a brief moment, but her legs gave out when Leandra’s tongue deftly invaded her mouth and played seductively against her own. Firm hands ran from her neck down her back before gripping her butt and pulling her into a fierce embrace. Completely overwhelmed by the sensual assault, Ashley offered no protest, beyond a throaty moan when she felt Leandra’s breasts push against her.

  The ardent kiss lasted several seconds, but there was no mistaking the tightly coiled passion behind it…a passion which mirrored the emotions stirring within her. When at last the taller woman pulled away, flushed and breathless, it took Ashley several moments to shake herself back to awareness. Leandra’s hands, still gripping her butt, held their lower bodies tightly together.

  “You took me by surprise,” Leandra whispered huskily. “I’m sorry I didn’t have time to respond, but I’m not going to let you think for a moment that I didn’t want you to do that. Or that I didn’t enjoy it very much.”

  Ashley nearly swooned. “You really mean that?” she asked uncertainly. “You’re not just saying it to make me feel better?”

  Those stunning eyes grew hooded, darkening with passion. “You need more convincing?”

  Leandra’s lips descended again, removing any doubt that might have lingered, leaving Ashley gasping. When Leandra withdrew this time, Ashley looked up into her eyes and tried to refocus her shattered senses. “I think we’ve both got a lot of thinking to do,” Leandra whispered, removing her hands from Ashley’s backside with a noticeable air of reluctance. “I’ll give you some time, okay?”

  Dazed, Ashley nodded. “Uh huh.”

  “Come find me tomorrow. We’ll talk then.” Leandra placed a last, almost chaste kiss on Ashley’s cheek, her eyes promising more, and slowly backed out of the tent.

  Ashley watched the tall, striped figure as she disappeared into the jungle. As she turned back to the tent, a slow, incredulous grin worked its way across her mouth. She pumped a fist in the air. “Yesss!”

  Despair forgotten, she threw herself down on her sleeping bag and closed her eyes. Thinking could wait, she decided. For now, she wanted to relive the memory of that amazing kiss and dream of what else might be in store for her.

  Chapter 4

  What the hammer? what the chain?

  In what furnace was thy brain?

  What the anvil? what dread grasp

  Dare its deadly terrors clasp?

  —“The Tyger” by William Blake

  For the rest of that morning, Ashley lay in her tent, eyes closed, smiling dreamily at nothing in particular. From time to time, she would take a deep breath and catch the scent of earth and musk that still lingered in the air, even after Leandra had departed, and she would flush at the memory of her searing kiss. Ashley wondered idly where Grady and the others had gotten to, but she felt no urge to go looking for them. Right now, she was happy to let her thoughts drift lazily and bask in the knowledge that her attraction to Leandra was fully reciprocated.

  Of course, now there were about a thousand and one new complications she would have to deal with, sooner or later—complications far beyond those of a typical romantic relationship. A part of Ashley’s mind wanted to address these problems right away, but for the time being, she focused on the warm tingles that still traced around her lips. There would be time enough to discuss practical realities with Leandra, and time enough to figure out what this all meant and where they might go from here. Judging from the
ardor of their kiss, Leandra was interested in taking this attraction a whole lot further. Ashley smiled. And that’s just fine with me.

  It was late afternoon by the time Grady and the others returned to camp. Ashley was startled out of her dreamy state when she heard their voices approaching. She knew her partner would probably be pissed at her for spending the night out with Leandra, but it took several seconds for her to shift mental gears. Frankly, she wasn’t in the mood to deal with Grady. She just wanted to rest and remember every detail of her morning with the enchanting tiger-woman.

  When she heard her name being called and the sound of footsteps nearing the tent, she sighed and gave a mental shrug. It was time to do some explaining.

  “Ash? Are you in there?”

  “Yeah, Grady.” She got up and opened the tent flap, stepping out into the sun’s last rays and facing her partner with a neutral expression. “Something you wanted?”

  Grady visibly collected himself, obviously realizing that blowing his stack wasn’t going to get him anywhere.

