A Sister's Curse

by Jayne Bamber

  As if he had conjured her up through sheer willpower, he looked up and caught her eye, and she smiled widely at him. He observed that she was speaking with Mary, and wondered with a smile if even now she was trying to discover his identity.

  By now Darcy had been exceedingly inattentive to Anne, and as he led her down the dance, they collided with a passing gentleman at the end of the set, who splashed them both in wine. Anne, her white undergown drenched in red wine, let out a shrill screech and glowered at Darcy before abruptly stomping away.

  Some wine had gotten on Darcy as well, and though the color of his tunic was perfectly suited to hide it, he had no wish to reek of alcohol when he had his next dance with the starling. He flagged down a footman and asked for a cloth to clean himself and after it had been brought, he ducked behind a marble pillar at the edge of the room to discreetly pat at the wine stain on his chest.

  Once he had done what he could to preserve his costume, he discarded the wine-soaked cloth and leaned back against the pillar, letting out a heavy sigh. A moment later he was laughing at himself, no common occurrence, and yet he could not resist. It was worth it, he supposed, to be away from his cousin somewhat sooner than planned, and might make an amusing anecdote to tell his beautiful starling. He was amazed at how easy it had been to speak with her. He had always been abysmal at speaking to beautiful women, and yet she had put him at ease with her candor and her teasing. She was artless, intelligent and witty, which was all the more a virtue because he suspected there was a great sadness in her life.

  Darcy’s reverie was interrupted as he heard his name spoken on the other side of the pillar. “I have not seen Mr. Darcy,” one young woman was saying. “I am looking for his cousin, myself.”

  “Why Caroline, the viscount is barely in half-mourning, you sly thing!”

  “Yes, but even in half-mourning he is more amusing than Mr. Darcy. Oh, he is a great friend of my brother’s, and I am glad of it, but he scarcely speaks at all, and he always looks completely miserable!”

  The other young woman laughed. “My goodness, you are almost as wicked as Miss Bennet!”

  Miss Bingley huffed. “I should hope not!”

  “I was walking with Miss Steventon, and as we happened to pass Miss Bennet, she was abusing Mr. Darcy in the strongest language – it was quite shocking! She called him a selfish, boorish beast, and said that she cared nothing at all for him! Can you imagine anyone speaking so cruelly of their own brother?”

  “How dreadful! I am sure I should never dare speak so to dear Charles, even when he gets on my nerves. I wonder that my poor friend Miss Darcy could be related to such a person! Miss Eliza ought to be punished.”

  Darcy drew away, not wishing to hear more, though for once he rather agreed with Miss Bingley. The music of the dance had ended, and Darcy hoped Miss Bingley and her friend would soon move away, so that he might come out from behind the pillar without alerting them to his presence. He listened once more, finally hearing his cousin John approach and claim Miss Bingley’s hand, and waited a moment longer before he came out from behind the pillar.

  Richard was nearby, and caught Darcy’s eye. “If looks could kill, Cousin!”

  Darcy grumbled under his breath and drew his cousin aside. He needed to remove his damned helmet, yet he still wished to maintain the air of mystery until he unmasked himself for the starling. He led Richard out into the corridor, and then took off the uncomfortable helmet and tucked it under his arm.

  “Well, Darcy, what is it?”

  “I have only just learned that I am a selfish, boorish beast.”

  Richard laughed. “And you mean to amend your wicked ways?”

  Darcy grimaced. “Am I truly these things? Do I deserve such accusations?”

  Richard’s smirk turned into a frown. “You are serious.”

  “Tell me truly, Richard, am I any of these things?”

  “Of course you are not. What had given you such a notion?”

  “Apparently Elizabeth Bennet has been parading about the ballroom disparaging me to all and sundry.”

  “Damn and blast, what has gotten into her? She seemed out of sorts earlier, but that is going too far. Shall I speak to her about it?”

  Darcy raised his eyebrows at Richard. “You are always her staunchest defender.”