  Folding his arms across his chest, he said in a carefully moderated tone, “I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You didn’t come back last night.”

  “Yeah, I stayed out with Leandra. She hurt herself, and I didn’t want to leave her alone out there.”

  “Oh.” A pause. “Is she all right?”

  A faint smile curled the corners of Ashley’s lips. “She’s fine. Thank you for asking.”

  Grady returned the smile a little more fully. Glancing down, he pointed to Ashley’s ankle. “What happened there?”

  “Huh?” Ashley looked down and noticed that the cut on her ankle had bled freely. “Oh, I kind of tripped on some loose stones coming back here, that’s all. I hadn’t even noticed it.”

  “Yeah, well, a cut like that could turn septic if you don’t treat it properly, especially out here.”

  “I know. I’ll take care of it.” Ashley studied Grady a moment in silence before she said, “Listen, I’m sorry about running off like that and not telling you. It’s just that Leandra wanted to show me something secret, and it couldn’t wait until dawn.”

  “I figured it was something like that,” Grady said.

  “I wanted to wake you up, but she didn’t want you trying to follow or anything. Given your recent behavior, I think her concern was justified.”

  “Uh huh.” Grady pursed his lips. “Well, I hope whatever it was she wanted to show you was worth the worry you cost me.”

  Ashley grinned and looked down for a second, remembering her wonderful encounter with Shar-Ranjana. “It was, believe me.”

  “Are you going out with her again tomorrow?”

  Only with an effort did Ashley avoid blushing at the thought of what tomorrow might bring, but she managed a fairly indifferent nod. “I guess so.”

  Grady grunted softly. “Be careful, huh? I don’t want to be explaining to the boss-man why I let you get yourself killed out here. He likes you a whole lot more than he likes me, and I doubt he’ll take kindly to learning I didn’t at least try to keep you safe.”

  “Okay.”

  “And make sure you get some disinfectant on that cut. You don’t want lockjaw or gangrene or anything like that.”

  “I will.” Ashley hesitated a moment, then stood on tiptoes to drop a soft kiss on Grady’s stubble-covered cheek. She grinned at the raised eyebrow she got in return. “Thank you for caring.”

  “Hey,” Grady said, and laid his palm over his heart, “if I don’t look after you, who will?”

  Ashley mock-punched him, but chuckled. “Give me a minute to get this scratch cleaned up, and I’ll give you a hand with dinner.”

  “Sure.”

  Ashley went back into the tent as Grady returned to the others, who were waiting by the dead campfire. Sitting on her sleeping bag, she rummaged around in her backpack until her fingers located the compact but well-stocked first-aid kit. She cleaned the small cut on her ankle gently with a cotton swab, and then applied a healthy coating of disinfectant. After covering the entire wound with an adhesive bandage, she joined her friends outside, nodding to a glowering Tarun and receiving curious expressions of interest from Grace and Simon.

  Grady and Tarun had put together a basic dinner of stewed meat and vegetables, and though it wasn’t all that dissimilar to what she’d eaten last night, the meal couldn’t help but taste a little bland without Leandra to share it with.

  Simon made polite inquiries about talking to Leandra regarding help finding more tigers, but Ashley’s evasive responses were enough to tell him not to get his hopes up. It seemed the two scientists were having a rather disappointing time of it. Their efforts to monitor the tiger population were yielding only minimal success. Still, Ashley knew she could never talk about Shar-Ranjana, no matter how much it would mean to Simon and his assistant. She recognized a sacred trust when she saw it.

  Even as she listened to the conversations of her friends, Ashley’s mind was still preoccupied by the earlier events of that day. For the most part, she was content to sit silently in the flickering light of the fire, smiling a quiet, wondering smile and shivering a little at the remembered passion of Leandra’s embrace.

  When everyone had finished their dinner, Ashley offered her services as dishwasher and, with help from Grace, took the small pile of plates and cutlery over to the bucket of water near the perimeter of the camp. She noticed that Grace was watching her with a curious, slightly amused expression.

  Even as they worked, Ashley continued noticing her companion’s occasional glances, and wondered at the cause. Drying the dishes with a rag, Grace finally raised a curious eyebrow and said, “Ashley?”

  “Hmm?”

  Grace paused. “I don’t want you to think I’m being nosy or anything, and I know we don’t really know one another that well, but…”

  “No, that’s okay. What’s on your mind?”

  “I just wanted to make sure everything was okay with you. I mean, with you and Leandra.”

  Ashley sat up a little straighter. “Okay? What do you mean? Why wouldn’t it be?”

  Grace hesitated again, clearly not wanting to overstep her boundaries. “Well, you’ve just been really distracted all afternoon, and you’ve been wearing that goofy smile since you got back.” She shrugged and glanced away. “Plus, I saw the handprints on your butt. It doesn’t take much guesswork to figure out who put them there.”

  Ashley felt the blood rush to her face, and quickly twisted around so she could see the back of her shorts. Sure enough, the marks where Leandra had gripped her and pulled her into their embrace were embarrassingly obvious. “I…We didn’t do—”

  Grace immediately held up her hand. “I’m not judging you or anything like that,” she said quickly. “You’re a big girl, Ashley, and it’s none of my business. I just wanted to make sure you’re not being forced into anything, that’s all.”

  Ashley regarded the other woman carefully a moment, but found only genuine concern in her open face. She smiled. “I appreciate that, Grace. Really, I do. But I can assure you, Leandra isn’t forcing me into anything at all.”

  “I didn’t really think she was, but I think it’s always best to check. You know, just to be safe.”

  “Thank you. I appreciate that.” Ashley nodded toward the campfire, where the three men were talking and laughing. “You think they noticed?”

  “I doubt it.”

  “Good.” Ashley didn’t think that Grady would be thrilled to hear about her more personal interest in the tiger-woman. “You won’t tell them, will you?”

  “Of course not. It’s none of their business, either.” Grace reached for another dish and wiped it with the rag. “You and Leandra have been spending a lot of time together. I guess you’ve gotten to know her pretty well, huh?”

  “Yeah, I have.” Ashley finished washing the last plat
e and handed it to her companion, but made no move to return to the campfire. It actually felt good to talk about Leandra with someone else, to express her thoughts to another person who wouldn’t be judgmental. Growing up, Ashley had always appreciated having a sister around to share things with, and she missed that camaraderie whenever her work took her overseas. This whole experience with Leandra was very new, and her thoughts were running helter-skelter through her head in an exciting, confused jumble. Although she’d known Grace only a short while, she rather liked the quiet, introspective zoologist, and decided a little girl-talk wouldn’t hurt. “It’s surprising, really,” she said softly. “Leandra’s not the sort of woman I ever pictured myself being attracted to.”

  Grace finished drying the plates and gave Ashley her full attention. “I can imagine.”

  “But she’s gentle and caring, and I feel so safe when I’m with her.” Ashley blew her feathered bangs from her eyes. “All she has to do is look at me sometimes, and my legs go all rubbery. It’s stupid to get involved with her, I know, but at this point I’m finding it hard to care.”

  “Is this the first time you’ve been attracted to another woman?” Grace asked.

  “Attracted, no. But it’s the first time I’ve ever acted on it.” Ashley smiled sheepishly. “Believe it or not, I’m not really good at this sort of thing. My relationships tend to run cold pretty quick.” She looked off into the jungle, her eyes dreamy. “But it’s not like that with Leandra. We went for a swim this morning, and one thing kind of led to another. One minute I was thinking about kissing her…and then POW! I was.”

  Grace smiled. “It sounds pretty intense.”

  “It is. Everything about Leandra is intense. And I want more time with her. I need time to give these feelings the chance they deserve.” Ashley sighed. “I don’t know what I’ll do when we have to leave. I’m trying not to think too much about it right now.”

  Grace gave her a pat of consolation. “She sounds very special to you. To hear Grady talk about her, you’d think she was the devil incarnate or something.”