  “Come now, surely you know me well enough to suppose that I cannot defend such language as that! Something is bothering her tonight, and I shall discover what it is. She confides in me, you know. At any rate, I daresay I have a stake in reconciling the two of you, if she and I do marry.”

  Darcy sighed. “You are still considering it? You might have anybody.”

  “No indeed, Darcy. I am a second son, and I do not wish to be anyone’s second choice. Lizzy and I get on well enough, and she is determined not to have anyone else on my father’s list.”

  Darcy shook his head, trying to subdue his ire. “Do you really think she could make you happy?”

  Richard clapped a hand on Darcy’s shoulder, knitting his brow as he looked earnestly at him. “She is not Olivia, Darcy. I shall speak to her, but it could only help if you made an effort to get to know her. In seventeen years, you never have. Besides, your mother has been speaking to Sir Edward tonight, and I think she means to ask Lizzy to come and stay at Darcy House.”

  This was new information to Darcy, who merely blinked stupidly at his cousin.

  “Ah – I have said too much. I am sure she means to speak to you about it. Give it some thought, Darcy. You have three sisters, and it is time you started acting like it.” At that, Richard turned on his heel and went back into the ballroom, leaving Darcy alone, angry, and confused in the empty corridor.

  ***

  Elizabeth had gone out onto the balcony to take some air after her confrontation with Mary, and had been sitting alone, savoring the tingle of the January chill in the air for she knew not how long before Richard slipped outside to join her.

  “I thought I would find you here,” he said.

  “Oh – yes – you wished to dance again.”

  “Only if you wish it. Before you decide, however, there is something I would speak to you about.”

  Elizabeth was filled with dread – he must have heard about what she said to Mary. If he has come to make me apologize, he is quite mistaken! As Elizabeth’s shoulders tensed up, Richard sat down beside her and laid his hand atop hers. “I am not going to scold you, Lizzy, if that is what you fear.”

  “You... you do not think I deserve it?”

  “I do think you deserve it, but it would give you pain that I do not wish to inflict. I only wish to say that I am very sorry there is no affection between you and Darcy. I have a great regard for both of you, and I wish that you could each see one another as I do.”

  “I fear it is impossible. I... I do not even wish it.”

  Richard sighed and intertwined his fingers with hers. “I wish it was easier for you, Lizzy. I know what you have suffered all these years, and I think your time away from Pemberley has been a very ill thing indeed.”

  “I know, I know,” she sighed. “Jane says that I have missed out on seeing the side of William that she and Mary do. It is all my own fault for running away, and not a speck of blame on William, who took more than ten years to come around to the notion of being a proper brother to the sisters who remained!”

  “And you are made bitter by it. You are right, Lizzy, but have you ever simply told him that this has hurt you?”

  “Of course not! How could I? After all of his disparagement, his rudeness to poor Aunt Olivia, how could I say such a thing to him, allowing him the opportunity to....”

  “To hurt you further?”

  “To judge me! I shall not allow it. At any rate, his opinion means nothing to me. You and John have been more brotherly to me than William ever has.”

  Richard leaned in a little closer to her, sighing with dejection. Of course it was not what he wished to hear, when he hoped for more from her. “I shall not
say William is blameless. I only think that if you actually spoke to him, and if both of you simply listened, really listened to what the other had to say, life would be so much easier. How much misery might have been avoided all these years, simply by us all being more open with one another?”

  “Myself most of all, I suppose.”

  Richard wrapped his arm around her shoulders, and Elizabeth allowed herself the indulgence of leaning her head on his. He was warm, and it felt rather nice.

  “You are too hard on yourself. Lizzy. You were just a child when everything went so wrong. I shall never forget the state you were in, when....”

  “Oh, Richard. You have always been there for me. I daresay you understand me better than anyone. You know why I could not stay there. At any rate, Uncle Edward needed me.”

  “Sir Edward was a forty year old man who allowed a thirteen year old girl to make her own decisions, at the expense of your mother and father, and your sisters... and even you.”

  “I know. Of course. I have always known that, Richard, but it was still my choice. At any rate, there is nothing to be done about it now.”

  “There is, though, Lizzy. That is what I am trying to tell you. Make peace with Darcy, I beg you. If not for him, or for yourself, do it for your mother. She misses you, and this rift between you and Darcy – you know she must feel it.”

  Elizabeth sighed. “Very well, Richard, I shall try.”

  “That’s my girl,” he said and smiled at her. They held each other’s gaze for a moment and Elizabeth suddenly grew nervous. There was one gentleman she might perhaps wish to be alone in the moonlight with, but it was not her cousin. She knew he was going to mention it, what he wanted from her, and she could not bear to think of it at present. Not now, when her head was so full of the handsome knight.

  Richard sensed her hesitation and offered her a hopeful smile. “You look beautiful tonight, Lizzy.”

  She laughed. “You look ridiculous.”

  “It is worth it, to see you smile. I would always have you so happy.”

  “I know.”

  “Do you?” He held her gaze still, moving his arm from around her shoulder to the back of her neck, and he drew her closer. “I had not intended to pressure you about, but I wish you would think of it, Lizzy. If you could be willing to improve your opinion of William, could you not begin to think of me as more than a cousin?”

  Elizabeth froze in place, unable to speak, to protest, as Richard reached up and stroked her cheek before leaning in and kissing her gently on the lips.

  ***

  Darcy was in no mood to speak to anyone, and wished nothing more than some privacy to clear his mind. He was angry with Elizabeth, and even annoyed with Richard. He wished he had never heard Miss Bingley’s vile gossip, for he had no desire to be so out of sorts when he was granted his next dance with the starling.

  He wished only to think of her – she liked him, and did not think him a selfish, boorish beast. He longed for the moment when they would dance again, and when at the end of it he might learn her identity and reveal himself. Whoever she was, she was certainly bound to feel all her good fortune in discovering who he was.

  Darcy stepped out onto the balcony, which wrapped around the side of his uncle’s house. Feeling a great tumult of hurt and anger at odds with the hope his starling offered him, and the almost surreal experience their dance had been, Darcy paced on the balcony and finally drew his cigar case from his pocket to indulge his anxiety.

  Still he paced, his mind a whirl. He was not pleased that his mother would wish Elizabeth to reside with them, though he knew what it meant to her. And in the end, he knew he could not possibly deny her anything that would bring her joy. Richard was in favor of it, and urging a reconciliation, but even if Darcy could come to terms with allowing Elizabeth to come home, he could not approve of Richard’s pursuit of her. Richard could do far better, second son or not.

  He paced and paced, and at length he put out his cigar and walked around the corner of the balcony, when he heard voices and stopped. It was more dimly lit on this side of the house, but not twenty paces away he could make out the figure of his garishly dressed cousin sitting on a bench, his back to Darcy, beside a woman, though the lady was cloaked in shadow.

  He watched Richard lean forward to kiss the woman, and Darcy was on the point of withdrawing when the young lady’s movement caused her dress to rustle, and as the fabric shifted around her feet there was a shimmer of blue and purple on black – it was the starling.

  Darcy stood, rooted in place by his own horror as he watched her draw away from Richard, her eyes glistening with tears, and then she stood and ran away. Richard sat still for a moment, letting out a heavy sigh, and then he rose to his feet and pursued her.

  It was several minutes before Darcy could move, though he had no wish to return to the ballroom yet. His heart ached and his stomach was in knots. He had not wished for Richard to pursue Elizabeth, but this was so much worse! Richard has turned his attention to the one woman to whom Darcy had been able to recommend himself. Had it been his disapproval of the match with Elizabeth that had driven Richard to look elsewhere? But of all the women here, why her? She was his; in some small way that he could not describe, he felt it completely. They had connected in such a way that she had, in that moment, seemed to belong to him, and it was little comfort to see that she had not welcomed Richard’s advances. How could he pursue a woman he knew his cousin would covet?

  The emergence of Caroline Bingley and his cousin John onto the balcony made Darcy draw back into the shadows, and though his mind was still reeling, he could not escape the sound of her preening laughter. And then, the sound of more kissing.

  Darcy rounded the corner and forced himself to re-enter the ballroom. By now Richard had managed to make amends to the starling, for he was dancing a lively reel with her. Darcy quickly walked past the dance, avoiding the sight of her and his cousin together, and paused only to speak to Mary, who was being led to the set by Bingley.

  “I am for the card room, my dear,” he said. “Tell our mother she may send for me when she wishes to return home.”

  ***

  Elizabeth muddled through her dance with Richard as best she could; she had not been given much of a choice. She had been accosted by Lord Chawton almost as soon as she entered the ballroom, and solicited for another dance before she had even time to compose herself. Richard had appeared at her side then, telling Lord Chawton she was promised to him for the next dance, and she scarcely had time to inform the odious man that her final set was also taken, before she was whisked away.

  Richard was silent for several minutes before saying, “I am sorry I upset you.” Elizabeth scarcely knew how to reply, and so she remained silent. Richard sighed. “I only wanted the chance to find out ... to see if there might ever be anything between us,” he whispered as the steps of the dance brought them closer.

  “I told you, I am not ready,” she replied, and at that moment she saw the handsome knight walking past. She stared at him, hoping he would glance back at her, but he did not. He stopped to speak to Mary and Mr. Bingley, and then disappeared into the great crush of revelers.

  The handsome knight did not appear when the last dance of the night was called, and deflated by her uncomfortable set with Richard, Elizabeth hung back, hoping he would come for her.

  He did not, and as the dance began, Elizabeth wondered why. Had she given some offense? Had the intensity of the connection existed only in her mind? She felt foolish for letting herself hope, as she had never imagined she could. But of course, it was doomed to end is disappointment, everything always did.

  At last she was joined by her mother, who took a seat beside her. “Are you well, my dear?”

  Elizabeth shook her head, fighting back tears. “I hardly know.”

  “Oh, my dear girl. Poor Lizzy, whatever is the matter?”

  Elizabeth had no desire to embarrass herself by sharing the particulars, and merely leaned into her mother,
resting her head on Lady Anne’s shoulder. “Have you seen my uncle? I wish to go home.”

  “You do look tired, Lizzy. Let us go and find Sir Edward, and get you home.” Her mother stood and took Lizzy by the hand. “I know it is not the right moment, my love, but there is something I have been wishing to ask of you. When you said you wished to go home, oh Lizzy, how I wished that you meant my home. I have spoken with Edward about it... Lizzy, what if you were to come and stay at Darcy House for a time?”

  “I....” Elizabeth froze with panic.

  Lady Anne squeezed her hand. “You do not have to answer now, my dear. I only supposed you to be upset because of Henry’s insistence on pushing you at all his dreadful ‘eligible men.’ I know Edward does not wish to stand up to Henry – it has always been this way – but I am not afraid of my brother. If you were to come and stay with us at Darcy House, you might escape the pressure, and you shall always have your Mamma on hand to comfort you at times like this. Only think on it, my dear. I find I have grown tired of letting others make you cry, Lizzy. I wish you would come home.”

  Elizabeth felt the tears begin to flow behind her mask, and she nodded feebly as she looked up at her mother. She was in such a state that she wished she could do as she had done when she was a girl, and simply hide in her mother’s skirts. To go home, to be with her mother, to flee her uncles’ designs... it was exceedingly tempting, and yet, it would be such a betrayal. Even if Uncle Edward approved, Rose would be wounded, and the twins would not understand. And it would mean living in the same house as William.

  She considered what Richard had said to her about William, and then, inevitably, everything else that had transpired with Richard flooded her mind. “I shall think on it,” she said at last.

  “Oh, Lizzy, thank you. I cannot bear to see you looking so miserable, and feel so powerless to do aught about it.”

  “Would you really go up against Uncle Henry and his matches for me? All of them?”